An axe is an excellent tool for conversation.
No matter how uncooperative a person might be, the moment you smiled and pressed an axe against their neck, they became docile on the spot.
The notion that conversation required language was mere prejudice. With an axe, you could communicate fluently with anyone in the world.
Such was the insanity that Mr. Rockwood lived and breathed.
"This unholy wretch! I know what you're hiding in that body!"
Accordingly, the man didn't even attempt dialogue like 'What do you think you're doing?! Apologize this instant!'
Why bother with an argument?
He was better with an axe than with words.
"I'll split you in two and reveal that wicked form!"
Mr. Rockwood hurled his axe without preamble.
It flew with precision, aimed straight at the head.
"......What the hell."
The guard yelped and twisted out of the way.
Drawing a sword and desperately trying to deflect the axe.
Being hired security for the Alchemy Guild, at least. Managing to respond to a surprise attack with some degree of speed.
A deep gash across the cheek was the extent of the damage, but.
THWAM—!
Mr. Rockwood laughed heartily and kicked off the ground.
Launching forward in an instant, closing the distance to the guard.
Leaping at an enemy meant entering their striking range. One ought to at least prepare some defense.
Yet Mr. Rockwood charged in with no defensive preparation whatsoever.
'Why would I bother preparing a defense? If I kill them before they can attack, I win, don't I?' -- that was his philosophy.
Reckless, but the overwhelming speed born from that recklessness was something else.
CLAAANG—!
Sword met axe in a clash.
But the guard had failed to assume a proper defensive stance. Apparently capable of magic too, the guard had been mid-cast when the sudden assault forced an emergency block.
It wouldn't be long before the guard's form crumbled.
"......Boss! Let me provide support!"
Rang shouted at me amid the chaos.
I glanced her way and said lightly.
"Don't worry, Rockwood alone is more than enough here. Besides, didn't you say it's better not to use your power out in the open?"
But in a rare turn, Rang disagreed.
"No, we're running out of time. Right now it looks like Mr. Rockwood has the upper hand, but. Fundamentally, his weapon is......"
And Rang turned out to be more experienced than she looked.
Perhaps all that wandering and fighting had honed her. At her age, she could already read the flow of a battle and predict what was coming.
Soon, exactly what Rang had warned about came to pass.
CRRRACK—!
In skill, Mr. Rockwood was clearly superior.
A sword learned from an instructor hired by a comfortable father, versus weapon arts tempered across thousands of battlefields. In sheer experience, Rockwood held the overwhelming edge.
But skill wasn't the only thing that mattered in combat.
"Bad luck. Should've brought a better weapon."
The guard sneered with displeasure.
On one side, a sword crafted from presumably expensive material. On the other, an axe so old it had rusted through.
Naturally, the axe couldn't hold and began to crack.
Rockwood's weapon was about to give out.
Rang gritted her teeth at the sight. She was probably about to step in and unleash her power, but.
I calmly blocked her path.
"Relax. I told you it'd be fine."
No further explanation was needed.
Seeing is believing, as they say. The scene unfolding before them said everything.
KRAAANG—!
With a tremendous crash, the axe finally shattered.
The guard settled into a smug stance.
And swung the sword at the now-unarmed Rockwood.
Swung, but.......
"......Huh?"
The guard's face was colored with bewilderment.
Understandably so, because Rockwood had caught it.
"The-- the sword...... with bare hands?"
Blood gushed from the hand.
But what spread across Mr. Rockwood's face was a smile of pure bliss. He grinned with pride and declared.
"I am the foremost apostle of the Saint, blessed by his almighty hand. Pain means nothing to me, and death cannot claim me. How could an apostle fall to a sword wielded by the likes of you?"
Hearing this, Rang whipped around to look at me in alarm.
"......Boss, you can bestow blessings too?!"
And that was precisely what made Mr. Rockwood so outrageous.
"I've never bestowed any blessing."
A blessing of immortality? If I had one, I'd go find terminal patients and bless them, spending my time healing the sick.
The blessing of immortality didn't even exist in the first place.
What was happening here was very simple.
"That's just...... purely his own constitution."
The Saint blessed me, so I feel no pain. A conviction bordering on madness, overwhelming the physical sensation of pain.
"Gwahahaha! The Saint's blessing truly is incredible! A sword and a hand collided, and it sounded like iron clashing with iron! What kind of blessing did you bestow upon me, Saint?"
......What on earth was this man? He was almost frightening.
And perhaps sharing the same sentiment.
The guard's face went ghostly pale in an instant.
The situation was spiraling somewhere strange. Realizing this and groping for a solution, but it was far, far too late.
"You asked me just now, didn't you? Why I used a rusty old weapon instead of a good one. What a stupid question!"
Mr. Rockwood let out a booming laugh.
Laughed heartily, gripped the enemy's sword tight in his bare hand, and......
Casually twisted and snapped it in two.
"When I see a good weapon, I just take it. Why would I spend my own money on one? Any spare money should be donated to the Saint. Don't you have even that much common sense?"
The broken blade ended up in Rockwood's hand.
He'd snapped the sword and taken it, so there was no handle.
No handle, just a bare blade -- but to Mr. Rockwood, handles were tools only the feeble relied on.
The man gripped the blade like a dagger and grinned.
"You dared hurl your saliva-covered scraps at the Saint. As punishment, I'll take what's inside you and......"
"......There are minors present, Mr. Rockwood."
"As expected of the Saint! So considerate! In that case, I shall rephrase my intention to rip out your innards by hand and decorate you with them! Let me think of a gentler way to put it!"
......He'd already said the whole thing.
The guard's face went even paler upon hearing this.
"S-support! Somebody -- anybody -- I need backup!"
The other guards who'd been watching the entrance. The guard screamed for their help, but.
No help was coming even if he screamed.
Because they were all in the same situation.
"How dare you insult our Saint, you godless fiend!"
The slum folk were shouting.
None of them were anywhere near as strong as Mr. Rockwood, granted. That man was so exceptional it was debatable whether he was even human.
The guards weren't weak either. Being trusted enough for a guild of this stature to hire them meant they had real skill.
But the difference in numbers was too overwhelming.
"Kill them!"
"String up the heretic!"
There were only four guards.
They were outnumbered by a factor of twenty.
Even numbers alone couldn't overcome everything, but here they were. With Mr. Rockwood tying up one guard solo, three guards against several dozen people was simply not going to work.
No number of men can stand before the army, as the saying went.
Just as the guards were crumbling one by one.
The door opened with a long creak.
"......What on earth is all this commotion?"
With a racket like this happening outside.
It would be stranger if no one inside had heard the fighting.
Naturally, the alchemists from inside the guild came out.
"......What is this?"
An alchemist regarded them with eyes full of wariness. Staff drawn, preparing to cast a spell.
Mr. Rockwood whispered to me in a confident voice.
"Don't you worry! I'll handle every last one of them. The branch chief is supposedly some geezer with one foot in the grave. If I just scare him, maybe he'll drop dead of a heart attack! Gwahaha."
"Please stop. The guards picked the fight, so fine. But if you start attacking guild members too, what's the point?"
I quickly restrained Mr. Rockwood.
"We came here to hire someone to renovate our workshop in the first place. If we smash the very people who are supposed to do the renovating, what good does that do? Obviously we need to explain the situation and sort this out."
Mr. Rockwood seemed to understand, thankfully.
"Understood! I, Rockwood, shall proceed immediately to explain the situation......"
"Just stand still."
"Yes, sir!"
An absurdly enthusiastic response.
I thought for a moment and reached a conclusion.
'......I'm going to have to step in myself.'
I looked around, and everyone was insane.
The only person here with any common sense was me.
The situation had gone a bit sideways, to put it mildly. It followed that I was also the only one capable of explaining things properly and clearing up the misunderstanding.
I was a tad worried about whether I could pull it off, but.
'Well, it's not that difficult, is it?'
The accessory you equipped to build trust was a smile.
There was a reason for the saying that no one spits on a smiling face. Might as well put on a proper customer-service smile.
We were simply law-abiding, ordinary customers.
I had enough confidence to make that case convincingly.
I stepped forward without hesitation.
***
The secretary to the Alchemy Guild's branch chief.
She felt as though her head was about to explode.
The guards were fighting intruders. That alone was unusual enough, but on top of that, the guards were losing.
She couldn't begin to understand what was happening.
But what happened next was even more incomprehensible.
"Everyone, please calm down."
There had clearly been a melee.
Guild guards and slum dwellers tangled together in a mess of screams, shouts, blunt weapons, and magic. It had been utter chaos.
Yet that battlefield fell silent in an instant.
All because that man had uttered a single sentence. The people who'd been rampaging moments ago were instantly silenced.
"I'll take it from here."
At that one command, every head bowed.
The people who had been raging like animals, each and every one of them, looked at their master with fanatical devotion in their eyes, signaling their obedience.
A scene too bizarre for words.
The branch chief's secretary was frozen in place, overwhelmed.
But the man walked forward with perfect composure.
Despite the staff leveled directly at him.
As though her magic posed no threat to him whatsoever.
"There was a small disturbance, but this was merely an unfortunate incident caused by the guards mistaking us for intruders and attacking, which we then responded to. I humbly ask for your understanding."
......An inscrutable smile whose depths could not be read.
"The reason I've come here is quite simple."
A figure who appeared to be a lord of the underworld.
An entity that had come to take over the Alchemy Guild. An unidentified assailant commanding brainwashed fanatics who answered only to him.
The man let those golden eyes gleam as he spoke.
"Would it be possible to have a word with the branch chief?"
Killing every single one of you would be such a bore.
So bring your boss before me.