From here on out, it was wasted time. Lord Grien already had the poison spreading through his body.
「Y-you… wha… ri… tterrrr…」
He clamped his mouth shut mid-sentence, eyes widening in realization.
「N-nnnya… what…!?」
「Your tongue is starting to fail you. Soon, you won’t be able to walk. At the end, you’ll lose consciousness and die. To make sure it was certain, I gave you ten times the lethal dose.」
Foam dribbled from his mouth as Lord Grien clung to the backrest of his chair. His bloodshot eyes darted around the room—then fixed squarely on Lieutenant Crimine.
「W-why is… she… still… fine…!?」
「Of course she is. What kind of officer poisons his own cute subordinate? Don’t be absurd.」
I said it flatly, already preparing to leave.
「Don’t forget the dishes we brought. I borrowed the best set from Battalion Headquarters. If we don’t return them, the cost comes out of my pay.」
「W… wait…」
The chair clattered as Lord Grien overturned it, glaring at me with a ghastly expression.
But it no longer mattered. He was already a dead man.
「That poison has no antidote. Your remaining life will be short—but at least you’ll have the pleasure of wondering why you lost.」
Lieutenant Meinen, I’ve avenged you.
I opened the door and summoned the soldier waiting outside. Judging by his expression, he had been eavesdropping. So the rumors were true—Lord Grien had informants all the way down to the lowest ranks.
「The execution is complete. Call for the military physician to confirm the time of death.」
「Y-yes, sir!」
The soldier saluted in surprise, then hurried down the stairs.
Lord Grien, already treated as a corpse, flushed red with rage, though his body refused to move.
Half-dead poisoning was the cruelest way to go. Better to make it quick. That much mercy, I could afford.
I turned to Lieutenant Crimine, who was visibly unsettled.
「Don’t worry. You never touched the poison. Don’t make such a dazed face. You’re on duty.」
「Y-yes, Sir Vice-Captain!」
She snapped to a salute, then asked nervously:
「Is he really going to die?」
「I’ll explain later. Not in front of him.」
I smirked and turned my back on Lord Grien.
「When you meet Lieutenant Meinen in hell, tell him he still owes me for the drinks. That bastard promised we’d split the tab, then left me to pay the whole thing.」
「You currrssse…!」
Lord Grien was already crawling helplessly across the floor, strength gone.
Before long, the military physician came clattering up the stairs, and I ceded the scene to him.
「The rest is in your hands.」
「U-understood.」
The physician, tense-faced, offered his shoulder to Grien.
「I’ll witness your final moments. Come, to the bed.」
「Am… am I really going… to die…?」
Yes. You’ll die. I killed you. But that part was finished.
「We’re going, Lieutenant Crimine.」
「Yes, sir.」
We closed the door and waited in another room until the physician confirmed the end.
＊ ＊
Lord Grien’s death was certified that evening. Even after losing consciousness, his heart refused to stop, dragging out the inevitable.
We were unwelcome guests, so the moment the death certificate was handed over, we started home.
「Vice-Captain… I really didn’t eat any poison, did I?」
Even on the road back, she wouldn’t stop worrying, and I couldn’t help but chuckle.
「Of course not. Those cookies weren’t poisoned.」
「Eh!?」
Lieutenant Crimine froze in her tracks.
「W-wait, Vice-Captain!? Then how did you kill him!?」
「Can’t you figure it out? The only things he ate or drank were the cookies and the tea.」
「Ahh!?」
Her eyes went wide.
「Don’t tell me—it was the Battalion’s stock of poisonous tea leaves!? The standard-issue, cheapest kind!?」
「Keep your voice down, Lieutenant. Even if no one’s following us, better safe than sorry.」
「S-sorry!」
She hurried to catch up with me, lowering her voice.
「But Vice-Captain, isn’t that against the rules?」
「I never said the cookies were poisoned. The duel’s method was poison. He was the fool who failed to suspect the tea.」
A true schemer drowns in his own schemes. Distracted by a box of suspicious-looking cookies, he forgot to watch the teacup.
He had underestimated us after two past victories. Fighting honestly was the last thing he should have done.
I paused, remembering my friend’s grin.
「At his peak, Lord Grien would’ve seen through such cheap tricks. He was a sharp man, by all accounts. But age—and fear of death—dulled his judgment.」
「Vice-Captain… what if he had seen through it?」
「I’d have laughed it off and moved on to the next plan. I actually prepared two more boxes. Traps that would almost guarantee my survival even if the first failed.」
「Two more!?」
She stared, amazed.
I gave a wry smile.
「All that effort, and the first box decided it. I must look like a fool for filing expenses for three. The Captain’s going to scold me.」
Those other two boxes cost me a fortune.
Curiosity sparkled in her eyes.
「Can I ask what they were?」
「There’s a certain mushroom only loggers and hunters know. I heard it tastes great.」
In my previous life, it was called Hotei-shimeji. I found a similar species here.
「The mushroom itself is harmless. But drink alcohol with it, and you’ll be so violently drunk it’s unbelievable. The real weapon was the booze. I’d sip just once, but give Grien more, and he’d collapse before me. The rest would’ve been easy.」
「That’s inhuman… As expected of you, Vice-Captain.」
That didn’t sound like praise.
She pressed me further.
「And the third plan?」
「I’d rather not say. You’ll think even less of me.」
「That’s not true! In my eyes, your worth is higher than anyone’s!」
I wonder about that.
「Anyway, we need to clear this forest before sunset. Pick up the pace.」
「W-wait, Vice-Captain! Tell me the last one!」
「Guess.」
With a wicked grin, I strode ahead.