It may sound abrupt, but I believe it’s already a universally acknowledged fact that I’m nothing more than an utterly ordinary college student you could find absolutely anywhere.
That said—even someone as painfully average as me has apparently been warned by Meiko that there’s one “normal” thing I should avoid doing whenever possible.
And if you ask what exactly that thing is—
Well.
It would be this.
“Hey, hey, you free right now? Wanna go hang out somewhere?”
“…………”
Indiscriminately helping women in trouble.
Our university, Heidan University, is a perfectly ordinary co-ed school, with the male-to-female ratio sitting at roughly one-to-one.
But even if the numbers are equal, that obviously doesn’t mean every man and woman naturally pair off neatly into matching sets.
People have preferences. Personality compatibility. Taste. Appearance. Countless invisible parameters that unconsciously shape how we perceive one another. People instinctively read those traits, growing attracted to some, repelled by others.
And after countless repetitions of that process, relationships are born.
Lovers. Partners.
Sometimes even marriages.
The mutual affection so glorified by society—the miracle called being in love with each other—only occurs when both sides align perfectly.
A miracle, in other words.
Which is why there are also cases where affection flows only one way.
“Come on, don’t ignore me while staring at your phone. I actually know a bunch of hidden spots around here, y’know? Let’s go have some fun.”
“…………”
This pickup attempt wasn’t taking place on campus.
Classes had already ended, and it was dusk. I was taking my customary walk along the riverbank near the university.
That was when I happened to notice what looked like a male and female student from our school nearby, engaged in the exact situation I just described.
The guy was a slightly frivolous-looking young man with fairly handsome features. Since he was openly trying to pick someone up, he naturally wore a self-confident expression.
Honestly, he looked like he’d be popular even without resorting to pickup lines.
Still, people have hobbies. I wasn’t about to judge.
As for the girl…
Hmm.
Her outfit was overwhelmingly black, giving off a heavy, unapproachable aura, but even that impression was utterly overshadowed by how absurdly beautiful she was.
To put it in cliché terms—
She was a breathtaking beauty.
Honestly, if Meiko saw her figure, she’d probably get jealous.
And so, we return to the point from the beginning.
The “normal action” I had been forbidden from taking.
As far as I knew, if this were an ordinary high school romcom—or rather, if I were an ordinary protagonist—then the next course of action was obvious.
Pretend to know the girl being harassed, help her escape the situation, then gradually grow closer afterward until somehow romance naturally blossoms.
According to Meiko, this “saving a girl from a pickup artist” scenario was one of the most standard romantic clichés in existence. If you witnessed such a situation, she claimed, you could practically hear the opening theme of the story beginning to play.
When she told me that, I had naturally asked:
“So isn’t that just a new style of pickup attempt where you pretend to rescue her first?”
Meiko’s response had been immediate.
“If it’s romantic, anything goes.”
Apparently, the way men and women meet—whether ordinary or extraordinary—doesn’t matter so long as it feels romantic.
And even stories that begin with awkward or unromantic encounters can still work, but to truly capture people’s hearts, drama is necessary.
Though apparently, if the girl wasn’t genuinely troubled to begin with, then intervening just made you a nuisance.
And despite explaining all of that to me…
Meiko still told me that even if a woman looked troubled, I should avoid helping her whenever possible.
If it was such an ordinary, commonplace action, then why shouldn’t I do it?
I asked her that once.
Her answer was:
“I’ll tell you in four years.”
So even now, I still didn’t know the reason.
…Honestly, I had wanted her to explain it properly.
But when I pressed further, she simply said:
“If you think about it normally, it’s obvious.”
So I pretended I understood.
For the record, after “thinking about it normally,” the conclusion I arrived at was:
“Meiko’s in love with me and doesn’t want me getting close to other girls.”
But that was probably wrong.
Because Meiko possessed overwhelmingly sharp insight.
I was certain the real answer couldn’t possibly be something that shallow and predictable.
And since I didn’t know the answer, all I could do was trust her words.
Which meant that unless the pickup attempt in front of me escalated into something criminal, I intended to swallow my tears and stay out of it.
The fact that I, an ordinary man, was forbidden from taking ordinary actions—
Surely there was something fundamentally wrong with this world.
Just as I silently lamented the injustice of reality within my heart—
“Hmph. I leave you fools alone for a moment and you prattle on as you please.”
“…Huh?”
The girl, who had been quietly fiddling with her phone until now, suddenly glared at the guy with deep irritation etched between her brows.
The sheer arrogance in her tone caught him completely off guard.
“Y-you what?”
“I have no time to waste associating with mundane beings such as yourselves. Can you not comprehend it? For the peace of this world to be maintained, the Astral Particles that drift beyond the Asmogate must remain in equilibrium. Yet already, in Midgard, that balance has begun to collapse. Soon, an Adapted One shall emerge in this world, and the battle of Astraiza shall commence. Compared to the crisis threatening the world itself, your petty sexual urges are no more significant than dust.”
“Uh…”
“However,” she declared grandly, placing a hand over her chest as her black coat fluttered dramatically in the evening wind, “if you possess the resolve to become a guardian of the world, then I may permit myself to hear your plea. Well? Are you prepared to offer both body and soul beyond the Tanhoizer Gate in order to save humanity?”
“Ah… yeah, I’m good, thanks.”
“…Mmph?”
Mutual affection, so adored by society, is nothing less than a miracle born from perfect compatibility between two people.
And therefore—
Even when one side’s arrow reaches out desperately, the other side may reject it completely.
The persistent pickup artist took one look at the pitch-black arrow radiating from the girl and promptly turned tail and fled.
“Hmph. The world can’t be saved by those without resolve.”
The girl watched him leave with cold, disinterested eyes before tossing out that final line and walking away into the deepening dusk.
Apparently, my “normal action” of saving someone from a pickup attempt hadn’t been necessary after all.
Feeling a strange trace of disappointment, I prepared to resume my walk.
And then—
A hallucination abruptly appeared over the girl’s retreating figure.
As though some invisible screen had materialized in midair.
──────
“Kuwajima Taeko”
Sense of Shame: Stronger Than Most
Chuunibyou: Wants to Graduate From It
Status: “Curse of Chuunibyou”
※ She’s cursed
※ Unless the curse is broken, she’ll eventually commit suicide from overwhelming shame
──────
…What?
What the hell was this?
Unable to process the sudden flood of information, I frantically tapped Meiko’s number on my phone.
She answered after only two rings.
“Meiko. You said I should avoid helping troubled women whenever possible, right?”
“What’s with that outta nowhere? But yeah, basically. You’ve been following the rule properly, so good job.”
“If there’s a woman suffering from a Chuunibyou Curse and contemplating suicide from shame… should I help her then?”
“…There’s no such thing as a Chuunibyou Curse. What the hell are you talking about?”
I didn’t know what I was talking about either.
I truly didn’t.
But the hallucination was definitely saying exactly that.
Please believe me.
The Curse of Chuunibyou—
really does exist.
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