The snow weasel swept the bamboo slips back into place with its tail, then lifted its head to gaze at Qing Ni’s face in the light.
She had the classic oval face—so petite it seemed a single palm could cup it entirely. Her eyes, distinct in their black and white contrast, had rounded inner corners, making her look as adorable as a girl straight out of a comic book.
This was precisely why the System had chosen to bind with Qing Ni—uncles love lolis. No middle-aged man weathered by life’s hardships could resist a pure, innocent loli who gazes at you as if you were her heaven, her earth, her entire world.
Facing a “SSS”-level target—Qin Shi Huang—no amount of caution was excessive!
“My original plan was for you to seduce Qin Shi Huang, enter his harem, and follow the route of deep affection and companionship, supplemented by using your looks to serve him. I never expected you to have a different idea—and one with even higher feasibility.”
The snow weasel stared at Qing Ni with sparkling eyes. “An elusive, ethereal Divine Maiden stirs far more desire for conquest than the girl-next-door who’s within easy reach.”
Don’t be fooled by her youthful appearance—when it came time to perform, every gesture and movement exuded the sacred, awe-inspiring aura of a Divine Maiden, enough to make people overlook her delicate, rose-like face.
It was truly lucky to have found such a skilled host. What excellent material for a favored concubine!
Qin Ni glanced several times at the bamboo slips recording myths. “System, do you have a way to cure Qin Shi Huang’s way of thinking?”
“What! You actually want to cure him!” The System was utterly shocked, its gaze filled with accusation. “Qin Shi Huang is forty years old now—old enough to be the father of those old men in Jinjiang novels. Historically, Qin Shi Huang died at forty-nine. Rounding up, everything he says now is his dying wish!”
Goodness, in just a few sentences, it had already jumped three time periods, fast-forwarding straight to “dying wish.”
Qing Ni couldn’t help but retort, “Was your math teacher a P.E. instructor? Forty rounded is zero.”
“That’s not important! You won’t even grant him one dying wish? Qing Ni, do you even have a heart?”
“But I don’t want to die,” Qing Ni said earnestly. “I can fake everything else, but how do I fake proficient dual cultivation postures in bed? If Qin Shi Huang discovers I’m a fraud, you and I will have to book a pit together and be buried alive.”
“Then why are you pretending to be a Divine Maiden?” The System was baffled. “I thought you already had a plan to deal with it, which is why you were so bold.”
Qing Ni smiled shyly. “Before becoming a favored concubine, the treatment isn’t great—you have to climb the ranks step by step. But being a Divine Maiden is different—it’s top-tier from the start.”
The System: “…”
Suddenly, Qing Ni heard a BGM playing—requested by the System. The melody sounded familiar, but she couldn’t quite place it… “What are you playing?”
“Unforgettable Tonight.”
“Ahem, don’t be disheartened. Alright, alright, I was just teasing you. I already had an idea for how to deceive Qin Shi Huang and complete the mission without sleeping with him when I decided to impersonate a Divine Maiden.”
“Really? I’m just a newly manufactured System baby—don’t lie to me.”
“Really! I want to complete the mission even more than you do. My air conditioner is still in the rental apartment!”
Hearing this last sentence, the System suddenly felt reassured at lightning speed.
—and released the emergency escape button, forcibly abandoning the mission and leaving the world together with the host.
"Then tell me about it?"
"I've been navigating the female-oriented genre for years, and I've seen countless romantic tropes. A mere Qin Shi Huang is nothing to me! Trust me, I've prepared a script for him that will be unforgettable, agonizing, sleepless, and make him lose interest in the harem. It will definitely leave a deeper impression on him than sleeping with the Divine Maiden! However, the specific process is too complicated, so I won't go into details."
"Really unforgettable?"
"Absolutely unforgettable!"
For example, presenting a world map—that should be unforgettable enough, right?
"Sleepless?"
"Don’t worry! Absolutely sleepless, giving him an extraordinary experience!"
The Qin dynasty is about to hit the highway, and as the driver holding the steering wheel, does he really think he can still go to bed early and wake up early every day? Come on, let’s prepare official documents by the pound!
"Making Qin Shi Huang suffer unbearably seems a bit difficult, doesn’t it? Are you really not fooling me?"
"No, no fooling you, really not fooling you. System dear, you have to believe me, I’m really not fooling you!"
Suffering unbearably—that’s a given. The next generation of princes, whether it’s the eldest Prince Fusu, known for his 'benevolence,' or Hu Hai, who originally led the Qin dynasty into decline and caused its collapse in the second generation, cannot bear the burden of reform. Qin Shi Huang’s health must be maintained—daily physical exercise for at least two hours, and a healthy diet with less oil and salt must be implemented.
"Can he really lose interest in the harem?"
"Of course!"
Losing interest in the harem… well, at least for the next three to five years, he won’t have time for the harem.
With this combination of moves, won’t it leave a deep impression on him?
The System murmured, "It sounds good, but my conscience can’t quite handle it."
"Huh?"
"I think…" After imagining a series of heart-wrenching, "chasing the wife to the crematorium" plots, the System said with a tone even more sincere than Qing Ni’s earlier, "Qin Shi Huang might feel that it would have been better to die at the age of forty-nine."
It’s not about what the System thinks; it’s about what Qing Ni thinks. For example, she believes that the First Emperor can still be saved.
The System map alerted her that the First Emperor was approaching. Qing Ni picked up a bamboo scroll recording myths and waited for the First Emperor to enter.
The Divine Maiden sat gracefully and composedly, her black hair cascading down her back, her features as exquisite as a painting. Sunlight filtered in, casting a delicate glow on her skin, making it appear as transparent as ice and snow.
"System, turn off the 'Unforgettable Tonight' BGM, thank you."
As soon as the First Emperor stepped over the threshold, he saw the Divine Maiden in her green dress trailing on the floor, her head slightly lowered, her starry eyes intently scanning the bamboo scroll. A few strands of hair fell beside her cheek, which she immediately tucked behind her ear.
As if sensing the First Emperor’s gaze, the Divine Maiden looked up, her eyes sparkling with a hint of mischief in her smile. "Your Majesty… was thinking about this?"
Those bamboo scrolls were intentionally left out by the First Emperor—those related to politics had already been stored away. Faced with the Divine Maiden’s amused gaze, the First Emperor paused for a moment before sitting down opposite her and replied candidly, "Yes."
"Does Your Majesty seek immortality?"
"Yes."
"Does Your Majesty know that immortality is difficult to attain and the path is perilous?"
"Please enlighten me, Master."
At this moment, it was time for Journey to the West to step in. Qing Ni recalled the words Patriarch Subodhi spoke to Sun Wukong and repeated them: "The path to immortality defies the heavens, seizing the creation of heaven and earth, encroaching upon the mysteries of the sun and moon. Once the elixir is formed, neither gods nor ghosts will tolerate it. Five hundred years later, heavenly thunder will strike you. If you evade it, your lifespan will equal the heavens; if you fail, your life will end there."
The First Emperor recalled the lightning and thunder atop Taishan that had nearly turned night into day, overwhelming and all-encompassing, and his brows furrowed deeply.
The Divine Maiden continued speaking: "Another five hundred years later, heavenly fire will descend to burn you. This fire is neither celestial fire nor mortal fire; it is called 'Yin Fire.' It ignites from the Yongquan acupoint at the base of your body, penetrates straight to the Muddy Pellet Palace, turning your five viscera to ashes and your four limbs to decay, rendering a thousand years of arduous cultivation utterly illusory."
"Another five hundred years later, a wind calamity will descend to blow upon you. This wind is not the east, south, west, or north wind, nor the gentle, fragrant, golden, or northern wind, nor the wind of flowers, willows, pines, or bamboos. It is called the 'Bi Wind.' It blows from the fontanel into the six hollow organs, passes through the dantian, pierces the nine orifices, dissolving flesh and bones until the body disintegrates on its own."
"Only then can one leap beyond the Three Realms and Five Elements to glimpse immortality."
The air seemed to grow still, with only the faint fragrance from the incense burner slowly permeating the space.
For a moment, the First Emperor did not speak, so Qing Ni remained quiet as well, maintaining the Divine Maiden's dignified composure.
Whether it was three breaths or five, the First Emperor finally spoke: "I fear nothing." His shadow slanted across the wall, unmoving and unwavering.
The Divine Maiden merely gazed at him, her eyes carrying a faint, unique pity that deities hold when observing all things in the world. "But…"
"You lack a Spiritual Root."
The First Emperor had long been mentally prepared. Now that he saw the Divine Maiden was in a clear state, he asked directly: "Is there no remedy?" After a pause, he steeled himself and said: "Even castration would be acceptable!"
Qing Ni: "…"
System: "…"
A thousand words condensed into a single exclamation of shock.
The First Emperor turned his head and called out: "Zhao Gao."
A man answered and walked in. Qing Ni curiously looked over.
This was Zhao Gao, the infamous treacherous minister in history. If not for him, after the First Emperor's death, conspiring with the eighteenth prince Hu Hai and Prime Minister Li Si to forge the imperial edict, forcing the First Emperor's eldest son Fusu to commit suicide and facilitating Hu Hai's ascension to the throne, the Qin dynasty might not have ended in the second generation… counting Qin Wang Ziying, who reigned for only 46 days, it could barely be said to have perished in three generations.
Unlike the sly and cunning appearance often depicted in films and dramas, this Zhao Gao was tall, robust, and his appearance was above average.
"Your Majesty. State Preceptor." As soon as Zhao Gao entered, he bowed to each in turn, his demeanor calm, and he did not flinch even under the Divine Maiden's gaze.
In fact, a hint of joy was suppressed in his eyes.
His Majesty and the Divine Maiden were speaking and had summoned him inside. Could it be that there was some immense benefit about to…
The First Emperor pointed at Zhao Gao and looked at Qing Ni with hopeful anticipation. "Esteemed one, is he perhaps suitable?"
…What? Testing medicine could be done by others first, but could castration also be tested by someone else first?!
A storm of shock surged within Qing Ni's heart. However, she steadied herself, not letting her composure break. She only hesitated: "This…" This isn't quite appropriate, is it?
Qing Ni looked up at Zhao Gao. "Are you truly willing…"
Unaware of the task Qin Shi Huang intended to assign him, Zhao Gao replied without hesitation: "This humble official is willing!"
Qing Ni: "…" She decided to try once more to dissuade him, giving him a chance to remain a complete man: "It will cause harm to your body."
Zhao Gao's eyes lit up—such a wonderful opportunity?! Getting injured for His Majesty—a direct path to promotion and nobility!
"What does injury matter?!" His words were firm and resolute. "For His Majesty, Zhao Gao would gladly die a hundred deaths!"
Qing Ni: "…" Damn it! Is he really that eager to become the first eunuch in Chinese history?! Touching her conscience, she tried again to dissuade him. "This matter is actually quite humiliating…"
Zhao Gao: "!!!" He even gets to be humiliated for His Majesty?! When has Zhao Gao ever cared about face?! Finally! His opportunity has arrived at last! What a direct ladder to the heavens!
With a solemn expression, he declared firmly: "Zhao Gao swears loyalty to His Majesty. Personal honor and disgrace—when have they ever mattered to me?!"
Qing Ni: "…" This is hopeless! Ying Zheng, do your ministers have to be this loyal?! She was about to say something, but fell silent, closing her eyes in resignation.
The First Emperor understood—the Divine Maiden had acquiesced. He smiled. "Better sooner than later." He looked at Zhao Gao. "Zhao Gao, go castrate yourself now."
Zhao Gao: "…?"
Zhao Gao: "!!"
In Qing Ni's mind, she suddenly heard the System "ding—": Achievement unlocked 【Castration for Eternal Peace (Make Qin Shi Huang jealous for you by having one of his beloved ministers castrated!)】