Tang Jinyan suppressed the surging emotions in her heart, allowing Xiaoxi to dress and adorn her.
In the mirror, the young girl’s features were exquisite, her skin luminous and smooth, with a lingering innocence in her brows and eyes—this was her at her very best, untouched by the weariness of half a lifetime of suffering in her previous life, nor the gauntness of her final moments.
Once properly attired, Tang Jinyan rose and walked slowly toward the Linde Hall, where the palace banquet was being held.
Inside the hall, the melodious sounds of strings and flutes had long filled the air. Civil and military officials were seated in order, the atmosphere both lively and solemn.
Upon the imperial throne sat the Emperor of the Great Jing Dynasty, with the dignified and elegant Empress beside him. The moment Tang Jinyan entered the hall, their eyes fell upon her, instantly brimming with deep, unreserved affection.
Emperor Jing, having fathered this daughter late in life, cherished his only girl to the bone. Seeing her enter, he immediately beckoned her over, his tone devoid of the sternness he reserved for court officials, replaced entirely by warmth: “Yan’er, come here quickly.”
Tang Jinyan lifted the hem of her skirt and walked forward gracefully, performing the proper courtesies.
The Empress immediately reached out, affectionately taking her hand and guiding her to the seat prepared beside her. She chided softly, “Why are you only arriving now? Did you oversleep?”
She was securely sheltered by her Imperial Father and Empress Mother. Below them sat the various consorts of the rear palace, along with several imperial brothers.
Most of the gazes in the hall were fixed upon this princess, the recipient of boundless favor. Everyone knew that Princess Zhaoyuan was the most esteemed young lady of Great Jing, a treasure held in the palms of the Emperor and Empress.
A pang of sorrow struck Tang Jinyan’s heart, and her nose tingled slightly.
In her previous life, blinded by obsessive love, she had taken this profound and weighty affection for granted, squandering it recklessly, never truly cherishing it.
Her Imperial Father and Empress Mother had passed away one after another when she was thirty-three. Even in their final moments, she had been too consumed by her own melancholy to fulfill her filial duties properly.
Later, when her Second Imperial Brother ascended the throne, she remained the unparalleled and esteemed Eldest Princess, her status lofty, with no one daring to slight her.
Yet, within the vast imperial palace and her own Gongzhufu, she was ultimately left alone, guarding a cold and hopeless marriage, enduring the passing years in solitude.
Now, given a second chance and enveloped once more by such genuine warmth, she belatedly realized how precious all she had once possessed truly was.
Gently tightening her grip on her Empress Mother’s soft hand, Tang Jinyan lifted her gaze to her Imperial Father, whose temples were already lightly frosted with gray. Her eyes grew slightly warm.
In this life, she would no longer be trapped in that hopeless infatuation, nor would she fail those before her.
She would stay by her Imperial Father and Empress Mother’s side, watching over their health and longevity;
She would support her imperial brothers, witnessing Great Jing’s stability and prosperity;
And most importantly… she would steer far clear of Chu Moqing, allowing him to pursue his lofty ambitions, and granting herself freedom and peace.
Just as her thoughts stirred, the ceremonial music in the hall suddenly shifted. The sharp, clear voice of a eunuch slowly rang out:
“Newly Ranked Zhuangyuan Chu Moqing, accompanied by the Bangyan, Tanhua, and the newly appointed Jinshi scholars, approaches the hall for an audience—”
A procession entered the hall in response. At its forefront was a man clad in a brand-new crimson Zhuangyuan robe, his posture as straight and graceful as green bamboo, a jade belt cinching his waist, his steps composed and assured.
He possessed handsome features—a straight nose, well-defined lips, and eyes that were both gentle and sharp, radiating the spirited confidence of a young scholar who had just achieved the highest honor.
Despite his humble origins, standing within the resplendent, golden hall, he carried an aura of clear wind and bright moon, effortlessly overshadowing the splendor and finery of the entire assembly.
Tang Jinyan’s gaze involuntarily drifted toward him, her heart suddenly skipping a beat.
She smiled bitterly to herself.
This man, with whom she had shared decades of life, who had once been her rightful Fuma, had gradually worn away the last remnants of warmth between them over the long years, leaving behind nothing but desolation in the end.
She had clearly hated, regretted, and suffered, and had sworn in her heart to stay far away from him in this life, never to be entangled with him again.
Yet now, seeing him once more in his vibrant attire, spirited and full of vigor, her heart uncontrollably skipped a beat.
But it was only a fleeting moment.
The words "never to meet again," carved clearly in her memory from the tombstone of her past life, along with the coldness and emptiness that had ground away half a lifetime, instantly overwhelmed this brief flutter of emotion.
Tang Jinyan slowly withdrew her gaze, her fingertips curling slightly as she suppressed all unwarranted feelings.
The man before her was the newly ranked Zhuangyuan in the prime of his youth, his path ahead smooth and his future boundless.
And she was Princess Zhaoyuan, reborn into this world, wishing only to stay by her family's side and live a peaceful life.
In the hall, the Emperor had already begun to speak with a smile, offering encouragement to the newly successful Jinshi, while praises filled the room.
Chu Moqing bowed his head in respect, his words appropriate, gentle, and courteous, earning frequent nods of approval from many ministers.
The Empress gently patted her hand and whispered with a smile, "This newly ranked Zhuangyuan truly stands out in appearance and demeanor. No wonder you kept mentioning wanting to see him these past few days."
Tang Jinyan lowered her eyes, her voice calm and steady: "Your daughter merely mentioned it in passing a few days ago. Now that I see him, he seems no different from any ordinary official."
Hearing this, the Empress chuckled softly, lightly tapping her forehead with a fingertip, her tone filled with affection and pride: "My Yan'er has always been precious and noble, so it's only natural for her standards to be high. If she is to be matched, it should be with the finest young man in this world."
Tang Jinyan gazed at her mother's gentle and loving expression, and her heart suddenly ached.
In her past life, trapped in that cold and lifeless marriage, she had spent her days in melancholy, the joy in her eyes slowly worn away.
Her mother had seen it all, aching in her heart, privately advising her countless times and secretly making plans for her. Yet, at that time, Tang Jinyan had been too deeply entrenched in her obsession, plunging headlong into hopeless affection, unwilling to let go or find peace. In the end, she had caused her mother endless worry, leaving her unsettled even in her final moments.
Now, reborn and seeing her mother still young and gentle before her, she felt a lump in her throat and nearly teared up.
"Mother, your daughter does not wish for anyone else. From now on, I only want to stay by Your Majesty and Your Highness's side, bringing joy to you every day. That is enough."
The Empress was taken aback, seeing the rare seriousness in her daughter's eyes. Thinking it merely a momentary whim of youth, she smiled and said, "Silly child, speaking such childish words. Your father and I can protect you for a while, but how can we protect you for a lifetime? In the end, we only hope you can find someone who truly cares for you, so you may live a smooth and worry-free life."
Tang Jinyan's nose tingled with warmth as she gently leaned against the Empress's shoulder, her voice soft and light:
"As long as Your Majesty and Your Highness are here, your daughter is already living a smooth and worry-free life."
As for someone who would truly care for her…
She had already tried that once in her past life, trading half a lifetime of sorrow for an answer.
In this life, she no longer wanted it.
Below in the hall, Chu Moqing continued to respond to the Emperor's questions in an orderly manner.
His words were composed, drawing from classics while remaining practical, showing neither the nervousness of a newly successful Jinshi nor any hint of arrogance. Each answer was clear and well-structured, delighting the Emperor and earning frequent nods of approval from the civil and military officials in the hall, who privately praised this newly ranked Zhuangyuan for his exceptional talent and insight.
Clad in crimson robes, the young man achieved early success, as bright and promising as a clear breeze under the moon, with a boundless future ahead.
Such a dazzling figure stood in stark contrast to the increasingly taciturn and weary man he would later become within the walls of the Gongzhufu.
Tang Jinyan gazed at him, her eyes slightly moistening, and a soft sigh echoed in her heart:
Chu Moqing, in this lifetime, I release you.
I will not be your burden, nor tarnish your soaring ambitions. I will not confine you within palace walls, nor exhaust you in a hopeless marriage.
Spread your wings and soar freely, to become the radiant Lord Chu you were always meant to be.