The timing was getting close, but I hadn’t expected it to start this suddenly. Vaguely, I’d assumed that like last time, I’d only realize it after I fell asleep and woke up.
So that was why he’d been anxious. I finally understood. Because even the prince himself couldn’t know when, where, or with whom it would begin, he’d been staying on guard.
"Jay…"
Heat clung to his breath mixed into the way he said my name. Despite telling me to get away, the hand that grabbed my wrist in reverse—over the hand I had on his wrist—was burning hot.
I shook my head.
"I believe you won’t hurt me, Duke."
His breathing was rough. I opened my mouth again.
"I don’t want a child with you. And I can’t have one, either."
I put force into every word, like I was engraving it into his eyes.
As if in pain, the prince’s face twisted. The eyes glaring at me almost looked like they held resentment.
"I’m a beta. I can’t smell your pheromones at all."
His eyes, fixed on me, glittered red and blue. The dazzling light was so much like a gemstone, it felt like it might enchant me.
When the prince closed his eyes, I even felt a hint of regret.
"Damn it."
After a long silence, when his voice came again, some of the heat had faded from it. His eyes looked a little redder than usual, but they were fixed in blue again as they turned back to me. I felt pity—and at the same time, relief.
"So there really is something you can’t do."
When I deliberately played it off, the prince nodded slowly.
"Plenty of things. Things I can’t do."
"You’re good at far more, but there’s one thing you definitely can’t do. Cursing is really awkward on you."
The prince let out a short, quiet laugh. With a drained hand, he rubbed my wrist and then let go. Then, like he was collapsing, he leaned his forehead against my shoulder.
"You have one thing you definitely can’t do, too."
"I’m good at far more than I’m bad at."
"That’s true, but."
The prince cut himself off and inhaled. His breath tickled the back of my neck. The slow blink of his eyes felt like touch.
"Clearly, you can’t smell my pheromones."
From his tone, I could read emotions that resembled what I’d felt. Regret. And relief. I couldn’t tell which of the two was stronger. After a moment, the prince finally pulled his body completely away from mine.
"Go tell Philip. Tell him to bring Tommy here. And Jay, you…"
The red in the prince’s eyes deepened. He pressed his lips together. His jawline stood out hard. He was obviously wrestling with something.
Then he gave me an order.
"Tell Philip, then come back here. Immediately."
Even as he spoke, he looked like he regretted it. So I answered.
"Yes. I’ll come back immediately."
Even though he’d told me to get away, the high heat of the hand that had gripped my wrist so hard still lingered. The body heat of a boy whose heart wanted one direction while his duty forced him another.
It wasn’t something I should say as an attendant, but I pitied him.
It felt like I was looking at myself back when I was Han Jae, not this body now.
When I told Philip to bring Tommy and returned to the banquet hall, the prince was lying on the marble floor, like he was trying to cool his raised body temperature.
"That was fast."
The prince, who’d already been watching me from the moment I entered, said in a voice that didn’t sound surprised at all, pretending to be impressed.
"I ran, as you can see."
Seeing my shoulders still heaving, the prince smiled. It was clearly a made expression.
"Stamina matters for a mage. I should make you run around the garden."
"Are you only going to make me run? And it’s almost winter."
"You’re dramatic. The leaves haven’t even all fallen yet."
While we traded nonsense, I walked closer to him. The moment I crouched down near his feet as he lay there, the smile vanished from the prince’s face.
"I forgot. After rut ends, it’ll be winter."
Saying that word out loud while he couldn’t even hide his self-loathing was the same as telling me to get away. My employer was unbelievably stubborn. You could see it plain as day—he was struggling, he wanted help, and still.
He’d definitely forgotten that right here, in this exact posture, he’d already confessed once that he’d wished for someone’s help. He’d said it like it was in the past, but to me, it looked like that wish still wasn’t over.
"Are you uncomfortable?"
"If you stayed a little farther away, I’d be a lot more comfortable."
"An unfaithful attendant came back in a hurry and couldn’t bring anything. Should I at least give you my lap as a pillow?"
"The watch."
"…What?"
The contest that wasn’t even a conversation, where we each only said what we wanted to say, ended when I actually reacted to the prince’s words. Even with a face already starting to break out in cold sweat, the prince curved his eyes.
"The watch I gave you. Wear it. It’ll help you. …Even from me."
I didn’t know what expression I made. Surprise. Relief. Or maybe, arrogantly, pity for the prince.
Looking up at my face, the prince lifted the corners of his mouth. A flawless, picture-perfect smile, without a single fault.
I opened my mouth, but I couldn’t push any sound out. I couldn’t even tell what I wanted to say.
"Duke, I came as you summoned."
Like time that had stopped was starting up again, the butler Philip’s stiff voice came from behind us.
"You called for me."
Then Tommy’s voice followed, hesitant and small.
The prince sat up from the floor. When his body wobbled, I reflexively supported him.
Hoo.
The prince’s long breath brushed my ear. When I looked up at Philip and Tommy standing in front of us, it was obvious the prince was suppressing his pheromones as hard as he could. I remembered people screaming and fleeing in terror. Philip was one of them back then—and yet now, he could stand in front of the prince with a steady face.
"Tommy."
When the prince called his name, Tommy bent at the waist deeply. But that fearless little bastard, even now, kept rolling his eyes back and forth between the prince and me.
"Should I pluck your eyes out?"
When the lowered voice rang out, Tommy’s hands finally started to shake.
"I, I…"
"Or should I pull out your tongue first?"
I heard him suck in a breath.
"Do you think I’m being too much?"
The question was aimed at me.
It was clearly cruel. By my modern Korean standards.
But as a beta living in this era, I couldn’t find any grounds to oppose the prince’s punishment.
It was because Tommy had moved his mouth recklessly. Because he’d let those words slip into my ear—words harsh enough that the prince had to force rut back while suppressing pheromones he couldn’t properly control.
"No, sir."
It was almost a relief that I was here. I needed to learn this era’s rules properly, too. What price came back when you crossed a line you weren’t supposed to cross.
Not just lean on the prince’s generosity.
"Good."
Suddenly, the prince’s weight leaned into me a little more. Like a movement that knew what I was thinking. I barely held back a bitter smile.
"Philip."
"Yes, Duke."
"Send that one to Miller at daybreak tomorrow. And watch Miller’s surroundings. When my rut ends, I need you to show me results."
"Yes. Yes, Duke."
"Go back. You’ll have a lot to do now."
"Th-thank you. Thank you."
With that awkward thanks forced out in a trembling voice, Philip hurried out of the banquet hall.
"Tommy."
Tommy couldn’t even answer. Instead, a choked, stifled sob spilled out of the mouth of the kid sprawled on the floor.
The moment the name Miller came up, his legs started trembling, and he collapsed forward like he’d been knocked down. Yeah. If we were talking suspicious, the most suspicious one was the merchant named Miller—the one who’d recommended someone that clueless, tactless, and nothing but impatient to the prince.
"Answer."
"Hngh… y-yes. Yes."
"I’ll let you leave with your body intact, so you’ll need to find out in detail what changed in Miller’s circumstances and who he meets."
"Y-yes. I… I will f-follow… as you s-said…"
His mangled speech, mixed with crying, changed in an instant. A ruby left abandoned on the floor rattled as it trembled. It felt like the prince’s suppressed pheromones were leaking.
"Are you pushing yourself too hard?"
"Thanks for worrying, but it’s something I have to do."
When Tommy’s breathing stabilized, the prince breathed thought into him again.
"Tommy, you don’t know Jay. Right?"
"Who is Jay?"
Tommy lifted the head he’d been desperately bowing. With a blank stare completely at odds with his face soaked in tears, he asked the prince back. Even though I was right in front of him, he didn’t recognize me at all.
"Go back to your quarters. Leave for Miller in the morning."
"Yes, Duke."
He bowed neatly to the prince, turned, and left. The prince rose to his feet almost at the same time.
I rose with him, one arm around him. Even though I wasn’t tall enough to reach his shoulder, I could barely feel any weight. The prince was standing on his own strength. The meaning of supporting him disappeared, but I still couldn’t pull away. Because one of his arms had wrapped around my shoulders.
When I glanced up, the prince’s face was expressionless. If he’d yelled while smiling like a flower, I would’ve felt reassured.
"You’re merciful."
At my clumsy attempt at comfort, the prince let out a faint laugh.
"For him right now, that’s the cruelest thing I could do."
"If he saw Miller like a parent, then… I guess it could be."
He was the one who recommended a kid who’d lost his parents to the prince, and then offered to take him back. No matter what his intentions were, Tommy definitely would’ve felt close to him. In that case, it really would be a punishment that would hurt. Especially since Tommy might suffer trying to dig into Miller’s background without knowing what he was stepping into. Philip was already moving, so anything Tommy scraped up wouldn’t truly be needed, but the psychological burden on him would be heavy.
Still, by this era’s standards, it felt merciful.
As if cutting off my thought, an astonishingly loud laugh burst from the prince’s mouth.
"You definitely…"
Was there something I’d missed? Like he was about to correct my words, the prince didn’t finish. He lowered the hand that had been on my shoulder. When we faced each other, the prince smiled with one eye squinting. The balance of his perfect face broke, twisting his expression, and it wasn’t flowerlike or beautiful.
But for the first time, I felt like I was seeing his bare face.
"Now you go back too, Jay."
The prince gave me the order in a clear voice, even though his eyes had already turned completely red.
It was time for me to step back, so he could be sick as much as he wanted, alone.
"Then I’ll see you tomorrow, Duke."
I moved my feet, promising the next day.
Clatter.
The sound of a ruby rolling rang in my ear again.
A gemstone, stained black with contamination, came into my view—its blood-red light gone.