Without giving it much thought at the moment, she lowered her eyes and politely said, "A-Ning wishes to stay with her parents and brother tonight. Brother Lu, please go ahead."
Xue Ning's words made Su Zhan's expression darken.
His handsome, sharply defined face grew heavy, like the night before a storm.
Yet Xue Ning still didn't understand.
Didn't Su Zhan dislike her? He could just leave.
This time, she didn't beg him to stay with her.
Su Zhan narrowed his eyes. "If you don't leave, I really will go by myself."
Xue Ning replied obediently, "Brother Lu, as you wish."
"Xue Ning—"
Xue Ning looked up and saw the man's cold gaze, her fingers curling even tighter.
In the past, she had always longed to be with him, but now every moment spent in his company felt unbearable.
She bit her lip and said respectfully, "Then I'll see Brother Lu out."
Su Zhan's thin lips pressed into a straight line, his refined face filled with cold ferocity.
Xue Ning pretended not to see it, silently escorting him to the temple gate.
Su Zhan frowned. "Xue Ning, what are you throwing a tantrum about now?"
Xue Ning pursed her lips. "I'm not throwing a tantrum. I just want to stay and spend more time with my parents."
Su Zhan sneered. "A young lady staying in a temple so late at night?"
Xue Ning's tone was gentle. "A-Ning is not alone. I have Nanny Hao and Bao Chan with me. Madam Jiang has also assigned guards to me. Brother Lu need not worry about my safety."
So it seemed he was just meddling in others' affairs.
Su Zhan nearly laughed in anger at the girl's words. "How come I never noticed before that you were so sharp-tongued?"
Xue Ning closed her mouth and said nothing, thinking it best not to provoke the man further.
Her sullen, lowered appearance left Su Zhan with no outlet for his anger.
He had never been one to indulge her whims too much. His handsome face darkened as he gave her a deep look before turning and leaving.
Once the man was gone, Xue Ning relaxed, her breathing becoming much smoother.
In the past, when he was unhappy like this, she would have taken the initiative to offer a smile.
But now, not having to watch his mood was truly liberating.
The man was tall and long-legged, with a straight and formidable build. Dressed in a dark ink-colored robe, he was extraordinarily handsome, and his figure soon disappeared into the darkness.
It wasn't the first time she had watched Su Zhan's retreating back.
After a moment, she withdrew her gaze.
Bao Chan cautiously peeked her small head out from behind the vermilion-lacquered door. "Miss, has the Shizi really left?"
Xue Ning replied, "Yes."
"Actually, it was nice having the Shizi here," Bao Chan said, shrinking her neck from the cold, feeling a chill down her back. "This servant is a bit scared."
Xue Ning lit three sticks of incense and held them before her forehead. "Bao Chan, where is Nanny Hao?"
Mentioning Nanny Hao, Bao Chan immediately forgot her fear. She went out to look around and returned, saying, "Nanny Hao is resting in the meditation room. She's just a nanny, not attending to you, yet she sleeps so soundly. What other young lady is as good-natured as you, Miss? Only in our courtyard would those nannies dare to look down on you like this."
Xue Ning's gaze was calm as she recalled seeing someone lurking suspiciously outside her door when she left the meditation room in the evening.
The attendant wore a brown short jacket, had a dark-skinned face, and a mole at the corner of his mouth.
She had seen him at Madam Jiang's birthday banquet—he served the dissolute Shizi from the declining Jiqing Earl's family, a distant relative of Madam Dong's branch.
Back then, that dissolute Shizi would often watch her from afar with a mocking, half-smiling look.
She had been entirely focused on how to scheme against Su Zhan, paying no attention to that man's lecherous gaze.
Now, recalling Su Qing's schemes against her in her past life, her mind suddenly cleared.
Cao Jin, the Shizi of Jiqing Bo, had come to Zhenguo Temple yesterday not to burn incense, worship Buddha, or attend the Dharma assembly—he had come specifically for her.
In her past life, after her engagement to Su Zhan was settled, she was drugged again and ended up sleeping with Cao Jin in a daze.
Although she was certain nothing had actually happened between them, in the eyes of the Su family, she was already a shameless and wanton woman—someone who, despite being engaged to the Shizi, still entangled herself with another man, a disgraceful, frivolous seductress.
When their "affair" was discovered, Madam Jiang was utterly disappointed in her, and Su Zhan's gaze toward her grew colder by the day.
A few days after the incident, Cao Jin drowned while drunk.
The matter was suppressed by Su Zhan.
Though she still married Su Zhan as planned.
Her grievances had nowhere to be voiced.
The reputation of an adulteress clung to her until her death.
"Young Miss?"
Bao Chan waved her small hand in front of Xue Ning's face.
She had noticed that her young miss often seemed lost in thought lately.
"What is Young Miss thinking about? Could it be that Nanny Hao has done something behind your back?"
Nanny Hao was not from the general's mansion; she had been assigned to Xue Ning by Madam Jiang years ago.
Xue Ning snapped back to reality, suppressing the crimson hatred in her eyes, and smiled gently. "Bao Chan, tell me, if someone wants to harm me, what should I do?"
Bao Chan was still young and inexperienced in the ways of the world. She replied crisply, "Of course, Young Miss should fight back."
"Yes."
Fight back—she should indeed fight back.
In her past life, because she admired Su Zhan, she had exhausted herself trying to please everyone in the Su family.
She had even shown great respect to Su Qing, this sister who had always looked down on her.
Yet, in return, she received nothing but framing and schemes.
Given a second chance, she would never allow herself to fall into such a desperate situation again.
Of course, she would no longer beg Su Zhan to seek justice for her.
After all, in his eyes, Su Qing was his sister, while she was merely an outsider.
"Could a weak woman like A Qing, who has long lived in seclusion, possibly drug you?"
"Xue Ning, if you're going to lie, at least have some limits!"
"You have a history of wrongdoing. How can A Qing, gentle and innocent, be compared to you?"
Those cold, mocking words from the man in her past life still lingered in her memory.
Every word, every sentence, was like a sharp knife, piercing her heart.
Xue Ning closed her eyes, forcing back the tears she had been holding back.
"Just wait a little longer—"
No matter how gentle her nature, she would repay every grievance.
…
Late at night.
Xue Ning was still kneeling before the memorial tablets of Mr. and Mrs. Xue.
Nanny Hao had come to check on her several times, urging her to return and rest earlier.
Xue Ning stubbornly refused. Nanny Hao narrowed her old eyes almost imperceptibly and said, "Then this old servant will keep watch with Young Miss."
Xue Ning gave a faint "Mm" in response and continued guarding the tablets of her parents and elder brother.
As the faint glow of dawn began to appear in the sky, the eternal lamps hanging in the side hall remained undisturbed in their places.
The morning bell of the temple rang, distant and lingering, as young monks began to move quietly through the temple.
The great fire from her past life had ultimately not broken out.
Gazing at the intact memorial tablets of her parents and brother, Xue Ning finally breathed a sigh of relief.
She reached out to support herself on Bao Chan's arm, her legs trembling slightly from having knelt until they were numb.
Seeing this, Nanny Hao also hurriedly stepped forward to assist. Xue Ning subtly sized her up a few times and said, "Nanny Hao, I am utterly exhausted today and will likely need to rest at the temple for half a day before we can set off back to Dongjing. I must trouble you to wait for me another half day."
Xue Ning had always been courteous to her servants, and other servants would take advantage of her.
But Nanny Hao would not. She smiled and said, "Your health is most important, miss. This old servant will wait."
Xue Ning nodded and allowed Bao Chan and Nanny Hao to escort her back to the meditation room.
Afterward, she claimed exhaustion, removed her outer robe, and lay down on the bed to rest.
Before falling asleep, Nanny Hao brought in a cup of warm water and helped Xue Ning drink it.
Xue Ning took a small sip, and only then did Nanny Hao smile and say, "Then rest well, miss. This old servant will keep watch in the outer room."
Xue Ning waved her hand, signaling for her to leave first.
…