Cha Gil-Do muttered something, then tried to push his fingers between my buttocks. Startled, I lifted my upper body slightly and grabbed his wrist.
“…What are you doing?”
Was he really trying to put his fingers there? Why? For what reason?
“You might be new to this as a man, but I don’t intend to go easy on you, so don’t make it obvious.”
And unbelievably, his fingers slid inside.
‘What is this, what is he trying to do?’
Something that shouldn’t enter—something you’d never show in front of others—was going in.
“Ah!”
As more fingers slipped in and stretched me, embarrassing, squelching sounds filled the air. Even though I wanted to push them out, Cha Gil-Do was as heavy and immovable as a boulder. All I could do was swallow my labored breathing.
Then—thump. Something struck my lower belly. A new sense of crisis made me look down, and there it was: Cha Gil-Do’s cock.
As a fellow man, its overwhelming size was so unreal that I could only ask,
“…Doesn’t that feel uncomfortable?”
“It’ll be uncomfortable for you.”
He was the one who was big, so why me…?
But my confusion was soon answered.
That weapon-like cock pressed against the place where his fingers had been. Horrified, I shoved at his abdomen and blurted out,
“Why, why there!”
“Where else is there to thrust in your body?”
Thrust in, he said—how vulgar!
I shook my head furiously. That wasn’t an entrance, it was an exit! How could he possibly get in there?!
“If you don’t want to tear, relax.”
And then, something hot and hard pressed at me from below. I couldn’t even speak, couldn’t bear to look, so I covered my face with my hands.
And then—
“H-heuk!”
So shocked I hiccupped, my whole body trembling. Every muscle locked, I gasped like I was about to suffocate. Only then did Cha Gil-Do stop.
“Baek Eun-Seong.”
He called my name and yanked away the hands covering my face. I turned my head aside, wheezing and choking like an animal, unable to breathe. My vision blurred. I beat at my chest and thrashed my head, but nothing worked. Then Cha Gil-Do quickly supported my neck with his hand, cupping my cheek—not roughly this time—and said,
“Breathe.”
“Hhh—uhh, huhk.”
“Baek Eun-Seong. I said breathe.”
“Hhh… hhhhuuhk.”
I don’t want to die like this.
Cha Gil-Do suddenly pulled me into a crushing embrace and bit down hard on my shoulder. Somehow, that shock jolted my breath back.
“Relax and breathe properly.”
His hand stroked my back as if soothing me.
“It’s not that hard. That’s right, like that.”
“Hhh… hhhuuhh…”
The touch on my back calmed my breath at last, but then the tears wouldn’t stop. I’d been so sure I was about to die.
No voice would come, only hiccups. I had thought that even if I died, I’d just return to my real self, so there was nothing to fear—but I was wrong.
“Uhh… hhic, hhhhuuhk.”
I want to live long here, I want to grow old and become a grandfather.
“Baek Eun-Seong.”
I couldn’t handle this situation at all. Even when he called, I couldn’t raise my head from his chest. Instead, I clutched his hand, begging him silently not to be any scarier.
Cha Gil-Do looked down at my hand in his and opened his palm as if checking something, his expression unsettled.
“Why are your hands….”
“Hhic, hhhhuuhhk.”
“Baek Eun-Seong… Baek Eun-Seong.”
“Kk, hhic, hhhhuuhhk.”
He lifted my face.
“Let me ask just one thing. Were you trying to run away from there?”
His voice had softened, and my tears fell so heavily I could hardly see his face.
Why would I run away? I had nowhere to go. I shook my head.
“…Why not?”
“Because you… hhhuuhh, you said I could live….”
“……”
“You said I could… hhhuuhhh…”
At that, Cha Gil-Do suddenly grabbed the back of my head and pulled me into his chest. He gently stroked my back and hair as he said,
“Right, I did say that….”
I couldn’t hear the rest of his voice. Slowly, I blacked out.
* * *
When I opened my eyes, I was lying on the bed. Blankly staring at the ceiling, I tried to get up, but a tearing pain surged through my whole body, forcing me to curl forward.
It hurt.
The pain was so unfamiliar, so overwhelming I broke out in cold sweat. Images flashed through my mind.
I almost had an accident with the male lead.
‘…Was this drama’s genre a makjang after all?’
As I was lost in grim thought, the door opened and Cha Gil-Do came in. Our eyes met, and I flinched, quickly looking away. Without a word, he approached and set down what he was holding on the nightstand—a bowl of porridge.
When he reached out toward me, I instinctively leaned back. I didn’t mean to avoid him, but after what happened, even facing him was too much.
He withdrew his hand and asked,
“How’s your body?”
“…Hurts.”
“No fever. Where—your back?”
“Yeah….”
My whole body felt beaten, my back included, so I nodded vaguely.
“…Lie down on your stomach.”
“Huh?”
“You said it hurts.”
“I-I’ll handle it myself.”
“You can’t reach.”
“I’ll try!”
“You don’t have to.”
“I said I’ll do it!”
“Next time.”
“No, now!”
“Fine, fine.”
“Ahh! Don’t pull my clothes up!”
Cha Gil-Do laid me across his lap and in a blink lifted my shirt.
“Oh my God.”
Mortified, I covered my face with both hands, trembling. I hadn’t known even I had this much shame.
Why was the male lead doing this to me?
Meanwhile, Cha Gil-Do spread something on my back.
“It has to be applied evenly.”
“Ahhh!”
The cool, smooth sensation shocked me, but soon the ointment warmed, easing the stiffness and melting my body. Holding my waist steady, he calmly rubbed in the cream with no change in expression.
“Baek Eun-Seong.”
“……”
“Baek Eun-Seong, you can get up now.”
“Eek!”
Before I knew it, he was finished. Snapping out of it, I hurriedly pulled my shirt down. He tidied up the ointment and wiped his hands.
“Come twice a day, morning and night, to have it applied.”
“……”
Should I say I didn’t want to? But honestly, it hadn’t been that bad….
“Baek Eun-Seong.”
“……”
“Baek Eun-Seong.”
“……”
I stayed silent, trapped between yes and no. Suddenly, Cha Gil-Do came right up to me and said,
“Eun-Seong-ah.”
The way he dropped my surname was so strange that I looked at him without meaning to. He had lowered himself, kneeling at my knees, holding both my hands.
The face I always looked up at was suddenly right before me—his sharp, handsome eyes, nose, and lips.
“Will this ease your heart a little?”
I was so flustered at that sight, I couldn’t say a word.
Looking closely—I realized, Cha Gil-Do was kneeling. Shocked, I blurted,
“W-what are you doing?”
“My own way of reflecting.”
“Don’t do that!”
I grabbed his arms and yanked, and he awkwardly let himself be pulled up. I managed to sit him down on the bed. Why did he keep doing things he normally wouldn’t? Could he be trying to kill the extra villain this way? Judging by my pounding heart, it seemed possible.
The moment I looked up, our eyes met, and Cha Gil-Do spoke.
“Do you like drawing?”
“Huh?”
“Drawing.”
The sudden change of topic was a relief.
“Yeah… kind of….”
Art wasn’t an easy choice. The costs were high, the job prospects narrow. Still, I chose it—because if I didn’t, I’d feel like I’d dry up and die. It was the only vivid color in my grayscale life.
“To finish a mural in that short time, you must have drawn more than a day or two.”
A mural? Ah, he must have seen what I painted at the restaurant.
“That’s just because I’d worked part-time doing it before….”
“‘Kim Dong-Yoon,’ so that’s how it was.”
When Cha Gil-Do spoke my real name instead of Baek Eun-Seong, it felt strange. It was my name, but it sounded unfamiliar.
“What about now—not the old Kim Dong-Yoon, but the Baek Eun-Seong you are?”
Old Kim Dong-Yoon or Kim Dong-Yoon as Baek Eun-Seong—it was all me. I wanted to say there was no difference, but I bit my tongue. He thought of me as another personality of Baek Eun-Seong.
Well, who would believe me if I said I’d entered a book? There was no way to explain it.
When I didn’t answer, Cha Gil-Do said,
“Should I build you a studio?”