Liu Liu gasped sharply. “How on earth did you pull that off???”
Tears of pain practically streamed down Sang Nian’s face. “I let my guard down; I didn’t dodge.”
Defeated by her sheer ineptitude, Liu Liu admonished, “Remember to dodge next time.”
Sang Nian sniffled, took a deep breath, and swung the whip in her hand once more.
Xie Chenzhou’s gaze grew increasingly frigid.
“Crack—!”
A violent gust of wind swept through the room, sending the gauze curtains billowing. The tables and chairs split right down the middle, while teacups and porcelain vases shattered into a chaotic mess across the floor. The peanuts, red dates, and longans spilled from the fruit platter bounced everywhere.
In her panic, she accidentally stepped on one of the jujubes and went skidding down with a loud thud.
The entire room was an absolute disaster zone.
Yet Xie Chenzhou, sitting on the bed, remained completely unscathed.
Not even a single strand of his hair was out of place.
Sang Nian was dumbfounded.
Xie Chenzhou: “……”
Liu Liu: “……”
A heavy, suffocating silence settled over the room.
“As—As expected of a heavenly-grade artifact,” Liu Liu stammered after a long, awkward pause. “It packs such terrifying destructive power even without being driven by spiritual energy. If it weren’t for the defensive array protecting the room, this place would have been leveled entirely.”
“I told you I don’t know how to do this!”
Sang Nian finally snapped, losing her composure entirely. “I’ve never even spun a spinning top in my life, let alone whipped people! I can’t do it. I’d whip myself to death before I ever managed to hit someone.”
Liu Liu was equally distressed. “Shall we try a simpler prop, then? If that still doesn’t work, I’ll think of something else.”
After it coaxed her for quite a while, Sang Nian reluctantly clutched her strained lower back and struggled back to her feet.
[This section failed the censorship review after numerous revisions. To summarize briefly:]
Liu Liu: $(ꐦÒ‸Ó)$ Goes to pick up a prop banned by the censors
Sang Nian: $＼(\`Δ\’)／$
Sang Nian: $╰(⇀‸↼)\_/ﾟ:$
Xie Chenzhou: $(˵¯͒〰¯͒˵)$
Liu Liu: $(ꐦ°᷄д°᷅)$
Sang Nian: $╭(°A°\`)╮$
Sang Nian: “!!!”
“What the fuck, Xi—Xie Chenzhou, he—” she stammered, staring in sheer shock. “He seems to be a total NSFW M-word that can’t even pass censorship in the title?!”
Liu Liu: “…………”
The heart it had been keeping anxiously suspended in its throat finally flatlined.
After a long, drawn-out silence, it seemed to make a resolute decision.
“Forget it. You’ve already tried your best.”
It transformed into a tiny yellow parrot, fluttered out of her sea of consciousness, and landed gently on her shoulder. It patted the top of her head with its wing and comforted her:
“I’ve applied for the easiest mission possible for you instead.”
Sang Nian felt as though she had been granted a royal pardon. “What is it?”
“You’ll find out tomorrow when the system sends the notification,” Liu Liu replied mysteriously. “I guarantee it has zero difficulty.”
Just as Sang Nian was about to say something, a sharp, piercing pain suddenly bloomed across her chest.
It felt as though a long, thick needle had been driven straight into her heart. The agonizing pain left her unable to stand straight, draining her complexion until it was as pale as a sheet of white paper.
“You’re about to die.” Liu Liu offered a helpful reminder.
Sang Nian, who was frantically rummaging everywhere for emergency heart medication: “???”
Liu Liu explained:
“According to the original plot, you would have a relapse tonight and be rescued in the nick of time by the maid guarding your door, narrowly escaping death. But now that she’s gone, won’t you just die if nobody saves you?”
Sang Nian desperately wanted to cry out for help, but even with every ounce of her remaining strength, she could only force a few weak puffs of air from her throat—quieter than the hum of a mosquito.
Liu Liu offered some more comfort:
“However, according to the setting, Xie Chenzhou possesses a unique physique, and you are afflicted with a strange illness. As long as you two engage in some unspeakable adult activities, your condition will stabilize. Do it enough times, and it might even improve your constitution and skyrocket your cultivation.”
Sang Nian silently muttered a helpless complaint in her heart: “So basically, Xie Chenzhou was born with a dual-cultivation holy body, is that it?”
“Your time is running out, you know.”
Without wasting any more energy agonizing over it, Sang Nian staggered blindly toward Xie Chenzhou. She frantically signaled to him with her eyes, her hoarse voice forcing the words out one agonizing syllable at a time:
“Quickly… call… someone… here—” Save me save me save me save me save me save me save me…
Before she could even finish her sentence, the collar of her robes, which she had hastily pulled together earlier, slipped open.
[I’m genuinely having a breakdown because this keeps failing censorship. To describe it simply once more:]
Sang Nian: Exposes half of a shoulder that the censors strictly forbid showing.
Xie Chenzhou: $( •︠ˍ•︡ )$ Stunned
Sang Nian: $(˃ ⌑ ˂ഃ )$ Dizzy, lunges forward to bite his neck
Nom $(￣ε￣)$
Xie Chenzhou: $꒰ঌ(˚ᆺ˚)໒꒱$ (Jolts violently)
“What do you think you’re doing?!” Xie Chenzhou demanded.
Sang Nian lifted her face. Her full, voluptuous lips were still stained with beads of his fresh blood, making them look as if she had just applied a vibrant rouge.
Her usually pale and refined features suddenly took on a striking, bewitching allure.
Xie Chenzhou’s Adam’s apple bobbed heavily as he forced the words past his teeth:
“Get the hell off—”
“I swear on my life, I won’t do anything else! Just let me take a couple of sips, please.”
Her tone was achingly weak, her voice so soft that only the two of them could possibly hear it:
“I’m begging you.”
It sounded less like a plea and more like a soft coaxing pout.
Xie Chenzhou’s lips slowly pressed into a tight, straight line, and he forcefully averted his gaze.
Granted this silent permission, Sang Nian pressed her lips close to his wound, performing an action strictly forbidden by the censors.
The night breeze blew open the diamond-patterned lattice window, scattering moonlight like crushed silver while the fine sharkskin curtains drifted gently.
All around them was absolute stillness. The gardenia fragrance lingering in the girl’s hair, mixed with a bizarre, sweet iron scent, drifted past Xie Chenzhou’s nose on the wind.
It was very faint, carrying a trace of cool chill.
He clenched his palms tightly, the blue veins bulging one by one across the back of his pale hand.
The red binding rope swayed, and a small bell chimed softly. [Dear censors, this is purely for atmosphere and carries no hidden metaphors]
I don’t know how much time passed before Sang Nian’s hands went completely limp.
She managed to roll over just in time, pillowing her head right on Xie Chenzhou’s arm.
“What are you doing now?” Xie Chenzhou’s voice was deep and husky.
Sang Nian’s eyelids felt as heavy as if they were filled with lead, and she replied feebly:
“If I don’t lie down right now, I’m going to die. Once I wake up, I’ll untie the ropes for you. The potency of the drug you took will wear off by dawn, just hang in there…”
As she went on, her voice grew softer and softer until it vanished entirely.
Perhaps because she was freezing and exhausted, she slept profoundly, snuggled up in his embrace with a posture of absolute trust that he had never seen before. She pressed tightly against this source of warmth, not moving an inch.
Her breathing was so faint it felt as though it might vanish at any second.
Xie Chenzhou fell into a momentary daze.
When he snapped back to reality, his pupils were as dark as an abyss untouched by sunlight—terrifyingly black.
She was just another person coveting this flesh and blood of his.
There was no difference.
None at all.
When the sun was high in the sky, Sang Nian slowly drifted back to consciousness.
The space beside her was completely empty, and the room had already been neatly tidied up, leaving not a trace of whatever had happened the night before.
She tried to sit up, but every inch of her body ached as if she had been dismantled and put back together.
—Most likely thanks to whipping herself last night.
At that thought, Sang Nian’s expression twisted into an involuntary grimace.
The next moment, the door was pushed open, and the maids stepped inside on light feet. Leading them was Chun’er, the personal maid who had grown up alongside the original owner.
She parted the bed curtains and peeked in at Sang Nian.
“Milady, shall I help you freshen up now?”
Sang Nian forced her expression into order. “Alright.”
She lifted the blanket to get out of bed and couldn’t help letting out a sharp gasp.
Xiao Chun asked anxiously, “Does something hurt?”
Sang Nian asked, “Do we have any medicine for external injuries?”
Chun’er took out a porcelain vial she had already prepared and handed it over.
“This is a medicinal pill sent by the Medicine King Valley. I heard they came up with a brand-new formula, and it works wonderfully for external wounds.”
—The Sang family controlled Qingzhou’s largest spiritual stone mine, and major sects in the surrounding area frequently came to visit and build relations.
After taking the medicine, Sang Nian indeed felt much better. She tucked the remaining pills into her storage pouch and instructed:
“Have more of these prepared. We’ll definitely find a use for them in the future.”
Chun’er covered her mouth and giggled secretly.
Realizing the maid had misunderstood, Sang Nian felt it was necessary to clear things up.
“What I meant was—”
“The commotion last night was so loud that half the Sang estate heard it,” Chun’er complained playfully. “Our dear son-in-law really doesn’t know his own strength.”
Sang Nian’s facial expression management completely collapsed.
“Huh?”
Chun’er continued, “Though, you do look a bit healthier today than you usually do.”
As they spoke, the two of them sat down in front of the vanity mirror, and Sang Nian gazed at her reflection.
The girl in the mirror was only sixteen years old, with a pale, bloodless face, a sharp pointed chin, a tiny rouge-colored mole right between her brows, and peach-blossom eyes where the whites and blacks were sharply defined.
It bore a slight resemblance to her actual, original appearance.
However, the yellowish, withered hair, the excessively frail body, and the faint bluish-black tint between her eyebrows—add all those together, and anyone could tell this was not the face of someone fated for a long life.
And she called this looking healthy?
Goodness knows how deathly frail she must look on a normal day…
Sang Nian shook her head. “By the way, where is Xie Chenzhou?”
“Him?” Chun’er brought a basin of water to wipe her face, speaking as if it were no big deal. “He’s hanging in the courtyard, getting whipped by the City Lord.”
???
Sang Nian nearly choked on her own breath. “Hanging him up and beating him?!”
At the exact same time, the system, which had been dormant all night, suddenly popped up with two consecutive alert chimes.
[Ding! Mission updated successfully. Please conquer the secondary male lead, Xie Chenzhou, within seven months.]
[Xie Chenzhou’s current favorability rating toward you: -123060]
Sang Nian: “……”
Heaven.
Is.
Truly.
Trying.
To.
Kill.
Me.