Initializing new user.
Title [Divine Customization] applied.
Title [Protagonist’s Progression] applied.
Generating Status Screen
12%... 37%... 69%... 98%... 100%
Ding!
Welcome Pamela Bishop
Oh fuck yeah. I was in a forest, a total classic. The trees were bright green, the sky a bright, beautiful baby blue. I took a deep inhale of crisp country air. It had finally happened, my dream had come true. I had been isekaied.
I spun around to get my bearings. More forest, a rock, ooooh, a pretty stream. I crouched down, feeling the cool water run through my hands as I took a sip.
Mercifully, I still had my clothes, sneakers, jeans, and a tank top. Fuck! I forgot to ask for cartoon proportions. Yeah, maybe it was a bit pervy, and definitely an internalization of unhealthy beauty standards, but a few pounds less and a few cup sizes more wouldn’t have hurt.
Ah well. I literally had magic wizard powers now. I had bigger and better things to focus on. There was probably some transmutation spell that could give me a rocking bod anyway.
I glanced around, suddenly realizing that I had no idea how to access the system. The words that had flickered through my consciousness had faded.
“Uh… hello?” I asked, feeling foolish. I rolled my eyes at myself. I needed to get my shit together. I knew what to do. I had watched a million characters do the same damn thing.
“Status!” I yelled proudly.
Nothing happened. Ah fuck. Okay, so it wasn’t that straightforward. That was fine… I could figure this out. Considering the words had been mental before, maybe…
I tried asking inside my own head.
Status?
Ding!
Fuck yeah, nailed it. Though why was it spelling out ding? Nevermind.
Status
Name: Pamela Bishop
Race: Human
Class: Grand Arch Wizard Mage
Profession: Expert Merchant/Landed Lady
Health Points (HP): 30,782
Mana Points (MP): 90,311
Stamina Points (SP): 45,691
Stats
Strength: 2534
Agility: 3327
Endurance: 3115
Vitality: 2894
Wisdom: 4879
Intelligence: 5231
Perception: 3982
Willpower: 4538
Titles: [Divine Customization], [Protagonist’s Progression]
Race Skills: [Language Common], [Analysis], [Adaptability], [Persistence], [Pattern Recognition], [Emotional Resilience], [Social Intuition], [Tool Use Mastery], [Creative Problem Solving], [Endurance], [Language Acquisition], [Risk Assessment]
Class Skills: [Arcane Mastery], [Mana Manipulation], [Spell Weaving], [Elemental Dominion], [Temporal Distortion], [Spatial Warping], [Arcane Shielding], [Mana Regeneration], [Runic Inscription], [Summoning Pact], [Ethereal Projection], [Arcane Amplification], [Mystic Perception], [Leyline Attunement], [Spell Duplication], [Void Channeling], [Enchantment Crafting], [Sigil Binding], [Arcane Overload], [Dimensional Anchor], [Arcane Recall], [Mana Compression], [Astral Convergence], [Spell Reflection], [Elemental Transmutation], [Chrono Lock], [Phase Shift], [Arcane Infusion], [Mystic Barrier], [Soul Channeling], [Runic Overcharge], [Gravity Manipulation], [Illusion Mastery], [Aether Conversion], [Sigil Cascade], [Arcane Resonance], [Planar Binding], [Mana Siphon], [Spell Echo], [Cosmic Awareness], [Elemental Conjuration], [Summon Familiar], [Greater Summoning], [Elemental Binding], [Dual Element Control], [Summon Elemental Lord], [Primal Invocation], [Elemental Fusion], [Conjured Legion], [Damn You Are Really Reading All This], [Elemental Shield], [Summoning Circle], [Spirit Pact], [Elemental Surge], [Manifest Avatar], [Binding Chains], [Overcharged Summon], [Elemental Rift], [Totemic Channeling], [Primordial Call]
Professional Skills: [Appraisal], [Bartering], [Market Insight], [Negotiation Mastery], [Inventory Management], [Logistics Coordination], [Wealth Accumulation], [Risk Evaluation], [Trade Network], [I Applaud Your Dedication], [Supply Chain Optimization], [Price Forecasting], [Contract Binding], [Resource Procurement], [Customer Insight], [Bulk Trading], [Smuggling], [Haggling Expertise], [Brand Establishment], [Opportunistic Deal], [Royal Authority], [Command Presence], [Strategic Governance], [Diplomatic Mastery], [Edict Enforcement], [Noble Management], [War Council], [Taxation Control], [Territorial Expansion], [Crisis Management], [Succession Planning], [Public Influence], [Resource Allocation], [Military Oversight], [Legal Decree], [Espionage Network], [Cultural Patronage], [Infrastructure Development], [Alliance Forging], [Divine Mandate]
Ding!
Holy fucking shit. Holy shit!
“Fuck yes!” I yelled, throwing up my hands in triumph. Oh, it felt good, oh, it felt so fucking good. Literally a dream come true. Oh my god, this was amazing. Michelle was the best. If gods were a thing here, I would start worshipping her out of sheer thanks.
Best day of my life!
Awesome, so fucking awesome. I spun around in a circle, feeling just… happy. I had died, and I was now in some fantasy world as an OP mage. It made even death worth it.
I swallowed the sudden ball of emotions that threatened to spill forth. I needed to keep it together. I couldn’t cry at a time like this, no matter how happy I was.
Okay. Focus Pamela. Now what?
I test these awesome powers, that’s what.
But where to start? That was the hard part. I had so many skills I honestly didn’t know where to begin. Summoning a familiar was kinda a classic. What was the difference between [Elemental Surge] and [Elemental Domination]? What did any of my skills mean?
What did my crazy stats mean? I didn’t really feel that different. I walked over to a fallen tree stump. Despite the promise of high strength, I was still tentative about kicking the rotting wood. My strength was my lowest stat, but I was a wizard after all. Oh fuck it.
I kicked the log. My foot went right through it like paper. I pulled my foot free. Okay… this was so fucking cool.
And maybe overwhelming. Maybe I shouldn’t have started with all these skills before I knew how to cast a single spell. It was totally cool but… I didn’t really know. Maybe a little unsatisfying.
What did an intelligence of 5231 mean? I didn’t feel smarter. Could one feel smarter? Was I better at math now? How could intelligence ever really be measured?
I kicked the stump again, this time breaking it in half. I was getting distracted by the existentialism of it all.
I had freaking wizard powers. Once I figured them all out, it would be a total blast.
A rustling in the grass made me turn.
Hopping out into the clearing was a small pink slime. Literally a slime just like from anime, globular with the texture of jello, a crystalline rocky core jiggling in the centre as it hopped closer.
My first monster. Wow. This place was so cool.
And this was the perfect opportunity to try out my magic. I’d probably get a title too for slaying my first monster. Not that I really needed more stat bloat… but regardless, it would be cool.
I raised my hand, needing to read through my status once again to even remember all my options.
The slime hopped closer.
“Okay… uhh,” I grimaced, trying to decide. “[Binding Chains]!” I called out. It seemed like a simple enough spell; I could practically picture what it would do, large metal chains bursting forth to smother my enemies.
But nothing happened. The slime hopped closer.
Oh, for fucks sake.
“[Binding Chains]!” I called again, making sure my aim was true. But it wasn’t the lack of a target that was the problem. Again, nothing happened.
I rolled my eyes. I had literally just solved this problem. I took a few steps back as the slime hopped ever closer.
[Binding Chains]!
I focused on it mentally, internally, calling upon the crazy pool of mana I knew I now had.
Still nothing happened.
You had to be kidding me. I had all this power, but I didn’t remotely know how to use magic?! How fucking stupid was that!? How was I supposed to know that I should have specifically requested to be able to use the skills I was granted?
The slime jumped at me. Distracted by my frustration, it tackled me to the ground.
You took 1 damage.
I snorted. The thing was kinda squishy. Was it going to try to digest me? I was literally holding it without being hurt by the thing. It was kinda cute, really. For a novice adventurer, it might be a challenge, but I was so OP that it was literally harmless.
The slime shot out a tendril that went straight into my mouth. I gagged, immediately trying to chuck the slime away, but I couldn’t.
Common Pink Slime has failed to… Oh, you don’t even have a basic parasite resistance skill. Well, this is awkward…
Was the fucking system giving me sass right now?!
I gagged again, clawing at the suddenly sticky slime as I tried to pull it from my throat. What the actual fuck? I could kick a log in half, but I couldn’t free myself from a measly slime.
I suddenly felt woozy.
Yikes, not even a poison resistance skill either, damn.
Shut up! Shut up! What the fuck?!
My limbs felt numb and tingly, my vision swam dark. What was happening to me? How had this gone so wrong? Why? What had I done to deserve this? I just… I just wanted to have some fun in a better world…
Such fucking bullshit.
Fuck you, Michelle. I take back everything nice I said about you. This wasn’t what I wanted at all. I should have just gone to stupid heaven.
I slipped into unconsciousness.