The sound of the door closing was neither loud nor soft, yet these casual words struck heavily against Su Lixu’s heart, echoing the closing door.
He watched Fu Xingran walk toward him with a smile on his face, winding the sash pulled from his bathrobe around his hand. A dangerous aura rushed toward him.
What was it like to sit on pins and needles, and what was it like to be eyed like a predator by a tiger?
Behind him were walls filled with photographs and portraits, and in front of him was Fu Xingran with his unreadable emotions, making him feel as though he were surrounded on all sides.
For a split second, Su Lixu regretted what he had just said, yet he felt that he could not simply compromise.
Besides, since he had already said it and made his stance clear, this guy surely wouldn’t resort to forcing him, right?
So what should he do now?
Could he win in a fight?
He glanced at Fu Xingran’s tall and sturdy build, then silently retracted his gaze.
He could not win.
“Why are you lowering your head? It is not like I am going to eat you.”
Just as Su Lixu lowered his head, his chin was pinched and lifted upward. His gaze followed Fu Xingran’s hand to meet the eyes gazing intensely at him, a familiar scent of shower gel grazing his nostrils as his pupils flickered slightly.
This guy surely did not buy the exact same shower gel as him, did he?
Fu Xingran leaned forward slightly, one hand resting on the armrest of Su Lixu’s chair while the other pinched his chin, forcing him to look up. His ink-dark eyes gazed down at Su Lixu, who was feigning composure while actually panicking, and he curved his lips into a smile.
“Scared already? You did not look scared when you dumped me, a patient, and walked away without a second thought.”
Su Lixu raised a hand to brush Fu Xingran’s hand away, but the moment he lifted it, his wrist was caught by Fu Xingran. As if all his thoughts had been completely seen through, his hand was pressed against Fu Xingran’s own chest. He tried hard to shake it off to break free, but was instead forced into a ten-fingered intertwining grip.
He was even forced to close the distance between them.
He glared angrily and shyly into Fu Xingran’s eyes, only to crash into the banter deep within those pupils.
The disparity in their builds made Fu Xingran’s leaning posture immensely oppressive, especially those broad shoulders and long arms casually resting on the chair back, giving off an overwhelming sense of inescapable dominance.
Sitting in this chair felt increasingly scorching and agonizing.
Su Lixu desperately regulated his breathing, trying to keep himself steady. He had to be rational now; since Fu Xingran was acting irrationally, he had to find a way to break out of his current predicament and calm Fu Xingran down so he would not act impulsively.
He needed to turn the tables now and stop letting Fu Xingran lead him by the nose.
Since Mr. Fu wasn’t going to say it, he had to say it himself. He did not want to be misunderstood.
“What happened four years ago was actually…”
Before his sentence could finish, both of his wrists were bound by the bathrobe sash. He widened his eyes in shock, looking at Fu Xingran in disbelief. The moment he tried to struggle free, his knees were clamped between Fu Xingran’s legs.
“Fu Xingran!”
His near-panicked reprimand ended with a trembling inflection. Fu Xingran met the shy anger in Su Lixu’s pupils, where light amber depths fluttered with a flustered expression, giving his usually gentle and warm countenance a vivid liveliness he had never witnessed before.
So Su Lixu could look this breathtaking when he was angry.
He lowered his head and chuckled, using the bathrobe sash like a ribbon to tie a butterfly knot around Su Lixu’s wrists just like a packaged gift: “Older brother, won’t you give yourself to me as a gift? Then I will forgive you.”
His tone was a gentle inquiry, but the knees clamping his sides possessed an inescapable strength.
Su Lixu’s thin lips trembled with shyness and anger; his legs were completely immobilized, and his hands could not break free. Leaning back against the chair, he stared alertly at Fu Xingran: “This is a society governed by law. Do not do anything reckless.”
To think that he had lived by the rules for nearly thirty years, where on earth had he ever encountered such a situation?
Yet somehow, he had walked straight into a wolf’s den of his own accord, wearing nothing but an apron and lacking even his mobile phone.
A textbook definition of a lost lamb.
“I am not doing anything reckless. I am very serious.” Fu Xingran inspected and admired the butterfly knot he had tied from left to right, then glanced back at Su Lixu, looking supremely satisfied with his gift: “So pretty.”
Hearing this laughter sent a tingling sensation rippling down Su Lixu’s lower back. He pressed his dry lips together, sorted out his thoughts, and decided to switch tactics: “Xingran, what happened four years ago was a misunderstanding. Listen to me first.”
He could not go toe to toe with Fu Xingran, as that would only make the guy more excited, so he decided to take a step back to advance.
“A misunderstanding?” Fu Xingran replied nonchalantly: “Doesn’t matter.”
Su Lixu: “What?” It didn’t matter? If it didn’t matter, why was it still so terrifying!
“I did not tell you my secret to exact revenge on you; I told you because I like you. Whether it was deliberate or a misunderstanding, it only makes me like you even more, makes me unwilling to let you go, and makes me want to give you a tiny punishment.” Fu Xingran released Su Lixu’s knees, stood up, placed his hands on Su Lixu’s shoulders, and brought his face close to Su Lixu’s shoulder: “Do you know why I like you so much? Look at the date on that painting.”
Su Lixu felt awkward from the warm breath lingering near his ear and turned his face away, only to have his cheeks cupped by Fu Xingran to keep him from moving.
“Do not hide from me. Be a good boy, or else I am going to unwrap my gift.”
Su Lixu silently shifted his gaze to the painting on the wall. If not hiding means no hiding, I will endure this temporary calm.
He forced himself to regulate his breathing.
“Did you see it?” Fu Xingran asked.
“I did not see it,” Su Lixu answered truthfully.
Hearing the irritation in Su Lixu’s tone, as if pleasantly surprised to discover that this man also possessed a little temper, Fu Xingran felt his patience inexplicably gratified: “The bottom right corner of the painting says September 22nd. That is the origin of the 922 perfume, the day I first met you.”
Su Lixu’s expression shifted. He was extremely sensitive to this date because it was the day Suliuyang left. But why would it be the day he and Fu Xingran first met? In his memory, that should not have been the date.
“That day, I was standing on the top-floor restaurant of Skyscraper Group wanting to jump, and you saved me. I was fourteen years old that year, and I wanted to die so badly, but you pulled me back.”
As if recalling something, Su Lixu turned his head and looked at Fu Xingran in astonishment: “You were that little boy?”
How could that be?
Back then, Suliuyang chose to jump and end his life right in front of him, a pain he would never forget, the failure of failing to protect his younger brother. After walking out of the hospital, he thought about many things, letting his mind wander wildly, even thinking that he shouldn’t be alive either.
Yet just as he stepped onto the twentieth floor, he saw a little boy wobbling as he climbed onto the railing, and without even thinking, he rushed over and grabbed him.
He used all his strength to pull the little boy back, just like holding onto his very last straw of hope.
“You rushed over wearing a white sweater, grabbed me, pulled me with all your might, and yelled at me fiercely not to let go. For a split second back then, I thought I was dead; otherwise, how could I have met someone so good-looking? I must have gone to heaven. But you told me not to let go, you wanted to pull me up, and you pulled me up.”
Su Lixu’s pupils flickered as he lowered his gaze to suppress his disbelief. How could there be such a coincidence? Fu Xingran turned out to be the little boy he had accidentally saved back then, and it was precisely because of that incident that his back was left with an injury.
September 22nd meant the day Suliuyang left.
And for Fu Xingran, September 22nd meant the day of his rebirth.
For him, it was also a rebirth.
Fu Xingran placed his hands back onto Su Lixu’s shoulders, his pupils reflecting the person he had yearned for day and night: “You are the one who kept me alive, you are the one who caught me, you are the one who appeared in my world first. How could I possibly let you walk away now? On September 26th, three years later, I ran into you at the hospital. You did not remember me, but I remembered you. So 922 is the day I first met you, and 926 is the day I ran into you a second time. Isn’t it magical? You saved me once, and then you saved me again.”
Su Lixu remained silent without answering. His state of mind right now was no less turbulent than Fu Xingran’s.
Six years ago on the rooftop, he grabbed Fu Xingran who wanted to jump; four years ago in the psychiatric hospital, he became Fu Xingran’s attending physician; and four years later, he was standing in front of Fu Xingran once again.
What kind of coincidence was this?
“The first time, I didn’t have time to look at you properly; the second time at the hospital, I didn’t have time to keep you either. This time, I do not want to miss you again.” Fu Xingran tightened his grip slightly on Su Lixu’s shoulders: “I really cannot wait any longer. I am afraid someone else will snatch you away, I am afraid it will be too late. Look at me, just look at me, okay?”
His near-supplicant words carried an indescribable humility and fear, while the pressure of his hands gripping Su Lixu’s shoulders offered no room to break free.
So this was the reason why Fu Xingran kept trying to get close to him?
Su Lixu’s peripheral vision inadvertently caught sight of the left hand grasping his shoulder. He seemed to recall that Fu Xingran usually wore a watch. But right now, the spot on his left wrist where the watch normally sat was bare, revealing shallow and deep scratches clearly etched into his sight, causing his pupils to contract.
His train of thought was pulled far away by those few scratches.
Brother, it doesn’t hurt. I just want to make sure I am still alive.
Brother, I cannot control myself, and you can’t accompany me every day. I’m scared.
Brother, I am so tired. I want to die.
Why had he tolerated Fu Xingran’s approach?
Perhaps all these coincidences began the day Suliuyang left and he saved Fu Xingran.
The deep reliance placed upon him by this youth, who also suffered from borderline personality disorder, inadvertently reminded him of Suliuyang and made him dwell on the regret of failing to keep his younger brother. He knew Suliuyang was Suliuyang and Fu Xingran was Fu Xingran, and he knew he wasn’t that noble, but the eternal, unfillable regret in his heart was still influencing him.
It even influenced his tolerance toward Fu Xingran.
He had originally guessed that Fu Xingran wanted to exact revenge on him, yet he still condoned Fu Xingran’s closeness and spoiled behavior. The current situation was a trap of his own making, and aside from himself, no one else could untangle it.
If his attitude toward Fu Xingran were any firmer right now, things of an unimaginable magnitude might occur.
Su Lixu raised his eyes slightly, lifted his hands bound by the bathrobe sash right in front of Fu Xingran, looked at him, and spoke in a soft, muffled voice:
“Xingran, my hands hurt.”
Playing hard to get, let’s see if this guy falls for a soft approach.
The man sitting in the chair had trembling eyelashes and a very soft voice. As he raised his hands bound by the bathrobe sash, Fu Xingran felt his very heart tremble and tangle: “Older brother, are you acting spoiled with me?”
“It is too tight. Can you untie me?” Su Lixu looked at Fu Xingran.
Fu Xingran chuckled out loud, as if catching onto Su Lixu’s intention: “Want me to let you go, right? Well, acting spoiled won’t work.”
Su Lixu: “…”
“You can try another method.” Fu Xingran thought about it very earnestly: “For example, seduce me. Perhaps I’ll soften up and untie you.”
Su Lixu’s thin lips trembled, and after holding back for a few seconds, he spat out a few words: “Little pervert.”
He was already thirty years old.
Fu Xingran couldn’t help laughing out loud, letting out an uh-huh sound as if he thoroughly enjoyed the title: “Very accurate. I am your little pervert.”
Su Lixu: “Shameless.”
“Also very accurate. When it comes to you, I am shamelessly pestering you to the end.”
Su Lixu was left speechless and helpless by Fu Xingran’s straightforwardness. He yanked hard on the bathrobe sash again, only to find it tied so tightly that it was completely impossible to break free, making him slam his hands down onto his thighs in frustration.
And it made the corners of his eyes turn red with anger.
“What happened four years ago was a complete misunderstanding! As a doctor, how could I possibly give up on you? It was your father who said my treatment had no effect and insisted on taking you abroad for treatment.” Su Lixu pressed his lips into a tight line, feeling deeply aggrieved by this predicament. He took a deep breath to smooth over the emotions that were difficult to digest: “I told your father not to take you away, but he said I was unprofessional and couldn’t cure you.”
“My professionalism was called into question, yet after begging them multiple times not to give up on treatment, I was still told in the end that I was not professional enough and could not bear this responsibility. Your father made his decision resolutely, and I was devastated.”
“What else could I do?”
Su Lixu looked at Fu Xingran, his moistened pupils revealing a resolute conviction: “I never said I wanted to give up on you, and I never said I wanted to leave you. I am a doctor; I do not have the right to choose my patients. In other words, only the patients have the right to choose me, and I will never turn away any patient. That is my responsibility.”
Fu Xingran’s expression froze. Seeing that Su Lixu’s eyes had turned red, a wave of panic washed over his heart; he certainly hadn’t intended to make Su Lixu cry.
This speech also came as a massive surprise to him. It turned out his dad was the one who told that to Su Lixu? So this was the real reason why Su Lixu left because of his dad? It wasn’t because Su Lixu didn’t want him or hated him and therefore left?!
What did he mean by saying the treatment had no effect?
What did he mean by saying Su Lixu was unprofessional?
If not for Su Lixu, he would have been dead long ago, leaving an old man to mourn a child.
The hands Fu Xingran had resting by his sides tightened involuntarily, his jawline tensing from grinding his teeth as his pupils stained with a gloomy chill. That old man was truly out of his mind! How dare he subject Su Lixu to such grievance?! And it had almost made him wrongly accuse Su Lixu in return.
“That is why I went abroad, because I felt my capabilities were truly insufficient and I lacked confidence. So back then, you also felt that I couldn’t cure you, right? That I wasn’t worthy of being your doctor.” Su Lixu caught the shift in Fu Xingran’s emotions. As expected, playing hard to get was working, and he instantly breathed a sigh of relief.
Showing weakness really worked.
No wonder Fu Xingran used this trick on him so successfully before, it really was effective.
“I think you are the best doctor in the entire world. You are the one who saved me, you are the one who kept me.” Fu Xingran squatted down in front of Su Lixu, raised his head to look at him, his gaze sincere: “If I had known it was the truth, I wouldn’t have let you suffer this grievance.”
Perhaps because Fu Xingran’s expression was exceptionally earnest, making this sentence carry a slightly touching weight, it seemed like an opportunity to show a bit more weakness.
“Then…” Su Lixu raised his hands slightly: “This part is also a grievance.”
“Do you want me to unwrap the gift?” Fu Xingran brushed his fingers over the bathrobe sash, inadvertently catching sight of the red marks on Su Lixu’s wrists, a hidden shadow flashing across his pupils. Could it really leave marks that easily?
Su Lixu felt his face burn red from the word gift: “I am not a gift.”
“Then it cannot be untied.”
The two stared at each other like this for roughly a minute, an ambiguous and sticky atmosphere permeating the air.
“I am.” Su Lixu felt he couldn’t handle this atmosphere any longer. He compromised, extending his hands out in front of Fu Xingran: “I am the gift, untie it.”
He couldn’t take it anymore; he was going to go crazy.
He couldn’t predict what would happen next, but since everything that needed to be said had been said, he could only take things one step at a time as they came. Surely Fu Xingran wouldn’t lose his mind and force him?
“I want to unwrap it in another place.”
Before Su Lixu could even process what was happening, he was scooped up straight from the chair in a horizontal bridal carry by Fu Xingran. He let out a gasp of surprise, staring in disbelief at Fu Xingran. What is he trying to pull now?
Fu Xingran carried him securely in his arms, pressed the door handle down with his elbow to push open the bedroom door, walked out of the room, and carried Su Lixu straight toward the neighboring apartment.
“Fu Xingran, are you calm right now?”
Returning to Su Lixu’s home, Fu Xingran spotted the cake prepared on the bar counter at a glance. Looking down at the extremely nervous Su Lixu, he curved his lips and smiled:
“I am very calm.”
With that, he walked straight into Su Lixu’s bedroom.
Upon seeing that large dark-green bed, Fu Xingran seemed to recall what he had once done on this very bed. The corners of his lips dipped slightly as he walked over to the bedside and laid Su Lixu down onto the mattress.
The moment Su Lixu touched the bed, it was almost a reflex action for him to start crawling inward.
Before he could move more than a few steps, both of his ankles were instantly grabbed, pulling his entire body right back. The ensuing distance made Su Lixu’s pupils dilate.
Fu Xingran gripped Su Lixu’s ankles with both hands, pulling him closer, then knelt on one knee right between his legs, instantly propping his hands on either side of Su Lixu’s face as he gazed down at him.
The distance between the two of them shrank to an intimate closeness in a split second.
“I was wrong. I shouldn’t have secretly taken pictures of you.”
“I was wrong. I shouldn’t have plastered my room with your photos.”
“I was wrong. I shouldn’t have painted that portrait that made you so shy.”
“I was wrong. I shouldn’t have let you suffer grievances.”
Sincere apologies rang out by his ear, one after another. Su Lixu’s eyelashes fluttered lightly as he met Fu Xingran’s gaze; the tone was sincere, the eyes were burning, making his throat feel dry and tight.
“I am the one who misunderstood you. If you don’t like it, I will change. Please don’t be angry anymore, okay?”
Su Lixu had no idea why Fu Xingran suddenly changed his attitude, but at the very least, it kept him from feeling as nervous as he had in that other room, and at least this was his own home.
At least Fu Xingran had let him go and brought him back home.
That meant Fu Xingran still possessed his rationality and didn’t genuinely intend to force himself upon him.
“Then untie me right now.” Su Lixu turned his face away to dodge his breath.
“Older brother, today is my birthday. I want a gift. If you give it to me, I will untie you immediately.”
Hearing Fu Xingran asking for a gift again, Su Lixu panicked inexplicably: “What do you want?”
No matter what was asked, he felt he probably couldn’t give Fu Xingran what he wanted.
Fu Xingran just looked at Su Lixu like this, his gaze traveling from top to bottom before finally landing on those slightly reddish, delicate lips. The expression deep within his pupils darkened further and further as he slowly leaned in.
Su Lixu raised his hand on instinct to press against Fu Xingran’s approaching chest, only to have his hand naturally grasped and held by Fu Xingran.
Until warm lips brushed against his slightly cool earlobe, and Fu Xingran’s deep voice resonated right by his ear:
“I want you to raise your hands right in front of me and say to me: Please unwrap it.“