In an instant, Wenren Yan’s words echoed in Xi Yu’s ears: “You are doing this for him.”
Xi Yu glanced at Fuying. Those round, bright eyes were clearly large, yet also remarkably small, so small that they seemed capable of holding only a single person.
And he did not belong here.
He would be leaving soon after completing his mission.
Xi Yu closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he purposefully avoided Fuying’s gaze, picked up his chopsticks once more, and selected a dish from the right side of the table.
Ji Qingzhou beamed with delight. The general had chosen the dish he made; naturally, after all these years, he understood the general’s palate best.
Fuying lowered his head, casting a slightly desolate glance at the floor. A scene remarkably like this seemed to have happened in his memories before.
It seemed that Xi Yu never chose him.
Yet by the time he raised his head again, Fuying had already regained his composure, even curving the corners of his mouth into a smile to pretend he had not been hurt.
However, Xi Yu never touched the dish Fuying had made, not even taking a single bite.
Fuying felt deeply aggrieved.
Seeing Fuying’s sorrow, Xi Yu felt a pang of sorrow as well, but wasn’t this what he ought to do?
Although they had deliberately refrained from labeling whose hands had prepared which dish, for someone as observant as Xi Yu, distinguishing between the two culinary styles was hardly difficult.
The choice of ingredients alone revealed a stark difference. Having spent his life moving among military ranks, Ji Qingzhou naturally selected the cuts of meat commonly used in army camps.
As for Fuying, having grown up in the palace without ever performing rough labor, he could not handle complex ingredients like meat; his natural choice had been delicate pastries.
Xi Yu analyzed the situation thoroughly in a flash, yet clever people were the last ones who should allow personal bias to take root.
“General, it seems your appetite is wonderful today,” Ji Qingzhou said happily.
Yet Xi Yu found every morsel of food he placed in his mouth somewhat bitter. He avoided Fuying’s gaze, the look of one who was pretending nothing was amiss.
As soon as Ji Qingzhou stepped outside, he was startled by Fuying, who was standing quietly in the corner as if waiting specifically for him.
Ji Qingzhou braced himself, terrified that Fuying might lash out or try to start a fight due to losing the culinary competition. Although he knew Fuying could never defeat him in a physical contest, Fuying was still an imperial prince, and hitting him was entirely out of the question.
Yet when Fuying raised his head, his opening words were simply, “Can you teach me?”
Ji Qingzhou was somewhat bewildered. Teach him what?
Under normal circumstances, asking for guidance from the very person who had just defeated you would feel mortifying. However, while Fuying’s faculties were impaired, that impairment had its advantages.
He felt not a shred of awkwardness; he only noticed that Xi Yu had spent the entire meal tasting Ji Qingzhou’s dishes, leading him to conclude that Ji Qingzhou possessed superior culinary skills and understood Xi Yu better.
He wanted to be like Ji Qingzhou, capable of taking good care of Xi Yu and bringing a smile to Big Brother Xi Yu’s face.
Thus, his sole purpose in intercepting Ji Qingzhou here was precisely this.
Upon hearing his intentions, Ji Qingzhou stood frozen for a moment before looking at Fuying with a complex expression.
He knew full well that agreeing to teach Fuying carried the risk of the student surpassing the master to the teacher’s detriment. Compared to the pampered and carefree Fuying, he was the one who truly needed to stay by the general’s side.
Yet, meeting such an extraordinarily pure pair of eyes, Ji Qingzhou found it exceedingly difficult to refuse.
In Fuying, he seemed to see a reflection of himself. The way Fuying looked at Xi Yu made him feel as though he were staring into a mirror.
What was more, Fuying’s emotional investment might even surpass his own. As an imperial prince who could have anything he desired, Fuying was nonetheless willing to roll up his sleeves and cook for the general.
Ji Qingzhou suddenly felt that he had likely lost; Fuying was perhaps the true victor, winning through sheer purity and courage.
While he harbored too many hesitations and calculations, rendering his unvoiced feelings vastly dimmed by comparison.
“Alright, I will teach you.” Ji Qingzhou was not yielding to Fuying; rather, he was yielding to himself, having never possessed the luxury of free choice.
His feelings, much like the man himself, were far too accustomed to forbearance, to the point where they had perhaps long since become unpresentable.
Xi Yu sat in his room and let out a deep sigh. “System, are you there? I have a lingering feeling that I have steered the plot off course.”
This was the first time the system had encountered such a perplexed host, and it timely assumed the role of a confidant. “Host, you might view this transmigration as a game level that must be cleared, but you are truly and genuinely living within this world. Developing corresponding emotions as a result of these authentic experiences is naturally unavoidable.”
The system looked at Xi Yu with a gentle gaze, offering reassurance. “Host, perhaps you do not need to resist it so stubbornly. Just let things develop naturally.”
Xi Yu shook his head. “Ultimately, I will not stay here; I have to leave. Giving someone hope only to dash it later is far too cruel.”
Just as the system was about to reply, a loud crash echoed from outside, causing Xi Yu to spring to his feet.
Stepping outside, he discovered the noise came from the kitchen. Who could possibly be there at such an hour?
Guided by the moonlight, Xi Yu walked over to investigate and spotted a small, charcoal-blackened pastry ball. The only features standing out in the moonlight were a pair of doe-like eyes shining with exceptional brilliance, and it was Fuying.
“Big Brother Xi Yu… why are you here?” Fuying had completely wrecked the kitchen while hoping to impress Xi Yu, yet now he had only managed to reveal his clumsy side once again, leaving him rather nervous.
“With a crash that loud, it would be difficult not to come over,” Xi Yu said, simply gazing at him.
Seeing that expression, Fuying instinctively wanted to apologize, but then he remembered that Xi Yu detested hearing him say sorry. Consequently, he froze in place, utterly at a loss for how to react.
He seemed to have messed up again.
“Tell me why you are in the kitchen at this hour. Are you hungry?” Xi Yu asked.
Fuying shook his head. Having been put through Xi Yu’s training sessions, he was always exceptionally honest in front of Xi Yu and would never conceal anything from him.
“I was practicing my cooking skills, Big Brother Xi Yu. I wanted to make dishes that you would enjoy, and I wanted you to see that I am not just someone who needs your protection, but someone who can be useful to you as well.”
Xi Yu’s heart softened instantly, yet he could offer no response.
“Fuying, you do not need to do these things for me,” Xi Yu told him. Perhaps due to the dim moonlight, which obscured each other’s facial expressions, even his tone became difficult to decipher.
It was hard to tell whether it carried heartache or resistance.
“Big Brother Xi Yu, is it because you think Fuying is foolish? Is that why you will not let me do these things for you?” Fuying looked both dejected and sorrowful, his bright, round doe eyes gradually dimming.
Reflexively, Xi Yu denied it. “How could that be? I have never thought of you as any different from others. If there is a difference, it is that you surpass them; your emotions are so pure, purely precious, possessing qualities that no one else can match.”
Yet Fuying still felt aggrieved. “Then, Big Brother Xi Yu, why do I feel that ever since we left the Cold Palace, you have been drifting further and further away from me?”
“Back in the Cold Palace, it was just the two of us. We shared the most intimate bond in this world. Even if there was only a single morsel of food, we split it between us without feeling sad. But now, Big Brother Xi Yu, I feel as though I can never get close to you again.”
Fuying’s words brought back memories of those early days in the Cold Palace. What had actually made him care for Fuying in the first place?
Perhaps it had started out as sympathy and guilt, but as time passed, it had transformed into something else.
Even if there was only a single steamed bun, Fuying would save it for him. Fuying’s entire world revolved around Xi Yu; when Xi Yu was happy, he was happy, and when Xi Yu was sad, he felt sorrow.
This feeling of being so completely cherished provided Xi Yu, who had always been the runner-up since childhood, with immense security, even making him feel as though he could completely possess something whole.
Because purity was often the most captivating thing of all.
Xi Yu knew Fuying was hurting. Fuying might not understand many things, nor could he fathom the deeper meanings behind Xi Yu’s words, yet he had keenly perceived Xi Yu’s deliberate detachment.
“Fuying, there are many things you do not yet know. If you knew them, you would no longer think of me this way; you would blame me instead.” Xi Yu felt a sudden impulse to spill everything.
If Fuying were to discover that the culprit responsible for his condition was none other than himself, Xi Yu dared not imagine how he would react.
He had resisted facing this truth all along, but right now, confronted with Fuying’s sincere feelings, he could not help wanting to reveal it, even though doing so would likely push Fuying away from him.
Yet he could not bear the thought of Fuying believing he was merely being cast aside for being clumsy.
“Big Brother Xi Yu, I know what you are talking about. It is about that time I fell into the water when I was a child, isn’t it? You and the Fifth Prince were both there. Ever since that fall, I ran a high fever and my mind became somewhat slow.”
Fuying spoke up abruptly. “Everyone else assumes I don’t remember any of it, but actually, I remember everything. Including the time you won the crown and gave the floral wreath to the Fifth Prince, and I remember it all.”
This time, the one who looked surprised was Xi Yu. “Then you know…”
That I was the one who pushed you into the water?
Fuying simply looked at him with steadfast eyes. “I know.”
“Then why don’t you blame me?” Xi Yu stepped back, a rare trace of bewilderment in his eyes.
“At first, I was afraid. Everyone said you were a gentleman, but I could not understand why you treated me that way.”
Fuying paused before continuing.
“Yet when we were in the Cold Palace, Big Brother Xi Yu, you were so wonderful, so wonderful that I could not bear to blame you. It was not just because you were good to me, making you the person who treated me best in this world besides my imperial mother, but also because you are inherently so good, so good that I could not help wanting to draw close to you.”
Xi Yu suddenly recalled those amber-colored eyes, the very eyes that had once supplied him with strength and comfort.
“Big Brother Xi Yu, what I feel for you is the same affection my imperial mother felt for my imperial father. Can you understand?” Fuying asked innocently.
With those words spoken, Xi Yu felt as though an arrow had pierced straight through his heart.