“Pamelaaaaa, I’m hungry,” Candy whined.
“Yeah, so am I,” I replied flatly, taking in the scenery. Appleby wasn’t really Medieval; it certainly wasn’t Renaissance. It was definitely vaguely European. Honestly, it was a vibe I was weirdly familiar with from media. That didn’t stop the fact that I was really standing in this place. People bustled about, a whole herd of sheep wandered by, and a gaggle of children were playing some kind of game with a ball.
Major culture shock. Wow.
Man, was I glad not to have wandered here naked. Shout out to goblins, they were awesome. And so were mercenaries. Really, everyone had been so far. It wasn’t quite enough to make up for my abysmal luck, but… I was trying to be optimistic.
“Why don't you get food then? Then we can both stop being hungry,” Candy continued.
“I have actually considered that,” I sighed, rubbing my temples. “But I have no money, and I can’t just steal food without causing more problems. So until I figure something out, you’ll just have to be hungry and useless.”
“Meanie,” Candy grumbled. “It’s like you want me to eat your organs.”
I blew out a breath. “Okay, tell me then. Where can I get food?”
“Everywhere, look how many people there are! So much mana,” she sighed wistfully. “And the dastardly slime killers are gone, now's our chance!”
“To… eat the people?” I frowned. This was just… stupid. “Candy, just… consider the logistics of that. Even if my strength wasn’t 9, I still wouldn’t do that because they’re people. I’ve literally never killed anything before, and I’m not sure I even could. And if I somehow miraculously did, all of the other people would turn around and promptly kill me. Which means, you would also die.”
Okay, so I looked a little odd, muttering to myself. I cleared my throat and kept walking before anyone gave me more than a look.
“Ugh, okay, it was just an idea. You come up with something then,” Candy scoffed.
“That's what I’m trying to do. You’ll just need to be patient,” I muttered, ducking around a corner. “You know it would be a lot easier if you weren't leeching all my experience,” I couldn't help but add.
“You're so selfish, you know that? Wah wah wah, my experience, my organs,” Candy mocked. “You’re lucky I need your title, or I would have eaten you all up by now.”
I ground my teeth. She was actually maddening. My anger simmered as I forced myself not to begin a yelling match with myself in public.
“So far, you’ve not pulled an ounce of your weight. Not only are you useless, but you have literally made my life significantly harder from the moment I came to this stupid world. If it wasn’t for me, you’d still be that weak little pink slime hopping through the forest and unable to even access the damn system,” I spat out under my breath.
“What, like I’m supposed to care? You’re just a host, don’t expect me to bend over backwards because your life isn’t easy. You’re only still alive because you make mine easier,” Candy snapped right back.
I stomped down the street, refusing to further engage. I was trying to be diplomatic, I really was. But Candy didn’t care about me. Despite a few humorous moments, I couldn't lose sight of that. She wasn’t evil, but she was alien. She might have sounded hauntingly similar to my own internal voice, but she couldn’t have been more different.
Candy was utterly self-centred and thoughtless. It was just what happened when you took an entirely inhuman view of the world and slapped it on a human adjacent personality.
She had to go. And she severely underestimated my ability to hurt her. After all, I had no stakes in any of this. It was Candy who had purposes. That was her weakness. I didn’t exactly want to resort to also holding myself hostage, but I had quite literally spent all of last night preparing to die, and a big muddle finger to Candy wouldn’t be a bad way to go out, all things considered.
The fantasies were satisfying if a touch absurd. With an angry walk about the village, my anger faded.
It wasn’t really Candy’s fault. She had been a simple creature. The magical equivalent of mould that was now smushed into the mind of a person and forced to cooperate with one for her own survival. I didn’t know what to make of any of this, and I had 26 years to figure out how to handle emotions and desires.
Candy was like a newborn foal trying to run, but in this case, run meant figuring out the theory of mind.
I still wanted her gone. Obviously. But at the very least, I could try to teach her how to be a person. After all, whatever kind of slime she was would undoubtedly be a nightmare threat eventually. If I could somehow put her on a better path, I would be doing the world a tremendous favour.
Not that the world would thank me, given that… if you squinted and looked at all of this in a certain light, maybe wishing for a ton of power when I had no idea how to use it or concepts of potential ramifications was a slight oversight on my part.
I sighed and wandered towards the stables. At the very least, I might be able to find some straw to sleep in. Better to case the joint while it was still light out. Then I would have a backup option just in case.
Plus… Candy would probably be furious. She could throw a temper all she wanted. It wouldn’t magically fix our situation. That would require some cooperation. I just had to pray she had an ounce of critical thought in that slimy core of hers.
The stables smelled gross before I even piled my head inside. So sleeping in there was an almost definite no-no.
There was a boy tossing hay to a few horses in stalls as I casually walked by. Maybe I should have checked what exactly Candy could eat, because absorbing energy from me was definitely far less efficient than how slimes ate normally. I assumed they absorbed stuff into their bodies and somehow broke it down. But given my building resentment, I didn’t exactly feel like going out of my way to find her something she could consume. Though… if she were hungry enough, would she leave my body for food?
No. No, she would just start eating me.
So the stables weren’t a great option. I could go knocking door by door to see if anyone would let me stay the night in return for… labour? Unfortunately, I was probably the worst person to hire to do anything in this world. I could try the Hissing Rose, maybe I could skip out before I had to pay my tab, that might get me a solid meal at least. My stomach growled at the premise.
I could plunder an apple orchard…
How many apples did I have to eat for it to count as a meal?
Or I could just go meet up with the Tavern Crew. They’d probably buy me a nice warm dinner if I asked nicely. I kept returning to my status, again and again. Literally nothing had changed beyond [Telepathic Link] being listed.
Status
Name: Pamela Bishop
Race: Human
Class: ~None~
Profession: Slime Host
Health Points (HP): 00,012
Mana Points (MP): 00,001
Stamina Points (SP): 00,005
Stats
Strength: 0009
Agility: 0010
Endurance: 0010
Vitality: 0009
Wisdom: 0015
Intelligence: 0015
Perception: 0013
Willpower: 0016
Titles: [Protagonist's Progression], [Absolute Parasitization]
Race Skills: [Language Common], [Analysis]
Professional Skills: [Telepathic Link]
It felt so… wrong. This wasn’t how all of this had been supposed to go. I was just as useless as Candy, except for the fact that my existence was slowly levelling her up. This wasn’t a problem I could solve myself. It didn’t matter how much I ran through variables a thousand times. I couldn’t rely on some big number or skill to get me out of problems.
I had to do what humans had always done, the very thing that had allowed us to become so prevalent on Earth: ask for help. It was a silly notion; I was in a world with a video game system where I could become unbelievably powerful. Yet communication and mobilizing the labour of others was still the most powerful thing of all.
The power of friendship!
Okay, I was getting a little carried away, but the point still stood. I could rough it on my own, or I could just ask for help.
I headed for the tavern.