The famous restaurant 「Caravine Miu Tyudul」 sat on the second floor of a long-established cheese shop along the cluttered main road on the outskirts of the Imperial Capital.
Downstairs, the cheesemonger sold their popular products and leftovers, and upstairs they were turned into cheap and delicious cheese dishes.
Though a commoners’ place, it was renowned as a fine establishment frequently visited by nobles and clergy alike.
Incidentally, the name of this restaurant sounded rather impressive in Imperial tongue, but translated into Japanese it meant something along the lines of 「Huge Boobs Suck-Suck」. Not impressive at all.
Presumably referring to cows, of course—but who would give a place a name like that?
The people of the Legitimate Empire thought in ways I still could not comprehend.
「Hmm…」
Lieutenant Crimine was frowning and rubbing at her chest, so I let out a sigh.
「Try not to think about the name. Let’s go inside.」
「Yes, Vice-Captain.」
She nodded, still insistently stroking her chest.
For the record, I actually prefer small chests. I like the supple lines shaped by muscles and bone.
That said, I am also very interested in fuller chests—but it is not the sort of thing to discuss with a female subordinate, so I kept quiet.
「Welcome, gentlemen of the Guards. Two of you today?」
A waiter turned around while clearing plates, and I nodded.
「Is there a private room available? 『Since yesterday, the Red Cow has been in a good mood.』」
The burly bearded waiter’s eyes went calm for a brief instant.
「May I have your name?」
「Fonkt. Tell them I serve under Gehenbach and they will understand.」
The waiter gave a small nod.
「Understood. Just a moment.」
Lieutenant Crimine blinked rapidly, looking between the waiter and me as though she could not follow what just happened.
「Uh… what was that?」
「『The Red Cow』 is the owner here. 『Yesterday, mood, and the rest』—it’s all code.」
「Amazing…」
Honestly, I was only repeating the passphrase our Major taught us. I did not fully understand it myself, nor had I ever met the owner directly.
The waiter disappeared, then soon returned.
「Thank you for waiting, Master Fonkt. A private room has just become available. The 『Quiet Room』, for your use.」
Ah—an anti-espionage room. Very considerate.
「Much obliged.」
I smiled and slipped him a copper coin, then turned back to Lieutenant Crimine.
「Let’s go, Lieutenant.」
＊ ＊
And now, I was in trouble.
「It is certainly a private room, but…」
We had been shown into a small room at the end of a corridor by the kitchen. One small window, a little dim.
The table and chairs were to be expected. The bed, however, was not.
「Vice-Captain…」
Lieutenant Crimine stared straight at me, making me flustered.
「I’ve never been in this room before. Probably a staff rest room.」
The building was not large, so there could not be many private rooms. This one was likely used for secret talks or trysts. Excellent for counter-espionage.
Extremely inconvenient for me personally.
Instead of the waiter, a waitress came. I placed an order and passed her a note before sending her off.
And no, Lieutenant, stop staring at me like that. You’re mistaken.
Damn it. Why do things never go smoothly for me?
I removed my peaked cap and smiled at her.
「Once we are in here, we’ve cut off the tail for now. I just sent Captain Yugi a coded message—she’ll arrange something to deal with the pursuit.」
Captain Minaka Yugi always prioritized the safety of her subordinates in such situations. The problem was that she was a martial type herself, and would often leap straight into the front line. That was what troubled her men.
No doubt reliable, but that was why the Major often scolded her…
Soon the food arrived, and what caught the eye was a massive hunk of cheese. Likely half of a large wheel meant for storage.
The cut surface had been hollowed, and the chef threw in freshly boiled pasta.
「Whoa, whoa, whoa.」
Lieutenant Crimine exclaimed as the chef proudly twirled the pasta, melting the cheese until it became a glossy cheese pasta right before our eyes.
Once it cooled slightly, the chef portioned the pasta neatly onto small plates, twisting it into tidy bundles.
「This is our specialty—three-year-aged cheese, 『Golden Cow.』 Please enjoy while it’s hot. You can also buy it downstairs.」
A smooth sales pitch slipped in.
Other staff quickly arranged plates of assorted cheeses, a small fondue pot, and more before vanishing.
「Then, please enjoy your time.」
The chef bowed with a faintly suggestive smile before leaving.
That’s not what this is.
「Uh…」
Lieutenant Crimine looked stunned, so I explained using my previous life’s knowledge.
「This pot here—dip bread or vegetables into the melted cheese. It hasn’t fully melted yet, so I suppose they mean for us to start with the pasta.」
「I see.」
She readied her fork.
「Then, in gratitude for the blessings of the One True God…」
She abbreviated the first half of the official prayer and quickly began eating.
「Wow, this is delicious! Vice-Captain, hurry, hurry.」
Had she forgotten we were here to shake a tail?
I gave a wry smile, but held back from saying anything so boorish, and started eating too.
「It really is good. I never thought cheese alone could have such depth of flavor.」
「Yes, I’ve eaten plenty of cheese before, but this one is so carefully aged. And the way it’s made and served is entertaining too.」
At least the semi-noble lady was satisfied. I was relieved.
In my previous life’s Japan, though, this level of food was nothing unusual. Pasta finished in cheese wheels, cheese fondue—common enough.
But in this world, regional cuisines were fixed, and only the wealthy of the Imperial Capital and other major cities could easily enjoy dishes from different provinces.
On my last trip to Kavallaf in early spring, the only fare was beans and black bread. The villagers had served us wild game as their utmost hospitality.
Even the lords’ staple food was still black bread, albeit with nuts or dried fruit mixed in.
In this Empire, less than one percent of the population—the urban rich—alone had the privilege of treating food as entertainment.
Thinking of that filled me with guilt, but leaving the food uneaten would be a waste. So I ate.
「Vice-Captain, this pot is ready now. We dip the bread, correct?」
「Yeah. Try the steamed vegetables too.」
I had abandoned my rural birthplace to enlist because I heard that officers at least got proper meals. For a penniless peasant, the only path to advancement was as a soldier or a priest—and I preferred good food.
But be that as it may, there was something I needed to bring up with Lieutenant Crimine while we had the chance.
「Lieutenant.」
「Mmnfh?」
「Sorry, you can keep chewing. Just listen. No need to answer.」
Apologizing to her as cheese dribbled from her mouth, I began.
「I want you to think about something. Are we—or rather, are you—loyalists to the Emperor, or anti-Emperor?」
「Mmphh?」
「No, don’t answer. Just think about it.」
Progress was going to be slow…