It was Lin Xigu’s turn on cleaning duty that day. His partner was their athletics class rep, Yue Tao. Early in the day, before morning classes commenced, the two of them waddled out of the instructional building, sharing the load of a brimming garbage bin.
The garbage disposal was at the west gate of the school, and they had to cross the field to reach it. It was Lin Xigu’s first time on cleaning duty and he was having trouble getting his bearings, so he had no choice but to ask Yue Tao, “Where do we need to go again? Is it far?”
“Not far,” Yue Tao glanced at him and smiled, “Tired already? You can let go. I can do it myself.”
“No, no, not tired. I mainly don’t know where I’m going.” In truth, it was quite challenging to share the bin with Yue Tao at the same time. Yue Tao was 192 cm tall while Lin Xigu was a full head shorter. The garbage bin they were carrying was large and Lin Xigu could neither fully extend nor bend his arms comfortably.
Yue Tao applied a little force and wrested the bin away from Lin Xigu’s hands. “Ha ha, no worries, I’m okay doing this on my own. Lin Qian was my partner in my last group. Do you know her? She’s second best in our class. When I was in a group with her, it was always me who took out the garbage. Big, hulking guy like me… it must be quite a task for the rest of you.”
Lin Xigu felt a little embarrassed but didn’t press the point as Yue Tao didn’t seem to be struggling much. He scratched his head and said, “Yeah, you are indeed… quite tall.”
Yue Tao smiled and changed the subject, “So where did you go to school before? I noticed that you had come in with the dean. Do you know him?”
“Not really. I’d never even met him before. I’m not originally from here, so this city’s new to me too.”
The two of them chatted the rest of the way. While Yue Tao was emptying the trash, Lin Xigu ran out and bought two cans of Red Bull, one of which he handed to Yue Tao when he returned.
Yue Tao looked at him, “What’s this for? Compensation for my labour or something?”
“No, just treating you to a drink.” Lin Xigu chuckled and wiped his chin with his sleeve.
“Cheers, I’ll accept it then. Next time, it’s on me.”
Lin Xigu nodded, “You bet.”
By the time they arrived back at the school gates, empty bin in hand, there were still ten minutes to go until school officially started. Lin Xigu didn’t know whether it was because She Xiao was his tongzhuo or if he just had the natural tendency to stand out in a crowd, but his gaze was drawn to him immediately.
He had his backpack slung over his shoulder and was wearing a black baseball cap, crossing the main gates of the school with his gaze lowered. He never looked over his shoulder. However, there lingered behind him a group of unsavoury personalities who did not appear to be students. All were watching him intently; one was making a call on his phone.
Lin Xigu glanced back a few times, but Yue Tao herded him into the building.
“Don’t get involved,” Yue Tao said quietly.
Lin Xigu bit his lip and nodded.
She Xiao was already seated when he returned from washing his hands. He came to a stop beside She Xiao and mumbled “Let me through…”
She Xiao stood without comment.
Lin Xigu squeezed past him and turned, ready to say thank you. His words caught in his throat.
There was a gash an inch wide behind She Xiao’s ear that was still seeping blood.
“My god…”
The wound didn’t look fresh, the edges already red and swollen; it had to be a few hours old, at the very least. Lin Xigu remembered the mobsters who had dogged She Xiao that morning and, for a moment, was at a total loss for words. If it had been anyone else, he surely would have asked, but he had nothing to say to She Xiao.
There was no need to ask, and he wouldn’t have answered if he did.
Lin Xigu was not a particularly nosy person. He wanted to pretend like he hadn’t noticed anything. But with She Xiao sitting just to his left, it was impossible not to see that gash whenever he looked up. The wound looked excruciatingly painful, and every now and then, a few drops of blood would ooze out which would trickle down into the collar of She Xiao’s black school uniform.
Lin Xigu was pained by the very sight of it, but She Xiao acted as though nothing was wrong.
After lunch, rather than heading back to the classroom to get some shut-eye, something possessed Lin Xigu to turn on his heels and head in the direction of the school clinic.
Later, whenever he thought back to that day, Lin Xigu always felt stupid, like some bleeding heart female lead from a poorly-written drama.
In all honesty, he hadn’t overthought it at the time. She Xiao was his tongzhuo after all. The fact that they weren’t on friendly terms didn’t mean that he could overlook the blood dripping from his head.
With a head wound like that, She Xiao really ought to get stitched up at the hospital, but it was not his place to give him medical advice, so he only bought some medicated ointment and gauze before going back to the classroom with his purchases stuffed in his pockets.
Their lunch break was nearly three hours long so not many students had stuck around; those who could go home had gone home or were otherwise back in their dormitories. There were only three people in the classroom, Lin Xigu included. She Xiao was the fourth to return.
The first thing he did was rest his head on the desk, seemingly prepared to nap some more.
His new position made it easier to see the wound. Lin Xigu surreptitiously turned out the contents of his pockets, folding the gauze into a square and securing it with medical tape before flipping it over and applying ointment to it.
He held the piece of medicated dressing in his palm, gazing at the back of She Xiao’s head. Taking several deep breaths, Lin Xigu carefully extended his hand and placed the bandage on She Xiao’s wound.
In an almost instantaneous reaction, She Xiao sat up. Lin Xigu’s vision blurred. When he came to, he was pressed against the wall with She Xiao’s hands in a pincer grip around his neck, anger blazing in his bloodshot eyes.
The other two students were startled by the commotion and looked over.
“… I was just putting a bandage on. Your head’s still bleeding.” Lin Xigu’s neck throbbed. He waved the dressing that he had not been able to apply, staring back at She Xiao with wide eyes that were glazed and watering from fright.
She Xiao stared at him a while longer before letting go.
Lin Xigu motioned to his other two classmates to show that he was okay. One of the girls made a gesture for him to leave and stop agitating She Xiao. Lin Xigu smiled at her.
Although he had just been held by the neck moments ago, Lin Xigu felt rather more relaxed now. He reached out to place the medicated patch on She Xiao’s head a second time. She Xiao instinctively dodged his hand, but couldn’t get away in time. Lin Xigu whispered from beside him, “I’m just putting a bandage on you. Don’t hide from me.”
She Xiao turned and Lin Xigu met his gaze directly. His eyes were simple and pure.
She Xiao furrowed his brow. It was unclear whether his expression was due to the ointment stinging his wound, but there was a ferocious look in his eyes nonetheless.
Lin Xigu was not intimidated by him, and was starting to feel irate about the scare. He pursed his lips, “What are you glaring at me for? I’m only meddling because you’re good-looking. And what was with that reaction? Scared me half to death, you did.”
She Xiao looked at him soundlessly a while longer, then reached into his pocket and tossed a ¥50 bill onto Lin Xigu’s desk before curling up again to sleep.
Lin Xigu looked at the ¥50 bill, feeling slightly exasperated.
In the end, he pocketed the money and stuffed everything he’d bought into She Xiao’s backpack.
This marked one of their more extensive exchanges.
In the month that followed, their communication dwindled, confined to brief expressions of politeness such as “let me in, thanks” and “let me out, thanks.” Once, Lin Xigu had reminded She Xiao, “You were out while they were collecting the homework so I helped hand yours in.”
In all his living years, he had never met anyone like She Xiao; he really, really did not like to talk. Despite having shared desk space for over a month, the only time She Xiao had spoken to him was the time he had told him to switch desks.
At first, he had tried to devise ways to make conversation but the silence finally grew on him and Lin Xigu stopped dwelling on it, his heart still as a lake.
He preferred looking at She Xiao’s face anyway; his voice mattered little. The gash on She Xiao’s head had healed, leaving only a scar that would likely take a couple of years to fade completely. Lin Xigu would stare at it sometimes while zoned out, eyes fixated on that pale pink scar and the red birthmark on She Xiao’s ear.
That little red freckle was slightly north of his earlobe, not large and crimson in colour. It looked nice.
Lin Xigu ranked 48th out of the 60 students in his class on his end-of-month test. It was obvious that he had underperformed; his grades were nothing to write home about but they were not usually so dismal.
Zhou Cheng sat him down for a one-on-one with his test scores in hand to check in with him, offering reassurance to not worry too much; it was normal to see fluctuations when starting out in a new environment.
Lin Xigu had not been worried at all. He lacked the pressure his other classmates faced in having to explain their grades to their parents, but that was the one thing he did not have to concern himself with, because nobody ever asked; his parents would not have even known that he’d had a test.
His dad called that evening, saying, “Son, Baba has some free time next month. I’m planning to come spend a few days with you.
“That’s great,” Lin Xigu said.
“Miss your old man at all?”
“How could I not?” Lin Xigu chuckled in reply. “I’ve been waiting for you to come home.”
The two of them laughed and chatted some more. Just before hanging up, his dad added, “That’s right, son. I transferred ¥50k[1] to your account yesterday. Use it for whatever you need.”
Lin Xigu made a noise of acknowledgement. “I already have enough in my account to last a long time. No need to send more.”
“Save it for a rainy day then,” his dad said nonchalantly.
Not many high school students were as well-off as Lin Xigu who had a surplus of financial freedom. Not that he had many living expenses; he rarely spent money on anything other than the bare necessities. Outside of school, he seldom left the house. He sometimes topped up his video games and bought a few CDs here and there – that was about it.
It was for the best that Lin Xigu was a highly self-disciplined child. Otherwise, who knew how he might have turned out with his parents’ brand of free-range parenting?
Lying in bed, Lin Xigu entertained the thought that he really was a good kid who listened to his parents most of the time. What a pity, then, that such a straight-laced child wasn’t actually all that straight.
He sighed. There was nothing he could do about it. He was simply not born to find girls attractive and there was no changing that.
On that note, Lin Xigu couldn’t help but think about She Xiao. About She Xiao and the small, red birthmark on his ear.
He couldn’t say for sure yet if he liked him in that way. But with She Xiao looking the way he did, he was bound to feel differently about him.
[1] Approximately $7,000 USD