When someone says “meat dishes,” what comes to mind first?
Steak? Roast beef? Fried chicken wasn’t a bad option either.
But my personal favorite meat dish—
“HAAAAAMBURG STEEEEEEAK!!”
Maybe I should’ve ordered a vibraslap online beforehand for dramatic effect.
…No, that would’ve been a complete waste of points.
Anyway, today we were making hamburg steak.
First, I finely diced some onions and sautéed them over medium heat until they softened and turned translucent.
Into a large bowl went the ground beef and pork, followed by the sautéed onions, breadcrumbs soaked in milk, and eggs.
This time, to make it feel more like a hearty meat dish, I adjusted the ratio to eighty percent beef and twenty percent pork.
Then came salt, pepper, and a suitable amount of nutmeg.
After that, I kneaded the mixture relentlessly until it developed a sticky consistency.
“And now—catch ball time!!”
For the record, I wasn’t literally throwing it around.
You slap the meat between your palms to remove trapped air, then shape it into an oval patty while making a shallow dent in the center.
Once that was done, I placed the patties onto a frying pan and cooked one side until it developed a rich brown sear. Then I flipped them, added a small amount of water, covered the pan with a lid, and let them steam.
That way, the inside cooked thoroughly as well.
“Undercooked meat’s no joke. Gotta make sure the center’s fully done.”
I pierced one with a bamboo skewer.
Clear juices flowed out.
Perfect.
After evaporating the remaining moisture, I transferred the hamburg steaks onto plates.
Next came the sauce.
“Normally I’d just pour premade steak sauce over it and call it a day, but this time I need Raphiel-san’s forgiveness, so I’m making the sauce properly too!!”
The juices left behind in the frying pan after cooking the meat were concentrated flavor bombs.
Throwing them away would be a crime.
I added ketchup, Worcestershire sauce, red wine, and butter into the pan and simmered everything together.
For the sides, simple salted broccoli would do nicely, along with potato wedges soaked in water beforehand and then deep-fried in salad oil.
Then all that remained was plating it—
Done!!
“Uh… Eight-niichan? You’ve been randomly shouting and talking to yourself this whole time. It’s kinda scary…”
“Yeah, Eight-nii does that sometimes.”
“That’s one of the cute things about Eight-onii-chan though?”
Incidentally, because all the adults in the village were busy dealing with the goblin corpses, Luka and the others ended up staying for dinner tonight too.
Growing kids ate a lot, so I made extra portions for seconds.
Grana was still helping the villagers dispose of goblin bodies, so I left her share uncooked in the refrigerator for now.
…Though honestly, after handling goblin corpses, would she even still have an appetite for meat?
Well, if not, I’d think of something else later.
“Eight, pardon me for bathing before everyone else.”
“Ah, Raphiel-san. Perfect timing. It’s just finished. And if I do say so myself, it came out amazingly.”
Fresh out of the bath, Raphiel approached the table, and I placed the hamburg steak before her.
“…Is this steak?”
“Raphiel-neesan, you don’t know? This is hamburg steak!!”
“…Hamburg?”
The children gathered around the table with sparkling eyes.
Luka especially looked excited.
“Eight-onii-chan made this for my birthday before, and it was CRAZY delicious!!”
“…I see?”
“But why hamburg today? Is it to celebrate beating the goblins?”
“Ah… well, something like that.”
There was no way I could explain to children that this meal was actually an apology offering for accidentally groping Raphiel’s chest.
“C-Come on, eat before it gets cold.”
“Then let us begin.”
The moment Raphiel cut into the hamburg steak with her knife, juices burst forth from inside.
She sliced off a bite-sized piece, brought it gracefully to her lips, chewed several times—
Then swallowed.
And afterward—
Raphiel fell completely silent.
“…”
“H-Huh? W-Was it not very good…?”
“…What’s this?”
“Hamburg steak…?”
“When I lived within the Grand Temple of the royal capital of the Kingdom of Elde, I occasionally dined alongside royalty. During those banquets, I once ate Minotaur steak.”
Minotaur…
If I remembered correctly—
“Hey hey, what’s a minotaur?”
“Luka, you idiot. You don’t even know that?”
“U-Um, it’s a cow-type monster. I heard it tastes super delicious, but it’s also super strong, so even high-ranked adventurers struggle against it, which makes it a really expensive luxury food.”
As expected of someone with authority second only to royalty.
Even her food was absurdly high-class.
Still, why bring up minotaur steak all of a sudden?
“The meat of a Minotaur was certainly delicious. However… this hamburg steak surpasses it by far.”
“Uh… thank you?”
“First, the meat juices. It’s unbelievably juicy, and the more one chews, the more flavor overflows from within. Yet despite that richness, it never becomes overwhelming.”
“Ah, maybe that’s because of the nutmeg? A cookbook I read said it helps eliminate the meat smell while improving the aroma.”
“Compared to this, a merely grilled Minotaur steak is little more than shoe leather.”
That was such a savage comparison I almost felt bad for the Minotaur.
“These potatoes are wonderfully fluffy, and the broccoli possesses the perfect amount of saltiness. Out of everything I’ve eaten in my life, this is unquestionably the most delicious. It’s the supreme flavor.”
“No, that’s definitely overpraising it…”
“Thank you for the meal. Eight, it was truly delicious. If there are seconds, please give me more.”
“Wait, you already finished!?”
After that, Raphiel asked for three more servings.
Eventually I even surrendered my own portion to her.
Honestly, watching someone eat so enthusiastically was weirdly satisfying.
“I’m full now. I can eat no more.”
“Says the woman who got three refills.”
“You got seconds twice too!!”
“Eight-onii-chan, thank you for the food.”
“Glad you enjoyed it.”
After dinner, I carried the used dishes into the kitchen and began washing them.
“Eight, after eating so much, I’ve become sleepy. I shall retire for the night.”
“If you sleep immediately after eating, you’ll turn into a cow… er, I mean, a Minotaur, you know?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Nothing.”
I’d tried giving the old saying a fantasy-world twist, but it clearly didn’t land.
“Eight-niichan!! We’re gonna sleep too!! Raphiel-neesan, let’s play games in your room!!”
“You clearly have zero intention of sleeping, Luka.”
“…I, however, wish to sleep.”
“Come on, come on!! Time for a rematch from earlier!! Night, Eight-niichan!! Let’s go, Nor! Rio!”
Luka, Nor, and Rio all seemed intent on barging straight into Raphiel’s room together.
Yeah…
Those kids were absolutely staying up late tonight.
“Mmnn… today was exhausting…”
After finishing the dishes, I rested my cheek against one hand and let out a tired sigh.
Then suddenly—
An overwhelming wave of sleepiness hit me.
Unable to resist, I collapsed face-first onto the table.
◆ ◇ ◆
“Mm… crap, did I fall asleep?”
Rubbing my eyes, I checked the clock.
It was already two in the morning.
…Well, damn.
Everyone in the village had been working themselves to death disposing of goblin corpses while I’d slept like a log.
That honestly made me feel guilty.
Next village gathering, I’d bring expensive sweets and tea as an apology.
“Fuaaah… I’m sleepy, but I should at least take a bath.”
Carrying a change of clothes, I headed toward the bath area.
Just before stepping through the noren curtain for the men’s bath, I noticed something strange.
The women’s bath still had its lights on.
“Did Raphiel-san forget to turn off the lights in the women’s bath? What a waste of electricity… ah, right, we’re not paying for that here.”
This house had originally been an inn, so the baths were separated into men’s and women’s sections.
As a guy, walking through the women’s bath curtain felt weirdly immoral.
Still, as the acting caretaker, I needed to turn the lights off properly.
Thinking that, I pushed through the curtain and opened the door—
“…Hm?”
“Eh, who are you!?”
Standing there inside the women’s bath was an unfamiliar beauty with blazing crimson hair like living fire.
She was nearly two meters tall.
Large breasts, a narrow waist, and wide, voluptuous hips built perfectly for childbirth.
Her stomach was lightly toned with visible abs, her entire body muscular yet beautifully feminine.
She was gorgeous.
…No, wait, that wasn’t the issue here!!
“Seriously, WHO are you!?”
“Come to think of it, I never showed you my true appearance before. It’s I. Grana.”
“EH!? Grana-san!? You’re a woman!?”
“Indeed. I’m a woman. …Though whether someone with scars upon her face deserves to be called one is another matter.”
“Huh? Ah… you’re right.”
There really was a scar running across Grana’s cheek.
Still, against the overwhelming impact of her beauty, it barely even registered.
…No, focus. Apologize first.
“S-Sorry!! I thought Raphiel accidentally left the women’s bath lights on!! I’ll leave immediately!!”
“No, your timing is actually convenient. There’s something I wished to discuss.”
“…Eh?”
“In your world, there exists a custom where people deepen friendships by washing each other’s backs, does there not?”
“…Huh!?”
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