Alone in the Dorm Room
Shi Xu sat in his chair, bracing one hand on the desk as he watched Shen Yu with a smile. The dorm room was already tiny, and Shen Yu had nowhere to retreat beyond a single step. His head sank lower and lower.
So low that Shi Xu couldn’t make out even the slightest change in his expression.
He could tell Little Boss was nervous, but he couldn’t tell whether it was because of him or simply Shen Yu’s nature at this point.
He didn’t dare make a move.
Shen Yu didn’t dare move either. His head was bowed, but he could feel the other boy’s gaze fixed entirely on him.
He’d transferred nearly half a semester ago. Though they were in the same class, seated at the back in the same row, Shi Xu had never once looked him in the eye. Shen Yu was almost certain Shi Xu didn’t even know he existed.
At times, that had made him feel that growing his hair long and wearing those glasses had been pointless.
Shi Xu must have forgotten the disguise he’d so carefully put together.
It was better that he didn’t remember. That was what Shen Yu wanted. But when Shi Xu really didn’t remember, it still left him a little disappointed.
The long, uneven fringe fell over Shen Yu’s forehead as he lowered his head, hiding his whole face. Even his chin had disappeared from view.
It was enough to make Shi Xu, with his compulsive need for things to be in order, distinctly uncomfortable. He pushed off with his long legs, sliding his chair a step closer. The scrape of the wooden legs against the floor startled Shen Yu out of his panicked thoughts.
Before he could react, the boy’s fresh, youthful scent and the shadow falling over him left him rooted to the spot.
Shi Xu couldn’t help reaching out and brushing the hair off his forehead. “Let it grow a little longer and you could play Sadako.”
The door opened, then closed. Shi Xu was gone.
Shen Yu stood motionless in the dorm room for a long time. Eventually, he slowly lifted his head and looked at the hair Shi Xu had parted across his forehead. He put a hand to his chest as his heart began to pound wildly.
He was afraid of being alone with Shi Xu, yet desperately wanted some kind of connection with him. He’d kept his feelings secret, always cautious and uneasy, never imagining something like this could happen.
Shi Xu walked toward his dorm room with one hand in his pocket, slowly rubbing his thumb over the tips of his other four fingers. The adult Shen Yu he’d known had always kept his hair short, neat and sharp, every detail immaculate. He’d been so cool and severe.
He hadn’t expected Shen Yu’s hair to be so soft.
And he hadn’t expected Little Boss to be so cute.
For that brief moment, when Shen Yu had looked up at him, his eyes had widened in surprise, and a blush had spread visibly across his face. He’d quickly lowered his head to hide it, but Shi Xu, who had been watching for it, had seen everything.
Unless he was being too full of himself and reading it wrong, Little Boss liked him.
As for why… he had no idea.
Backlit, the boy walked toward his dorm. He’d died once and returned to senior year, a time he’d never particularly wanted to relive. Yet because of one person, a smile suddenly curled across his lips.
*
Senior year was a tense, exhausting sprint toward the finish line.
But for Shi Xu, reborn into his younger self, nothing was more interesting than figuring out Little Boss.
Whenever he thought of what he’d seen before he died, warmth seemed to seep out from between his bones. That was why, when he looked at Little Boss, he felt as if they were already close.
Familiar and dear. He was always looking for an excuse to get closer.
The moment the bell rang, Shi Xu was ready to go over. Shen Yu, who’d been distracted by Shi Xu’s reflection in his pencil case, immediately tensed up.
Shi Xu had only taken a few steps when a boy suddenly cut him off. “Shi Xu, Director Liu wants you to come by.”
It was a class officer. Shi Xu gave a brief “Sure” and headed to the office.
He’d pieced together the timeline after coming back. It was the first semester of senior year, and more than a month had passed. Apart from studying and doing practice papers, there wasn’t much going on. But none of that was a problem for him.
Because he didn’t study at all.
Luckily, at this point his persona was that of a rich second-generation kid who was a good-for-nothing. If he’d been a top student, he’d have had to bury himself in textbooks and take the gaokao all over again. How cruel would that be?
To a kid who hated studying this much.
Heh.
Thinking about it, Shi Xu curled one corner of his mouth in a self-mocking smile. He could guess what Director Liu wanted.
He walked from the teaching building toward the teachers’ building, drawing countless glances from every direction along the way. Back when he was in school, he’d hated the way girls looked at him. He’d wanted to pluck every pair of eyes glued to him right out of their sockets.
Now, he didn’t mind. He was used to it.
The fans he’d had in his previous life were much more open about it. They showed up for every event and made him feel like a huge star.
He was grateful to the fans who supported him through thick and thin, even though he might never meet them in person. So now, when he saw these girls looking at him, he felt downright fond of them.
He looked up at a few of the girls watching him and smiled.
“Ahhh!” This time, no one even tried to keep it down. A burst of shrieks rang out from the crowd.
“Shi Xu smiled! He actually smiled! He smiled at me! Ahhhhh!”
“I saw it too! He’s so handsome, oh my god, my heart’s melting!”
“Is this real? Shi Xu smiled!”
“…”
Shi Xu immediately shut his mouth.
Right. He’d forgotten that his persona at this point was an aloof, melodramatic teenager who never smiled.
Fine.
With a cold expression, he headed toward the teachers’ building. He remembered this route pretty well. Whenever they wanted to get in touch with him, it was always through that distant relative who was connected to the school.
When Liu Yuanda saw Shi Xu come in, he stood up with a beaming smile. “Come on, sit down, Xiao Xu.”
If Shi Xu had been in his current frame of mind, he’d have sat down with a smile and chatted awhile. Watching this supposedly distant relative suck up to him had its own entertainment value.
But things were different now. He couldn’t break character. Frowning impatiently, he ignored the invitation. “If you have something to say, just say it.”
Though Liu Yuanda was both a teacher and an elder, Shi Xu’s attitude didn’t faze him at all. He was used to Shi Xu’s laziness and disrespect for teachers, and they were alone in the office anyway. He turned away and pursed his lips, his eyes full of disdain.
Then he picked up a very large package. When he looked back at Shi Xu, his smile was warm and ingratiating as ever. “Your mom sent this from overseas. It wouldn’t be safe left in the reception room, so your uncle brought it to the office for you.”
“And if you’re short of anything at school, or have any problems, just let your uncle know.”
Liu Yuanda said it casually. He always made a token effort to sound helpful when passing things along, and he hadn’t expected an answer this time.
“Tell her to stop sending me this useless junk. Just looking at it annoys me.”
Shi Xu glanced at the package. He remembered exactly what was inside.
He gave a derisive snort and turned to leave.
This time, he wasn’t keeping up his persona. He was genuinely annoyed.
*
After leaving the office, Shi Xu didn’t hurry back to class. He wandered around campus at a leisurely pace, then ended up at the basketball court.
Returning to school didn’t stir up any nostalgia in him. If anything, he resented those years. As he remembered them, he hadn’t studied or taken part in school activities. He’d either slept at night or slept through class, and barely interacted with his classmates. Aside from a few familiar faces, he couldn’t remember most of them.
Looking back, he’d been immature. But as a minor, that had been the only way he knew how to fight back.
It was wrong, but he hadn’t had a choice.
If Shen Yu hadn’t been here this time, he would’ve left on the very first day.
Shen Yu…
At the thought of him, Shi Xu’s eyes lit up. But he had to take things slowly. He was afraid that if he got too forward, he’d scare Little Boss. At this point, he worried that if he showed the boy any more warmth, he’d make him cry.
As he walked, Shi Xu let his imagination run wild. By the end, he’d pictured Little Boss so overwhelmed by his enthusiasm that his face, ears, and eyes all turned red, his eyes brimming with tears as he panicked and nearly burst into tears. It was kind of funny.
Shi Xu couldn’t help laughing out loud.
“Brother Xu!”
At the sound of his name, Shi Xu immediately wiped the smile from his face and turned around with a cold expression.
Someone at the basketball court was leaning over the fence, calling to him. “Brother Xu! Skipping class? Come on, let’s play!”
Shi Xu had finally learned this guy’s name: Gao Zan. He remembered him. Not only was he shameless, he was the one person who’d come right up to Shi Xu even when he was scowling, getting braver the more he was rebuffed.
“Shi Xu? Why would a rich young master like him play basketball with us?”
Someone inside said, then another muttered under his breath, “Can he even play?”
“Of course he can!” Gao Zan shot back, turning around. “Brother Xu used to be an all-around athlete at our school. He’d beat you so badly you’d cry!”
Someone curled his lip, clearly unconvinced.
Others shot Gao Zan scornful looks. They wouldn’t say it to his face, but they had plenty to mutter behind his back. Gao Zan came from a rich family and liked to look down on people, but next to Shi Xu’s family background, he didn’t amount to much.
So everyone thought Gao Zan was sucking up to Shi Xu in the hope of making connections.
Gao Zan leaned on the fence and looked at Shi Xu expectantly. Shi Xu glanced at him, then walked away.
He hadn’t thought much of Gao Zan before, but since his rebirth, he’d taken a strong dislike to him.
Because Gao Zan had bullied Little Boss.
Little Boss was his…
His…
Shi Xu’s mind suddenly went blank. What was Shen Yu to him? The benefactor who’d righted his wrongs and avenged him? Someone who might or might not have had a crush on him? The person who’d stolen his first kiss?
At that last thought, Shi Xu curled a finger against his lips. A faint blush touched his cheeks.
He turned and headed back to class.