Consciousness sank into darkness, and when she opened her eyes in the haze, what she saw was a noisy street.
Pedestrians thronged past, hawkers cried their wares at the roadside, and a girl sat alone at the edge of the road.
"Spare something to eat, anything at all, please, I haven't eaten in three days."
Tapping a broken wooden bowl with a twig picked up off the road, Ella's eyes were empty.
"But I'm the protagonist... Why? Why did it turn out like this..."
Tears slid down her cheeks, and one fell into her mouth, full of bitterness.
A carriage rolled past, throwing up dirty water and dust that landed in the broken bowl. The jade pendant that had kept her company for years had long since shattered; it slipped out of her pocket, emerald fragments scattering beside her.
Her father was dead. Her mother was dead. Elos had gotten bored of the game.
"Please, anyone, anything, just a little."
"Where did this stinking beggar come from? This is no place for begging."
A patrolling guard with an iron rod walked toward the begging girl.
"Get out, get out, get out. Don't spoil the look of the street."
The rod came down, and with it waves of dull pain she had no words for.
"Ngh... ngh, stop hitting me, stop. It hurts... it hurts so much..."
***
"It hurts!"
Ella's eyes flew open and she jerked upright.
"Hoo... hoo... it was a dream. Thank God... it was a dream."
The wound on her shoulder ached dully, and Ella's eyes darkened.
She pressed lightly on it.
It wasn't light yet, and there was a chill in the air. Her body still had no strength in it.
The fabric at her shoulder felt stiff, which was what dried blood did.
Ella closed her eyes, her mind rocking violently.
"Thank God it was a dream. I'm the protagonist! There's no way I end up a beggar."
Talking to herself, Ella tried to put the dream out of her head, but her mind kept burrowing back into the fragments of it.
She fell silent.
"So hungry..."
The hunger came back. One meal a day with work on top of it was too much to bear.
"If I cried and begged her, would she treat me a little better?"
She couldn't help imagining it.
"Heh... Never mind."
Ella got out of bed in a daze.
Her head a mess, not knowing for the moment where to go or what she could do, she walked to the windowsill.
She tried moving her right hand. The shoulder was stiff and hurt the moment it moved, and she bared her teeth.
"That bastard."
Special, she'd said. Special how? Better than anyone else at stirring up her urge to hurt people?
Ella touched the jade pendant at her waist.
She pushed the window open, leaned out, and looked into the distance.
"I wonder whether Sephone made it home..."
Probably not. She was likely at an inn in the town; the carriages out to the village only ran in daylight.
"Cough, cough... heh... heh..."
Her gaze passed over the stripped potted plant on the sill, and Ella went out.
The corridor was dim, with no sound of footsteps in it.
Ella drifted along in a fog, to the kitchen.
The cooks were already busy, probably on the guards' breakfast, and nobody noticed her.
Ella took a few small dried fish and an apple off a shelf, left the kitchen, and crouched down in a corner.
"Achoo!"
Ella sneezed again. She felt so wretched that she couldn't be bothered about whether or not it was stealing. Elos should still be asleep at this hour, so it was probably fine.
Holding that thought, Ella chewed on the dried fish and watched the servants and guards crossing back and forth over the courtyard.
There was no sign of Elos, and Ella let out a breath.
"Haah..."
Sighing again, she thought how utterly pathetic she was. She was supposed to be the protagonist, and here she was crouched in a corner eating stolen food like a little thief.
"Ah. It's you?"
The cold-faced maid she had met a few times noticed Ella crouching in the corner, and stopped.
Her gaze rested a moment on the pale face and the bloodstained clothes, and some pity came into her eyes.
"Don't look at me like that."
Ella caught the look, and her mouth twisted.
"Mm."
The maid raised both hands in surrender and went into the kitchen.
Outside, Ella finished the dried fish and the apple, then licked her fingers, still wanting more.
Just as she was about to go back in and steal something else, the maid came out and handed her two loaves.
"Eat."
"...? You're not going to go and tell Elos, are you?"
"No. Don't worry."
The maid had given her the bread simply because she pitied her.
"I am the head maid here. You may call me Katherine, little madam."
"Oh. Thanks."
Ella took the bread, thanked her, and gave her whole attention to the fresh loaves.
Both cheeks were soon packed full, like a hamster's. Isn't that rather cute, Katherine thought. There was no telling what the young mistress was thinking.
Katherine thought back to the boy from the day the young mistress made her choice. Honestly, it was hard to connect that inexplicably confident creature with the girl in front of her.
"The young mistress... if you humor her more, and take a little more care, she's actually quite easy to get along with."
Katherine had hesitated a while before saying it.
Ella gave the head maid an astonished look and said nothing. She simply thought Katherine had lost her mind.
Easy to get along with where? And what the hell kind of name was "little madam"?
Her mouth twisted, and she went back to the bread.
Hot, wheaty, faintly sweet. Ella ate her fill and enjoyed every bite.
Knowing Ella hadn't taken the advice in, Katherine stood.
"I came to have the kitchen prepare the young mistress's breakfast. Would you take it up to her in a while?"
She meant to make things a little easier for Ella. At the end of the day, there was no shame in currying favor with the young mistress.
Katherine had looked into all of the ones who had stood in that line for Elos to choose from. They were all children of declining minor houses.
House Beaumont held a third of the Empire's land and was, without exaggeration, a colossus, and Elos was that vast house's heir.
For the son or daughter of a minor house, currying favor with Elos was no disgrace. Of course, that was not a thing Katherine could say outright.
"Do I look like someone who can carry a tray?"
Ella answered without any grace at all.
She tried moving her right arm. It moved stiffly.
"I'm sorry. That was presumptuous of me."
Katherine blanked for a moment, then apologized.
"Still, thank you. I'll find a way to repay you."
Ella swallowed a mouthful of bread. A protagonist repays a kindness. Mm. That was right.
She and Katherine exchanged only a few more words, and Ella sat there a while longer, until both loaves were gone and her stomach was full, and then she started back.
Her head was still a mess. The nightmare had not let go of her.
Elos's face was in her mind. Would she get bored of her? And once she was bored, would Ella's future be good, or bad?
Uneasy, Ella came back to the door, and Katherine's words sounded in her head.
"Hoo..."
She drew a deep breath, hesitated briefly, then pushed the door open and went into Elos's room.
She was no good at flattering people, but to make her own life a little easier she was willing to try.
Into the dim room, and up to the bedside. Elos was still sleeping peacefully.
"Bastard... How can she sleep this soundly with a clear conscience after bullying someone? Doesn't she feel any guilt at all?"
Muttering, Ella sat down on the edge of the bed. Not knowing what to do, she waited, bored out of her mind.