I had never slept more uncomfortably. Apparently, inns didn’t have rooms. They had a dormitory, which was honestly fine, that made sense. This wasn’t some grand swanky establishment. For only a few silver shillings, you got a spot in a bed. Not a bed to yourself, no, you had to share one of three massive beds with every other guest.
I didn’t uh… I didn’t want to do that.
Fortunately, the alternative was simply finding a spot on the floor of the common area. The Tavern Crew were happy to give me pennies for that and also loan me a blanket for the night.
It was a long, cold night, the floor was hard and sleeping with strangers around was deeply unnerving. I was used to privacy, and there was none to be found here. The whole inn had been shut down before it was even fully dark out. Then again, people came here to sleep; they wouldn’t be partying up late into the night.
On the plus side, I was finally full. And I had learned lots from my conversation with the mercenaries. I figured out how money worked here/ Tt was split into three denominations.
Copper pennies, silver shillings, and gold crowns. And given that a single gold crown could pay for rent for a few weeks, I probably wouldn't be seeing one of those any time soon.
I also learned the Tavern Crew was continuing north towards Agocester. Which was apparently a bigger mining city and also home to Castle Grosswin, home of the aforementioned Baron Grosswin. They invited me to continue on with them.
I had said I would give them an answer by morning, but the truth was, I was hesitant. It was nice to have friends, or well, friendly acquaintances. But Candy was… well, I didn’t really even know. She had been quiet since our little spat earlier, but I certainly didn’t forget she was there. Not when it had taken three plates of food to feel remotely satisfied. She was like a tape worm, a squishy, colourful evil tapeworm.
Did I want to be a mercenary?
No.
I didn’t want to risk my life in combat. War and violence were inextricably destructive to everyone involved. Even if I had power, I wasn’t going to be some hired thug to exact violence on behalf of a monarch of all things. Hell no.
So, what did I want to do then?
Candy was a pain in the ass. Maybe I should go to Agocester, find some fancy wizard doctor, and get her removed. She would probably be killed, but I could probably live with that. Just because I was lost and lonely in this world didn’t make her a friend. She was a parasite.
If she couldn’t cooperate, then she had to go. Even if she could, she was still literally a parasite wiggling around inside me. The image made me shudder.
Maybe Candy could be decent, but it wasn’t my job to make her decent. And even if she had been created through all the power that had been injected into me, that didn’t mean I had to hold onto something like her.
So then why did I hesitate?
I both pitied her and despised her. My headache had finally settled in.
“Pamela? Are you asleep?”
I jerked. Speak of the fucking devil. “What?” I begrudgingly replied, rolling over and bunching the blanket under me to cushion me better.
“Can you go ask the humans for more food? I’m still hungry,” she mumbled. It was still whiny, though without the intensity of earlier.
“Everyone is asleep,” I replied, trying to calm my exasperation. “If I wake them up, they will be angry with me.”
Oh,” Candy replied. “Can you go get the food yourself then?”
“No, Candy, I can’t,” I squeezed my eyes shut tight. Despite my growing frustration, I forced myself to breathe. She was just asking questions, trying to understand. And without narcissistic insults to boot. “I know slimes aren’t really a cooperative species, but humans are. If I want people to treat me well, then I need to treat them well. If I decide to steal food, then they might decide it’s okay to steal from me. Or they might be angry enough that I’ll be exiled or something, putting us back in the woods.”
“But if everyone is asleep, how will they know?” Candy pointed out, her whine returning slightly.
Well, that wasn’t a bad point. “Someone would be blamed, and it wouldn’t be fair for someone else to be punished. And if we were later found out, it would only be worse.”
Candy was quiet.
“I know it’s complicated, but that’s what being human is. But if you think about it, being kind and helpful, and liked will mean that people are willing to provide me with what I need. I could steal food now, but then in the morning, they might not give me any food because they will be angry with me. It’s not a matter of getting away with it, it’s a matter of building strong social relationships,” I explained, trying to keep it as simple as possible. “Does that make sense?”
“Not really,” Candy sighed.
I blew out a breath, trying to formulate the idea of kinship into something digestible for a slime. “Slimes are hive-based, right? There’s a rigid structure that emerged evolutionarily, with different slimes having different jobs to support the whole?”
“Yes, and I am at the top, hence why you should go get me food,” Candy replied.
That made me chuckle despite the stupidity. “Well, humans don’t work that way. We’re all empress slimes at the end of the day, even if we sometimes organize ourselves into a hierarchy. It’s all just… play a game, really, it can easily come crumbling down. The point is, we choose how to organize ourselves, but there is always a degree of collaboration because it is beneficial for us to work together.”
“Sounds exhausting,” Candy snorted.
“Yes, yes, it is. But we’ve gotten good at it as a species,” I smiled. “The point is, with the Taven Crew, for example, they have cared for me, provided me with food and lodging, trust has been established, and a relationship. I don’t necessarily need to pay them back perfectly, but it is reasonable for me to care for them in the future as they will continue to do so for me,” I paused, giving her a moment to take that all in as I rolled over on the floor.
“Say we’re in the woods and worried about being snuck up on by my monsters,” I continued. “We could both stay up protecting ourselves, or… they could sleep while I stand watch, and then I could sleep while they take over. We can work together for the benefit of both of us. Yeah?”
“Hmm,” was the only response I got.
“Things get increasingly more complicated very quickly, but the point is that we all help each other. The brewster brings ale for the inn and the inn returns the favour, maybe just with money but maybe something else,” I offered. God, I had missed tutoring. I had forgotten how much I liked teaching.
“What does any of this have to do with you getting me food?” Candy grumbled.
“Because the opposite is true. If people see us as untrustworthy, then this collaboration isn’t possible, and we are left to fend for ourselves. And I’m sure you can agree that neither slimes nor humans do too well all alone,” I concluded, rather proud of myself. I knew it was rather lecturey, but sometimes it had to be done. And maybe Candy would get something from it.
“But I’m still hungry,” she protested.
I sighed, or not. It had been worth a try. “Well, if you're that hungry, then you’re welcome to… leave me and go find food yourself. Because I will warn you, if you keep me up all night pestering, I will be far less inclined to help you tomorrow.”
“Because you will be angry with me?”
“Yes, Candy, if I don’t get to sleep, then I will be angry,” I sighed. It was basic, but… that was the level she was operating at. I had to go at her speed.
“So… if I let you sleep peacefully, then in the morning you will get me food in return?” Candy asked.
Okay, so she had skipped the goodwill portion and gone straight to impersonal bargaining. But given… everything that made sense. Still… it was actually a step in the right direction. It was… well, it was promising, at least a little.
“Yes,” I decided. “If you let me sleep until the morning, then I will get you food.”
“Hah, jokes on you, I was already planning to sleep,” Candy announced triumphantly.
“Yes, and I was going to eat breakfast anyway. So we both played each other masterfully,” I rolled my eyes through a yawn. “Now go to bed.”
“Oh, fine,” Candy grumbled. “But it better be a big breakfast.”