15
Ever since Xie Xuanchen had woken up, taking the food box in and out had become the most nerve-wracking moment of Mu Mingtang’s day. Fortunately, the prince’s mansion valued appearances, and the master’s three daily meals followed a fixed routine even if the food couldn’t be finished, it still had to be laid out. Relying on her image as a glutton, Mu Mingtang had managed to single-handedly provide for the entire household.
From the very first day she entered the mansion, Mu Mingtang had been particular about food. She had no real sense of her own standing and kept pestering the kitchen with a long list of demands. The kitchen staff and the captain of the guards had long since grown accustomed to her being difficult. So, when she started changing her menu every day, shifting from heavy, meaty dishes to nutritious, restorative ones, they didn’t find it at all surprising.
There was nothing this princess consort wouldn’t dare to do. If she ever went a single day without causing some kind of commotion, that was when they would start worrying that she was up to something.
That evening, Mu Mingtang brought the food box inside and found Xie Xuanchen already asleep. He could now stay awake for about two hours a day. Though still not long, thanks to the nourishing food, his energy when awake had greatly improved. At least now he wouldn’t just nod off while sitting up.
He could now sit up on his own, but he still needed help to walk—and even then, he could only manage a few steps before needing to stop and rest. Mu Mingtang was very patient and never rushed him.
He had probably woken up in the afternoon and was still asleep now. Mu Mingtang knelt by the bedside and gently called out to him. “Your highness, it’s time for dinner.”
She called several times, but Xie Xuanchen didn’t respond. Assuming he would sleep a little longer, she set the food box down and went to the eastern chamber to light the lamps.
Because Xie Xuanchen had woken up, Mu Mingtang didn’t dare open the doors or windows all day. Though it was still bright outside, the room had already grown somewhat dim. Starting from the easternmost lamp, Mu Mingtang lit the Jade Qilin Hall one by one.
When Xie Xuanchen woke up, the first thing he saw was that the familiar figure was missing, and an unfamiliar sense of unease washed over him. He slowly propped himself up into a sitting position. The movement wasn’t exactly quiet, yet even after a moment, the hall remained empty.
A sudden chill ran through Xie Xuanchen’s heart.
She’s gone?
He didn’t know where this sudden feeling of desolation came from. He had always known she would leave, hadn’t he? The moment he woke up, he had noticed that Mu Mingtang didn’t sleep beside him. He had felt nothing about it at the time, even thinking that keeping their distance was for the best.
They were husband and wife in name only, really just two tenants living under the same roof. Even devoted children rarely stayed by a parent’s sickbed for long, let alone strangers bound by marriage. Xie Xuanchen had never expected, from the very beginning, that Mu Mingtang would stay by his side.
She had already done more than enough by accompanying him these past few days and unlocking his shackles. If she had slipped away now to avoid being dragged down by him for the rest of her life, that would at least be the final good deed in his life.
Logically, Xie Xuanchen understood all of this but his heart still felt hollow. It’s the same outcome again. Another such ending. He had been abandoned by the entire world. Everyone stood on the opposite side, watching him, wary of him, questioning him.
As if he were no longer a human being, but an irrational animal that knew only how to kill.
Xie Xuanchen sat on the bed for a long time without moving, his gaze calm and indifferent, like a barren desert where nothing could grow. When Mu Mingtang returned from lighting the lamps and saw him sitting there motionless, she asked in surprise, “Your highness, what are you staring at?”
Xie Xuanchen’s eyes shifted. He turned back to look at her in astonishment. “You didn’t leave?”
“No,” Mu Mingtang replied, utterly bewildered. “It got dark, so I went to light the lamps. Where would I go?”
Xie Xuanchen looked at her, his eyes deep and complex, as if they held a multitude of meanings. But in the end, he turned away without saying a word.
Mu Mingtang had grown accustomed to Xie Xuanchen’s odd temperament. She set down the lamp and walked to the table, opening the food box layer by layer. “Today I had them make bone broth. You are what you eat—bone broth is excellent for the legs and feet. It’s a pity you can’t be exposed to light right now, otherwise I really should take you outside to get some sun.”
Mu Mingtang arranged the dishes and, as usual, brought them to Xie Xuanchen. Although he was staying awake for longer periods now, it was still best for him to rest quietly, so she continued to feed him. She hadn’t thought much of it at first—she fed him the soup, and he drank it in silence. But after a while, she noticed that something was off about Xie Xuanchen today.
He seemed to have something on his mind. This quietness wasn’t like him at all.
Mu Mingtang didn’t mention it. She waited until the soup was finished, then put the bowl and spoon back into the food box before asking, “Your highness, when you woke up today, did you think I had left?”
“No.”
He said no, so Mu Mingtang didn’t press further. She could only hint more gently, “Don’t worry. We’re in the same boat now. If you rise, I rise; if you fall, I fall. I won’t leave. Besides, there are all those guards stationed outside. Even if I wanted to run away, there’s no escaping now.”
Xie Xuanchen turned his face to look at the lamps in the hall. The Jade Qilin Hall consisted of seven connected rooms. Though they were separated by many screens, he could vaguely see that the lamplight stretched all the way to the easternmost study. The flickering flames reflected in his pupils. After a moment, he asked, “There’s no one in those other rooms. Why light the lamps?”
“Lighting the lamps makes it feel like home. Even if no one is in the other rooms, this is still the main hall of the prince’s mansion. We have to maintain some semblance of dignity.”
“The dignity of a prince’s mansion?” Xie Xuanchen laughed. “Why bother? Just a waste of effort.”
“That won’t do. Even if I’m just a princess consort in name only, I still have to keep up appearances. Besides, I have nothing else to do all day. Walking around the hall a few extra times counts as exercise.”
Xie Xuanchen was silent for a moment. Then, leaning back against his pillow, he said, “If you hadn’t married me, you wouldn’t be trapped here, unable to even go outside. My confinement was ordered by the late emperor—it’s fine that I’m locked up. But you have nothing to do with any of this. There’s no reason for you to waste your life by my side. In a few days, when the patrols outside relax a little, you should slip away quietly.”
“There you go again.” This time, Mu Mingtang was genuinely a bit angry. “Why do you keep trying to send me away? Am I really that unpleasant for you to look at?”
“Don’t play word games with me. I’m not falling for that. Let’s stick to the facts. The Jiang family gave you a decent dowry. Take some of the gold and silver, whatever is easy to sell and leave. If you’re worried about being discovered when you try to convert it to cash later, take from the mansion’s treasury instead. I may be a hollow shell these years, but I still have some savings. Ensuring you have enough to live comfortably for the rest of your life won’t be a problem.”
“Why?” Mu Mingtang’s stubbornness flared up as well. “We’ve already gone through the wedding ceremony. We are legitimately husband and wife. If you send me away, either you die and I, as a widow, take my dowry and remarry, or you divorce me, and we go our separate ways. You’re still perfectly alive right now. If it’s not remarriage, then are you divorcing me?”
“If you insist on seeing it that way, fine.” Xie Xuanchen said. “If you’re worried, take a letter of separation with you. If the court ever catches up with you, you can say that I allowed you to remarry. Go to the study, in the drawer under the curio cabinet, and get the brush and paper…”
“Will you stop!” Mu Mingtang was furious. She flung her sleeves and stood up. “If you’re so capable, go get the brush and write it yourself. I’m done waiting on you.”
With that, Mu Mingtang picked up the food box and went back to her own room. Xie Xuanchen sat in the bedchamber for a long time, finally confirming that someone had just lost her temper with him.
In all his years, he had given countless people the cold shoulder. He had been the master of his own house since childhood—even his father couldn’t control him with a stick, and he had never curbed his temper in front of the emperor either. But just now, Mu Mingtang had given him attitude?
Xie Xuanchen was utterly astonished. It took him a long time to recover.
After a while, Mu Mingtang finished her meal and placed the food box outside the door. The captain of the guards asked his routine question, only to be met with a fierce glare from Mu Mingtang.
The captain was utterly bewildered. What was that for? He hadn’t done anything wrong?
Mu Mingtang returned inside and stormed back to her own room. A little later, she heard a noise from the other room. She came out and saw Xie Xuanchen standing, holding onto the bed frame. She stepped forward to support him and said matter-of-factly, “You can’t move easily right now. If you knock into something, it’ll alert the people outside. Let me help you.”
Xie Xuanchen gave a low “mm” in acknowledgment. Neither of them spoke. They walked slowly for a while, and in this manner, they both awkwardly managed to smooth things over.
Xie Xuanchen always needed to walk a little after meals. He would take a few steps, stop, and when he’d had enough, Mu Mingtang would help him back. She helped him sit down, then quickly propped a pillow behind him—smooth and efficient.
Once Xie Xuanchen was settled, Mu Mingtang sat by the bedside. She didn’t leave immediately but paused for a moment before saying, “Your highness, I recall a saying from Zhuangzi, but I can’t remember the exact words. It was about two people watching fish from a bridge…”
It was too obvious. Xie Xuanchen couldn’t hold back. “Just say what you mean.”
Fair enough. Even Mu Mingtang felt she was being too indirect. She coughed awkwardly and said, “It’s that phrase: ‘You are not the fish—how do you know what brings the fish joy?’ You think I’m trapped here and want to arrange for me to leave. But how do you know that I don’t want to stay? What if I’m simply lacking in ambition and actually enjoy being a parasite—supported by someone else and not having to work?”
She said this so unashamedly that Xie Xuanchen raised an eyebrow. Mu Mingtang adjusted the position of his pillow and continued, unabashed, “I really do like this kind of life, where I don’t have to struggle. Your highness, just let me stay in the mansion and live off you. Isn’t it wonderful to have the court cover all my expenses? I have absolutely no desire to run outside and fend for myself.”
Twisting the argument. Xie Xuanchen wasn’t buying it. “When I was playing mind games with people, you were probably still nursing. If you want to idle your life away, take some gold and jewels, find yourself a scenic spot, and squander them there. Why stay here to wait for death?”
“But if I do that, eventually the money will run out. As long as I stay in the prince’s mansion, I’ll never be able to spend all the money.”
Her reasoning was so simple and straightforward that Xie Xuanchen was momentarily at a loss for words. Mu Mingtang smiled triumphantly. “So, this is my own choice. My dream ever since I was little has been to not have to struggle, to just idle my life away. Now that I’ve finally achieved it, your highness, you can’t go destroying someone else’s dream.”
Xie Xuanchen was speechless. After a moment, he asked, “Why?”
“What?”
“Why are you so determined to stay? Xie Xuanji was right. If you stay with me now, I can’t give you anything anymore.”
“That doesn’t matter.” Mu Mingtang smiled, her eyes curving into crescents. The candlelight reflected in them, making them sparkle like stars. “Because you are my savior, the great hero in my heart. As long as I can stay by your side, I am already very, very happy.”
Xie Xuanchen was momentarily stunned by this answer. He recovered himself after a fleeting moment and immediately gave a cold laugh. “You only say that because you haven’t seen me when I go mad. Everyone before you talked the same way—no expectations, loyal unto death. But after I lost my mind just twice, they all scattered.”
Mu Mingtang knew how resolute her own feelings were, but she didn’t know how to convey that to Xie Xuanchen. She could only reaffirm, “Your highness, illnesses can be cured. Look at you now—you’ve been gentle and easygoing for several days in a row.”
It was a feat in itself that Mu Mingtang could utter the nonsense words “gentle and easygoing.” Xie Xuanchen scoffed. “Not every time I’m awake do I lose my mind. It’s a matter of probability. If you’re truly determined to stay, the moment I go mad, the first person to die will likely be you.”
“I’m not afraid.” Mu Mingtang answered immediately. After speaking, she looked cautiously at Xie Xuanchen. “Does that mean you agree to let me stay? You won’t try to send me away again?”
Xie Xuanchen didn’t answer. Mu Mingtang took that as assent. She stood up happily and said, “It’s getting late, your highness. You should sleep first. See you tomorrow.”
With that, Mu Mingtang took her lamp and left. She dared not leave any open flame in Xie Xuanchen’s room. Every single candle had to be extinguished under her own watch before she could leave.
Mu Mingtang blew out the lamps in the bedchamber, then walked eastward. The lights went out one by one. Outside the Jade Qilin Hall, the patrolling guards saw the lamps inside gradually being extinguished and knew that night had fallen.
The lamps that the Princess Consort of Qiyang lit each day had become the boundary between day and night, between light and darkness, within the prince’s mansion.
**