Affirmation

I wondered about how long these plans had been in motion as I sat with Carolyn in the clinic. On one hand, I trusted both of them completely, but on the other hand the building seemed to be completely dead. We were the only two people in the waiting room, and I was 97.3% sure the receptionist was just playing games on the computer at the desk-- not that I was judging. I knew I would be doing the same in her place.

This clinic, literally just called 'family medicine', was on the opposite side of tri-state from the farm, not that far from where I used to live, but even if I had been getting out more I doubted I would have seen it.

"So who is this doctor?" I squeezed Carolyn's hand.

"Are you running out of novel ways to phrase the question?"

I grit my teeth. "I wouldn't have to come up with questions at all if you just told me!"

"It's a surprise. I want to see your reaction for the big reveal."

"So it's someone famous? Someone I know?"

"No and no. I mean, he's a reputable doctor, and if he is who I think he is, then he's actually a bit of a living legend."

"That's… good?"

"It is." She nodded. "It's very good. Provided he agrees to help, of course."

"So are you going to fangirl over this mystery doctor? Are you going to be upset if I'm not wowed?"

Before Carolyn could answer with more cryptic snark, the door next to the reception desk opened.

After so much time next to the farm clinic I'd gotten very used to seeing scrubs and lab coats, so my first assumption on seeing a three piece suit was that this was just a patient exiting. It wasn't until Carolyn stood that I realized *this* was the doctor.

He looked like he'd retired early from modeling, the sort of devilish handsome you'd expect in an advertisement that's trying to sell you a fast car or something. But there was something off as well. As though he was pretending to need glasses, or was styling his hair different as some sort of superman double act.

Some sort of motion near his knees caught my eye but there was no loose fabric to catch the air, and similarly, I felt like he had spikey hair but when I actually looked up it was slicked back neatly.

"Good…" he lifted a hand to look at his bare wrist and then clasped his hands. "--Morning. Sorry, it's been a weird one today. Carolyn, right?" He extended both index fingers to point at her before turning to me. "And Madeline."

I paused before nodding. I half expected Carolyn to say "It's doctor actually" but then again this was her idol. Still, her expression gave me absolutely nothing to go on ,"Right this way." He held the door wide and ushered us in.

The hallway beyond was completely covered in frames, some of pictures and art, but many of certificates. Carolyn let out a low whistle as she slowed to inspect the wall. "Quite the collection."

"Oh, thank you." He glanced at the wall as if noticing its decor for the first time. "Putting those up was Mikah's idea."

I stepped closer and looked at the nearest frame. I skimmed over the contents, discarding the university name I'd never heard of and looking for the name near the "doctor of medicine" bit. It took me a little longer than I expected just because I'd expected two names, a first and a last, but it was just one: 'Mazer'.

Doctor 'Mazer' sighed. "She also assured me that nobody would look closely."

"What? It's not fake is it?"

I glanced at Mazer and saw that both he and Carolyn were shaking their heads.

"Not fake, but I'm sure you could pick out something else that stands out."

I pursed my lips and started at the top, actually reading as I scanned. "Recomendation of faculty, blah blah blah, Mazer, doctor, year of our lord one thousand nine hundred and thirty five-- you got this in 1935?"

The evidently ancient doctor scratched the back of his head.

Carolyn seemed less surprised though. "I'd say you've aged very gracefully."

Mazer chuckled. "You're too kind, Doctor."

At this, Carolyn's eyebrows rose.

"Please forgive me for not recognizing you sooner." Mazer continued. "After all, you have pretty completely changed your appearance since your PhD dissertation."

"So it is you."

"Uh…" I looked between the two of them. So much of this was going over my head, but I didn't want to seem clueless. "Mazer was there for your dissertation?"

Carolyn folded her arms. "So back when I was presenting my findings on gene modification to the board, there was an unexpected guest. A 'Mazer junior' visited to recognize my contributions to his 'grandfather's' work." She unfolded her arms briefly to make air quotes.

Mazer looked sheepish all over again. "I never was one for compelling disguises. Shall I dispense with the illusion then?"

"Illusion?"

I'd scarcely spoken before he snapped his fingers and something changed. It was like I'd been looking at a group portrait, thinking I'd understood the subject completely, until asked what I thought of the clown in the background; except this was very much the foreground. First off, he had purple skin. And his horns and tail were now on full display, standing out like a fourth and fifth sore thumb.

I took a step back out of instinct but Carolyn adapted to the shock much more calmly. "I think I can see the family resemblance now."

"Oh? You're acquainted with my kin?"

Carolyn smirked. "I've had Mary over a couple times for 'dinner' as it were."

I rolled my eyes as they both shared a chuckle at the innuendo. "What, are all demons related or something?"

"Only in so far as you could say all humans are related. Mary happens to be my daughter." Mazer turned back to Carolyn. "Did she refer you here?"

I tuned out their chit chat and bit back a snippy remark about how I'd figured as much. It appeared that, despite everything, Mary was still a bit of a sensitive subject for me.

On the bright side, that irritation over the connections Carolyn had to Mazer quickly overshadowed my shock at being faced by a demon in the flesh. They'd started walking again so I followed along toward a very normal looking exam room, not terribly dissimilar to the sort Carolyn had at the clinic. I hopped up on the table that Mazer pointed out and kicked my hooves idly as the two doctors settled into their seats.

"So what brings you to my humble clinic?"

I looked at Carolyn, both hoping she would explain and praying she wouldn't do so in the most crass manner possible.

"Maddie is trying for a baby, but she wasn't born with this uterus so we want to be careful. Just looking for a second opinion."

Mazer nodded and rolled his chair toward me. "Then I'll just need to take a look, see what we're working with. Could you lift your shirt and lay back?"

I pursed my lips but complied. For all the time I spent naked with Carolyn and Deyha, I still wasn't quite acclimated to being seen. I had some practice compartmentalizing that feeling when dealing with doctors but Mazer wasn't giving off so many doctor vibes right now.

He held out his hands and then paused. "I should warn you. There will be some… sensations as I look around. Please tell me if you feel any discomfort or need me to stop."

"Uh… sure." I focused on taking slow and deep breaths, even as his hands on my stomach made muscles contract on instinct.

At first, the only remarkable thing about the touch was how warm his hands were, but as time passed the warmth took on a different-- flavor, for lack of a better word. I'd grown somewhat accustomed to my body betraying me in various ways, whether signalling that I was hiding something or assuming that sex was about to happen.

This time the betrayal was a bit more distressing. For starters, Carolyn was right there, watching me get hot and bothered by the doctor she so admired, and secondly, I was getting fucking hot and bothered about a man I'd just met and knew nothing about.

I clenched my eyes shut and tried to imagine it was Deyha. Unfortunately, that worked too well and I had to find some other distraction.

"So." My voice shook with the effort of lying still. "How does this work, exactly?"

Mazer frowned and withdrew his hands. "Sorry, I guess I got caught up in the novelty of the situation and forgot to explain. I'm using a charm as a sort of ultrasound to map out your anatomy."

"Fancy." Carolyn leaned in. "What kind of charm?"

His brow furrowed further. "I… It's just a charm? The charm? There's other ways to apply it for different results but… Well, I wouldn't change the name of a pencil when drawing a picture instead of writing words, if that makes sense."

Mazer sat back down on his stool and I pulled my shirt back down. I knew he might not have been finished but I felt like I could use a break from this so-called charm he was using.

"So did you perform these transfigurations yourself?" Mazer seemed to be choosing his words carefully, and I couldn't help but feel he was resisting the urge to critique the work of a fellow professional.

Carolyn chuckled. "I suppose you could call it that. I print the runes that Maddie drinks.

"Runes?" Mazer and I asked just out of sync, and Carolyn laughed again.

"I designed an AI to manufacture runes that trick the cells in her body into executing new instructions. Some instructions such as the formation of her uterus were already mostly present and just needed to be activated once, but there are instructions such as the creation of eggs and menstrual cycle that I intentionally omitted, and completely foreign instructions such as those required for her bovine characteristics."

"Ah." Mazer did a slow nod and folded his hands. "So you play the role of a foreman, overseeing and scheduling the construction tasks while Maddie does all the building herself?"

Carolyn shrugged. "I don't see how else I would go about it."

Mazer tilted his head from side to side. "My approach to transfigurations has been somewhat the reverse, which makes it far more costly on my part. Sticking with the construction analogy, I send an army of contractors to perform all the building work and let the host body guide some of the finer parts of the change."

Carolyn flicked her nails against the little spikes along her jaw idly. "So we would be counting on Maddie's body to want to make the required eggs, and also hope that it doesn't waste too much effort undoing all my hard work."

Mazer nodded. "And there's not much I can do about that, I'm afraid."

"So I get the power to shapeshift but only once?"

Both Carolyn and Mazer chuckled at this.

"True enough, I suppose." Mazer sat back, "So, what are your goals and expectations? Just childbearing?"

"I… guess?" I wasn't sure how to feel about the possibility of Mazer's magic being 'wasted' undoing some of Carolyn's work. Would this undo all the mods I'd worked on for the last year? Was I willing to undo all of that just to bear a child?

"Any concerns then?" He rolled his chair back toward the edge of the table and folded his hands in his lap.

"A few, sorry. Uh, it's hard to articulate though-- like, I assume this isn't covered by insurance, and I wonder how much conscious control I'd have-- and how long would it take? Not that I need instant gratification or anything but just for planning and such."

Mazer nodded and glanced at Carolyn. "Well, you are correct about insurance. Payment would be required in a different sort of currency. The transformation would be driven by your subconscious, so for instance things about yourself that you are content with would remain untouched while problem areas would take in resources."

Carolyn sucked in her breath through her teeth. "That's going to make this expensive then."

"What? No." I objected even though I had a feeling I was lying. "There aren't any problem areas."

She was already shaking her head and she turned to Mazer. "I wasn't brave enough to shrink her skull, shorten her spine, or resize her rib cage, so I'm fairly sure that a lot of energy would go to that. But--" she looked at me now. "--I think it's probably worth the cost if he can do what I can't."

I was a little stunned to hear Carolyn admit there was something she couldn't or wouldn't do in front of someone else, her idol even, and the fact that she knew so intimately the points that I didn't like seeing in the mirror was embarrassing.

Mazer nodded thoughtfully. "Well, that does complicate things. I prefer to write contracts for this sort of work but I have a hard time estimating what the cost would be before doing the work as it were… In general-- and I'll preface this by saying that I am not intending to cause discomfort in offering-- but I tend to do these sorts of transformations in exchange for a child."

I balked. "Like rumplestilskin or something? What the fuck?"

"No, no no no. Nothing like that. I would be the father. Again, I don't want to place any expectation or pressure, and uh… yeah. Sorry, I can see that I was wrong to bring it up. just forget I said anything."

My face was burning with a strange sort of rage. On one hand it was hard to be angry at someone so contrite and polite, but on the other hand what the ever-living fuck?

Carolyn seemed to maintain composure. "I find it unlikely that she would go for that, what was the alternative?"

Mazer scratched his chin idly, and I could sense he was avoiding looking at me. "I could modify a mana storage device so that you could take it home and return it once it's refilled."

"How would that work?"

"It would be sort of like pop culture portrayals of voodoo dolls. In addition to transferring sensation, the device would siphon mana. It's not exactly a pleasant process, it's very literally draining and I couldn't say how long it would take to charge. Depending on the extent of the depletion it might even render her temporarily unable to orgasm."

Carolyn's grin took on a devious glint. "So it would be a doll that transfers sensation to Maddie, and draws on the energies released from her reactions?"

"Correct." Mazer stole a glance at me. "And transferring sensation isn't necessary--"

"Oh-- I disagree." Carolyn interrupted. "Maddie, I think you're choosing this?"

I rubbed my face. "Gods." I wasn't sure I'd survive having a voodoo doll and inability to cum, but the idea of having someone literally use me while I go about my business was insanely attractive. Hell, it was very nearly the sort of thing Carolyn would pay to have, so the idea of it being a method of paying for the body of my dreams was an offer I couldn't refuse. "What were the details about having your child again?"

"Maddie~" Carolyn whined but I ignored her.

"Oh, well." Mazer seemed to struggle to pivot to this possibility. "Intercourse wouldn't be strictly necessary, but the gist would be you bearing my child, who would then be a cambion like Mary. I would want to be present in the development of the child, of course, so it would be a shared custody situation if not co-parenting."

"Well, that would incentivize you to ensure a healthy pregnancy." I shrugged.

"I assure you I will do everything in my power to guarantee a healthy baby, regardless of whether it ends up being my own."

I finally returned Carolyn's gaze and she was scowling. I sighed and made a show of rolling my eyes.

"We'll have to get back to you on whether you can be the father, but for now I think we'll want to move forward with the whole voodoo doll system."

"Okay." Mazer reached to the side and his arm seemed to disappear. I couldn't make out a point where it happened. I could tell his arm ended at the elbow now, but there was no portal.

Before I could really scrutinize it, he was pulling his arm back, now holding a crystal prism. I expected it to be glowing, but it was just somewhat cloudy in places with a purple hue throughout.

"This--" Mazer held it up, "Is a sort of mana battery. Currently quite full." he paused and reached into the void, pulling out a couple additional crystals, these he dropped in his pocket. "And these are just in case."

"So crystals actually store mana?"

He nodded. "If charged correctly, yes." he turned to his computer and angled the monitor so that I could see. He pulled up a form and tabbed through the entry fields, typing my name in one, and checking a few boxes. He hit print and the printer under the desk set to work. "And this is the contract."

I watched with growing trepidation as he clipped the copy paper onto a board and handed it and a pen to me. I could tell great pains had been taken to make the word-salad readable, with handy one-sentence summaries after each paragraph, but it still seemed like a bit much.

"Carolyn? Help?" I whined and handed her the clipboard. She groaned goodnaturedly as she took it and stood to lean against the exam table next to me.

She traced the page with her finger as she explained the various sections. "This is specifying the involved parties, the payment, the services… interesting."

"What?"

"There's no listed consequence for breaking the contract."

"Should there be?" Mazer spoke up.

Caroyln shrugged. "I guess not. It's just a funny way to go about things."

"I'm not going to repossess Maddie's body if you default." he chuckled and Carolyn laughed as well.

"That's very kind. And I suppose we don't really want to terrify dear little Maddie here with the consequences of breaking a deal with a demon."

I looked from Carolyn to Mazer. "Nobody wants to be terrified, but that seems like a very critical thing to understand."

Mazer shrugged. "Very well." He took the contract and scrawled across the bottom.

I expected some sort of mortal consequence but instead it just said "if you break this contract I will be very very sad."

I shook my head. "How do you ever collect payment with this as the consequence?"

He shrugged. "I'm fairly particular about who I enter into agreements with, and between Carolyn's reputation and obvious interest in the payment method I can scarcely imagine it being an issue."

"Fine. Fine." I took the contract, signed my name, and handed it to Carolyn. "You didn't see anything else suspicious in the contract?"

Carolyn cackled. "You probably should have verified that before signing, but no, it all checks out. I'd say this is a pretty generous deal."

"True." I grumbled. "If he knew Mary was a customer he probably could have bargained for a lifetime supply of milk or something."

Mazer snapped his fingers. "Darn."

I smirked at his antics, but anxiety still swirled in my stomach. Did he have enough mana on hand to do everything my body subconsciously wanted? Was I actually going to be happy with the result? I leaned forward and took a look at my hooves. I'd spent so long relearning how to walk to get to this point, and I wasn't excited about the prospect of doing it all over again.

"Carolyn?"

"Yes dear?"

"Will you redo my hooves if this undoes your mods?"

She chuckled, "I think the fact that you would do them again means they will likely be there after the fact."

"Okay, okay." I took a deep breath. "So are we doing this now? I know this is all weirdly sudden but I'm just gonna psych myself entirely out of my mind if I just sit here and think about it."

"Sure, sure." Mazer spoke in reassuring tones. "Just lay back and close your eyes. If your skull changes size your eyes will likely move a little closer together and I expect that would be extremely unnerving."

"Sounds like I'd be experiencing something nobody has ever seen before. Could be pretty fascinating." I laid back and closed my eyes.

"Unlikely. I'm just going to place my hands on your stomach like I did before."

I pulled up my shirt and then after a moment I felt the warm hands again. This time however the warmth was more palpable, and the accompanying disorientation made it feel like I was plunging head first into a warm hot tub. It wasn't quite a weightless sensation, but I also couldn't tell which way was up anymore. I had to assume down was toward the table that was presumably under me, but any sense of pressure was completely lost in the myriad of other sensations.

I vaguely heard voices but before I could begin to arrange the syllables into words, the sensations began to fade, replaced by an empty sort of lethargy.