“ If you ascend the throne, there will be another bloodstorm. Rishar and the Grand Duchess of Saxony, among many others, will lose their lives.”
Edwin spoke in a tone of certainty. Etienne quietly agreed with his assessment. But one doubt remained.
“How can you be sure that the tragedy you fear won’t happen if the Grand Duke of Eckhart takes the throne?”
“That is…”
Edwin’s lips parted, words stalling for a moment. Cautiously, he laid out his plan.
“You needn’t worry about your safety. I don’t believe Rishar would harm you, but… even if he did, I would help you. I will prevent anyone from harming you.”
Edwin met Etienne’s eyes with a serious expression. He didn’t know whether the boy would trust him, but he intended, somehow, to protect Etienne.
To guarantee Etienne a peaceful future once everything was over.
That would be both his atonement and the least duty he could fulfill as Etienne’s father.
“When Rishar becomes crown prince, I intend to confer a grand-ducal title on you and grant you the Flannel domain. I’ll also enact a special law so the house you found can continue like Eckhart.”
“…”
“I regret that I must say this to you. But it’s for everyone’s sake. You may resent my decision… but please understand.”
Etienne looked at Edwin, who was asking for his understanding, with a strange curiosity. It was a little novel, seeing him make a request of him. Separate from that, his gut twisted.
“I know I haven’t properly cared for you. And I know how hard that has made things for you.”
Growing anxious at Etienne’s lack of reaction, Edwin spoke again. It was worse than saying nothing.
You know how hard it’s been for me? You? No—you know nothing. You know absolutely nothing.
Stung by Edwin’s words, Etienne clenched his molars. Heat rose in his chest as he squeezed the fist resting on his thigh. He gripped so hard that blue veins sprang up on the pale back of his hand.
“ I also know you’ve suffered a great deal because of the Empress. It’s all my fault…”
“Just a moment.”
Etienne cut him off. It was rude, but he could not stand any more. If he didn’t, he felt he might spring up immediately and shout: What do you know?
“Etienne?”
When Etienne interrupted, Edwin looked puzzled. Etienne stared at him, jaw tight. The sight of a man who didn’t even know what he’d done wrong made anger boil—then, all at once, everything went hollow.
What had he expected at this point?
With a heavy wash of lassitude, Etienne wore a bitter smile. He had thought he had discarded every expectation of the Emperor, but it seemed some dregs remained.
“Hoo.”
Etienne let out a short breath and closed his eyes as if to turn away from Edwin. He barely swallowed down the anger pressing up his throat. He despised himself for being wounded by the words and actions of a man who had never once been a father to him.
“…You don’t need to explain this or that to me. I understand Your Majesty’s intent perfectly well.”
Having wrestled his emotions back under control, Etienne forced the corners of his mouth up.
“I also think it’s right for Rishar to be Emperor.”
“Truly…?”
“Yes. Let me make it clear here: I have no desire for the throne.”
At Etienne’s unequivocal answer, color returned to Edwin’s face. Things were going more easily than he’d expected.
“But.”
Etienne added, looking toward Edwin, whose expression had brightened.
“As you know, I have no power to stop my mother. I cannot disobey her. I hope you’ll understand that.”
“I know. Do you think I don’t know the Empress’s disposition?”
Edwin smiled as if to say not to worry. Watching the Emperor smile at him, Etienne tightened his lips. Otherwise, he felt the painstaking mask he’d assembled would crumble to pieces.
“I don’t intend to place a heavy burden on you. For today, it’s enough that I know your thoughts. After everything is settled, all you need do is declare before the people that you have no intention toward the throne.”
“I will.”
Answering readily, Etienne paused as if something caught in his mind and asked:
“But… has the Grand Duke of Eckhart agreed to this as well?”
“Hm?”
“He once told me he had no intention toward the throne.”
“Rishar said that to you as well? Don’t concern yourself. I’ll persuade him.”
Edwin waved a hand as if it were nothing to worry about. In that instant, Etienne saw the Empress in him. Emperor or Empress, both were the same when it came to forcing their own will upon Rishar and himself.
I have no interest in the throne. That seat belongs to Your Highness.
Perhaps because the Empress’s image overlapped the Emperor, Rishar’s face suddenly rose in his mind—his expression that day, clinging to him with aching desperation.
“…I will leave persuading the Grand Duke to you, Father. And… I will lend what small help I can so you may achieve what you wish.”
When Etienne said he would help him, Edwin hesitated. The smile vanished from his excited face. His lips moved, as if unsure what to say, and he offered awkward thanks.
“Th-thank you.”
“In return, I have one request. If you succeed in stopping my mother, please grant me a favor.”
“A request? What sort?”
“Promise me first. That you will grant it.”
Etienne straightened and looked at Edwin. Swept by a strange feeling at the sight of his son meeting his eyes—so unlike usual—Edwin thought: He can wear that expression too, after all; he’s not merely weak.
“…Very well. Speak. I’ll grant anything.”
What would he ask? Will he ask me to spare the Empress? Or else…
Edwin guessed at what Etienne might request. It was the first time for anything like this; he had no notion what the boy would demand.
“Later… when everything ends safely, take my side just once.”
Even after receiving Edwin’s consent, Etienne hesitated for a long time before carefully voicing his demand.
“Take your side? Are you asking for the right of pardon?”
“I didn’t have a right of pardon in mind, but as Your Majesty says, a blank pardon letter with the imperial seal would be good.”
Etienne smiled faintly at Edwin’s question. A blank imperial pardon—even rebellion would be forgiven if the Emperor so pardoned. Since no one knew what the future would bring, it was best to set up some safeguard.
With a blank pardon, even if it were later exposed that he was an Omega, he could at least save his life.
“Whether it’s a pardon or a promise, the form doesn’t matter. So long as it’s kept.”
Etienne deliberately put weight on the last words. His voice was more serious than at any other time.
“Just once will do. When the whole world points and condemns me, support me that single time.”
“…You speak as if such a thing will happen.”
“Won’t it be so, once my mother falls?”
“Who would dare… As I said, even if Rishar takes the throne, nothing will happen to you. I swear it on my name.”
Edwin pledged to Etienne with a hard face. But Etienne did not believe him.
He could not possibly trust a man who had never, from start to finish, been a father to him—only cruel.
“Thank you. This will likely be the first and last request I ever make of you.”
The first and last request.
The words struck Edwin’s chest like an arrow. He flinched before he knew it.
“Then may we conclude our conversation? I’m unwell and should rest. Or do you have more to say?”
Something had gone wrong.
Edwin looked at Etienne as if at a stranger. The softly folded eyes, the mouth tracing a smooth arc, were the same as a moment ago—and yet, strangely, he felt like someone else.
“Father?”
When Edwin said nothing, Etienne called him with a puzzled look. Edwin could not answer.
Were the child’s eyes… always like this?
Edwin frowned, bewildered. Only a little earlier, taken aback by his sudden visit though he was, the boy had still taken him in wholly with his eyes.
But now, he did not. The pale blue eyes, filmed over, had lost their life and gone hollow—as if belonging to a creature already without breath.
Ah.
A sigh slipped from Edwin’s lips. The moment he saw his own reflection in those murky, watery eyes, he understood his mistake.
In the eyes with which the child looked at him there was no affection, no anger, no emotion at all. They were the eyes one turns upon a perfect stranger.
Realizing it, his heart plunged with a thud. With this conversation, Etienne had closed his heart to him completely.
What on earth have I done?
Mouth slack, Edwin stared in a daze. When he realized he had thrown away his last chance to make peace with his child, his mind reeled. But the water had already been spilled.
***
Plip, plip.
Since dawn the rain had cast the Imperial Palace into darkness. Listening to the drops tap the window, Etienne looked at the cardigan folded neatly on the table.
“…”
Standing by the door, Ben watched him carefully. Perhaps because the room was dim, Etienne’s expression wasn’t clear—but it was obvious his mood was poor.
Since the Emperor’s visit yesterday, Etienne had been low. He hadn’t slept a wink, tossing all night.
Damn Emperor.
Swallowing the curse rising to his tongue, Ben clenched and unclenched his fist. Thinking of yesterday still lit a fire in his gut.
How can a father say such things? Ben could not begin to understand the Emperor.
He must be hurt.
Looking at the droop of Etienne’s shoulders, Ben’s face filled with pity. He could hardly guess how much worse a heart already worn raw had been abraded.
“…Ben.”
At last, Etienne broke the silence. From between lips barely parted came a voice sunk as if soaked through with rainwater.
“…! Y-yes, Your Highness.”
Ben answered quickly to Etienne’s call. Etienne drew his gaze from the cardigan and rose with slow movements.
“Help me get ready to go out.”
“Go out? Now?”
At the unexpected words, Ben’s eyes went round. He glanced at the sheets of rain beyond the window and asked, worried:
“The weather’s bad… Where will you go?”
“The Military.”
Etienne answered briefly and headed for the dressing room. Ben hurried after him.
“Why the Military all of a sudden…?”
“I’m going to Rishar.”
“What?”
Ben’s eyes grew even wider. Seeing his surprise, Etienne stated the purpose of going to the Military.
“I need to return the cardigan.”
“Ah.”
Ben’s gaze flicked to the table. The cardigan is the pretext; he’s going to talk about the Emperor’s visit. It wasn’t hard to guess Etienne’s true intent. But Ben couldn’t show he knew.
“Your body…”
“I’m fine.”
Brushing off Ben’s concern, Etienne gestured for him to bring a change of clothes. He was low on strength from the lack of sleep, but the fever had broken. A brief outing would be manageable.
“Right. Prepare the pheromone perfume too.”
“Perfume?”
Attending him at the wardrobe, Ben halted at the unexpected order. For Etienne to ask for perfume of his own accord—well, that was the sun rising in the west.
“There are many Alphas in the Military. Better to be careful, just in case.”
“Ah, right. Understood.”
Etienne gave a perfunctory explanation to satisfy Ben’s curiosity. The real reason was Rishar—but he could not say that aloud. If he admitted Rishar might have caught his body scent, there would be an uproar at once.
“Which scent?”
“Evening primrose.”
Pressing down the anxiety that kept lifting its head, Etienne chose a perfume close to his body scent. In the unlikely event Rishar truly had caught his scent, he meant to insist it had been perfume.
“I’ll spray it.”
Ben sprayed behind Etienne’s ears and on his wrists. Etienne lifted a wrist to smell it, then held out his other hand toward Ben.
“More.”
“More here?”
“Mm. On the nape too.”
That will be overpowering.
Though uneasy about the request, Ben sprayed Etienne’s wrists and nape. The dressing room filled with a strong floral fragrance.
“Bring the pellet too. I’ll take it in the carriage.”
“Yes.”
Nose wrinkling at the tickle of the scent, Ben moved quickly. There was much to prepare for a single outing.
***
“Mind the step, please.”
Ben got out first and hurriedly unfurled the umbrella. The guard at the main gate recognized Etienne and saluted in haste.
“Let’s go in.”
Etienne gave the guard’s greeting scarcely a nod as he passed. Splash—each step sounded wet.
“The walk is really…”
Ben frowned at the puddles collected all along the path. He resolved to complain to the building manager and tilted the umbrella as much as he could toward Etienne.
Despite his efforts, Etienne’s shoulders and trouser hems grew damp. The rain was so heavy the umbrella was almost useless.
“Where’s the office? Which floor?”
Entering the lobby, Etienne gave his hair a light shake. He had not announced a visit, so no one had come to meet him. As he asked, Ben, fumbling out a handkerchief, answered quickly.
“First floor.”
“First?”
Etienne looked puzzled. The first floor, with its meeting rooms and lounges and other common spaces, was necessarily less secure than the others. That was why, the higher the rank, the more typically one used the upper floors.
“Wasn’t his old office on the third?”
“His Highness the Grand Duke requested the first floor, so they converted one of the small conference rooms. This way.”
Having already confirmed the office’s location, Ben guided Etienne with practiced ease. Turning right after him, they came to a great gallery.
“Oh?”
“Gasp.”
A few people clustered in the lounge connected to the gallery recognized Etienne and let out exclamations or startled sounds. Ben lifted an index finger to his lips, signaling them not to make a fuss.
“Is it that one?”
Meanwhile, Etienne spotted a door across the gallery. Unlike the others, that door alone had a knight standing guard.
“Yes. That’s His Highness the Grand Duke’s office.”
“Let’s go.”
Avoiding the curious gazes, Etienne quickened his pace. Along the long corridor, portraits of generals whose names were etched in history hung in a row.
Passing several doors, they reached the end of the gallery, where people were at work against the wall. Judging by their attire, they were palace staff attached to the Military.