Su Lixu had never felt so anxious before. When he ran to the parking lot and saw that Fu Xingran’s car was gone, he completely broke down.
Four years ago, he had learned from Mr. Fu that Fu Xingran liked street racing and would resort to high-adrenaline activities, especially driving, whenever he was angry or in a bad mood. Now that Fu Xingran’s car was missing, he dared not imagine the consequences.
If Fu Xingran got into an accident because of this incident late at night, what would happen?
Su Lixu patted his pockets and realized he hadn’t grabbed his car keys. He hurriedly ran back inside to get them, but when he stood in the entryway clutching the keys, he suddenly fell silent. The problem was, where was he supposed to find Fu Xingran? He had no idea where Fu Xingran would go, and searching blindly right now would just be like a headless fly crashing around.
Angered, he kicked the shoe cabinet, only to let out a sharp cry of pain the very next second.
He sucked in a cold breath, looked down, and realized he was still wearing slippers.
This is genuinely driving me crazy.
Even so, he couldn’t care about that anymore. He grabbed his car keys and headed out the door. Even if he couldn’t find him, he had to try. He didn’t believe he wouldn’t be able to spot such an obvious Lamborghini, and if he really couldn’t find him, he would just call the police and report Fu Xingran for street racing.
He was bound to catch him eventually.
The elevator door chimed and slid open. Just as he lifted his foot to step inside, he stopped dead in his tracks upon seeing Fu Xingran standing right there.
The moment their eyes met, neither of them spoke.
Fu Xingran was somewhat surprised by Su Lixu’s sudden appearance at the elevator doors. Looking at Su Lixu’s scantily clad figure and the slippers on his feet, compared to his own thick, cotton-padded baseball jacket, it looked as though they lived in two completely different seasons.
He furrowed his brows. “You go outside without shoes and dressed so thinly. It is freezing out there. Where are you going?”
As he spoke, he took off his jacket and draped it over Su Lixu’s shoulders.
Then he noticed Su Lixu looking at him with an expression that was utterly indescribable and profoundly subtle. Why are you looking at me like that? Su Lixu subconsciously reached up to touch his face. He had wiped all his tears away, so they shouldn’t be visible.
The surge of panic that had been blocked tightly in Su Lixu’s chest vanished completely the moment Fu Xingran appeared, the exact second that warm jacket settled over his shoulders.
At the same time, the tangled emotions that had been persistently lingering in his mind resolved themselves in an instant.
He took a deep breath. “What did you just go do? I didn’t see your car in the parking lot.”
Even if he truly didn’t know what to do next or what else Fu Xingran might pull, under the weight of Fu Xingran’s earlier actions, he felt that rather than suffering through the torment, it was better to take a gamble.
He would gamble on it, and he would bet that Fu Xingran would respect him.
Fu Xingran looked surprised. “You went down to the parking lot to look for me?” Catching the lingering trace of worry on Su Lixu’s face beneath the darkness in his eyes, joy instantly bloomed across his features. “You were worried about me?”
Seeing that Fu Xingran could still smile, Su Lixu felt an uncontainable wave of frustration flare up. He yanked the jacket off his shoulders and threw it hard back at him. “How could I not be worried? You have such a bad temper when you get upset. When I couldn’t see your car, I thought you went off to street race.”
“I did go street racing.”
Su Lixu’s eyes widened. “Fu Xingran!”
“But then I thought of you and turned right back around.” Fu Xingran caught the jacket thrown back at him, unfolded it, and instead of putting it back on Su Lixu’s shoulders, he used it to pull him into a face-to-face embrace.
Through the jacket, he could still feel the strong, steady thumping of the young man’s heartbeat against his broad chest, while his powerful arms exuded a gentle warmth, much like the garment buffering the space between them.
It was a boundary maintained with exquisite precision.
Su Lixu froze.
“I will not give up on you, even if you hate me, despise me, or think I am a freak. I will not give up on pursuing you. I will change until you like me.” Fu Xingran pulled Su Lixu tighter into his arms, speaking in a soft voice. “You might not understand or grasp what you mean to me, but that is fine. From the very moment you saved me, I knew I would live on for your sake.”
“Four years ago, when I couldn’t find you, I had thoughts of ending it all. The scars on my wrist are the ones I carved out slice by slice, but right there at the edge of losing consciousness from blood loss, I thought of you again. So I regretted it. I didn’t want to die, and I wanted to live.”
“I needed to find you.”
“So you could see me again, like me, and fall in love with me.”
“No matter how difficult or long this process takes, I will never give up.”
“I used to have countless regrets and unhappiness, but when I felt most desperate, thinking I was completely useless and living like trash, you were the one who appeared by my side. You walked me through the darkest days, encouraged me, and waited patiently for me.”
“My life was saved by you. Even if I spend my entire life pursuing you without result, I will have no regrets, because at least I am striving toward the ultimate goal of my life.”
“So when it comes to liking you, even if I get nothing in return, I will never regret it.”
The hallway echoed with Fu Xingran’s resolute and deeply affectionate words, striking piece by piece against the young man who, moments ago, had wanted to claim him after his secrets were exposed. It was contradictory yet obsessive, rational yet deeply romantic.
Yet it showed Su Lixu a completely different side of Fu Xingran.
He was no longer the clingy little milk dog from before, nor the little freak with a head full of dirty thoughts. At this moment, he was a determined, unyielding Fu Xingran. Just like finding a four-leaf clover unexpectedly among a patch of three-leaf clovers, it was an accidental discovery, a pleasant surprise.
“I am going to keep pursuing you, starting from this very second.” Fu Xingran released Su Lixu. Having held him to his heart’s content, he draped the jacket back over Su Lixu’s shoulders and gently nudged him backward. “It is too cold. Hurry up and go inside, or you will catch a cold.”
After escorting Su Lixu back to the doorway, he didn’t step inside.
His feet stopped right at the threshold, not crossing it by a single inch.
Su Lixu clutched Fu Xingran’s jacket draped over his shoulders and looked at him standing right outside the door. Fu Xingran had given him his outerwear, leaving himself wearing only a white short-sleeved t-shirt. Yet he acted as though he felt no chill at all, standing there like a well-mannered gentleman who would never cross boundaries without permission. His expression turned subtle upon hearing that he wanted to continue pursuing him.
Who gave you permission?
“Go on inside,” Fu Xingran said with a smile.
“Aren’t you taking the cake?” Su Lixu thought to himself, what kind of game is this guy playing now? He had already hugged him, slept with him, and messed around, and now he was suddenly acting reserved?
“You can bring it to me. It is so late, and we are two single guys alone, so it wouldn’t be appropriate for me to go in,” Fu Xingran said seriously.
Su Lixu couldn’t help laughing out loud. “Fine.” He walked back into the apartment, retrieved the cake from the bar counter, and handed it to Fu Xingran at the door. “Take it.”
Then he watched as Fu Xingran took the cake and showed no intention of leaving.
“Why aren’t you leaving yet?” Su Lixu wondered what sort of trick the guy was trying to pull this time.
Fu Xingran replied, “It is not midnight yet. My birthday hasn’t started.”
The next second, a phone ringtone chimed.
Su Lixu looked suspiciously at Fu Xingran.
Holding the cake in one hand, Fu Xingran pulled out his phone with the other and held it up for Su Lixu to see, smiling. “Right on midnight. I am twenty-one years old.”
Seeing the alarm set for exactly 00:00 on the phone screen, an unexplainable wave of sourness washed over Su Lixu. How badly must someone who had once thrown his life away have wanted to celebrate a birthday?
“This is the first birthday I am spending with you.” Fu Xingran gazed intently at Su Lixu. “I hope there will be a next one, and the one after that. So, older brother, can I court you?”
Su Lixu’s gaze flickered slightly as he suddenly recalled the bet he had just made with himself, as he had been betting on whether Fu Xingran would respect him.
Seeking consent was the ultimate manifestation of respect.
In such a short span of time, stepping away from the obsessive desire to possess him inside that room filled with secrets, Fu Xingran’s reason had conquered his inner conflict, granting him respect.
For someone with borderline personality disorder, this was actually immensely difficult, because individuals with this condition are constantly trapped and weighed down by their own overwhelming emotions. Yet Fu Xingran was actively trying, overcoming the disappointment of being rejected just moments ago and persistently finding another way forward.
Right now, he couldn’t fully gauge the extent of Fu Xingran’s condition.
But at the very least, based on the current situation, Fu Xingran was operating within a safe boundary because his reason was still intact.
“I am not that easy to chase.”
The words drifted lightly through the hallway, yet struck heavily against Fu Xingran’s heart.
Fu Xingran bit down hard on his lips to keep from smiling too broadly, though he couldn’t suppress the ecstasy swelling in his chest. “Then I will take my time chasing you.”
Su Lixu’s gaze fell on the dimples at the corners of Fu Xingran’s lips, and on an impulse, he felt a strange warmth rising in his cheeks. He feigned casualness and replied, “Then hurry up and go back.”
What on earth was wrong with this guy? How could he still be smiling?
And what was wrong with himself? Weren’t you just terrified?
“Can you say happy birthday to me one more time?” Fu Xingran looked pleadingly at Su Lixu, acting exceptionally obedient.
Worn down and helpless, and secretly terrified that this guy might do something reckless if provoked further, Su Lixu relented.
“Happy birthday.”
Hearing that happy birthday, Fu Xingran beamed brightly. Cradling the cake, he lowered his head and took a bite. “I am very happy. Thank you, older brother.” He looked at Su Lixu and silently made a wish.
The young man had a smudge of cream on the tip of his nose, holding the cake and grinning like a goofy dog.
Su Lixu forced himself to pull back his overflowing softness. He reached for the doorknob to close it, only to find that Fu Xingran was still standing right outside the threshold holding the cake.
“What are you still standing around here for?”
“I am waiting for you to close the door before I leave,” Fu Xingran said.
Su Lixu moved to shut the door, but glancing back out and seeing him lingering outside, worried that the guy might actually stand out there all night, which was something entirely within Fu Xingran’s repertoire, he opened the door again. “Go back first.”
“No, you close the door first.”
“You go back first.”
“You close the door first.”
Su Lixu stared expressionlessly at Fu Xingran. After a silent pause of a few seconds, he suddenly realized what kind of stupid game he was playing, actually standing in the hallway arguing with Fu Xingran over who should close the door or leave first.
With a heavy bang, he shut the door without another word.
It was truly unbelievable.
The second the door closed, Fu Xingran’s muffled voice filtered through from the other side.
“Older brother, I am so happy today! Thank you for staying with me!”
Su Lixu stared blankly at the door, then frantically slapped both hands against his own face. What on earth was he doing?
Su Lixu, get a grip on yourself.
Don’t let Fu Xingran bewitch you.
Outside the door, Fu Xingran stared fixedly at the panel. He lowered his head and took another huge bite of the cake, stuffing his mouth full. The sweet, rich cream coated his taste buds, mirroring his current mood, which was the ecstatic joy of long-awaited rain after a drought.
He chewed and swallowed the cake piece by piece, refusing to waste a single crumb, indulging himself with absolute greed.
My wish is to be able to see you every single day.
That was enough.