Stats are being consumed.
Titles are being consumed.
[Divine Customization] has been converted into experience.
All title-granted classes and professions have been converted into experience.
Accompanying skills have been converted into experience.
All experience has been siphoned.
Lesser Pink Slime has evolved 10^10 times.
Lesser Pink Slime has unlocked the System.
Lesser Pink Slime has evolved into Mythic Empress Slime.
Title gained [Absolute Parasitization].
Profession gained [Slime Host].
I gasped awake, sitting bolt upright in the grass and clawing at myself. I coughed, and I couldn't stop coughing, wheezing and gasping for breath after being suffocated and pointed by that stupid fucking slime.
The slime was gone. Jesus, so were my clothes.
I wrapped my arms around myself, then I plucked a piece of mostly dissolved fabric from the grass. My clothes had been eaten…
What the fuck?!
“What the fuck?!” I gasped.
And those messages… no…. No fucking way.
I had just gotten to this damn world! No fucking way.
Status
Name: Pamela Bishop
Race: Human
Class: ~None~
Profession: Slime Host
Health Points (HP): 00,011/00,012
Mana Points (MP): 00,001
Stamina Points (SP): 00,005
Stats
Strength: 0009
Agility: 0010
Endurance: 0010
Vitality: 0009
Wisdom: 0015
Intelligence: 0015
Perception: 0013
Willpower: 0016
Titles: [Protagonist's Progression], [Absolute Parasitization]
Race Skills: [Language Common], [Analysis]
I honestly didn’t believe what I was reading. My strength had gone from 2534 to 9. Nine, nine!?
I collapsed back into the grass. It felt more absurd than anything else. A stupid slime of all things had literally stolen everything from me. I had won the fucking cosmic lottery and promptly lost it all before I had cast a single damn spell.
I still had [Protagonist’s Profession], and two honestly bland-looking racial skills, but… that was it.
One mana, I had one mana point. What the fuck.
And 11 health, including the one damage I had taken. I had literally gone from a fucking god to regular old me.
I squeezed my eyes shut to try to fight back tears. This was such fucking bullshit. This was so unfair. I wanted a do-over. I wanted to change my decision. I didn’t want to be here anymore; this wasn’t fun anymore.
This wasn’t what I wanted.
“Michelle?” I called weakly, swallowing the lump in my throat as I wiped my tears. “Michelle?”
No answer. Not that I really expected there to be.
I should have asked for a stupid trial period.
“Fuck!” I yelled, my tears promptly getting the better of me again.
I wanted to go home. But I couldn’t, I was dead.
No more downstairs neighbours that I was friendly with. No more occasionally visiting mom and dad, far less than I should. No more hamster, poor Larry.
I dug my fingers into the grass. Unable to catch my breath through my tears.
Who had I been fooling? Myself clearly. What a stupid decision I had made. Easily gained, easily lost.
I was fucking dead! I was dead. It was only starting to sink in now, and it wouldn’t stop.
I had died! I had died!
And now I was alone in some stupid forest, in some stupid world that for some reason had video game mechanics and horrible sticky slimes that stole what little you had.
I was cold, hungry, and exhausted. I wanted to call my mom or talk to Larry, like he understood a word I was saying.
I was dead. I had wasted my fucking life, all for nothing. And now I really did have nothing. I really had nothing.
Michelle had told me to make the most of this new life. But all I wanted was my old one. Everything was gone.
I sobbed, alone in the forest.
Everything was gone.
And I was still in the forest. Oh fuck, I needed to do something. I was alone out here, nude, in the middle of the woods without any food or water. Oh shit.
I scrambled to my feet. Despite my sudden exhaustion, I couldn't just roll over. I may have had a sense for what would happen to me if I died, but the thought of dying was still innately repulsive. And out here in now much more dangerous monster-infested woods… Oh, this was bad.
I had water, thankfully. The stream was fast-moving, so it probably wouldn’t make me ill. Maybe… ah shit. I had nothing to boil any water with; it better not make me sick.
Food was the least important. It would suck, but I wouldn’t keel over dead without it.
My dissolved clothes were the bigger issue. I was already cold, and the sun was still up in the sky. When night came, I might very well freeze to death.
This was so dumb. I was so angry, but this didn’t stop being just so fucking dumb.
“Stupid system, stupid stats, stupid Michelle, stupid fucking slimes,” I grumbled.
I couldn’t just keep standing here. Trudging through the woods wasn’t an option without shoes; I’d probably cut my foot open immediately. What was plan B?
Nothing, there was no convenient plant B. No cozy dirt path or cobbled road to follow out of here. Just forest, a stream, and more forest. Oh, and presumably more evil slimes.
I turned back to the stream. [Analysis]
A continuous body of surface water flowing within the bed of a channel. A stream.
Wow… so useful. At least I had a skill that worked.
[Language Common] was good, I guessed. At least I would theoretically understand what people were saying to me… if I ever encountered people. Honestly, it was an essential skill for my monolingual ass, but uhh… not exactly helpful when naked and afraid in a mystery forest.
And hold on! Why was my profession Slime Host?!
Oh no. I felt around my face. Where had the slime gone? Where did it go?
I had assumed it had just drained me dry and continued on, but… oh no.
I analyzed [Absolute Parasitization].
[Absolute Parasitization]
A slime is currently parasitizing your body, leeching your experience gain.
This scales with slime rarity.
Effects: -99% experience gain.
Slime status: incubating.
I dry heaved, feeling sick. That thing was inside me! I leaned against a tree, desperately trying to catch my breath.
“Oh fuck!” I mumbled, squeezing my eyes shut.
This was fine. No, I could manage this.
-99% experience gain. Nope… actually, I couldn’t, I was fucking screwed. I was utterly fucking totally fucking screwed. I had a mythic grade slime living inside my body. So much for [Protagonist’s Progression], it was all going to the damn slime.
I was going to be slowly digested from the inside out and abandoned as some withering husk in the nicest forest clearing I had ever seen. At least my resting place wouldn’t be so bad. It was kinda quaint here.
A gust of wind made me shiver.
I was on the verge of throwing a tantrum.
“Excuse me?”
I let out an undignified sound as I spun around, trying to cover myself to provide some form of modesty. No one was there.
The sound of a throat clearing made me look down.
Pushing through the bush was a small little… guy. He wore nothing but a ratty loincloth, with green skin and ridiculously long ears. His eyes were buggy and yellow, and he carried a small bushel of some kind of fruit.
A goblin. I had been ambushed by a goblin.
He gave me a nefarious smile, all sharp, pointy teeth and a lecherous glare. Oh fuck. Or… maybe that was just his face, I couldn’t be sure.
“You are lost? Yes?” he asked.
I took a step back, preparing to run. I was definitely faster by virtue of not being three feet tall. Though… actually, that mattered far less in this world. Ah shit. I had seen enough anime to know how this went. I needed to get the hell out of here.
“Lady?” the goblin asked. “Don’t be scared. You want fruit?” it offered, holding out a red thing.
I turned and bolted, running for the stream as fast as my legs could carry me, which was admittedly far less fast than I had felt before. But that didn’t matter, because he was small, the steam would slow him down. I was not fucking around with goblins, fuck those molesting freaks. Nuh uh. I would take my damn chances in the woods.
I leapt. And crashed right into the steam, my ankle twisting painfully on the slippery rocks as I crashed into the riverbank.
You took 2 damage.
You took 3 damage.
You have been bloodied, 6/12 HP remain.
I felt woozy. Pain coursed through me as I lay in the mud. Holy fuck. Owwwww. Oh my god. I was literally half dead from falling into a brook. This was utter bullshit.
I wretched my head up, desperately trying to get my bearings.
The goblin stood on the far side of the stream, staring at me. “You crazy, lady,” he snorted, hopping down onto a rock and jumping over the deepest part of the stream with ease.
Fuck, he was an agile bastard. Just my damn luck. He loomed over me with a quirk of his hideous eyebrows.
As if my life couldn’t have gotten any worse.