"Is this the entertainment section or the crime section?"
[Choi O Admits to Illegal Gambling Charges Alongside Fellow Celebrity... Further Investigation Underway]
[Popular MC Seong OO Caught Drunk Driving Again... "I Offer My Deepest Apologies to the Entire Nation"]
['Habitual Drug User' Kim OO Found Guilty at Last... Prosecution Seeks Two-Year Sentence]
Only after I'd filed the last article without a hitch did I finally let go of the keyboard I'd been pounding nonstop.
A glance at the clock said it was already 11 AM. Three solid hours of concentration had left my insides burning, so I downed the iced Americano beside me straight from the cup.
'One of these days I'm going to pick a date and quit this worthless crap for good.'
Do this job long enough and a moment comes when you can no longer tell whether you're a machine for pumping out traffic or a reporter who joined the company to report.
Even today, from first thing in the morning, I'd been put to work inventing rage-bait headlines to drive up clicks and copying down other outlets' breaking news to recirculate.
Back when I first joined, I'd sometimes look back at what I was doing and feel something called a guilty conscience.
But don't they say even a schoolhouse dog recites poetry after three years? A third-rate entertainment reporter loses his conscience after three years.
Get called a trash reporter bastard somewhere, and you just shrug it off. It's been a long time since I started clearing out the abusive emails piling up in my inbox without batting an eye. Abusive emails are on the nicer end, aren't they? At least they didn't sue.
It can't be helped if you want to make a living. That damn sense of duty and pride never spoon-fed me or bought me a house.
After a light stretch, I checked the calendar.
There was one interview on the schedule for the afternoon. It was close by and I still had some time to spare, so maybe I'd grab a quick lunch in the meantime.
As I was pocketing my wallet and phone, the senior reporter at the next desk spoke up.
"Three-Second Baek Ji-hyuk! Heading out for lunch?"
"Yes. Knockoff Ji-hyuk is off to have a humble bowl of yukgaejang, very unlike a top star."
"Our Reporter Pyeong Seol-han doesn't even argue back anymore now that he's gotten set in his ways. Did you turn into a boring person?"
"I'm glad you've realized it, even if it's only now."
Ignoring the grumbling senior, I was just about to get up from my seat when a message pop-up appeared at the edge of the monitor.
[Unknown: Reporter Pyeong. Why not go ahead with that item that got shot down last time?]
That told me nothing. After barking at everyone to bring at least one reporting item each before the weekly meeting, they ended up shooting them down with "write one more line of article instead of wasting time on that crap." It wasn't just one or two.
More to the point, why was the sender listed as 'Unknown'?
Figuring I'd already seen it so I might as well answer quickly and get it over with, I clicked the pop-up and went into the messenger.
[Me: Which one are you referring to.]
The answer came back quickly.
[Unknown: [Attachment][Feature]Idol_I'll_Try_Becoming_One_Myself]
I didn't remember ever pitching an item that baffling, though? With that thought, I absentmindedly clicked on the attached file.......
A sudden, splitting headache hit me, and I squeezed my eyes shut without meaning to.
As my consciousness drifted away, a faint light rose up.
[Unknown: It was our Reporter Pyeong's pitch, so I backed it s.p.e.c.i.a.l.l.y. Do your best~ (^^)]
***
Before long, the skull-splitting headache faded.
When I barely managed to open my eyes, the first thing to enter my view was a familiar food.
...It was tteokbokki, with steam rising off it as if it had just been made.
Who the hell ordered tteokbokki to the office? Didn't you hear the bureau chief bark on his way out that he wouldn't let it slide if anyone ordered smelly food again?
I turned my head to find the culprit before I got saddled with the blame too, but something was off.
'This isn't indoors.'
Instead of the familiar office, the scenery of a street food tent I'd never seen before filled my view.
As I turned my head and looked around, trying to figure out what on earth was going on, a woman I'd never seen before who had just entered the tent looked at me and shouted.
"Baek Ji-hyuk!"
The woman strode right over and abruptly grabbed my shoulder hard.
"Ji-hyuk, why haven't you been answering your phone......!"
"You have the wrong person."
"This kid, seriously! Wrong person my foot! If you're not Ji-hyuk, then who are you!"
It wasn't the first time I'd heard I looked like Baek Ji-hyuk, but hardly anyone had ever pressed me this persistently.
'Is she a Baek Ji-hyuk fan?'
It didn't look like just saying no would change anything. I rummaged through my pocket to pull out a business card from my wallet.
But... what my hand closed around wasn't my sleek black leather wallet, but the stationery-store bifold I used to use back in the day.
I threw this out ages ago, so why was it here?
When I opened it, the contents were even more ridiculous.
All that was inside were a few thousand-won bills, three cards slotted in sideways, a driver's license, and a resident registration card.
My business cards, of course, but also the industry contacts' business cards and memos I'd collected over the years were nowhere to be seen.
'F—ck, don't tell me.......'
Suddenly uneasy, I looked for my smartphone. When I dug through the other pocket, something did come out this time too, but this also wasn't what I was looking for.
'This is the smartphone I used to use, too.'
The screen didn't light up when I touched it, and even when I held down the power button there was no response. Either the battery was dead or it was broken.
When I hurriedly looked around again, only then did a sense of wrongness set in.
Thankfully it was a neighborhood I knew, but the locations or signs of a few shops were different from how I remembered them. That hair salon spot, for example. Hadn't it gone under two years ago and been turned into an unmanned ice cream shop?
I looked over at the suspicious woman, who showed no sign of budging.
"Do you happen to know what the date is today?"
"Today? It's January 1st."
That couldn't be. Before I opened my eyes, it had been October.
"And the year?"
The answer that followed was even more shocking.
"2-20XX......."
Astonishingly, it was apparently seven years in the past.
Does that even make sense? Judging by her expression, though, she didn't seem to be spouting nonsense.
"I'm sorry, since we've only just met, but if you happen to have a mirror, could I borrow it for a moment?"
"Only just met......? O-Oh! Of course I have one! Hang on a sec!"
The woman took a makeup cushion out of her bag and handed it to me. I hurriedly opened the lid and peered into the mirror.
Young.
I definitely didn't look thirty-four.
The thin-framed glasses I always wore had vanished without a trace at some point, too.
It seemed I'd landed in a crazy situation where one of two things was true: either I'd seriously lost it, or I'd really come back to the past.
"Why are you acting like this all of a sudden? Is something wrong?"
"No. Thank you for the mirror."
If I kept panicking she'd find it strange, so pretending to be as calm as possible—but was this even a situation to be calm in?—I returned the mirror.
"Ji-hyuk, stop changing the subject and let's talk. Okay?"
With no other choice, I took out my resident registration card and showed it to the woman.
"Didn't I tell you that you have the wrong person? Are you here to preach about the Dao, by any chance? You look young, so please leave before I report you to the police."
The woman's expression stiffened instantly when she saw the name written on the registration card.
Looks like she finally gets the situation.
The woman hastily bowed at the waist to apologize to me.
"I'm so sorry! You looked exactly like a friend I've been looking for, so I just!"
"You've apologized, so that's fine. I don't know what happened, but I hope it all works out for you."
Come to think of it, hadn't she said something about not answering my phone?
Surely this person wasn't a sasaeng. Not that it had anything to do with me even if she was.
Now that the conversation seemed to be over, I figured she'd go on her way, but a fervent gaze stayed fixed on the side of my head and wouldn't leave.
"...What is it?"
"Um, but by any chance......."
The woman hurriedly rummaged through her bag, took out a business card, and held it out with both hands.
"Would you have any interest in becoming an idol?"
Not a sasaeng, then. A "Do you believe in the Dao?" type.
"I don't do religion. I believe in myself instead of a formless god, and I'm too busy getting by to have any room for offerings."
"That's not it! I'm talking about actual idols! Please, won't you just hear me out once?!"
She looked ready to drop to her knees right there if I didn't take it, so in the end I looked at the business card she'd all but forced into my hand.
On it were a company logo along with a department and an employee's name.
[Solar Entertainment, New Talent Development Team, Team Leader Kim Ji-su]
"Solar Entertainment......?"
"Do you happen to know a girl group called Colorize? Oh, or the singer Jeong Ru-i! That's their agency, you see."
I know them well. An entertainment reporter who didn't know those two should hand in his resignation.
A top-tier girl group that had been setting new career highs nonstop for years, and a skilled solo artist who swept the music charts whenever an album dropped.
The problem was that this 'Solar Entertainment' was also Baek Ji-hyuk's agency.
If it really was January seven years ago, why was she looking out here for a guy who should be practicing at the company, getting ready for his idol debut?
"Our company is recruiting male trainees right now, you see. And you're exactly! The image we're looking for. Won't you hear me out just once? Please? I'll pay for this tteokbokki!"
What was she talking about? Why recruit more at a time when they'd have their hands full just debuting the trainees they already had?
And they were hardly going to recruit trainees for their next boy group this early, either.
The way things were going differently from what I knew tangled my head. It seemed any more thinking right now would only give me a headache.
'Since it's come to this, I'll get every source I can out of her and send her on her way.'
I lightly patted the seat beside me.
"Your legs must be tired. Why don't you sit down for now, Kim Ji-su-ssi."
"You can just call me noona, it's fine!"
"This much distance suits me just right."
"Ah... okay."
Kim Ji-su sat down, ordered one more serving of sundae and two fish cakes in a booming voice, and then pushed the plates in front of me.
"I'll pay for these too, so eat comfortably!"
Would you eat comfortably in this situation?
But snubbing an informant isn't a very good attitude for a reporter, so I obediently moved my chopsticks.
"May I ask how old you are?"
Let's see, seven years back from thirty-four.......
"Twenty-seven."
"Twenty-seven? Oh, come on, I saw earlier it said 0X?"
What?
I took the registration card out again and looked at it.
She was right. The birthday was the same, but the birth year was different.
According to what was written here, I was currently not twenty-seven but twenty-one.
Regressing into the past is... fine, let's say that happened.
But isn't a changed birth year impossible unless you were born all over again?
Now that I thought about it, Baek Ji-hyuk had been six years younger than me.
Surely I didn't possess Baek Ji-hyuk's body... No. My name was still written right there on the registration card.
Live long enough and you really do go through all sorts of absurd things.
"...I was just joking."
"Ahaha, this guy's got a unique concept."
Think whatever you like.
"Then can I just call you Seol-han?"
Hey, look at that, casually switching to banmal.
Picking at every little thing was a hassle, so I'd just let her do as she liked. She was someone I'd see today and never again anyway.
"Yes, go ahead."
"You can talk casually with me too, Seol-han!"
No.
Stuffing tteokbokki into my mouth to plug the thought that was about to pop out, I naturally changed the subject.
"I understand the situation. But would it be all right for me to join as a trainee now? I'm wondering if twenty-one isn't too late."
"I could explain in more detail if you came to the company with me, but, hmm......."
Trailing off and mulling it over for a moment, Kim Ji-su soon whispered quietly.
"For starters, Seol-han, you'd go straight into the debut team the moment you sign."
"...Kek!"
"Heok, Seol-han! Are you okay?!"
Only after I downed the cup of water Kim Ji-su held out in one go did I finally calm down.
One wrong move and the rice cake would have plugged up my life along with it.
"The de-but team... I'd go straight into it, you say, me? When is this group even debuting......."
"This year......."
Weren't you people debuting only one boy group around this time?
You want to put me in that? Are you out of your mind?
I was so dumbfounded that I couldn't even speak, when all of a sudden a square internet window popped up before my eyes.
[Feature] Idol, I'll Try Becoming One Myself ①
What's this now. A hallucination?
I waved my hand at the window to get rid of it, but far from going away, it just stretched out even longer downward.
[Feature] Idol, I'll Try Becoming One Myself ①
■ Pyeong Seol-han Joins 'Solar Entertainment'
What would it be like for someone who has spent his whole life shining a spotlight on other people's stories to step under that spotlight himself?
The moment I submitted the pitch, I looked for the fastest way to become an idol trainee. Then, on the 1st, I got to talking with an entertainment agency employee I ran into on the street and was given the chance to join as a trainee. Joining the debut team the moment I signed—there was no reason to turn down such an unprecedented offer.
Ha, what kind of b—llshit is this now.......
"What are you staring at like that? Is there a bug or something?"
"No. I was just thinking for a moment."
Couldn't Kim Ji-su see this? In that case, it really must be a hallucination.
No, how can a hallucination be written like an internet article? Is this some kind of occupational disease, too? My head throbbed, whether from a relapse of my chronic migraine or simply blood rushing to it because I was pissed off.
"If you're torn, you don't have to decide right now. You can think it over slowly and call me at the number on the card!"
Apparently, in Kim Ji-su's eyes, it looked like I was agonizing over whether to accept the offer.
Become an idol trainee? No.
And if I had to debut in 'that group' of all things? Even more of a no.
Just as I was about to turn it down on the spot, deciding it wasn't a question worth agonizing over.
Another new window appeared beside the hallucination.
[Breaking] Pyeong Seol-han Fails to Join 'Solar Entertainment'... Found Dead at Home
Pyeong Seol-han was found dead at his home on the evening of the 1st.
The Seodaemun Police Station in Seoul was dispatched around 5 PM that day after receiving a report that a student living in a gosiwon in Seodaemun-gu, Seoul, had been found dead. A police official stated, 'So far we have found no signs of foul play, such as homicide, and it is presumed that he took his own life.'
The suicide note found at the scene reportedly contained content expressing despair over his circumstances.
Police are investigating the exact circumstances of the incident.
...Declaring a perfectly living person dead. Even fake news has its limits.
Barely holding down the anger shooting up, I read on through the content, and one word stood out in particular.
'A gosiwon?'
Living in a gosiwon was something that only happened after I'd graduated from college.
Me... that is, the original thirty-four-year-old me lives in a two-room villa.
Even considering that it's seven years ago now, it was a time when I'd managed to get a studio at least.
As a college student, I lived in the dorm during the semester, and during breaks I crashed at a high school classmate's rented room.
No matter how I fit the possibilities together, I couldn't arrive at the answer 'twenty-one-year-old me living in a gosiwon.'
Which meant.
'It's possible that not just my age, but my circumstances too, have changed a lot from what I knew.'
I don't know if it's a relapse of my chronic migraine or simply blood rushing to my head because I'm pissed off, but my head is throbbing badly.
What on earth is going on.
While I was pressing hard between my brows for a moment, my eyes met Kim Ji-su's beyond the hallucination.
Then Kim Ji-su flinched, like someone with a guilty conscience.
She'd been chattering away brightly until a moment ago, so what was with her all of a sudden?
For whatever reason, Kim Ji-su, who had been watching my mood with a gloomy face, carefully spoke up.
"Um... I'm sorry, Seol-han. I was way too pushy, wasn't I? You have every right to be mad."
Don't tell me she thinks I'm angry because of her.
Her offer was a bit baffling, sure, but not to the point of making me angry. She was far more decent than someone who blurts out that you're dead the moment you meet.
Before I invited any more pointless misunderstanding, it'd be better to send this one on her way for now.
"May I think it over a little more before I give you an answer? I'll contact you as soon as possible."
I'd only brushed her off vaguely, yet Kim Ji-su's expression brightened dramatically.
Before leaving, I compared the number of thousand-won bills that had been in my wallet with the prices written on the menu.
As expected, it was nowhere near enough.
And here I'd wanted to be a mature adult who paid for what he ate himself.
"...I'll definitely pay you back for the tteokbokki later."
"No, you don't have to pay me back! I've got plenty of money! It's payday soon!"
After paying, Kim Ji-su asked for permission to take a few photos to share only within her team, so I told her to go ahead.
Having wrapped up the photo time with all her heart and soul, Kim Ji-su said she'd see me again and disappeared around the corner of the alley.
Well then, now that there's no one left to worry about, shall I start by figuring out the situation?
Did I go crazy, or did the world?