* * *
The moment Cha Gil-Do came home from work, he immediately asked the servant who greeted him,
“Baek Eun-Seong.”
“He is in the greenhouse. He seemed to like the cherry tree.”
“…Is that so?”
The corner of Cha Gil-Do’s lips twitched as he strode quickly toward the greenhouse. Inside, he saw the familiar back. Still a bit clumsy as if not yet used to the space—that awkwardness looked… cute….
Cha Gil-Do shook his head at the careless thought. Before it went further, he approached Baek Eun-Seong and said,
“I told them to stock everything, but if something’s missing, tell me.”
“Um, why is this place….”
Could it be…?
The word memory gap tried to claw its way into Cha Gil-Do’s gut.
“Did you forget? I told you last time I’d make this for you.”
“But I said I didn’t need it….”
Thankfully, he hadn’t forgotten. Cha Gil-Do relaxed slightly, able to continue the conversation.
“I need it. I want to see more.”
“…See what?”
“Your world.”
What he truly meant was: a world for you to live in. One you’d want to survive in, where you’d stop talking about dying. He didn’t question why the thought came—he just wanted Baek Eun-Seong to live.
Perhaps his heart had been heard, because Baek Eun-Seong only looked back at him in silence. That reaction secretly pleased him, and his gaze dropped to Baek Eun-Seong’s lips beginning to move.
‘It’s troublesome if I get moved over something so small.’
Unaware of the smile tugging at his mouth, Cha Gil-Do glanced at him. Finally, Eun-Seong spoke.
“…The afterlife?”
Why did those words sound like he wanted to die?
An indescribable feeling seized Cha Gil-Do. To break free from it, he let out a strange laugh and placed his hand on Baek Eun-Seong’s small head. Running his fingers through the soft hair, he said,
“I want to open it up and see what’s inside here.”
“Wow….”
“What.”
Now, every time Baek Eun-Seong opened his mouth, Cha Gil-Do grew uneasy. But ignoring his reaction, Baek Eun-Seong said,
“I’ve heard that a lot before.”
At those words, the strength drained out of him. He flicked that smooth forehead and said it wasn’t a compliment. Eun-Seong answered that he knew.
‘Knows, my ass.’
He still didn’t look happy. It wasn’t just because his body was weak. He still hadn’t forgotten. That bastard dog who had tried to bite him.
‘I’m right here, so what’s there to be afraid of?’
Cha Gil-Do stared at him. If he opened his eyes, he should see who stood in front of him. But Baek Eun-Seong averted his gaze—as if he were no different from that dog.
Something inside Cha Gil-Do snapped. He bit down hard on Baek Eun-Seong’s nape. This time, Eun-Seong cried out, clearly in pain—and that only provoked him further.
When he tried to push him away, Cha Gil-Do forced him onto the table. Baek Eun-Seong, panting, looked up at him—something Cha Gil-Do wanted no one else to ever see.
Without stopping, he lifted his legs. Only then did Baek Eun-Seong ask,
“…Why my legs?”
“You said it’s hard to forget. That’s why you feel so fucked up right now.”
If the memory was that hard to erase, he would overwrite it with something heavier. He wanted to occupy even his thoughts. But Baek Eun-Seong, oblivious, only looked blank.
“Think until your head bursts.”
He sank his teeth into the pale, thin ankle. The tender flesh in his mouth was sweet. Baek Eun-Seong began to thrash. The more he did, the harder Cha Gil-Do pressed down on his soft, flat belly, biting from ankle upward. He left marks on wrist, calf, nape, collarbone—anywhere his teeth could sink. Then, soothing the flushed, bruised skin with his tongue, he found that Baek Eun-Seong endured the licking less than the biting.
“St-stop… please.”
“Better not beg. It’ll only egg me on.”
Baek Eun-Seong shut his mouth. Instead, he looked at him with tear-filled eyes, as if trying to provoke him. How ridiculous—to think that would sway him. And yet, even more ridiculous was that Cha Gil-Do wanted to give in. He stopped thinking. Letting desire lead, he leaned down to devour the lips he had been holding back from.
“What are you doing.”
Baek Eun-Seong covered his mouth with both hands. Already on edge, Cha Gil-Do almost snapped.
“Take your hands down.”
But he only shook his head. He had expected resistance, but being refused still made fury surge. Grabbing his wrists, he was about to pull them away when Baek Eun-Seong cried out,
“F-forget it!”
“…?”
For a moment, he didn’t understand. He had told him to forget that dog.
“You told me to forget, so why do you keep…!”
Only then did Cha Gil-Do realize what he meant. His lips were twitching upward, hard to stop. Bursting with joy, he pulled Baek Eun-Seong in and kissed him. Clinging, winding around the root of his tongue once, the taste was sweet enough to melt.
When he finally pulled back after stirring him deep inside, sticky threads of saliva connected them. Baek Eun-Seong panted, dazed, looking at him as if intoxicated. Cha Gil-Do embraced him, struggling to hold back his laughter, and whispered,
“So you hated it so much… was this it?”
“What?”
“This. This is what I told you to forget.”
Overwhelmed by the swelling inside him, he kissed him again. When their lips met, Baek Eun-Seong squeezed his eyes shut. Even that was mesmerizing.
“You idiot.”
Realizing the gloom earlier was because he had told him to forget their kiss, Cha Gil-Do was unstoppable. He kissed him again and again, not leaving room for such thoughts to return. When Baek Eun-Seong, face flushed, begged him to stop, he wasn’t convinced at all.
Teasing, he asked,
“What, afraid I’ll tell you to forget this too?”
Every brush of skin only spurred him on. If he was embarrassed, he’d just keep going until he got used to it. Just as uncontrollable desire was about to swallow him—
“Kang Ji-a…!”
At the sound of her name from Baek Eun-Seong’s lips, his joy crashed down.
“What?”
“You should be doing this with Kang Ji-a, n—not me…!”
Cha Gil-Do clamped his mouth shut. Grinding his teeth against the violent storm inside, curses nearly spilled. Rage boiled to the roots of his hair.
“With who?”
After kissing him like this, after coming undone—he said it should be with Kang Ji-a?
Impossible.
“Baek Eun-Seong, I don’t care what kind of fucked-up thoughts you have, but don’t drag Kang Ji-a into them.”
Never.
“If you understand, answer me.”
Baek Eun-Seong stubbornly kept his mouth shut. The longer he stalled, the more it felt like Cha Gil-Do’s insides were burning black. Then Eun-Seong stoked the fire again.
“I want to leave. I don’t want to be here anymore.”
“You think you can get out?”
“…Yes.”
Something snapped. Like crashing to the bottom and shattering. Cha Gil-Do stared into the air, forcing down what threatened to explode. If he lost control now, he would do something unforgivable.
“Why do you keep spewing this shit….”
His eyes dropped to Baek Eun-Seong. His gaze traced arms, legs—the easiest ways to bind.
Should he tie him? No, he could just untie himself. Better to make him unusable entirely….
What if he couldn’t see? What if he couldn’t speak?
If he ruined everything Baek Eun-Seong had, he’d never dare dream of escape.
As if sensing his cruel thoughts, Baek Eun-Seong began trembling. Strangely, the fury inside him waned at that sight. Releasing his grip on his chin, even that small movement made Baek Eun-Seong freeze.
“Baek Eun-Seong.”
“……”
“I won’t do more. Look at me.”
Baek Eun-Seong lifted his eyes. Beautiful enough to erase all thoughts of breaking him. Tears welled and streamed down from those terrified eyes. Pitiful, fragile—and still, he could never let go.
Cha Gil-Do didn’t hide his feelings. No, he showed them openly, cupping Baek Eun-Seong’s face gently. Wiping his tears, he pressed closer.
“What have you done to cry like that.”
It was him who had overturned everything.
He had no intention of comforting Baek Eun-Seong. No matter how wretched his face looked, no matter how desperately he struggled to escape,
Cha Gil-Do bound him tight and whispered a low warning.
“Cry all you want, you’re not leaving.”
His gaze on Baek Eun-Seong was ice cold.