The luxurious mansion spanned over a thousand square meters, with gardens stretching for hundreds of miles in every direction. Centered around a spherical energy stone on the mansion’s roof, the gardens showcased the four seasons, spring, summer, autumn, and winter, in a clockwise arrangement starting from the west.
West: vibrant spring, with peach blossoms and verdant willows; North: lush summer, alive with birdsong and insects; East: richly hued autumn, with layered forests glistening in gold and green; South: pristine winter, blanketed in pure white snow.
When Wei Jing had originally written the character setting outline, he’d been quite pleased with himself. See? How impressive! Such a high-end, elegant, and luxurious living environment was only fitting for his favorite villain!
When readers pointed out flaws in the setting, he’d unabashedly explained: This is a world where magic and martial arts coexist. See that soccer-ball-sized energy stone on the mansion’s roof? It provides a continuous, 24-hour energy output to maintain the four-season scenery.
Now, standing trembling at the southern entrance to the garden, staring at the heavy snowfall, he could only think: I’m such an idiot.
Ten minutes earlier, the Great Master Qin had left the house, saying, “I’m off to earn a living. You stay home and take care of our son. If you need anything, call the butler.”
Wei Jing nodded frantically, looking incredibly obedient. Although he was deeply attracted to the Great Master’s physique and even longed to have it for himself, he had no desire to face the moody, unpredictable man who could turn hostile at any moment.
Of course, he wasn’t particularly interested in taking care of the “son” either. But the butler was exceptionally dutiful. As soon as the Great Master left, the elderly butler, white-haired, thin, and frail, appeared before Wei Jing like a ghost, urging him, “Mr. Tu, the master said you should take the young master to the garden for some sun.”
As the most loyal servant to the Great Master, the butler’s true form was naturally anything but ordinary. He was a giant python, a type of animal without fur that Wei Jing found utterly terrifying.
Wei Jing shuddered, not daring to say a word. He immediately grabbed the little dragon and bolted. In his panic, he ran in the wrong direction.
“Achoo—”
After sneezing violently, he struggled to hold the little dragon and decided to head to the western side of the garden to escape the cold. Just as he turned, the butler’s figure appeared abruptly in front of him. “Mr. Tu, there’s a courtesy vehicle. Would you like me to take you?”
Standing next to a giant python made Wei Jing extremely uneasy, but the mansion was enormous. If he wanted to go from the southern entrance to the western one on foot, it would take a long time. The little dragon in his arms, though quiet, was unbearably heavy, and he couldn’t just toss it aside.
After weighing his options for a moment, Wei Jing nodded. “Alright then. I’ll trouble you.”
The old butler glanced at him, then slowly bent down, prostrating himself on the ground as he began to reveal his true form…
“AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!” His snake skin was so disgusting!
Wei Jing let out a terrified scream, turned around, and ran with all his might. This time, he didn’t panic and choose the wrong direction; he cleverly turned left and ran toward his intended destination. Although he was running slowly, at least he was moving.
The giant python remained where it was, looking utterly bewildered. “……”
With a bang, the door opened and closed. Wei Jing leaned against the wall, gasping for breath, feeling completely drained. Back in the day, he used to be an athletic type who could run a thousand meters without even breathing hard!
“Ahh.” A small, childish voice came from his arms.
He looked down to see the little dragon staring at him with big, curious Bambi-like eyes. It opened its mouth, and then—
Shot a small fireball at him.
Immediately afterward, the smell of burnt hair reached his nose.
What the hell! So this really was a Charmander!?
“……”
“…………”
“………………”
Wei Jing roared in his mind: This is so unscientific!
The western side of the garden was bathed in bright sunlight, as warm as March. But Wei Jing’s heart felt as though it were frozen in the depths of December’s bitter cold.
He stared blankly at the heavy little dragon in his arms, silently reflecting: Why did something like this exist in his story?
As the original author, he knew better than anyone else that after Tu Shihua, terrified of being exposed, fled and met his demise, the Great Master Qin had, in a fit of rage, leveled the entire Dongchuan region. As for the egg, well, sorry, it had been completely forgotten.
In other words, in the original novel, the egg had mysteriously vanished because he’d simply abandoned that plotline!
Had the world somehow patched the hole on its own?
Wei Jing sat cross-legged on the grass, resting his chin on one hand, deep in thought.
The little dragon stood on its hind legs, its forelimbs dangling in front of its chest. With its head tilted slightly, it stared at him in a silly, bewildered manner.
【System Reminder: The Online Cub-Raising System has been activated. Host is required to name the cub. Completing this task will earn 1 point.】
The gentle female voice echoed in his mind again.
Wei Jing shuddered. He didn’t want to spend another minute in this godforsaken place. The question was, how could he go back? This unaccommodating system’s sudden appearance, however, gave him a glimmer of hope.
What had the system said yesterday?
Activate the self-destruct mechanism? Right!
If he kicked the bucket here, would he be able to go back safely?
The more Wei Jing thought about it, the more plausible it seemed. Steeling himself, he retorted, “What if I refuse?”
【Please complete the task seriously. Otherwise, the self-destruct mechanism will be activated.】
“Hahaha, who’s afraid of that? Go ahead! Destroy me!” Self-destruct it was, then he’d finally be free!
Wei Jing fearlessly taunted the system.
After a few seconds of silence, the system let out what sounded like a resigned sigh and continued, 【Self-destruct mechanism activation countdown: 3, 2, 1—】
A familiar melody began playing in his mind: She is a lingering slant of sunlight, longing for someone to appreciate her beauty. He has a window framed by blue skies, waiting only for someone to share it with. She is a tender, flowing melody, yearning for someone to sing along. He possesses a gaze full of gentle warmth, blooming only for someone to behold. Come on, enjoy it, anyway, there’s plenty of time…
What the hell! What the hell! What the hell!
Wei Jing never expected that this supposedly terrifying self-destruct mechanism would involve music that made his body uncontrollably start moving!
In broad daylight, he was twisting his waist and striking ridiculous poses like a fool, it was mortifying!
The only silver lining was that the only witness to his humiliating display was a speechless little dragon.
After writhing for a full ten minutes, he finally regained control of his body. Lying on the grass, too devastated to cry, he wailed, “Boo-hoo-hoo, why are you doing this to me? What did I ever do wrong?”
“Ahh.” The little dragon, seeing him wail so passionately, started making noises too. Another small fireball landed on Wei Jing’s pants, instantly burning a hole in the fabric at his knee.
The flame didn’t seem very hot, it didn’t burn his skin.
Wei Jing quickly sat up, putting on a fierce frown as he tried to scare the little dragon. “You can’t just make noises whenever you want, and no spitting fire! Otherwise, I’ll stew you in a pot!”
The little dragon didn’t understand him. Instead, it seemed thrilled that Wei Jing was paying attention to it. It hopped twice on the spot, jumped into his arms, and rubbed its bare little head against him.
Wei Jing let out a pained yelp, thinking he’d broken something. Just as he was about to give the little creature a proper scolding, the system’s gentle female voice echoed in his mind again.
【System Reminder: The Online Cub-Raising System has been activated. Host is required to name the cub. Completing this task will earn 1 point.】
Useless system!
He grumbled inwardly. Not wanting to embarrass himself by dancing again, he had no choice but to rack his brain for a name.
As a gay man with a clear sense of his own preferences, Wei Jing had never imagined he’d ever have the chance to name his own child, nor had he ever given it any thought. Even when writing novels, he mostly generated names for protagonists and side characters randomly using writing software, picking whichever looked decent at the time.
Frowning in frustration, he finally looked at the little dragon. “[1]Xuanyuan Gousheng (轩辕狗剩): “Xuanyuan” is an ancient and noble Chinese surname, historically associated with the Yellow Emperor. “Gousheng” (Dog Leftover) is an … Continue reading jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_2112943_1_1').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_2112943_1_1', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });Xuanyuan Gousheng, [2]Li Goudan (李狗蛋): “Li” is an extremely common Chinese surname. “Goudan” (Dog Egg/Testicle) is a crass, earthy, and very traditional pejorative nickname for a boy, based … Continue reading jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_2112943_1_2').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_2112943_1_2', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });Li Goudan, [3]Ouyang Chigua (欧阳吃瓜): “Ouyang” is a prestigious and literary double-character surname. “Chigua” (Eating Melon / “eating watermelon”) is modern internet … Continue reading jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_2112943_1_3').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_2112943_1_3', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });Ouyang Chigua, [4]Ximen Chuifeng (西门吹风): “Ximen” (West Gate) is a rare and somewhat cool-sounding surname. “Chuifeng” (Blowing Wind) is a playful parody of the famous wuxia character … Continue reading jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_2112943_1_4').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_2112943_1_4', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });Ximen Chuifeng, [5]Murong Jiji (慕容叽叽): “Murong” is a distinguished and poetic Xianbei-origin surname, common in martial arts fiction. “Jiji” (Ji Ji) is onomatopoeia for chirping or … Continue reading jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_2112943_1_5').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_2112943_1_5', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });Murong Jiji, pick whichever of these five names you like.”
The little dragon tilted its head, clearly not understanding what he was saying.
【System Reminder: The above names do not meet the requirements. The cub must have the surname Qin.】
Wei Jing: “…Why can’t it be Wei? What’s wrong with Wei? How about [6]Hongweijun (红卫军) literally means “Red Guard Army.” jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_2112943_1_6').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_2112943_1_6', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });Hongweijun?”
The system ignored his deliberate provocation and coldly repeated: 【Please name the cub. Completing this task will earn 1 point.】
Goddamn idiot!
Wei Jing’s expression went blank as he cursed inwardly, utterly devoid of hope.
Half a minute later, he came up with an idea. He picked a few flowers from the nearby flowerbed and arranged them in a row in front of the little dragon.
“Azalea means Qin Goudan, peach blossom means Qin Gousheng, pear blossom means Qin Chigua, lilac means Qin Chuifeng, peony means Qin Mei Jiji, and Chinese peony means Qin Xiaobao. Pick one yourself. Don’t blame me if it’s bad.”
Of the six names, only the last one seemed slightly normal.
The little dragon, curious as a baby, followed his finger as he pointed at each flower, finally stopping at the Chinese peony.
Wei Jing picked up the Chinese peony and held it up to the little dragon. “Alright, then. From now on, your name is Qin Xiaobao.”
“Ahh.” The little dragon opened its mouth and spat out an even larger flame, scorching the Chinese peony black.
Wei Jing: “…”
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