Lu Yiran was a corporate drone who had been working for three years. His greatest hobby was slacking off and scrolling through his phone during work hours. After all, his seat was tucked away in a corner, and as long as his boss didn’t come looking for him, he could pretty much rest easy.
The app “Vibrate” was especially effective at killing time. Once he opened it, half an hour would fly by in no time.
It was 11 a.m., and Lu Yiran had just finished his tasks. He secretly unlocked his phone and started swiping through videos one by one. Most of them featured beautiful women—gorgeous ladies and stunning girls—with the occasional period drama clips thrown in, all of them serious and proper.
Suddenly, a video popped up on his screen: a man in ancient costume stood there stiffly, his face expressionless. Without even opening his mouth, lines of dialogue suddenly appeared.
“My name is Liu Xiaolian, and I’m filming a terrible period drama.”
Then the camera cut to Liu Xiaolian looking at a children’s toy sword in his hand and complaining, “What is this? A kids’ toy sword? And they’re using this as a prop??”
Unexpectedly, the toy sword started flashing with a “ding-ding-ding” sound effect. “It’s already this low quality, and you’re still flashing? Seriously?”
The toy sword flashed even faster, as if protesting. Liu Xiaolian sighed in exasperation. “What, you have a problem with me calling you low quality?”
Then a chubby man jumped out. “I planted this tree! I opened this road! If you want to rescue the princess, you’ll… you’ll… have to step over my dead body!”
He stumbled over his lines—clearly, he’d forgotten them.
Liu Xiaolian complained, “Come on, can you at least memorize your lines before coming on set?”
“Alright then, unleash your ultimate move—the Sun God Fist!”
“So I’m using fist techniques?”
Liu Xiaolian suddenly understood. He threw away the toy sword, and his hands, as if moving on their own, clenched into fists.
“I feel a surge of heat flowing through my body. My left fist is as cold as ice, and my right fist is as hot as fire.”
Lu Yiran stared at his phone, eager to see what the Sun God Fist actually looked like. But the so-called “frost effect” and “flame effect” were just text overlaid on the screen?
He almost shouted out loud, “Who am I? Where am I? What am I watching?”
“So powerful!” the chubby man yelled, then collapsed after being hit by countless text effects.
This dedicated villain, even in his dying moments, had to share his thoughts. “That day, running under the setting sun was like my fading youth.”
Though Liu Xiaolian had no idea what was going on, he pressed forward, ready to rescue the princess.
This time, he arrived at a small river. “Hah!” someone shouted as they leaped out—and it was the same chubby man again?
“You still have to defeat me!”
“Didn’t I already defeat you just now?” Liu Xiaolian looked utterly confused.
The chubby man paid no attention. “Come on, let’s settle this once and for all!”
This battle was even more spectacular, with text and sound effects describing how intense the fight was. As for the actual visuals?
Sorry, the production team was too broke. Everyone would have to use their imagination.
The chubby man was defeated once again, and this dedicated villain, even in his dying moments, had to share his thoughts. “That day, running under the setting sun was like my fading youth.”
Lu Yiran couldn’t help but burst out laughing. He didn’t know why, but he just found it hilarious.
Liu Xiaolian continued forward and finally encountered the final villain. Sure enough, it was that same chubby actor again.
But this time, his costume was finally more refined. At a glance, Lu Yiran found the outfit quite familiar—wasn’t this the attire of the major antagonist from the recently popular drama The Long Song of History?
He still remembered that in the TV series, this villain had a tragic background and an overwhelming presence.
How could the same outfit look so comical on this chubby guy?
The chubby actor flashed a sinister, charming smile. “Young man, you’ve finally arrived. The princess is imprisoned in the castle’s… uh… this, this, this… basement.”
“You’ve appeared three times already and still can’t remember your lines?” Liu Xiaolian let out a deep sigh, utterly speechless.
The chubby guy opposite him continued to provoke, “Young man, I challenge you to a duel to the death!”
Suddenly, a surge of heat seemed to emanate from behind him, as if internal energy was circulating.
Liu Xiaolian felt a surge of excitement. “Now this is the epic showdown I wanted!”
What followed was a series of rapid camera cuts, complete with dramatic close-ups of their faces!
The chubby actor roared from deep in his throat, “Hah!” Then he leaped forward!
Wait… leaped forward?
Hey, there’s a cliff right in front of you! You don’t have wings! Why are you still jumping forward?
Liu Xiaolian shouted, “No!”
With a splat, the chubby guy crashed to the ground and died.
The final shot showed Liu Xiaolian’s dead-fish eyes and his signature expressionless face.
“My name is Liu Xiaolian. I never expected that I’d actually rescue the princess in the end. But… can I lock her back up now?”
But the moment the princess turned around, Lu Yiran burst into hysterical laughter—it was still that same chubby guy!!
In a coy, shy tone, the chubby guy said, “You saved me. Tonight shall be our wedding night.”
Liu Xiaolian drew his toy sword and, without hesitation, slit his own throat.
The chubby guy, too late to stop him, could only hold him in his arms with a sorrowful, pained expression. “Why did you have to do this?”
Only after watching the entire video did Lu Yiran realize it was only three and a half minutes long? How did it feel like he’d just finished an entire TV series?
His hand seemed to move on its own as he immediately forwarded it to the group chat. “Must-watch content! Guaranteed to blow your minds!”
This was a slacking-off group he had with a few colleagues. Even though it was still work hours, everyone quickly popped up. “What’s the good stuff? Let me see.”
Lu Yiran, his face beaming with excitement and a smile, typed rapidly on his keyboard.
“This video is definitely going viral. Trust me, if you don’t watch it, you’re not a true Chinese!”
The others quickly finished watching the video and began flooding the group with their reactions.
“Hahahaha, I’m dying of laughter! How is this production team so broke?”
“Don’t laugh! That’s my lost youth, hahahaha!”
“Wow, this director is amazing!”
The short video quickly spread across various small group chats. Meanwhile, Shang Lu was monitoring the backend.
Watching the view count quickly surpass 500,000, then 1 million, and even 10 million—hitting a million in less than an hour after release—she knew she had won.
Heh heh, she had deliberately scheduled the video release for 11 a.m., perfectly timed for lunch breaks.
She took out her phone and quickly scheduled the second video for release, setting it for three days later.