Cha Gil-Do let out a dry laugh at those words. The thought of having to check the mental state of the man he had brought here to kill was laughable. Sending the physician away, he returned to the room where Baek Eun-Seong was. Nothing had changed. Nobody sought him, and no one wanted him, so no matter how broken his mind became, it was none of his concern.
And yet….
‘Can I die tomorrow.’
When he saw Baek Eun-Seong staring blankly into space and muttering that, his heart lurched. It was as if the man might vanish right before his eyes. If he shattered and turned to ash and slipped away like that, Gil-Do felt he would never be able to seize him again.
To be so self-destructive at any moment meant he had become cruel enough to discard himself coldly.
Gil-Do could not allow him to commit all the evils the world would never forgive and then run away like a coward.
He gripped Baek Eun-Seong’s hand firmly, making sure he would never shake free.
‘Don’t even dream of that.’
You cannot escape.
‘If you’re going to throw yourself away like that, then I’ll take you.’
You’re mine.
‘Live until I get sick of you.’
So until Gil-Do himself discarded him, Baek Eun-Seong could go nowhere.
Baek Eun-Seong was simpler and yet more difficult than expected. He seemed to watch for Gil-Do’s moods, yet always said what he wanted. He would gaze blankly at the cherry blossoms, but then reply as if waiting the moment he was told to go. Perhaps that was why, watching him, there was never a dull moment.
Then Gil-Do noticed his frail body. Thin enough that his collarbones jutted out, he remembered how disturbingly light he had been.
Though one day he would dispose of him, Gil-Do had no intention of starving him to death.
‘That kind of death is too much luxury for Baek Eun-Seong.’
Starvation alone could never make him pay for his sins.
And yet…
‘The entrée hasn’t even come out, and you’re done?’
‘Ent… rée?’
‘…….’
Even after only a few bites of fish, Baek Eun-Seong stopped eating. For an adult male, the amount was pitifully small. Gil-Do wondered if it might be some kind of eating disorder, but there was no sign of aversion to food itself.
‘So his weak body was all because of malnutrition?’
Gil-Do’s chest tightened.
Just then, a call came from Kang Ji-a. It was a call he had been waiting for, but for some reason he did not feel like answering.
-Let’s make the contract.
‘Why the sudden change of heart?’
-Just keep your promise.
‘If you want something from me, you have to prove yourself.’
-If I prove it, you’ll really get rid of Baek Eun-Seong?
‘Yes. If you can do that, I’ll erase him from your life as you wish.’
Gil-Do glanced at Baek Eun-Seong. Watching him staring down an ice cream as if in a battle of wills, he found himself laughing. Keeping him nearby so he could not do anything foolish—at least for now, that would not be boring.
‘Forever.’
But Baek Eun-Seong still tried to slip away from him. Pretending to be meek and submissive like a lunatic, he had deceived him and tried to escape. Gil-Do burned with fury. It was only natural for him to want to run, but the reason alone could not cool Gil-Do’s rage.
‘If he had gotten away, he would have gone to Kang Ji-a.’
He might have tried to continue the attempted crime he had left unfinished with her. That kind of trash would have.
So Gil-Do resolved to do to Baek Eun-Seong exactly what he had tried to do to Kang Ji-a. The fact that they were both men was no obstacle. If anything, he relished it as he claimed him.
Just seeing Baek Eun-Seong writhing beneath him made Gil-Do feel he might finish right then. Driving him without pause, he waited for the mask of innocence to be torn away. But instead of revealing his true nature, Baek Eun-Seong could hardly breathe.
It felt as if he were rejecting him entirely. Though his temper flared, Gil-Do could not press on. When he finally soothed him, he noticed something smeared on Baek Eun-Seong’s palm.
‘Paint?’
Why was there paint on his hand? Then Gil-Do saw the shirt he had stripped and thrown aside, stained with the same color.
Realizing something was off, he quickly asked Baek Eun-Seong.
‘Just answer me one thing… were you trying to escape there?’
Though tears streamed down his face, Baek Eun-Seong shook his head. Gil-Do’s heart thudded in his chest.
‘…Why?’
‘You… sniff, you said I could live….’
‘…….’
‘You said it was okay… hhic.’
Realizing something had been badly misunderstood, Gil-Do suddenly embraced him. Only after Baek Eun-Seong fainted in his arms did he carefully lay him down on the bed.
If he had not been trying to run, then what had he been doing?
The answer came soon enough.
Returning to the restaurant, Gil-Do went to the place where he had found Baek Eun-Seong. But no matter how he looked, there was nothing special.
Then it happened.
A child’s voice came from nearby.
“Wow, it’s a sakura tree!”
“No, dummy. That’s a cherry blossom painting! Right, Mom?”
“Were there cherry blossoms here? Honey, isn’t that a cherry blossom painting?”
“What are you talking about, it’s obviously… huh? Is it a painting?”
Following the voices, Gil-Do froze on the spot. A vast cherry blossom scene spread out, alive and breathing. It was clearly a painting, but the faint fragrance he knew filled his chest, making his heart ache. It was the same cherry blossoms he had once seen with Baek Eun-Seong.
* * *
When I was about to pull away in embarrassment, Cha Gil-Do pulled my waist in with one hand.
“Uht.”
Dragged in without resistance, I grabbed his shoulder in surprise. The position felt… strange.
Cha Gil-Do spoke.
“You seemed to be enjoying it. Keep going.”
“…I want to stop.”
“Why.”
“It just feels strange….”
“Then should I be the one doing it.”
He said that with a smile between his teeth. I did not fully understand what he meant, but I knew it was because of the gap between the Baek Eun-Seong he knew and the me standing before him. I could not explain that I had entered a book, nor could I act like the Baek Eun-Seong of the original story, so I had no way to ease that sense of discrepancy he felt.
Then he asked me,
“Don’t you wonder what kind of person you were?”
“I know roughly.”
“What do you know.”
What I knew about Baek Eun-Seong: an extra, a villain. I did not know the details of his crimes, but I remembered the word Kang Ji-a had spat as she slapped him.
That word fit Baek Eun-Seong best.
“Trash.”
“…….”
At my words, Cha Gil-Do’s face chilled. The reaction startled me.
“Am I wrong?”
“You’re right.”
It was the correct answer, so why glare at me like that….
The question rose to my throat, but I swallowed it. Gil-Do clutched my waist tightly, drawing me closer. The pain was one thing, but I felt something pressing against me below. When I tried to look down, he asked,
“And you.”
“…Yes?”
“What kind of person is Kim Dong-Yoon.”
The sudden question left me speechless. I had never really examined myself, so I had no neat definition.
I grew up in an institution without parents, but I had no sense of tact. I was not smart either, so my grades were poor and I was not athletic. The only thing I liked and could do was art, so I had gone to university for it, but my lack of social skills left me with few connections. I often wondered how I would survive after graduation.
Aside from working on art, I was lazy and slothful, hardly the type society needed. Words like “caterpillar” or “sloth” might sound cute, but people usually called such useless humans this:
“…Trash.”
Gil-Do’s expression twisted fiercely. Startled, I looked at him, and he covered his face with a hand, asking,
“Why is Kim Dong-Yoon trash like Baek Eun-Seong?”
“Because I have no value.”
“What kind of value.”
“Um… the value of (living) as a person?”
The instant those words left my lips, his grip on my waist tightened.
“Ugh.”
It hurt so badly I grabbed his wrist.
“H-hey, it hurts…!”
When I looked at him, wondering why he was crushing my flesh, I saw the murderous glint in his blue eyes.
“What on earth are you…!”
But he cut himself off. The crack of his teeth grinding filled the air. The heat in his face drained away in an instant, and I broke into a nervous sweat. He finally released my waist and stood.
“Let’s end this talk.”
After that, Gil-Do never asked again about “Kim Dong-Yoon.”
If he had pressed, I would have been troubled, but not mentioning it at all left me feeling unsettled in another way….
* * *
A lazy afternoon.
I was lazing about on the bed when I noticed Cha Gil-Do, impeccably dressed. He looked good in anything. That aura of being untouchable, the perfect male lead. He truly was from a different world than me. Watching him prepare to go out, I suddenly asked,
“Are you going out?”
Gil-Do glanced at me as he put on his outer coat and replied,
“You too, Baek Eun-Seong. Get ready.”
Why me?
It was like a bolt from the blue when all I wanted was to sink back into sleep.
“I’m going too?”
“…….”
He looked at me without a word, then flicked his fingers against my forehead. It did not hurt much, but it shocked me awake, and I held the spot.
With a faint smile, he let out a low, gentle voice.
“We’re going to the gallery. Just get ready simply.”