After those words were spoken, both of them fell silent for a long time.
The surroundings were so quiet that only the sound of the ocean waves could be heard. Even the sound of their breathing seemed to fade away.
Lin Wang rarely regretted anything he said. He took a breath, leaned back in his chair, and tapped his fingers on the armrest, speaking as if to himself, “I want a cigarette.”
Chi Yuan suddenly reached out and grabbed Lin Wang’s shoulder to keep him from leaning too far away. “What are you hiding from?”
“I am just leaning back, I am not hiding,” Lin Wang said, amused by his comment. He leaned closer to Chi Yuan. “Fine, I will not hide.”
Chi Yuan felt his pocket, took out a lollipop, and tossed it into Lin Wang’s hand. “Eat candy when you have a nicotine craving. I cannot stand the smell of smoke.”
As Lin Wang peeled off the wrapper, he said, “I am thirty years old. Are you really going to make me eat strawberry-flavored lollipops?”
Chi Yuan raised an eyebrow and said unreasonably, “I will not let you smoke even if you are eighty. If you are craving a cigarette, you have to eat candy. If you do not want it, give it back.”
Lin Wang popped it directly into his mouth and muttered, “It is too late.”
Since the worst-case scenario he had imagined did not happen, Lin Wang bit the stick of the lollipop, looked at the distant camera, and called out to Chi Yuan.
Chi Yuan was right next to him, staying very close. He let out an “Mm” in response.
“Do you not have anything to ask?” Lin Wang’s expression was calm, and his tone carried a relaxed, lighthearted smile intended to soothe the atmosphere. “Or do you think I have lost my mind and just escaped from a psychiatric hospital?”
Perhaps hitting some hidden nerve, Chi Yuan dropped his head and suddenly started to laugh. His voice was low, and he laughed until tears pricked his eyes. He wiped the corner of his eye, looked at Lin Wang, and said hoarsely, “You are the most normal one among the mentally ill.”
“What are you talking about?” Lin Wang laughed along with him.
The smile on Chi Yuan’s face vanished, and his voice became more subdued. “When did you get here?”
Lin Wang replied, “That night, one minute before you came out of the bathroom.”
Before Chi Yuan could say anything, Lin Wang ran a hand through his hair, thinking it was funny. “I was terrified. One second I was smashing my head against the floor, and the next second, I was standing by your bed.”
“It was not that scary,” Chi Yuan said. “It did not stop you from sleeping with me.”
Chi Yuan always said things that left Lin Wang with no way to respond. He squeezed the candy wrapper and nodded, “If you want to put it that way, you are not wrong. Who told you to be so good-looking?”
Chi Yuan took the wrapper from Lin Wang’s hand, silently accepting the compliment. “Tell me about it.”
“About what?” Lin Wang asked.
“Your past,” Chi Yuan said.
The “past” was only last month’s events, yet they were already referring to it as the past.
Lin Wang pondered for a while before saying self-deprecatingly, “Before, compared to who I am now, I did not have much to brag about. I have enjoyed comforts, suffered hardships, and in the end, I muddled my way into some money and status. When I met people, the younger ones called me Brother Lin, and the older ones still called me Little Wang.”
Lin Wang looked back at Chi Yuan and chuckled, “Does that sound inspirational?”
Chi Yuan said it did. Lin Wang continued, “I have not really talked to others about these experiences. I was being vague because I did not know where to start, not because I was trying to fool you.”
Lin Wang had not thought of himself as a talkative person before, but now he could not seem to stop. Chi Yuan listened quietly at his side, showing no emotional reaction to his words. Others might find it cold, but Lin Wang only felt relaxed.
Chi Yuan was an excellent listener when he chose to be.
Lin Wang said softly, “If someone else suddenly ran from here to there and turned from me into him, they might have been dazed, stupid, or driven mad. Everything I had worked so hard to get was gone in an instant, and I was saddled with one hundred million in high-interest debt. What kind of life is that? Better to just die.”
Chi Yuan laughed. His eyes narrowed slightly, and his emotions were hidden deep within his eye sockets. Every time Lin Wang looked at him, he thought he looked incredibly handsome.
Lin Wang laughed too. “I did not go crazy despite such a huge drop, but it is not because I had much confidence. I was not that happy when I earned so much money before. Of course, it was definitely more than what you earn, but for my social class, I was a small-time millionaire, yet I still was not very happy.”
Chi Yuan asked, “Why?”
“My parents died in an accident when I was a teenager. After I was left on my own, I always felt life was meaningless,” Lin Wang said, looking up at the clusters of stars, noticing one lonely star hanging far in the distance. “No matter how you live, you are just a shell. Empty inside, and unable to hold anything else.”
After saying this, Lin Wang paused for a few seconds and glanced at Chi Yuan. “It is not that I could not hold anything, but after searching for so many years, I never found anything suitable to put inside.”
Chi Yuan generously let him look. Lin Wang’s thoughts were always transparent to him at a glance, and he would either tacitly agree or patiently pretend not to know.
When he spoke again, the curve of his lips held a different meaning, “Have you filled it with many things?”
That was too direct, and Lin Wang laughed at the question. “Do you think I look like I have? It is not that everyone older plays around; Brother Lin is a serious person.”
Chi Yuan did not speak; he just watched him and smiled. He smiled so beautifully that Lin Wang’s ears grew hot.
Hot as they were, some things had to be made clear. Lin Wang licked the lollipop, the sweetness becoming a bit cloying. “There really has not been anyone. I was not in the mood before, and later, when I had time, I summarized it; the reasons are mostly about the same.”
Lin Wang leaned on his arm. “People I have met always said I am steady and good at taking care of others, saying I must be suitable for dating. But if you think about it from the other side, my stability does not conflict with my requirement that you also be stable. It is not bragging, but whether they are older or younger than me, in the end, not one could keep up with me.”
Lin Wang was very good at chatting. It was unclear how many times he had made Chi Yuan laugh. Even after laughing, he would ask whatever needed to be asked, keeping a clear head under any circumstance.
He leaned against the chair nonchalantly, needling Lin Wang with his words, “You dare to date people both older and younger than you; those who do not know better would think I am the same age as you.”
Lin Wang smiled and did not speak. Chi Yuan kicked him with the tip of his shoe. “Hm? Brother Lin?”
Lin Wang kicked Chi Yuan back, swirling his tongue around the candy. “Same age my foot. To me, you are just a kid.”
After kicking him, Chi Yuan did not retaliate. Lin Wang continued, “I think a bit too much, really a bit too much. I consider things quite thoroughly, I suppose. What I am about to say might shock you; are you sure you want to hear it? I can also choose not to say it, and things can stay as they are.”
Chi Yuan replied indifferently, “Go ahead.”
Lin Wang hesitated for a moment and said, “Do not think I am mentally ill. This world we are living in right now is actually a book I read before. I do not remember the plot in fine detail, but I am certain it is that book.”
A flash of surprise finally appeared on Chi Yuan’s face, but it did not last long. Even someone as composed as Lin Wang felt that Chi Yuan was like an opaque bottle; the lid was sealed tight, and no matter how you shook it, you could not see what kind of water was inside.
Lin Wang nudged him with his knee. “The protagonist is you.”
“I think so, too,” Chi Yuan said.
“Do not get too full of yourself,” Lin Wang chuckled. “The other one is Liu Linjia, and the two of you have a tortured, deep love affair spanning hundreds of thousands of words.”
Chi Yuan understood and said, “Oh. You want to ask what I was doing with him today.”
Lin Wang denied it. “No, I want to say—”
“He came to find you,” Chi Yuan interrupted, his face calm. “I told him to get lost.”
“Lin Wang’s mouth hung open. After a long while, he gave Chi Yuan a thumbs-up in admiration and shook his head. “In the original plot, you were supposed to fall in love with him at first sight on this variety show, tie him up in your villa three days later, and then with him—”
“I thought I enjoyed everything you said,” Chi Yuan suddenly remarked. “Can we skip this part? I am going to throw up.”
“Alright,” Lin Wang sighed and laughed again. “I just wanted you to understand the plot; I did not mean anything else.”
Whether he meant anything else, Chi Yuan knew in his heart. Lin Wang was good in every way, except that his mind was too thorough; every step had to be perfect. Chi Yuan found it stubborn and rigid, and he felt tired just looking at him.
“So what?” Chi Yuan looked at him. “So it is a book. Does that stop you from eating or drinking?”
The camera in the distance moved further back, seemingly wanting to take a wide shot of them at night. Lin Wang heard the movement and glanced over, but Chi Yuan did not even budge.
Lin Wang looked helpless and rubbed his fingers together. “You are so calm, I feel like I am the 24-year-old here. There is no ‘so what.’ The book is no different from the life I lived before.”
At this point, his voice lowered, and he did not look at Chi Yuan. “There really is no difference. Things I am not sure about, I still cannot be sure about. Things I could not do before, I cannot do now. It can also be interpreted as someone of my age being unaccustomed to rushing headfirst into things when nothing is certain.”
Chi Yuan withdrew his gaze after listening, folding the candy wrapper in his hand into a tiny ball.
Both were silent, tacitly digesting and reflecting.
There were still things Lin Wang had not said, just as he had said himself; these were things he was not sure about.
Lin Wang had viewed Chi Yuan from a god-like perspective, reading hundreds of thousands of words. Setting aside the inappropriate parts, Lin Wang had sincerely observed Chi Yuan’s entire life as a bystander. He saw him achieve so many things in his field, watched him be liked and loved by countless people, and saw how outstanding he was, yet still struggle because of emotions.
After that, Lin Wang had accidentally entered this book, developed an unusual relationship with Chi Yuan, stood by his side, and faced him in person at the closest possible distance, watching him over and over again.
The more he looked, the more he realized what a complex and attractive person this was; those hundreds of thousands of words were truly too shallow.
Such a person could not be easily attained; even the word “attainable” was an insult to him.
Lin Wang’s moral sense was not particularly high, but in this relationship, he felt that as the older one, he should shoulder more responsibility.
They had known each other for too short a time, their understanding was too shallow, and they were far from being deeply in love. It would be inappropriate to approach someone while holding onto such vague feelings.
If he saw someone else doing this, Lin Wang would curse them for being shameless and demeaning others.
Lin Wang had to wait; wait for himself to understand, wait for the two to become more familiar, and wait until they were worthy of the phrase “a long-lasting relationship.”
After that, whether he hid it away or planned to do something else, he would only stand by Chi Yuan’s side once he was certain.
This thought had been spinning in his mind for days. It was not until he saw Liu Linjia today that Lin Wang finally woke up.
How arrogant he had been, wanting to plan such beautiful thoughts while the person involved was right there, and he was already shamelessly harboring intentions.
Lin Wang began to reflect again. He was used to being cautious and could not help it; the more he wanted to treat someone well, the more he would overthink.
Overthinking led him to this point, where he and Chi Yuan were sitting by the beach, laying everything bare and saying so much.
“Brother,” Chi Yuan called out to Lin Wang.
Lin Wang took the candy out of his mouth and licked his cheek, which had been crinkled by the sweetness. “Mm?”
Chi Yuan: “Do not be so tense with me. Have I threatened you?”
Lin Wang laughed, saying no. From his perspective, Chi Yuan was propping his head up with one hand, his body leaning towards him the entire time, maintaining a sense of distance that made one feel relaxed. The pale yellow light nearby fell on the side of Chi Yuan’s neck, the lines of the black tattoo under his collar blurry and tender, very much like Chi Yuan’s current state; lazy and quiet.
Chi Yuan’s lips curved slightly, touching Lin Wang with his gaze. “Older than me by six years, is that how you set an example?”
Lin Wang met his gaze, licked his lips, and smiled. “Then how should I set an example?”
“No one is rushing you,” Chi Yuan touched the back of Lin Wang’s hand with his fingertips. “But, with me, trying is not against the law.”
He looked up at Lin Wang. “A month is too rushed; is a year enough for you to think it over?”
With things put this way, the “known for too short a time” concern Lin Wang had held lost its weight. Chi Yuan had given him a year; flowers could bloom several times in that span.
Caution did not mean being unappreciative. When a perfect opportunity arises, no one would leave it unattended.
“Enough,” Lin Wang put the candy back in his mouth, bit the stick, and laughed. “More than enough.”
Chi Yuan moved his hand away, leaned back, kept a bit of distance from Lin Wang, and said in a low voice, “Oh.”
Lin Wang did not understand. “Oh, what?”
Chi Yuan tapped his chair, a very light sound. “You can start showing it now.”
“I…” Lin Wang paused for two seconds and burst into laughter, his voice rising. “I have not even said what I am going to do yet; you are that impatient? Did we not agree there was still a year left?”
Chi Yuan corrected him: “There are ten months and twenty-six days left.”
“Ah, that works too.” Lin Wang was not used to such innocence; for a moment, he was bewildered and amused. “Then… I am starting to pursue you now? Is that not a bit hurried?”
“Do your best,” Chi Yuan stood up and walked toward the villa, waving his hand lazily, his voice filled with laughter. “I think I am quite hard to please.”
Lin Wang sat in the chair, laughing so hard he could barely get up.
It was nearly ten o’clock when they returned. The air conditioning was installed, and the remote was left on the table for them.
When Chi Yuan went to take a shower, Lin Wang turned on the air conditioner. The night in the south was damp and hot. He initially set it to twenty-six degrees, but after a moment of thought, he lowered it by a few degrees.
Having chatted for so long, and with so much said, analyzing oneself required energy. After showering, Lin Wang fell asleep as soon as he lay on the bed.
The advantage of not being picky about beds lay here. He had a good dream all night, and Lin Wang woke up on time at 6:10 AM the next day.
When he got up, Chi Yuan was still sleeping, his brows furrowed in discomfort; he was likely unaccustomed to the bed.
It was still early after Lin Wang washed up. When he went downstairs, the other guests were still asleep, and the staff were stunned to see him. “Teacher Lin, you are up so early.”
Lin Wang saw that they had prepared many props. He stood there without approaching and smiled. “Am I not allowed to see them ahead of time? Go ahead with your work; I will go for a walk over there.”
“It is fine, Teacher Lin, feel free to look. The tide is receding now; if you walk that way, you might be able to pick up some seafood.”
Lin Wang thanked them, wandered for a while in the direction pointed by the staff, went straight to the shore, and started jogging on the stone path.
A day’s plan starts in the morning. Lin Wang had read a passage before saying that if something is hard to persist with, do it in the morning when you have just woken up.
A day’s energy was all in this hour.
When Lin Wang told his friends this, someone joked, “I cannot even wake up.” Lin Wang had laughed and scolded him, “That is your fault. Living entirely on others’ advice without putting in the effort yourself is nonsense.”
Yesterday, a staff member told them to gather downstairs at 7:30 AM. Lin Wang calculated his time, jogged for forty minutes, and returned.
There was nothing else to do; he had just promised to “please” someone yesterday and could not leave him in bed today. Lin Wang felt he, as the “older brother,” should have some sense of responsibility.
Pushing the door open to enter, Chi Yuan was indeed still sleeping, his quilt rolled into a ball in his arms. The air conditioning set to a dozen degrees made Lin Wang’s forehead feel icy.
“Why have you not gotten up if you are awake?” Lin Wang took the remote to turn off the air conditioner and ruffled Chi Yuan’s hair. “It is almost 7:30. If you do not get up, the cameramen will push the door open soon.”
Chi Yuan grabbed his hand and tucked it into his embrace, his brows furrowed unhappily. “Sleepy… the bed is too hard.”
He could not be woken up. Lin Wang supported Chi Yuan’s shoulders and forcibly hugged him up, saying as he did so, “Endure it for two more days; we are going home soon.”
Chi Yuan sat up without opening his eyes, pressing his face against Lin Wang’s stomach like a brat, hugging his waist and refusing to move.
Outside, the camera crew was already knocking, calling out, “Teacher Chi, Teacher Lin.”
In this state, he could not be seen by others. If this were actually broadcast live, Chi Yuan would not need his reputation anymore. Lin Wang was caught between laughter and tears. “Wait a moment! We are changing clothes; we will be out right away.”
He lowered his head and coaxed in a whisper, “Get up quickly. When I went down just now, I saw the tide had receded. Director Lu might let us play in the water later; it will be so cool.”
His stomach felt a bit ticklish. After two seconds, Chi Yuan’s shoulders started to shake. He looked up at Lin Wang, his eyes tired and his voice a bit raspy, but he was clearly smiling. He told Lin Wang, “Are you coaxing a three-year-old? Playing in the water… how childish.”
Lin Wang had not felt it when he said it, but once Chi Yuan mentioned it, he realized it too. He pinched his face and laughed, “Get lost! Get up quickly. You are over twenty years old, and you are being caught in bed; are you not ashamed?”
Chi Yuan squinted his eyes, muddled as he searched for his slippers while getting out of bed. “Not ashamed, not like you.”
He had a huge temper upon waking up this morning; his words were sharp.
Lin Wang did not bicker with a child. He kicked the slippers under his feet, went to the bathroom ahead of time to squeeze toothpaste for him, and only opened the door after seeing Chi Yuan finished changing.
The cameraman was in high spirits. “Good morning, Teacher Lin. We are starting the live broadcast now.”
Lin Wang glanced at the lens. Having been filmed all day yesterday, he had gotten a bit used to it. He spread his hands and said, “Broadcast away. I am all set; no matter how you broadcast, it will be decent.”
The less-than-decent Teacher Chi spent over ten minutes washing his face and brushing his teeth before leisurely heading downstairs with Lin Wang, his whole face reading “sleepy.”
Downstairs, they met Su Xi and Fang Yue. Seeing Chi Yuan’s state, they let out an “Ouch.” “What is wrong, Boss Chi? Did you not sleep well? I also think the bed is quite uncomfortable; Director Lu is fooling people.”