But as Lyle kept digging into wounds Haejin had barely managed to suppress with harsh words, Haejin found himself forced to ask.
Were the servants’ actions truly not Lyle’s responsibility?
“The way I’ve been treated in this estate… was that directly ordered by you to the butler?”
“…What an obvious question.”
Haejin had no intention of retracing that miserable path with his own mouth. Even if he listed everything now, would Lyle believe him? He had already dismissed the fact that Haejin had never sold any of his clothes.
Still, if Lyle had even a fragment of will to understand, he might at least reconsider at this question. If he had any intention of reflecting on Haejin’s grievances.
Yet as he spoke, Haejin found himself extinguishing his own expectations. From the beginning, why would Lyle ever dig into the past to understand him?
“The way I lived for the past five years as well.”
“Yes.”
“I see.”
The voice that answered, then that’s how it is, faded as though dissolving into empty air.
After saying something so out of place, Haejin quietly turned his gaze back to the window. The pheromones of rejection that had filled the air moments ago sank down as if they had never existed.
Yet breathing in the now-settled air of the car, Lyle felt even more suffocated. This absence of presence built an even thicker wall between them.
What is wrong with him all of a sudden.
Just then, the car pulled up in front of the hospital. Only after the driver calmly announced their arrival did Lyle return to himself. His increasingly irrational behavior made him feel as though something in his head had malfunctioned.
Outside, a security guard—contacted in advance by the secretary—was waiting for Haejin. Once the hospital business was concluded, he would escort him back to the estate.
And yet Lyle found himself gripping Haejin’s arm again as he opened the car door and stepped out expressionlessly.
“Don’t try anything foolish.”
“…”
Haejin’s gaze dropped to the hand holding his arm, then shifted to the guard outside. As if Lyle wanted him to see the arrangements made for him.
Only after confirming that did Lyle release him. Without a word of greeting, Haejin stepped out and headed toward the hospital.
Lyle watched his retreating figure as if spellbound. Haejin’s gait was awkward. The hem of his trousers still exposed his ankles to the biting wind.
Like that uneven stride, something felt misaligned to Lyle. He shouldn’t have any reason to sell clothes anymore. Wasn’t something strange?
Haejin never looked back. And suddenly, Lyle felt his tie tighten around his throat.
Strange.
***
“I’m telling you, he was deliberately dragging his feet.”
“Why?”
“How did he even know the master was heading out to work? Struggling just to run into him.”
“Disgusting. Is he that desperate for money?”
Harsh words were exchanged beneath peals of laughter. The servants’ conversation carried far too clearly from the inner courtyard of the main building. Did they truly not know that Haejin’s room was directly above?
“He even ended up riding in the master’s car. He quit so suddenly—what face does he have to come crawling back? Maybe he’s aiming for something bigger. A Recessive, no less.”
“Unbelievable.”
It was a pointless assumption. Even if Haejin stuck his head out now, it was doubtful they would stop.
Lying limp on the bed, listening to it all, Haejin simply turned over. The faint glimpse of the outside view disappeared, replaced by the bleak interior of the room.
Even the faint anger he had felt days ago in the car with Lyle had long since vanished. Ever since hearing the results of that examination, he had found it difficult to gather any strength.
“At this rate, you may never walk properly again. You’ll need to be careful.”
Perhaps because he had wandered aimlessly and neglected care. The doctor had glanced once at the guard standing behind him and said there were issues found in his ankle.
After the accident, he should have undergone consistent physical therapy following surgery. Instead, Haejin had wandered around on crutches, borrowing money to try to save his parents. Naturally, his leg had come last.
He had thought it couldn’t be helped. But hearing the diagnosis made everything sink heavily into the ground. Trouble with his leg at such a young age. It was no different from being told he could no longer survive through labor.
As a result, Haejin returned from the hospital with only a deepened aversion toward it. Being escorted back to the estate under the guard’s watch almost felt preferable. The moment he stepped out of the hospital and smelled that sterile air, he truly felt as though his leg might fall off.
Without his family, it was hard to shake the feeling that he was utterly worthless. He had been an orphan to begin with. It was his family who had given him value. His parents had always sternly scolded him whenever he thought that way, telling him he was someone who shone on his own.
But those parents were gone now.
In the end, it was a loop. At some point, excessive depression had wrapped around him. He knew these were irrational sentiments. But that was all. He had no will to pull himself out of it.
The sound of a tray being rolled up to the door echoed faintly. It must be dinner time.
After the butler left, scattering pheromones steeped in anger, a tray was always placed carelessly outside Haejin’s door.
At the rough thud of the tray hitting the floor, Haejin lifted his gaze weakly. If he didn’t retrieve it quickly, the food would disappear again.
“…”
Today in particular, he found it difficult to rise and missed the meal time. Based on long experience, he was certain the food had already been taken away. He didn’t even open the door.
Since returning from the hospital, his waking time had grown later by the day, eventually slipping into late afternoon. He had woken past lunchtime entirely. The bed felt like quicksand, pulling him under. The overcast sky made it impossible to tell whether it was morning or afternoon; for a moment he almost mistook it for dawn.
He’s weak because he’s hungry. That was the rational conclusion. But his body refused to follow logic. As though it knew his thoughts were as fleeting as rainwater running off.
His stomach felt hollow, as if a massive hole had opened inside it. Yet he had no appetite at all, leaving a strange twist within him.
Observing that heavy mood from a distance, Haejin slowly closed his eyes.
Strangely, no matter how much he slept, he remained sleepy.
***
“Then I’ll come to escort you tomorrow.”
After work, Lyle nodded and stepped out of the car. It had been an ordinary day. He was still busy. Relatives still searched for openings. Society continued to demand heavy responsibility from him.
And Haejin had been quiet.
There had been one change in Lyle recently. He found himself thinking of Haejin from time to time. Mostly with irritation. More often than not, he forcibly pushed away the face that surfaced like an afterimage. And he no longer dreamed.
Overall, it wasn’t a bad situation, Lyle thought. His head was growing heavy again, signaling that he would soon need pheromone discharge.
At least, that was what he thought until he encountered a servant clearing trays in the main building at this late hour.
“You.”
“Yes, sir.”
“What is that?”
“Ah… I’m clearing it from Mr. Bright’s room.”
There were only two people in the main building who would be eating: Haejin and himself. So naturally, seeing a tray made him think of Haejin.
But the timing of the clearing bothered him.
Lyle strode up to the tray the servant was holding and lifted the lid without hesitation.
Under the bright corridor lights, untouched dishes were revealed.
“This was sent to Jin?”
“Yes, sir.”
The servant bowed quickly. No matter how he looked at it, there was nothing inedible about the food. The plating even appeared thoughtful. From Lyle’s perspective, there was nothing to fault.
And yet he had skipped it.
Setting down what he had been holding, Lyle changed direction. Not toward his own room as usual, but toward where Haejin was staying.
His footsteps echoed slowly down the corridor, irritation building with each step. Was this because he had spoken harshly in the car? If this was a ploy to attract his attention, it had worked. Lyle found himself unable to endure without seeing Haejin’s face and saying something.
But upon reaching Haejin’s room with a moderately sour mood, his expression twisted sharply.
Two more trays from the morning were stacked outside the door.
It meant he had eaten nothing all day.
The moment that realization struck, Lyle felt a surge of anger he could not contain. The image of Haejin’s thin ankles, bones knocking together with each step, surfaced unbidden in his mind.
He passed through the sitting room and knocked harshly on the bedroom door. There was no response from inside. Just as he suspected—he must have refused the servants the same way.
“Jin, open the door.”
Only after he spoke did a faint sound come from within. The sound of dragging steps. Then a soft click as the door unlocked. From the noise alone, it was clear it had been locked.
“…Mr. Vermouth.”
“I told you to manage your body properly. What do you think you’re doing?”