Having returned to the Imperial Capital, I reported in at the headquarters of the Imperial Ceremonial Battalion.
「Good work with the report. Did you have a pleasant vacation?」
The Battalion Commander said this with a chuckle, so I stood stiff at attention and put on my sourest face.
「It was freezing, and the officers of the Second Division glared at me the whole time. Hardly enjoyable.」
「I heard you got along quite well with that cute little cavalry lieutenant.」
How the hell does she know that? And he wasn’t cute.
「Later, I looked into it. The Macaran family holds decent power as a mid-tier noble house in the Empire’s southern region. I thought it best to establish connections.」
「True enough. I’ll grant you that. We stand on thin ice. The more supports we have, the better.」
The Battalion Commander, proud of her abundant golden hair, said this, then looked up at me with a mischievous smile.
「So, how are things progressing with Lieutenant Crimine?」
What the hell is this woman talking about?
「She remains as incomprehensible as ever. But her diligence in duty deserves praise.」
「Oh?」
「After all, she played the role of the rebel leader’s double and actually let herself be hanged.」
The Commander’s mouth hung open in blank astonishment.
「Wait… what did you do?」
「I needed to execute a man who didn’t exist, so I hanged Lieutenant Crimine. At her own request.」
The Commander stared hard into my face, then asked again for confirmation.
「Of course, you hanged her in a way that didn’t kill her, and she’s alive, right?」
「Obviously. I’d never allow a valuable subordinate to die.」
I can tell the difference between people who can be killed and those who can’t. If I couldn’t, I wouldn’t be able to work as an executioner.
Since I didn’t want this on record, I gave a verbal explanation.
「Well, that’s how it went. There was no other way.」
「I see… if that’s the case, very well.」
The Commander folded her arms and leaned back in her chair, looking exasperated.
「You’re the first lunatic I’ve ever met like this. Aren’t you afraid of imperial edicts?」
「If I weren’t afraid, I’d have just reported, ‘Yuoh Nevilnel never existed,’ and been done with it.」
I do it because I’m scared, damn it. Please understand.
I was at my wit’s end, but the Commander suddenly burst out laughing.
「Ha! This is good. You take on the most thankless role, where exposure means certain execution, and yet you neither fear it nor boast of it. You don’t even ask for reward. A genuine, dyed-in-the-wool idiot.」
Is that really so?
Then she suddenly said something unexpected.
「You’ll stay under me from now on. Don’t even think of submitting a transfer request—I won’t allow it.」
「Do you think I’d even try? I became an officer thanks to you, Commander.」
The Commander laughed shyly.
「All I did was recommend a promising administrative noncommissioned officer to the academy. The rest was your own effort. You don’t owe me anything.」
「Oh, then perhaps I should submit a transfer request to the Army Accounting Bureau—」
「I won’t allow it. You’ll stay under me. The higher-ups will glare at you and you’ll end up dead otherwise.」
She shot me a glare. Terrifying.
Then her expression suddenly changed.
「Now then, Lieutenant Fonkt. How was your inspection of the Kavallaf region?」
Finally, the real subject. I straightened my posture once more.
「Since it was the last region to be incorporated into the Legitimate Empire, it retains a distinct temperament and culture. Governing it will be no easy matter.」
「You thought so too. But the ones up in the clouds don’t think that way.」
The Commander touched her pale fingertips to her forehead and sighed lightly.
「Those fools strut about like kings of terror, flashing death as a threat, but all they’re doing is earning resentment. A rebellion will break out sooner or later.」
「Commander, that’s disrespectful.」
「I don’t care. If you have complaints, report me to your direct superior.」
That’s you.
The beautiful Commander rested her cheek on her hand.
「Small grievances among the lowborn should be let out while still small. And the higher-ups should take note of them and resolve the issues before they grow serious. What’s wrong with that?」
「Nothing at all. They’re fools.」
「Hey, that’s disrespectful.」
You said it too!
Letting her golden hair spill across the desk like a river of honey, the Commander said:
「The situation is getting precarious. If the worst happens, I want to at least protect my own people. For that, I intend to prioritize assigning you to these kinds of missions. There aren’t many I can rely on.」
「Understood. I prefer that. Ordinary executions weigh heavily on me anyway.」
After an execution, I always end up brooding—「Did that person really deserve to die?」 Missions like that probably don’t suit me. The clearer the task, the lighter my heart.
「So then, is there any work I should be doing right now?」
「Nothing in particular. The smugglers of banned narcotics were rounded up and are being executed en masse. There’s even a public execution this afternoon. Want to help?」
「Those assignments are better left to the Second Company.」
The Imperial Ceremonial Battalion is composed of three companies. The First Company handles intelligence, documents, and negotiations with other departments—the bureaucrats the Commander recruited from who-knows-where. They never show their faces at the execution grounds.
The Second Company carries out the straightforward executions. Firing squads in the squares, for instance. Officers who harbor no doubts about orders get assigned there. They’re all very earnest. Some even love executions and autopsies a little too much.
And the Third Company? That’s us. We handle the politically messy cases, the ones that can’t be made public. We’re the only ones allowed to “kill” people by letting them escape.
Because of all these bizarre jobs, the Third Company is a den of eccentrics. I’m one of the few sane ones.
「You’re one of the strangest in the Third Company, you know. Even the Company Commander finds you amusing.」
That’s a lie, right? Am I really stranger than Lieutenant Crimine or the late Lieutenant Meinen?
By the way, our Company Commander is also a young woman. And she’s definitely stranger than I am.
「What’s with that dissatisfied look?」
「I’ve never seen anyone as much of a model of common sense as myself.」
「Haha, see? That’s exactly the sort of thing I mean.」
After laughing delightedly, the Commander slid me a sidelong glance.
「By the way, I’m currently looking for a common-sense remarriage partner…」
「My apologies, you’re a weirdo after all.」
The Commander’s only daughter is firmly opposed to her mother remarrying. I know because I see her often.
That’s why, being someone who understands jokes, I thought I gave the “correct” answer. But the Commander only let out a heavy sigh.
「Yes, you’re right. A weirdo. A complete and utter weirdo.」
…She sounds a little angry?
Her face grew stern, and she dismissed me with a wave of her hand.
「I’ll be hearing Lieutenant Crimine’s report after this. You go back to the Third Company and report to your Company Commander.」
「Yes, ma’am.」
Saluting, I tilted my head inwardly in puzzlement.