If an Enemy Looks for Trouble, Just Stuff Their Mouths!
17: Chapter 17: Paimon and the Fried Chicken Angels!
If an Enemy Looks for Trouble, Just Stuff Their Mouths!
“System, what’s the progress of the Mondstadt main storyline right now?” [Replying to Host: The Mondstadt main storyline progress is at 10%!] “Still 10%?” Aether knew that after successfully driving away Stormterror’s first attack, the next plot point was to clear the Temple of the Four Winds.
The power of the Abyss was currently eroding those sacred grounds.
If they weren’t cleared soon, Lisa wouldn’t be able to restore Mondstadt’s magical barrier, which had been severely damaged by Stormterror’s rampage.
Because the barrier had weakened, many monsters had started to boldly attack the city at night.
The Knights of Favonius were completely overwhelmed by this situation.
They had absolutely no manpower or free time to track Stormterror’s flight path.
Aether frowned.
He knew perfectly well that tracking the giant dragon’s location required the full mobilization of the Knights of Favonius.
Only by figuring out when and where Stormterror’s lair was could he purify the dragon and completely finish the Mondstadt storyline.
However, as long as the knights were still tied down by the problem at the Temple of the Four Winds, the main storyline would remain stalled.
Therefore, Aether felt he had to step in and resolve the temple issue as soon as possible.
But one thing kept bugging him.
If he remembered correctly from the game’s storyline, wasn’t Master Jean supposed to invite him directly to help clear out the temples?
Why hasn’t she come to see him yet?
This was really weird.
Nevertheless, the thought of the Invincible Domain reward waiting for him after clearing the stories of the Seven Nations meant Aether couldn’t just sit around.
He decided to take the initiative.
He planned to go to the Knights of Favonius headquarters, offer his help directly, and wrap up the Mondstadt storyline as fast as he could.
After that, he could set sail for Liyue right away.
Just as he was planning his next move, a loud noise suddenly echoed through the room.
Grumble~~~ Aether turned his head and saw Paimon clutching her deflated stomach.
The tiny creature looked at him with a pitiful expression, looking like she was about to cry.
“┗|｀O|┛ Ahhhh!!!” Paimon whined.
“Paimon is hungry!” “Paimon is starving!” “Paimon wants to eaaaat!” Aether sighed.
“You’re hungry again already?” Paimon pouted and exclaimed in annoyance, “I haven’t eaten for a whole half hour!
Of course it’s normal for me to be hungry!” “You just scarfed down three whole Sweet Madames!” Aether retorted in disbelief.
“Three of them are nowhere near enough!!!” “You glutton.
Ninety percent of my money is gone just from feeding you.” “Please, Paimon’s tummy is completely flat now!” Paimon whined while rubbing her belly.
“Hah…
I seriously don’t know what to do with you.
Fine, wait here for a bit.” “Hehe, I knew the Traveler was the best!” Paimon cheered happily.
“In that case, give me a snack first to hold me over.
Paimon feels totally weak right now!” Having no other choice, Aether tossed a bag of snacks to Paimon so the little creature would quiet down for a while.
He then turned around and walked toward the kitchen, intending to make some real food.
If he didn’t cook now, the growling of Paimon’s stomach would definitely annoy him to death when they fought at the Temple of the Four Winds later.
Aether took out four or five pieces of fowl that he got from hunting Timmie’s pet pigeons on the Mondstadt bridge yesterday.
He also prepared some cocoa powder, chocolate, peanuts, sugar, and other complementary ingredients.
This time, he planned to make a large batch of crispy fried chicken and Snickers bars.
These two types of food were very quick to prepare and extremely high in calories.
The fried chicken would be the main course.
By eating that, at least the gluttonous Paimon’s hunger could be staved off for the next four hours.
Meanwhile, the Snickers bars would serve as emergency rations to fill the girl’s stomach whenever she started whining about being hungry on the road.
And so, Aether began to cook.
Thanks to his passive ability, ‘God-Tier Cooking Skills’, Aether felt like a culinary god descending upon the mortal realm.
He was able to handle every detail of the cooking process with absolute precision.
From cutting techniques, seasoning measurements, and heat control, to the cooking duration—everything was managed flawlessly.
Not long after, a large plate of golden fried chicken emitting a mouthwatering aroma and a bag of handmade Snickers bars were served on the table.
“Wow, fried chicken!” Paimon’s eyes sparkled.
“Traveler, how did you know I was craving this so badly?!” Paimon hugged Aether’s arm happily, then quickly got ready to devour her feast.
Aether just stared at Paimon in silence.
He was actually very curious about the meaning behind the system’s previous warning: ‘Please be careful in choosing the people who will eat your cooking!’.
Since this dish was made with his own hands and clearly didn’t contain any deadly poison, it shouldn’t endanger Paimon’s life, right?
Therefore, he decided to make Paimon his guinea pig.
At the table, Paimon snatched a piece of fried chicken with her tiny hands and took a huge bite.
The moment that deliciousness touched her tongue, Paimon felt an explosion of sweet and savory meat juices spreading throughout her mouth!
This unparalleled flavor made Paimon’s body tremble violently.
Her vision slowly blurred, and she started smiling to herself with a strange expression on her face.
At that second, Paimon felt as if her soul was being pulled into a fried chicken paradise, surrounded by winged fried chicken angels flying and dancing around her.
This incredible sensation made Paimon’s entire body feel as light as a feather.
Unable to resist the temptation, she took another bite of the meat.
Suddenly, she felt eighteen levels of savory bliss exploding consecutively in her mouth!
Each layer of flavor far surpassed the one before it.
When the sensation reached its peak at the eighteenth level, the fried chicken angels and Paimon in her fantasy world exploded simultaneously.
Her sense of happiness reached nirvana!
BOOOM!
At the exact same time in the real world, Paimon’s clothes literally exploded!
The fabric ripped into tiny shreds that scattered into the air!
Paimon collapsed onto the floor in a daze.
She lost consciousness with a face full of absolute satisfaction, occasionally muttering and giggling foolishly, “Fried chicken is indeed…
the greatest blessing…
hehehe~~~” Aether: (⊙_⊙)?
Aether’s face was instantly covered in giant question marks.
He froze on the spot.
He completely didn’t expect that his fried chicken could trigger such a devastating ‘flavor explosion’ reaction, to the point of destroying Paimon’s clothes and making her pass out from sheer deliciousness.
Now he finally understood the warning from the system’s private message.
If he carelessly cooked this god-tier food for other people, the consequences would be absolutely terrifying and humiliating!
He then glanced at the Snickers chocolate snacks on the table.
It seems I should hide these for myself for now, he thought with a shudder.
If Paimon wakes up and eats these snacks too, the kid’s supply of spare clothes might not be enough to last until tomorrow.
But on the other hand, he also realized the terrifying potential of his cooking as a ‘hidden weapon’.
If an enemy comes looking for trouble later, he could just forcibly stuff this food into their mouths!
He’d let them experience the horror of god-tier cooking firsthand!
…
After cleaning up the mess caused by Paimon’s hunger, Aether finally stepped out towards the Knights of Favonius headquarters, ready to handle the problem at the Temple of the Four Winds!