The morning after the Goetheschwarz Sanzen Sanbyaku Sanjuuin-sama Incident—
another perfectly ordinary day began at Heidan University.
Taketsuru and I attended our morning lectures together, and by the natural flow of exhausted college student instinct, we eventually ended up at the cafeteria afterward.
“So honestly speaking… what do you think about Sumire-neesan not even flinching when I got summoned right in front of her?”
“She didn’t react even after seeing a human being summoned into another world, huh…? Considering everything surrounding me lately, couldn’t that actually be considered fairly normal?”
“So she is weird after all. Well, I like that about her too, though.”
That conclusion was strange. I’d literally just called her normal.
While casually trading remarks back and forth, the two of us sat across from each other eating cafeteria curry that cost exactly three hundred yen.
The conversation mostly revolved around Taketsuru’s shameless lovestruck rambling and how he intended to repay us for yesterday’s incident.
As for our own discussion, that was about it.
But the conversations drifting in from the students around us—especially the ones from our year who had taken the same lecture and arrived at the cafeteria afterward—were noticeably different than usual.
(“Hey… did you see Black Princess-sama today?”)
(“Yeah. She wasn’t wearing black.”)
(“She was wearing some insanely cute feminine outfit. I honestly thought my eyes were broken.”)
Comments like those floated over mainly from the male students nearby.
Apparently “Black Princess” was Kuwajima’s nickname.
Considering she’d spent every day dressed in ominous black clothing because of the curse, the origin of the name wasn’t exactly hard to figure out.
(“I heard even the way she talks became normal.”)
(“…You think it’s because of what happened yesterday?”)
(“That thing with Nekoyanagi-san and… Kirishiro.”)
For a brief instant, I felt several gazes turn toward me.
But the moment I looked back, everyone hurriedly looked away.
Hm.
As a perfectly ordinary college student, it seemed yesterday’s methods may have caused me to stand out just a tiny bit.
It couldn’t be helped.
Collateral damage like this was simply the price one occasionally paid in order to preserve normalcy.
(“Well, after getting publicly humiliated that badly, anybody would snap back to reality…”)
(“Kirishiro being weird is normal, but I feel bad for Nekoyanagi-san for getting dragged into it.”)
(“Seriously though, why does a guy like him have such a cute childhood friend?”)
Hearing that line, I accidentally let out a quiet:
“Fukuku.”
Across from me, Taketsuru stopped midway through lifting curry with his spoon and stared suspiciously.
“What’s wrong, Kirishiro? That laugh was genuinely unsettling.”
“No, it’s just… I happened to hear one of the Top Four Most Common Lines Directed at Perfectly Ordinary College Students: ‘Why does a guy like you have such a cute childhood friend?’ The sheer normality of my existence amused me a little.”
“You didn’t hear the sentence immediately before that one…?”
Well, whenever the topic involved childhood friends, a certain amount of jealousy was inevitable.
Which meant that anything said regarding “childhood friend” matters came pre-filtered through bias and therefore held no bearing on my true essence.
Nothing could shake the undeniable fact that I was merely a perfectly ordinary college student.
――――――――――
After Taketsuru and I finished our curry and left the cafeteria to figure out where to waste time before third period, we noticed a crowd gathered along the walkway nearby.
Curious, I peeked through the gaps.
At the center of the crowd stood Kuwajima.
She had completely abandoned the dark, oppressive clothing she’d worn until yesterday.
Instead, she now wore fresh white clothes that perfectly suited the early summer atmosphere.
It was a flawless character redesign.
The cursed life she’d lived until now had likely been sealed away entirely inside those black bandages, and she was probably preparing to begin a second version of her university life.
Evidence of that could be seen in the way she was now casually chatting with girls who had previously only watched her from afar—and even with the boys who had repeatedly failed trying to flirt with her before.
Her smile was still a little stiff.
But that was probably just something that would improve with time.
“Ah.”
Suddenly, our eyes met.
Kuwajima immediately began throwing several meaningful little winks in my direction.
Unless I was mistaken…
…it looked suspiciously like a cry for help.
After thinking about it briefly, I simply gave her a small nod—
—and started to leave.
Kuwajima instantly made an expression like she’d just suffered catastrophic emotional damage.
“You’re not even going to say hi?” Taketsuru asked.
“Well, it’s probably better this way.”
Right now, Kuwajima was probably busy enjoying her delayed university debut.
Or at least, that was what I thought.
For all of five seconds.
Without warning, Kuwajima suddenly pulled out the black bandages from her bag, wrapped them roughly around her arm, and loudly declared:
“My name is ‘Goetheschwarz Sanzen Sanbyaku Sanjuuin-sama’! Enough frivolous games. Unlike you fools, I’m exceedingly busy. The beast sealed within me now hungers for sacrifice! Open the path before me… unless you desire death!”
And the instant Bandage-Equipped Kuwajima began walking forward—
the crowd parted before her like the Red Sea before Moses.
With majestic confidence, she strode directly toward us before calmly removing the bandages again.
“I haven’t eaten lunch yet, so let’s go to the cafeteria together.”
“We literally just came out of the cafeteria.”
“You’re boys. You’ll survive.”
What exactly was supposed to survive there?
Taketsuru and I exchanged glances, but then Kuwajima suddenly looked seconds away from crying, so we reluctantly turned around and headed back to the cafeteria.
――――――――――
“Seriously, what’s wrong with people? They ignored me forever, but the instant I change clothes they suddenly act friendly? Are their brains located entirely in their lower bodies? And then they have the nerve to say stuff like, ‘Your illness got cured? That’s great! I’m actually grateful to that weirdo for once~!’ Like, who do they think they are!?”
Kuwajima huffed angrily while furiously shoveling down the same cafeteria curry we’d eaten earlier.
She’d eaten it yesterday too, now that I thought about it.
Maybe she genuinely liked it.
Meanwhile, Taketsuru and I had purchased ice cream from the campus co-op and were quietly eating dessert instead.
“And another thing, Kirishiro-kun—you were awful too.”
“What did I do?”
“I was clearly sending you a ‘save me’ signal, and you just ignored me and tried to leave! What was that!? Are you one of those people who stop feeding fish after they catch them!? I thought we’d become friends!”
So that had been a help signal.
Well, perhaps ignoring it had been slightly questionable.
But there was actually a very deep reason behind my actions.
“Kuwajima. You may not realize this, but as a perfectly ordinary college student, I merely behaved in the most natural way possible.”
“…Meaning?”
“According to Meiko: ‘Once a side character’s main story arc ends, they stop being relevant to the protagonist, so there’s no need to stay close to them. In fact, avoiding unnecessary contact is usually safest.’”
“WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SIDE CHARACTER!?”
Kuwajima practically barked the words.
So Kuwajima wasn’t the kind of side character who vanished after her focus chapter ended…?
But if Kuwajima wasn’t a side character, then that created problems for me too.
“…In other words,” I carefully began, “you want to become a main character?”
“First of all, everybody is the protagonist of their own life, okay!? The world doesn’t revolve around you, Kirishiro-kun!”
“Even so, from the perspective of maintaining my perfectly ordinary lifestyle, your assigned role is problematic…”
I glanced toward Taketsuru.
Since he still hadn’t grown particularly close to Kuwajima, he was simply sitting there munching on a popsicle while tapping at his phone, silently observing the chaos unfold.
Judging by the smug grin on his face, he was enjoying this far too much.
“Listen carefully, Kuwajima. My perfectly ordinary human relationships are already complete with: ‘Best Friend,’ ‘Childhood Friend,’ and ‘Perfectly Ordinary Me.’ If I forcibly insert Kuwajima into that structure, the balance collapses and maintaining normalcy becomes significantly more difficult. Do you understand?”
“Eeeeh…”
This was the true issue I faced.
I needed to survive these four university years while remaining perfectly ordinary.
Excessive human relationships were the enemy of normalcy.
My hallucinations had already dealt severe damage to my normalcy. Recklessly expanding my social circle any further was dangerous.
“Though… it’s not like there are zero available slots.”
“Then isn’t that fine!?”
“…You think so?”
Well… technically speaking, there was one remaining role that Kuwajima could potentially occupy.
“The only available slot left is ‘Main Heroine.’ Kuwajima… are you volunteering to become my main heroine?”
“Fweh!?”
Yes.
There was, in fact, exactly one remaining vacancy within this relationship structure.
The Main Heroine slot.
In a perfectly ordinary romantic comedy, the story only truly began once that final piece joined the existing trinity.
It was an extremely important position.
Naturally, there was a problem.
To maintain a perfectly ordinary, peaceful life—
a Main Heroine was entirely unnecessary.
According to everything I’d learned from textbook light novels, the moment the story began, ordinary daily life slowly started changing.
The existence of a Main Heroine represented tremendous risk.
Even Meiko had repeatedly warned me about this.
Which was why I wanted to leave that slot empty if at all possible.
Still, if Kuwajima absolutely insisted…
Well.
Even if the role got filled, nothing would happen as long as nobody actually started the story.
“So, Kuwajima. What’ll it be? Do you want to become the Main Heroine?”
“Eh—ah—w-wait, suddenly!? I need mental preparation for something like that! Or rather, this conversation escalated way too fast!? What even is this!? Why are you so calm about it, Kirishiro-kun!?”
“Hey, Kirishiro,” Taketsuru muttered flatly, “what exactly am I watching right now?”
Having finished his popsicle and grown bored again, my “best friend” finally spoke up.
Meanwhile Kuwajima continued flusteredly sputtering incoherent noises.
And then, as if suddenly remembering its job, my hallucination popped into existence again.
──────────
“Kuwajima Taeko”
Main Heroine Slot:
Not unwilling… but sudden… difficult…
──────────
Not unwilling, but difficult?
Which was it?
I wanted a clearer answer than that.
After a long moment of internal struggle, Kuwajima finally looked toward me with newfound resolve.
“Um… w-well… though I may be inexperienced—”
“THERE’S A ‘GIRL BEST FRIEND’ SLOT TOO, RIGHT!?!?”
Before Kuwajima could finish, Meiko suddenly came sprinting into the scene from nowhere, practically gasping for air as she interrupted.
“Meiko? What’s with the sudden entrance?”
“Taketsuru-kun messaged me saying there was an emergency, so I rushed over!”
“Emergency…? Well, having a ‘Normality Advisor’ like you around is reassuring at times like this.”
I glanced toward Taketsuru.
He was holding up his phone while grinning like an idiot.
If he had something to say, he should just say it.
What was with that face?
Meanwhile, after finally catching her breath, Meiko turned serious.
“Gouto-kun. Filling the ‘Main Heroine’ slot this suddenly is dangerous. Right now you’re still just a beginner at being normal. If a Main Heroine enters your life at this stage, collapse is basically guaranteed.”
“Hm. If Meiko says so, then I accept it.”
“So I think ‘Girl Best Friend’ is the better option. Taketsuru-kun already fills the male ‘Best Friend’ role, but the female version is still vacant.”
“But Meiko, didn’t we already conclude that one best friend was sufficient? That’s why we decided against including a girl best friend role in the first place.”
“That’s true, but some stories do have two best friends. And compared to introducing a Main Heroine, the impact would definitely be smaller.”
If Meiko said so, then it was probably true.
After all, Meiko understood the concept of “perfectly ordinary college student life” even better than I did.
From my perspective, her actions currently looked exactly like:
‘Meiko, who secretly intended to aim for the Main Heroine position herself someday, panicked and rushed over to stop Kuwajima from taking the slot first.’
But Meiko possessed overwhelming insight.
Surely she had deeper reasoning beyond my understanding.
And so, looking toward the still-blinking-in-confusion Kuwajima, I asked once more:
“So then, Kuwajima. How about becoming my ‘Girl Best Friend’ from now on?”
As I spoke, I extended my hand toward her.
Kuwajima stared alternately between my face and my outstretched hand for several long seconds.
Then, with a slightly disappointed little sigh, she finally smiled faintly.
“Okay. Then… please take care of me as your best friend.”
“I see. Then I look forward to our continued friendship.”
And just like that, Kuwajima became my friend—
another important piece supporting my life as a perfectly ordinary college student.
The troubled little smile she wore as she shook my hand had already begun attracting attention from the people around us.
And somehow…
she looked less like a “best friend” and more like a heroine after all.
“So, Kuwajima-san,” Meiko added while gripping her hand with alarming intensity, “if Gouto-kun starts saying weird things again, contact me immediately. You can do that, right, Kuwajima-san? Right? Right? Right?”
“Y-Yes…”
And so Meiko and Kuwajima exchanged an absurdly firm handshake as well.
Beside them, Taketsuru continued grinning endlessly.
Hm.
Today and tomorrow alike—
the daily life of a perfectly ordinary college student remained peaceful as ever.
—End of the Kuwajima Arc—
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