The next morning, Christina No. 2's parents were having breakfast in the kitchen, definitely not expecting this kind of announcement.
"Mum, Dad, basically... we're getting married," Christina No. 2 said as she sat down in her usual spot.
"Mm," her mother muttered disapprovingly. "And what happened to the other girl?"
"She's on her way here," Christina No. 2 replied.
"We'll support you, of course," her dad started. "But it's not a very good thing you're doing."
"I know. And since nobody around here likes mistresses, we're getting married as a throuple."
"How?" her mother asked, unable to follow.
"Like a cow," Christina No. 2 snapped back crudely. "I don't know. Alex said he'd figure it out. And since I can't sort out my own feelings, that's why I came to you."
"And your...?" Her dad couldn't find the right word, seeing as my status was completely undefined. "Couldn't you have thought this through before making such a proposal?"
"I could change my citizenship," I offered the only legal option that came to mind. "And I was thinking, it's just an unorthodox case."
"Well, maybe you should just pick one of the Christinas after all?" her mother suggested, quite benevolently as she took over from Dad. "Rejecting a girl will hurt, sure, but just think about what it'll be like for her to live as a third wheel."
"Wing," Christina clarified. "Third wing."
"Not the point. Neither my daughter nor the other girl were raised for a harem. And society's going to look at them sideways. Sure, our Christina is a musician, so you can write it off as eccentricity, but you're far from bohemian yourself. It's going to be pretty hard to explain to her colleagues what she even saw in you. How do you actually picture your life together?"
"I don't know," I admitted honestly. "I didn't have time to think that far."
"Well," her mother let out a breath. "If you'd started pitching me some spiel about true love, I would've kicked you out right now, but you actually seem seriously..."
"Yes," I confirmed my intentions.
"...thinking this is somehow possible," her mother finished with a subtle edge as she turned back to Christina. "Still, in the worst-case scenario, you could just try an open relationship. Nobody's forcing you to get married right this second. Before UKARI, people used to date and break up, get mixed up in all sorts of questionable messes, but eventually, they figured out what they actually wanted. Yeah, Dad and I hardly approve of this, but that doesn't mean you don't have the right to try." Her mother glanced at her daughter. "You know how much we hate infidelity, but even if you decide to play the side chick for a while, you'll still be our daughter, and we'll love you. It's just that it'll be..."
"I'm the wife," Christina No. 2 cut her mother off, unlocked her phone, and showed her the latest message: an apology for the inaccuracy and a confirmation of her status as the officially assigned UKARI wife. "The mistress is the other Christina now. I'm completely lost."
Everyone fell silent for about a minute.
"What is it that you actually want?" her mother broke the silence.
"I don't know. To look at myself in the mirror without feeling hate? Not to be jealous? Not to lose my best friends?"
Her dad was looking at me now like I was the kind of guy who deserved to be thrown out a window, except he couldn't because his daughter somehow wanted this exact husband.
"And deep down?" her mother asked again.
"I don't want to decide this myself." Christina No. 2 averted her eyes. "Just tell me what I'm supposed to want. What's best for me?"
"You're asking the impossible of us," her mother said. "Not because we don't want the best for you, but because we don't know either. Try not the way, try anyway."
"I hate to admit it, but I agree with your mother," Dad chimed in. "Just play along. You're still young, your minds are plastic, and your interests aren't set in stone. You know the drill: 'Don't argue about taste, just taste.' Maybe you're just curious what a three-way relationship feels like, but because you've forbidden yourselves from even thinking about it, a regular Cobb salad looks to you like McCarthy."
Christina No. 2 raised her eyebrows and stared at her dad.
"So you approve of a throuple?"
"I don't approve, but as a man, I understand Alex's side. What I don't understand is you. It makes sense: if some men have mistresses, then there must be some women who become mistresses. But it makes no sense if a wife allows cheating."
"I'm not greedy," Christina No. 2 replied. "If allowed, it's not cheating."
"Thank heavens, you are my daughter, not my wife."
"True love is so harsh. I wanted to marry you when I was little. I didn't mind Mom being your other wife, because I didn't want her to sleep in a cot alone like me." Christina No. 2 smiled sadly. "I don't want to be a mistress or a cheated-on wife. Just tell my man how to dump everything into one pot and end up with something edible, or at least without ending up weeping on the toilet round and round all-dayes-long." Christina sang the last three words.
"There are no miracles," her dad replied. "If you want an unconventional dish, you're going to get burned by an inconvenient stove."
"Well, knowing you, I'm sure you'll get bored of it fast," her mother added, keeping up her supportive front. "Just don't go having kids too early, or you'll start blaming them for all your problems. Before UKARI, bad attitudes towards children were practically the norm. Kids weren't seen as new human beings you wanted to share the joys of life with, but as a dead weight around your neck that forced you to give up your own life. If you're going to descend into this archaic world of love, at least take precautions."
"Damn it," Christina No. 2 complained. "It's always like this. You come to your parents for a solution, and all you get is moral support. For once in your lives, take some responsibility."
"Responsibility comes from the word respond: answering the questions 'why?' and 'what for?'. If we make this choice for you, you'll just stay a dependent child forever."
"Well, maybe I am still a child?" No. 2 pouted.
"Maybe," her mother didn't argue. "Though little girls in kindergarten don't get stressed out over sharing one daddy when playing house. They're just glad they managed to rope some boy into sitting down for a family tea party."
Christina No. 2 let out a soft huff. And I remembered how the girls used to pester us back then, threatening to file a complaint with UKARI just so we'd play house with them instead of playing war.