“Perland Academy is a school I spent a fortune getting you into! If you dare cause trouble again, I’ll break your legs myself!” the middle aged man in the driver’s seat shouted angrily. Several large gold rings on his fingers flashed with dazzling light as he gripped the steering wheel.
“Then go ahead and try, old man! Let’s see who can actually beat who!” the young man in the back seat yelled back just as loudly. His posture was sloppy and careless as he lounged across the seat. “I already told you I don’t want to go there! That bullshit top tier academy is nothing but a rotten, old fashioned prison with modern packaging and way too many rules!”
The moment his words fell, the car suddenly slammed to a violent stop.
Bang!
The young man in the back seat was caught completely off guard, his forehead crashing hard into the seat in front of him.
“Fuck!” he cursed under his breath. Just as he was about to explode in anger, he noticed that the driver was staring straight ahead with a deeply furrowed brow.
It turned out the abrupt stop wasn’t intentional at all.
Someone had suddenly darted out from the roadside and planted themselves directly in the middle of the road.
Fortunately, the middle aged driver had reacted quickly and the car itself had not been moving very fast. Otherwise, they would have hit the person head on.
At that moment, the figure simply stood motionless in the center of the road.
Even with the car stopping inches away, they did not move at all. They merely turned in place and faced the vehicle.
Through the windshield, they could roughly make out the stranger’s appearance.
The person had smooth black short hair, with a thin little fishtail braid hanging beside the right ear. They wore an eye searing fluorescent yellow rain cape, along with a decorative angel halo perched on top of their head.
Although attractive people could make almost anything look good, the overall outfit was still unbelievably bizarre. It was not something any ordinary person would ever wear outside.
“…What the hell is that?” the young man in the back seat muttered, eyebrows knotting together.
The middle aged driver frowned deeply as well before pressing down on the horn.
Beeep! Beeep!
The sharp honking rang through the narrow road yet the person blocking the way acted as though they heard absolutely nothing. They continued standing there without moving an inch.
This road was a one way lane, a shortcut the driver had deliberately taken in order to send his son to school faster. If the strange person who had suddenly jumped out from the roadside greenery refused to move aside, there would be no way for them to continue forward.
The person outside stood there as steadily as a rock.
After glancing at his wristwatch and losing patience, the middle aged man unfastened his seatbelt and stepped out of the car, preparing to order the stranger to move.
But at that exact moment, the person finally moved.
The bizarre raincoat wearing figure strode over in several quick steps. After pausing for a second upon approaching, they completely ignored the middle aged man and headed straight for the driver’s seat.
Open the door.
Get in.
Close the door.
Start the engine.
Every movement was smooth and natural, as if this was the most reasonable thing in the world.
The middle aged man had not even processed what was happening when he suddenly heard his own car roar to life behind him.
Instinctively, he leapt sideways toward the pedestrian path.
Almost the very next second, the car accelerated violently forward, barely missing him by a hair.
Middle aged man: ?
Young man still sitting in the back seat: ??
Wait a second,
This person just openly stole the car in broad daylight and drove off like it was completely normal??!!
=
Bai Fuling tapped the [Drive] button on the screen, controlling his pixel character to drive the car.
“So this really is one of those highly open world games. Pretty free, huh?” he commented with interest to himself. “Didn’t expect the NPC to actually get out and hand me the seat.”
The game he was currently playing was a pixel game that had mysteriously appeared on his phone that morning.
The game’s title was nothing but a single question mark.
Its icon was simply a black square.
Bai Fuling had no memory of downloading anything like this before but since he had nothing better to do anyway, he decided to open it and casually try it out.
During the character creation phase, he didn’t spend too much time on customization and simply selected the randomize option.
The system rolled out a black haired pixel character wearing a bright yellow raincoat along with a glowing angel halo.
Bai Fuling thought the outfit was eye catching enough to stand out instantly among the pixel scenery, so he happily confirmed it.
As for whether it looked strange or not…
Well, if you were playing a game, then of course you should wear ridiculous outfits!
A mass of writhing black tentacles spread across the screen before peeling away, revealing the game world beneath.
His spawn point was beside a roadside greenbelt.
On the left side of the screen, a line of small text appeared.
There was no reward listed.
No punishment warning.
No time limit either.
Compared to a mandatory quest, it felt more like a casual reminder from the game.
“Oh.” Bai Fuling nodded slightly. He liked games with this kind of relaxed freedom.
Using his fingers, he casually controlled the little character to walk around a few steps, testing the movement speed before stopping in the middle of the road. Then he curiously began poking around the icons in the upper corners of the screen.
“Hmm… status page, inventory, map… pretty standard setup for a pixel single player game,” Bai Fuling muttered as he closed the inventory screen that contained absolutely nothing except a [Student ID].
“Anyway, let’s head over to the marked school first.”
Only after closing the inventory page did he notice a pixel style sedan parked beside his character.
Bai Fuling turned his little character to face the car directly.
“Is this the school shuttle? A ride to school? Though honestly, school shuttles usually aren’t sedans…”
Still, he deliberately waited in place for several seconds, expecting some sort of scripted scene to trigger.
The pixel car remained stopped for a moment before a [Beeep! Beeep!] sound bubble popped up overhead. Immediately afterward, the driver’s door opened and a man in a black suit stepped out.
Why did the driver get out?
Bai Fuling was puzzled. He took one step forward and suddenly a square button labeled [Get In] popped up beside the car.
Bai Fuling froze briefly before instantly reaching enlightenment.
I see!
So that’s how it is!
This wasn’t a school shuttle at all, it was the game giving him a starter vehicle so he could drive himself to school!
Although the method of gifting the car felt kind of weird…
Whatever. A free car was still a free car!
Bai Fuling happily controlled his little character forward in a few quick steps, expertly tapping [Get In], [Close Door] and [Drive] in rapid succession before speeding away without the slightest hesitation.
The vehicle started smoothly and drove onto the road.
Bai Fuling enlarged the minimap interface and followed the navigation marker while driving.
Only when a dialogue box suddenly popped up did Bai Fuling realize there was actually someone sitting in the back seat.
In the rear seat sat a pixel character with blond hair. His portrait icon revealed a handsome young man leaning one arm over the front seat as he shouted:
“Hey! Who the hell are you?!”
Bai Fuling glanced at the dialogue box and noticed that the reply section allowed free text input. There was even an option for voice chat.
So… was this the naming stage now?
Blinking, Bai Fuling casually used voice input and entered one of the joke usernames commonly seen online:
“I’m Your Dad.”
The blond guy in the back seat: “?”
Why did he reply with a question mark? Was a family related nickname not allowed?
Seeing that the other party did not follow the classic routine and address him accordingly, Bai Fuling switched to another title instead.
“I Am His Majesty, Long Live the Emperor, Long Live Forever.”
The blond guy in the back seat: “??”
Another question mark.
Bai Fuling thought about it seriously.
Could it be that this game prohibited feudal related titles?
So he entered a more modern nickname instead:
“I’m the Cold Blooded Fish Killing Blade of RT Mart with Ten Years of Experience and No Tears.”
The blond guy in the back seat: “???”
Still question marks.
Resting one hand beneath his chin, Bai Fuling pondered deeply.
If every name failed, then the problem probably wasn’t the content itself.
Maybe the name was simply too long?
Thus, he changed it again. This time, he directly used the surname from his real name as the beginning and casually came up with a simple five character nickname.
“I’m Cabbage Fresh Fresh.”
The blond guy in the back seat: “……”
Seeing that the person in the back seat had finally stopped spamming question marks, Bai Fuling happily closed the dialogue box.
Good. Looks like the nickname registration was successful!
During the entire exchange, the car continued driving along the preset route he had selected.
Perland Academy was not very far away.
After crossing one street and turning a corner, the school came into view.
Bai Fuling parked at the school entrance. The moment he got out of the car, he noticed another vehicle stop behind him, a green taxi. A familiar pixel figure rushed out from it.
It was the NPC driver who had “given him the seat” earlier.
The NPC charged toward him at incredible speed. Above the man’s head floated a long status bar and over half of it was already red.
What kind of progress bar was that?
Bai Fuling tilted his head while thinking.
Red colored…
Thinking positively first, could it possibly be a red heart affection meter?
This NPC’s starting favorability toward him was surprisingly high! Combined with how he was currently running over to find him, could this be the personal butler assistant assigned to the protagonist by the game?
But there had been no background introduction at all. The only text prompt merely said that he should go to school.
Bai Fuling contemplated for several seconds before ultimately giving up on thinking too hard about it.
He decided to follow the text instructions and head into Perland Academy first.
He controlled his character forward,
But the character refused to move.
The former driver NPC had grabbed onto him from the side.
Bai Fuling swiped the screen several times. The pixel character only crawled forward at an agonizing snail’s pace, still trapped in place.
His brows furrowed slightly.
Then he opened the settings menu and located the option labeled [Unstuck].
After pressing [Unstuck], the pixel character finally broke free from the strange state and could move normally again.
Unfortunately, after only taking a few steps, the former driver NPC caught up once more, causing the character to fall back into slow motion movement.
What kind of bug was this?
Every interaction caused him to get stuck.
Also, why did that red progress bar rise every single time he got stuck?
Could it be that physical contact increased affection points?
Maybe this guy wasn’t a butler NPC at all but some kind of obsessive stalker??
Bai Fuling remained silent and simply continued pressing [Unstuck] over and over.
As he struggled against the NPC, an inexplicable competitive spirit gradually ignited inside him.
Caught again.
[Unstuck].
Caught again.
[Unstuck].
Caught again.
[Unstuck]!
[Unstuck]!!
The middle aged man felt like he was going insane.
His car had been driving perfectly fine before someone suddenly blocked the road. Then the car was inexplicably stolen right in front of him.
After finally managing to stop a taxi and chase the thief down, he had gotten out intending to demand an explanation.
Yet somehow, despite grabbing the other person’s arm one second, his hand would be completely empty the next.
And that bizarre individual would instantly appear just beyond arm’s reach.
Like some supernatural creature straight out of a ghost movie.
Blinking in and out of existence.
Impossible to catch no matter what he did.
Or rather…
He clearly caught him one moment, only for the grip to mysteriously slip away the next!
The two began circling around each other in place like some absurd reenactment of “The King of Qin Chasing Jing Ke Around a Pillar.”
The blond haired youth had also gotten out of the car by then. At first, he wore a deeply confused expression while staring at the strange figure in the yellow raincoat and angel halo.
But when he saw his father looking furious and disheveled from afar, he could no longer hold back his laughter.
“What’s wrong, old man? Why are you grabbing at thin air?” the youth mocked openly.
Hearing this only made the middle aged man angrier.
Once again, he lunged toward the bizarre yellow raincoat figure. He used so much force that his entire body staggered forward.
He caught hold of the icy cold raincoat.
He was certain he had grabbed the other person.
Yet in the very next instant, his hand became empty again.
The person reappeared one fist’s distance away, completely free, almost like a taunting prairie dog.
The middle aged man felt heat rushing straight into his brain.
His blood pressure exploded.
Bai Fuling watched as the red bar above the clingy driver NPC’s head filled completely before bursting open with a “Bang!” sound effect.
The entire NPC face instantly turned bright red.
He was utterly fascinated.
Huh?
How did the heartbeat meter suddenly max out like that?
Good heavens.
The guy’s face had turned completely red!
Author’s Note:
Bai Fuling (茯苓) is the name of a traditional Chinese medicinal herb. It has an extremely broad range of uses regardless of season and can be paired with many different medicines. Whether treating coldness, warmth, wind, or dampness related illnesses, it always displays unique effects.
Very fitting for an omnipotent, chaotic, comedic magical savior protagonist,
As for the male lead, yes, he is the world consciousness itself… specifically those black tentacles shown during the game’s opening screen. Although his appearances are limited in the early stages, traces of him are actually everywhere.
The protagonist is a player. Since he genuinely believes he is merely playing a game, his thought process is rather unconventional and his morality fluctuates wildly like Schrödinger’s cat. Please do not apply real world morality to him.
And please remember: all player behavior in this story takes place inside a game. Do not imitate any of it in real life!!
✦ ✧ ✦
Vynellia
[Translator]
☕ A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR THE TRANSLATOR
The Realm’s ancient scrolls mention something called… “buy them a coffee.”
☕ BUY THEM A COFFEE →
✧ (づ｡•ㅅ•｡)づ ☕ ✧
✦ thank you for reading ✦
Next →
ChaptersChapter 1 · Escape game freezesChapter 2 · Players aren’t allowed to use the main entranceChapter 3 · Players have created a medical miracle!Chapter 4 · If I hit the NPC more, will the NPC drop gold coins?Chapter 5 · Players earn the title of “bus weirdo”Chapter 6 · Players get a prison experienceChapter 7 · So the red bar isn’t for favorability, it’s for anger!Chapter 8 · The player is a nimble catChapter 9 · The player is a “law-abiding” good studentChapter 10 · Players have no morals and are fearlessChapter 11 · Player: What’s wrong? It’s called “Cai Cai Shui Ling LingChapter 12 · The player is the famous Farmer Detective!Chapter 13 · The player raised a new petChapter 14 · The player is a genius dog-riding boyChapter 15 · The player is a sticky, helpful, and kind comradeChapter 16 · It turns out that players aren’t considered human by NPCsChapter 17 · Players are like angels descending upon my side!Chapter 18 · Player: There’s only one truth!Chapter 19 · Why are players farming at the school?!Chapter 20 · Players came to the cafeteria to buy suppliesChapter 21 · Are NPCs model workers?Chapter 22 · If you’re a gay manChapter 23 · Player: Wheelchairs are a useful mode of transportation!Chapter 24 · So the player is actually part of Cat Returns (?)Chapter 25 · Liao Zhi Qiu, a large pet belonging to the playerChapter 26 · Player: Hello, I picked up this corpse.Chapter 27 · Bai Fuling: Players will never dieChapter 28 · Has the murderer been caught?Chapter 29 · Player: Visiting the mental hospital felt as familiar as coming homeChapter 30 · Players’ Adventure in the Mental Hospital: Round 1Chapter 31 · Player: Kid, fly!Chapter 32 · The player who does good deeds every day is truly a good personChapter 33 · The kitten brought back some local specialtiesChapter 34 · Let this adorable kitten stay forever?Chapter 35 · Players, don’t give up on being human!Chapter 36 · A kitten is just a kitten, isn’t it?Chapter 37 · Players want it, players get itChapter 38 · Angel Player and Unlucky Bear NPCChapter 39 · In short, players choose to throw at NPCsChapter 40 · The player just flew away!Chapter 41 · Player: You need to thoroughly understand the bookChapter 42 · Players love to tease honest NPCs.Chapter 43 · He said he was a little hungry.Chapter 44 · Even if cotton essence mutatesChapter 45 · Pure Love TentaclesChapter 46 · Choose to be a kitten?Chapter 47 · Players’ tears are weaponsChapter 48 · Players do not need to breatheChapter 49 · It’s on fire!Chapter 50 · The player is a top-tier rescue masterChapter 51 · How did the player manage to resurrect after killing themselves?!Chapter 52 · Call the player “Little Cat King”!Chapter 53 · What are the consequences of raising the cat-like alienation