Situ Xuan’s brow furrowed tightly at the mention of Jia She’s name. He had known something was wrong since the first time Jia She appeared in his dreams. The harder he tried to suppress his feelings, the more uncontrollable they became. He dreamed of Jia She more and more frequently; sometimes, he could see Jia She’s smile the moment he closed his eyes, and he would occasionally find himself lost in thought, mistaking those around him for Jia She.
Initially, Situ Xuan had been furious with himself for being so composed, but eventually, his anger faded into a helpless resignation. The more he fought to keep someone out of his mind, the more persistent those thoughts became. He began to care about Jia She, his whereabouts, and his every move in Yangzhou. Once, while drunk, he became physically aroused while fantasizing about Jia She. In that moment, he was gripped by panic and terror, going mad and smashing the palace decor. Yet, later that night, he dreamed of Jia She again.
The dream had been one of unprecedented ease and pleasure; he had never realized he could be so uninhibited. Deep within his heart, a beast named desire had been caged, and that beast had been unleashed by Jia She. Situ Xuan began to resent himself, but after a long while, he came to an understanding. He was the Emperor of this world; if he wanted Jia She, why couldn’t he have him? He had wanted the throne and eventually sat upon it. He wanted Jia She, and in the end, he would have him too.
Situ Xuan reconciled with his desires, facing his crumbling heart head-on. As a dignified Emperor, he had actually fallen in love with someone, and that someone was a man. He continued flipping through the account books, pretending to ask casually, “Jia She also went to Yangzhou. Did you not encounter him?”
He could not focus on the text, as his mind was occupied by whether Situ Ruo and Jia She had met in Yangzhou. If they had, what had they discussed? Jia She did not inherently dislike Situ Ruo, and as a Prince with both wealth and power, it was inevitable that Jia She might, as the rumors suggested, seek to curry favor with him.
Situ Ruo, unaware of Situ Xuan’s train of thought, sighed lightly. “I was busy with the salt gang affairs. When I went to the Lin manor, I only saw Lin Ruhai briefly before leaving. I only learned that Jia She had gone to Yangzhou after I returned.”
Seeing Situ Xuan ask whether he had met Jia She, Situ Ruo immediately guessed that Situ Xuan would not hold Jia Zheng’s mistakes against Jia She. Upon hearing that Situ Ruo had not encountered Jia She in Yangzhou, the chaotic and extreme thoughts in Situ Xuan’s mind vanished, and he smiled at Situ Ruo. “You have worked hard. Get some good rest during this time.”
Situ Ruo saw that Situ Xuan was in a good mood, which was baffling given how furious he had been upon seeing the names in the account book moments before. Emperors were truly unpredictable. “Imperial Brother, since you say I have worked hard, could I ask for a reward? I recall that a few years ago, a nation presented a piece of rare medicinal jade. Could you bestow that jade upon me?”
Situ Xuan laughed and said calmly, “Get out.” Giving the medicinal jade to Situ Ruo would only lead to him using it to curry favor with Jia She. He would have to be an idiot to do such a thing. He had not yet determined if Jia She liked Situ Ruo, and he could not afford to give Situ Ruo an opportunity to flatter him. Situ Ruo’s preoccupation with Jia She was far beyond that of an ordinary friend.
Situ Ruo muttered, feeling that Situ Xuan was being stingy. “Jia She is dying, and I only wanted to give him the jade so he might live a little longer. You are a magnanimous Emperor; that jade is just gathering dust in your treasury. Why not bestow it upon me?”
At the thought of Jia She dying, Situ Xuan felt a dull ache in his heart and clutched his chest, exhaling softly. Situ Ruo, fearing he had upset the Emperor, stood up quickly. “Well, Imperial Brother, I suddenly remember an important matter I must attend to. I shall take my leave.” It was just a piece of jade; he had brought back chests of gold and silver from Yangzhou, yet the Emperor was far too stingy.
After Situ Ruo left, Situ Xuan felt the Imperial Study was suddenly far too quiet. Would Jia She ever return? Dragging his ailing body all the way to Yangzhou just for Jia Min—was she really that important? Important enough to neglect his own children?
Situ Xuan set down the account book and opened the pile of memorials from the Censors, all of which were impeaching Jia She. Looking at them, he felt as if he could see Jia She’s life. Last New Year, Jia She spent thousands of taels on an antique fan, and the Censors impeached him for luxury. In June, Jia She pampered his illegitimate children while ignoring his legitimate son, Jia Lian, leading to impeachment for violating the proper order of rank. During the New Year, Jia She did not send gifts to the major families, and he was impeached for his arrogance.
Situ Xuan silently recorded Jia She’s preferences: he liked fans, listening to music, his illegitimate children, but disliked tedious rules and Jia Zheng’s wife. Previously, Situ Xuan had felt the Censors were simply bored, but now he felt there were not enough memorials. If there were enough of them, he could piece together Jia She’s daily life from their complaints. Situ Xuan felt he was poisoned with a toxin named Jia She; whenever he had a spare moment, he could not control his thoughts and would subconsciously focus on him. He sighed inwardly, When will these tormenting days ever end?
In October, the weather turned chilly. Jia Min’s condition worsened; she was once comatose for three days, and had it not been for a constant supply of rare medicinal herbs, she would not have lasted this long. Toward the end of the year, Lin Ruhai was incredibly busy, socializing outside and comforting Lin Daiyu at home.
Lin Daiyu had been exercising with Jia She for nearly half a year. Though she still appeared frail, her physical constitution had undergone a radical change. Lin Ruhai was astonished and summoned a veteran physician to check her pulse. The doctor confirmed that her condition was improving and her underlying deficiencies were gradually disappearing; if she maintained this, her frailty would not affect her longevity.
Upon hearing this, Lin Ruhai nearly wept with joy, and afterward, Jia Min held him and sobbed. Both parents were profoundly grateful to Jia She. Jia She waved it off. “I did not do much. I am just glad you do not blame me for letting Daiyu run around and cause mischief.”
Although Lin Ruhai never said it aloud, he had initially felt that such exercise was unbefitting for a young lady of an aristocratic family. He had been planning to entrust Lin Daiyu to Jia She because he knew his own life was short, so even if he had complaints, he kept them to himself. He never imagined that those “unrefined” exercises would have such a profound effect. As long as her health improved, he would support her learning martial arts with both hands.
Lin Daiyu understood the benefits of the exercise and knew the tea Jia She gave her was no ordinary brew. She drank other teas and slept restlessly, but only with Jia She’s tea could she sleep through the night. A good night’s sleep led to a better spirit the next day. The doctor had long stated that her deficiencies were primarily due to her sensitive and contemplative nature. Lately, aside from accompanying her mother, her days were packed with Jia She’s arrangements, and she no longer wept upon returning to her room as she once had.
Jia Min’s comas grew longer, and even Jia She’s spiritual tea began to lose its effect. The physician told Lin Ruhai that Jia Min had only days left. Lin Daiyu wept like a broken stream, emitting vast amounts of spiritual energy from her body. Jia She felt heartbroken; although this energy helped his cultivation, he could find no joy in it. He watched Lin Daiyu drink the spiritual tea daily, but the energy dissipated was far greater than what she consumed. His own capacity to absorb the energy was limited, and once his dantian was saturated, he could only watch the precious energy dissipate into the world.
After Jia Min vomited blood and fell into a coma again, Lin Daiyu wept until she fainted. When she awoke, she saw Jia Min in a remarkably spirited state and her heart sank. Jia Min reached out, her eyes filled with tears, and instructed her patiently: “When you arrive at the Rong Mansion, you must listen to your Great Uncle. I will not be able to watch you grow up.”
Lin Daiyu did not dare to cry aloud, fearing she would miss her mother’s final instructions if she fainted again. After Jia Min finished speaking to Daiyu, she slowly reached for Lin Ruhai. Lin Ruhai’s eyes were red as he grasped her hand firmly, his voice hoarse. “Please rest assured, my dear. I have arranged everything; our daughter will grow up healthy and happy.”
Jia Min nodded gently and turned her gaze toward Jia She. Jia She spoke first: “Rest assured, Sister. From now on, Daiyu will be as my own daughter.” Jia Min gave him a weak, grateful smile. “Thank you, Brother. I entrust her to you. If she is ever disobedient, please guide her with patience and never lose faith in her.”
Jia She replied with utmost sincerity, “That day will never come. Trust me.” Jia Min nodded with a smile, a tear sliding from the corner of her eye, her voice barely a whisper. “I have walked this earth, and with a husband I love and a clever daughter, I am satisfied.”
Her voice faded, and as she held Lin Ruhai’s hand, she closed her eyes with a smile. Lin Daiyu threw herself before Jia Min. “Mother, do not sleep! Open your eyes and look at me again. I do not want you to sleep!”
Lin Ruhai turned away, closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and helped the heartbroken Lin Daiyu to her feet. “Be obedient, Daiyu. Your mother is gone. You must follow her wishes and not grieve too deeply. If she knew you were suffering so, she would not be able to leave in peace.”
Lin Daiyu wiped her tears with her sleeves, but they kept flowing no matter how much she wiped. Jia She stepped forward and hugged her, whispering, “Cry if you must, but you must promise Great Uncle that once some time has passed, you will not cry like this again.” It was natural to grieve for a loved one, and forcing her to hold it all in would only harm her health.
Lin Daiyu turned and clung to Jia She’s waist, sobbing, “Great Uncle, Yu’er has no mother left.”
Hearing her heartbroken cries, Jia She felt a profound ache. “Yu’er still has her Great Uncle and her father.” Lin Daiyu eventually cried until she fainted in his arms.
Jia She told Lin Ruhai, “You must attend to the affairs of the house; let me take care of Daiyu.” Lin Ruhai bowed to him with solemn respect and, suppressing his grief, ordered the servants to prepare for the funeral.
Jia Min had been ill for a long time, so everything had been prepared in advance. Aristocratic funerals were complex, and even with Jia She’s health, supporting Lin Daiyu felt as if he had lost half his life. Worried for Daiyu’s well-being, he found every possible way to replenish her spiritual energy. He would conjure fresh vegetables in the middle of the night and secretly swap them into her meals. Jia She was unwilling to let her perform the funeral vigil, but seeing her tearful eyes, he gave in. He knew that if he forbade her from observing the vigil, she would spend the rest of her life in pain and regret.
By the time the funeral concluded, it was the first month of the following year. Jia She received a letter from Yingchun asking when he would return, mentioning that Jia Cong had started his studies and that they missed him dearly. Lin Ruhai, despite his reluctance, knew he could not keep Lin Daiyu. He asked Lin An to invite Jia She to discuss the arrangements for their departure.