I was immediately somewhat confused upon finding the Hissing Rose, which was right along the main road. It wasn’t really a tavern. Despite the evening hour, it was calm, sure, there were people, but… this wasn’t what I expected at all. I entered, offering a smile to the face that looked up. It was shockingly calm.
There was no bar. No rowdy patrons, no musicians playing music. There were a few tables with patrons quietly chatting, but… I felt generally very confused. This wasn’t what I had pictured in my head at all.
“Hey, Pamela.” I turned to see Martrix giving me a little wave from the table in the corner where she sat with her companions.
“Hi,” I smiled, walking over awkwardly.
Kimrel shooed Petven over to make room for me to sit. The giant dragonborn wasn’t wearing armour anymore; none of them were. They were in casual attire, still far better dressed than my ratty clothes, but comfortable nonetheless. I sat beside Kimrel on the bench, trying to settle in. Mostly, I just felt awkward.
Major fucking culture shock.
“How’d the search for work go?” Martrix smiled.
A casual, unintrusive answer that still made me internally cringe. “Uh.. no luck. But it was nice to go on a walk,” I added. “Sightseeing a bit.”
Martrix chuckled, but again gave me that funny look. Right… I rolled out my neck. The paranoia was back.
“So...” I cleared my throat. “Whatcha drinking?”
“Tisanes,” Kimrel grumbled, “the brewster’s not been in with ale yet. And they don’t got any wine.”
“They have tea?” I perked up. God, I would kill for some tea or a coffee. Oh my god, coffee. If only. “I… I don’t suppose any of you could spare a few coins? I uh… It's been a rough few days.” I was begging pathetically, but I hoped it sounded convincing. Or had I already said the rough few days thing? Fuck I couldn’t remember. “I haven't eaten a decent meal in like two days,” I grumbled. At least that was the truth.
“Apple picking not working so well?” Petven asked with that same sly smile. “Could we get another teasaine for our friend here?” he added, waving to a passing barmaid.
I shrugged noncommittally. “There was a lot less apple picking and a lot more running away from monsters and getting lost in the woods.”
“Yes, you were quite hurt,” Frida spoke up quietly.
“Well… I’m feeling much better now, thanks to you,” I beamed, though my face felt too wide. I hadn’t seen my reflection in what felt like an eternity. I was still undoubtedly covered in some mud despite my best attempts otherwise.
“Here you go,” the barmaid said, putting a mug in front of me.
“Thanks,” I breathed with relief, picking it up. Tea. Oh, how I had missed tea.
It was cold. Just the scent alone sent me spluttering. That was not tea. I almost demanded to know what this was. But I was supposed to know. And I did, just, apparently, a tisane and tea were very different things. I used [Analysis].
A sweet tisane.
An infusion made with boiled barley, licorice root, and figs.
That sounded… horrible. What even was barley? Why was it cold? There was a lump of what looked like sugar in it. Well… I was thirsty. I wasn’t going to… not drink it. Giving everyone a hopefully less nervous smile, I took a sip.
I smacked my lips in consideration. It wasn’t bad… just… not like anything I had ever tasted before. The licorice and fig didn’t really come through, so it was kinda just… musky water with a whiff of the milk after you’ve eaten a bowl of Raisin Bran. Huh… okay, sure.
“Thoughts?” Martrix asked.
“Uh… good,” I nodded.
“I got you some loseyns too,” Petven reassured. “Don’t worry about it. Happy to help.”
“Some… Amazing, thank you guys so much,” I continued to smile, having no idea what would be brought to me. What was a loseyns?
Hold on, [Analysis] had actually told me stuff. Holy shit! It had actually been useful. Without it, I wouldn’t have known about the licorice or fig in the drink, or the barley, whatever exactly that was. I was pretty sure it was a grain? Could I analyze a concept in my head?
No, it didn’t seem like it. Okay well… I was still getting better with the skill, or the skill liked me more now? I analyzed [Analysis].
[Analysis]
A skill powered by celestial flying monkeys to answer user queries.
If you have any issues, please contact our support team.
Hold on… what? I didn’t even know what to make of that. Was I being fucked with? Was Candy doing something? That wasn’t even a description of [Analysis], it was a lore drop combined with a website's terms of service. What the actual fuck.
“And your loseyns,” the barmaid added, having returned with a bowl which she set in front of me.
“Thanks,” I mumbled weakly. I was already getting a headache.
A loseyns, as it turned out, was kinda like a primitive lasagna. A noodle-like tortilla thing with alternating layers of something vaguely cottage cheese and some kind of spiced flavoured sugar. It was weird, it was a flavour profile I had never experienced before, but… well, it wasn’t bad. And even if it had been, I was hungry enough not to care.
“Good?” Martrix asked again.
“Uh, yeah, it's good. What's the spicy sugar thing?” I asked and immediately kicked myself. In my defence, I was starved, exhausted, and horribly overwhelmed.
“Sweet power,” she offered. “Probably sugar, nutmeg, cloves, cinnamon,” she shrugged as if my question hadn’t been the equivalent of asking what pizza was.
“You don’t need to panic,” Frida smiled kindly. “I’ve never met an outworlder before, but it’s not unheard of.”
Oh. Oh.
I nodded slowly. “Is it that obvious?” I grimaced.
“Apple season is in the autumn, you didn’t call me on that," Martrix supplied with a chuckle.
“And you kept staring at me like I had a second head,” Kimrel grinned.
“Sorry, that's… shitty of me,” I replied honestly. “I’ve never seen a dragonborn before. You’re very intimidating, and your scales are very shiny and… luminous.”
Kimrel laughed. “Well, I suppose I can forgive you if you keep showering me with praise.”
“Oh, stop, he’s vain enough,” Petven huffed, mock aghast.
“Says the elf,” Martrix muttered.
“Sorry, can’t hear you from all the way up here,” he grinned.
Martrix glared at him, good-naturedly.
I let out a sigh of relief. A weight finally off my shoulders. I scarfed the rest of my loseyns down with gusto, despite the awkwardness of using a spoon.
They knew, and they didn’t care. Thank fuck. I was tired of having to keep secrets, and this was mercifully one less.
I still felt famished; I had a feeling I knew why. I sipped my tisane before eventually caving and getting another plate. I was humiliated, but the Tavern Crew seemed largely amused by my antics.
“Do you really want to be a mercenary?” Martrix asked me.
The brewster had stumbled in a few minutes ago with a barrel, and now we all had a mug of ale. It was fairly low alcohol, kinda like beer but less sugary. It wasn’t bad, and I was still famished.
“I… I have no idea,” I answered honestly. “I’m just trying to… I don’t know. I’ve only just gotten here, and all I feel is exhausted.” I grimaced at the emotion that bubbled up.
Kimrel patted me on the back. “Oh, it's okay. Can’t imagine it’s easy getting adjusted and all. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”
I snorted. I really wasn’t trying to be. Luck just hadn’t been on my side so far.
“Okay, but I have to ask,” Petven grimaced around his mug. “Is it true outworlders get mythic skills?”
“Uhh, I don’t know,” I replied honestly. “I don’t know what a mythic skill is,” I added apologetically.
“Oh,” he muttered, squinting slightly. “You do have access to the system, though?”
“Yeah,” I nodded, happy to at least be able to answer one question.
“Anything… fancy?” he smiled brightly.
“You don’t have to answer that,” Martrix reassured me. “He’s just a nosey bastard.”
I chuckled. “No, nothing fancy. I don’t even have a class yet.”
[Protagonist’s Progression] was definitely fancy, but given that it was essentially cancelled out, it was an easy lie to roll off the tongue. And the best lies were always a little bit true. I still wasn’t going to mention Candy. One step at a time.
“Ah boo,” Petven sighed whistfully, taking a swig of ale.
I was still hungry. I ordered more food. Yeah, it was kinda shitty, I would need to somehow pay it back. But after everything that had happened, I was going to eat as much as I could stomach.
Candy has levelled up and gained five stat points to allocate.
Ah, mother fucker!