“What—uh... what... I don’t really understand what you mean....”
Gyujin gave an awkward smile and looked away. Only then did he realize he had been clutching the bedsheet tightly in his fist, and he consciously forced his fingers to relax.
How does Kwon Dajung know? Did he hear something from the doctor while I was asleep? Did something happen that turned his suspicions into certainty? Or did Yoon Palsik tell him?
Gyujin frantically tried to make his sluggish mind work, but it felt as though he were flailing helplessly in empty space.
An awkward tension settled over the hospital room.
He could not bring himself to meet Dajung’s eyes. Hearing the word baby come out of Kwon Dajung’s mouth, then hearing him casually talk about terminating the pregnancy—it all felt unreal.
It was as though a heavy stone had been set on Gyujin’s chest and was pressing down without end.
“I heard it from the Director. He said there’s a baby in your belly.”
Gyujin’s eyes shook violently.
His fingers had barely begun to twitch when he parted his lips, trying to answer.
But no words came out.
What could he possibly say?
Would making excuses even mean anything now?
No, before that, he could not even think of what excuse he was supposed to make.
He had gotten pregnant somehow, hidden it, and planned to terminate the pregnancy.
Was there really anything else Kwon Dajung needed to know?
“He said it’s yours and mine.”
With those calm words, Dajung knelt in front of Gyujin.
He rested his head against the bed and looked up into Gyujin’s eyes.
“I know why you weren’t going to tell me, too. It was because of what I said in the car that day, wasn’t it? Because I said I didn’t need some kid....”
His fingers crept closer and wrapped around Gyujin’s hand.
Dajung rubbed his lips against the back of it.
“That’s right. I don’t need a kid. Even if it’s my own child, it’s not more important than you.”
Gyujin could not tell what emotion had gathered so thickly in Dajung’s eyes.
Lingering attachment?
Regret?
Guilt?
Or all of them at once?
He had no chance to figure it out. The ground beneath his feet already felt as though it would not stop shifting.
“This isn’t a good time. Gyujin, I... I just need you. That’s enough for me.”
Gyujin quietly listened.
He did not entirely understand what Dajung meant, but it seemed Dajung had reached some kind of conclusion after struggling with the matter in his own way.
Gyujin wanted to respect that conclusion.
At the same time, he wanted to be honest about his own feelings too.
“But Dajung, I... actually, I think I was a little happy.”
With his free hand, Gyujin stroked Dajung’s hair.
He had never told anyone, but he liked this feeling.
The sensation of soft hair slipping between his fingers.
The way Dajung always looked especially pleased whenever Gyujin petted his head.
“I was confused at first, but once they said it was yours and mine... the first thing I thought was, What if I had the baby? If I’m being honest, I think I spent more time considering having it than terminating it. I knew you’d hate the idea, but I liked it. A family... If I could have one, I wanted to try having one with you.”
The very fact that he had hesitated was proof enough that Gyujin’s heart had already tilted in one direction.
The truth was, he wanted to have the baby.
He wanted to raise Kwon Dajung’s child.
That was the selfish wish Gyujin had never been able to tell anyone.
“If you don’t want it, I won’t force you. I’ll terminate the pregnancy too. I was already planning to, so you don’t need to feel especially guilty about it. I didn’t make that decision just because of what you said.”
Gyujin smiled faintly.
“But you still shouldn’t have said it like that to my face. Even I... if you act like that, I can’t help getting hurt.”
***
The doctor’s eyes darted around more frantically than ever.
He had summoned one patient, yet three people had entered the examination room.
Despite being flustered, he was trying so hard not to look flustered that every movement became needlessly busy.
Gyujin, still dressed in a hospital gown, sat across from the doctor.
Yoon Palsik and Kwon Dajung stood directly behind him.
All three men were large enough that the room seemed to turn gloomy simply from having them packed inside.
Trying his best not to be conscious of it, the doctor diligently scanned the chart.
“For now... the baby is safe. Cases like this are extremely rare, but you were very fortunate.”
Considering that Gyujin had not only been in a car crash but had also lost blood and gone into shock from a gunshot wound badly enough to lose consciousness, it was no exaggeration to call the situation miraculous.
“However, it will take at least three weeks for you to recover fully. The baby is important, of course, but please don’t forget that the patient’s recovery has to come first. And regarding what you mentioned over the phone... we’ll have to discuss that again after those three weeks.”
The doctor was speaking indirectly, but no one failed to understand that he meant the termination.
Palsik cautiously raised a hand while glancing sideways at Dajung.
“Then, Doctor, after three weeks...?”
“Probably. You should think of twelve weeks as roughly the absolute limit....”
At the ambiguous answer, Dajung, who had been listening silently, tilted his head.
“Probably? What kind of fucking irresponsible answer is that?... Sir?”
Gyujin turned around without saying a word.
Dajung belatedly tacked the polite ending onto his sentence.
“Are you even a real doctor? You definitely have a license? You’re not some quack?”
“Dajung.”
At Yoon Gyujin’s warning, Dajung snapped his mouth shut.
He stopped speaking, but his eyes were still overflowing with distrust.
Under the stare of an SS-rank Esper practically screaming, You’re a quack, aren’t you?, the doctor began to visibly fidget.
Gyujin sighed and rubbed his forehead.
This is exactly why I told him not to come.
Dajung had stubbornly followed him anyway, and now all he was doing was terrorizing the doctor.
“Say one more word. Go ahead.”
Gyujin delivered his final warning in a soft, measured voice.
Dajung folded his arms with a sulky expression.
Gyujin gave the doctor a small apologetic bow.
The consultation ended quickly after the room became abruptly quiet.
As he half-listened to the doctor continue speaking in circles, Gyujin resolved to come back again.
Next time, no matter what it takes, I’m leaving Kwon Dajung behind first.
“I understand, Doctor. Thank you.”
The moment Gyujin rose from his seat, Yoon Palsik and Kwon Dajung reacted at the exact same time.
Gyujin was nowhere near impaired enough to need help walking, yet both men stubbornly crowded in beside him anyway.
Palsik hurried ahead to open the examination room door, while Dajung pushed Gyujin’s IV pole for him.
Their devoted assistance might have been touching if Gyujin had found it remotely welcome.
“I told you, you really don’t need to go this far.... Palsik, go back to the Center. And Dajung, you should leave too.”
Gyujin might have been excused from work, but the other two were very much still on the clock.
He coldly warned the pair who were blatantly ditching their jobs.
“The workplace isn’t some joke. You can’t manage your attendance like this.”
Whether one was the Director of the Guide Center or an SS-rank Esper, there was still such a thing as basic workplace discipline.
With a firm expression, Gyujin took the IV pole out of Dajung’s hands.
“I can handle myself, so stop worrying. Go back.”
With that, he decisively turned away.
As Gyujin walked briskly down the corridor, Palsik started to follow, then hesitated.
Kwon Dajung had stayed exactly where he was.
Normally, no matter what Gyujin told him, Dajung would have stuck stubbornly to his side.
But not this time.
Before long, a considerable distance had opened between them and Gyujin.
Palsik scratched his head.
At first he had thought he was imagining things, but seeing the way Yoon Gyujin had just acted so coldly gave him a sudden certainty.
Looks like those two had a fight.
It was difficult to pinpoint exactly what felt off, but the atmosphere was strange.
Palsik cleared his throat and glanced at Dajung.
“Uh, well... aren’t you going after him? Gyujin’s already all the way over there....”
Palsik pointed discreetly toward Yoon Gyujin.
Dajung, who had remained motionless until then, suddenly said something completely unrelated.
“What do you think?”
“What?”
Dajung rubbed his chin.
Even then, his eyes continued following Yoon Gyujin’s back without wavering.
“About the situation. It’s not exactly realistic, is it? I mean, the world is always doing unrealistic shit, so maybe that part doesn’t matter, but I keep wondering how it would look to other people.”
What the hell is this bastard even talking about?
Palsik understood so little that he could not even react.
Whether Dajung noticed or not, his gaze had gone distant, like someone lost completely inside his own world.
“Yoon Gyujin is a man, but he’s pregnant, and my blood is growing inside that tiny belly of his. That means the blood of an SS-rank Esper and an S-rank Guide got mixed together.”
“...So what? What the hell are you trying to say?”
Palsik scratched his head furiously.
It was strange enough that Dajung had suddenly started turning the situation over in his mind, but Palsik had no idea why he had chosen to do it out loud in front of him.
“If you’ve got something bothering you, why didn’t you ask Gyujin directly while he was here? Or what, are your thoughts all tangled up too? Now that you’re actually going to be a father, you feel weird about it?”
Dajung had stood in front of Yoon Gyujin with his mouth clamped shut like a clam, so why was he suddenly saying all this now?
Palsik was just about to scold him further when Dajung answered in a subdued voice utterly unlike him.
“...You need the right to ask before you can ask something like that. I already told him not to have it. What kind of nerve would it take for me to start asking questions now? I’d practically be mocking him.”
Dajung swept a hand through his hair and released a deep sigh.
Palsik had been nodding absently, but his eyes suddenly widened.
“What the hell are you talking about? Told him not to have what? Who did? You? Have what? The baby?”
“I told Yoon Gyujin to terminate the pregnancy. I said I didn’t need some kid, so he should just get rid of it.”
Palsik sucked in a horrified breath.
He even slapped a hand over his mouth before stammering,
“W-wait, why the hell would you do that? You ran off earlier with a grin so huge I thought your face was going to split! Didn’t you two talk things out properly?”
Hadn’t Kwon Dajung bolted away without even looking back the instant he heard Gyujin was pregnant?
And now what?
Don’t have it?
“Hey, you fucking lunatic! How the hell could you say that to him?!”