-Liliruca Arde-
She was in deep shit. That’s what Lili realized the moment she stepped into the Dungeon with someone she thought was just a dumb rookie too high on his horse.
When she got kicked out of Ged’s party, Lili was glad she had purposely lagged behind the previous day to steal part of the prick’s profits.
She would just have to do the whole song and dance again. Change form to something more conspicuous, like a poor little Chienthrophe with droopy ears and a tail hidden between her legs. That one always garnered her some sort of pity from the more naïve Adventurers.
Yet, what she didn’t expect was for an idiot in cobalt armor of all things to knock her previous ‘’Master’’ down and outright steal his money!
A part of her thought that maybe, just maybe, it was a little blessing for poor, pitiable Lili. A clear target she had never seen before, obviously stupid and inexperienced if his choice of armor and promise of payment was anything to go by.
‘What kind of rookie hires a Supporter for ten thousand valis?’ She thought. ‘He doesn’t even have a party. It’s just the two of us.’
But her theory started to crack. If he was that confident in getting such a high amount of money with just a pitiable Supporter and himself… She hadn’t stumbled into a High-Class Adventurer, had she?!
‘’Um… Master Roy?’’ She made sure to keep her voice meek as she approached. The man was currently whistling to himself while retrieving his throwing knives from a Kobold’s carcass. ‘’May I ask, how deep inside do you wish to go?’’
‘’Hm? Oh.’’ Roy scratched his chin, releasing a small grunt as he got up from his kneeling position and fully turned to her. ‘’Well, I did get permission from my Advisor to go all the way to floor ten… but eh, our Captain will probably insist on taking the whole squad for the first dive. Adorable worrywart that she is.’’
‘’I see…’’ She hummed, pulling out a small knife and following the steps to remove the Kobold’s magic stone. Like usual, it was as easy as breathing. ‘’It sounds like Master Roy’s Captain is a very good Captain.’’
‘’Ha! You try convincing her of that! Like seriously, I only almost died one time. Just the one!’’ He cackled.
Lili followed along with her own, practiced laugh.
For once, Lili thanked the man for being so chatty. With just a question, she had gathered that Roy Raynolds was probably someone ‘experienced’, possibly right in the middle of Level One, but if his Captain was also just recently allowed entry to the Tenth Floor, then at least she didn’t need to worry about a vengeful Level Two Adventurer chasing her down after the act.
Yet Lili couldn’t help but think she'd been paired with an idiot nonetheless.
‘’And I'm just trying so damn hard to get you home, so why we playing these silly games~’’ The man sang a tune Lili didn’t recognize.
Another Adventurer taking a Dungeon Dive so lightly would have unnerved her, especially as they finally set foot near the seventh floor, a place that could both spawn the silent and deadly War Shadows or the never-ending flow of Killer Ants.
Crack.
When one of the former exited the wall, Lili pulled out her crossbow, ready to fire and cover for Roy’s carelessness. Her finger hesitated for a second while she held the trigger.
Maybe… if she let him get himself killed due to his own idiocy, Lili could just loot his stuff and get the money he promised her?
‘’Girl we both grown. I'm so addicted to youuuu~’’ But the Monster didn’t even have time to use its deadly claws to swipe at Roy. It was like a switch had been flipped as those chocolate eyes narrowed, and in a quick swipe of his hand, a throwing knife went flying and pierced clean through the crowned head of the beast, killing it in the act. ‘’Girl, you got me blown, and I’m so high, and I’m so high, and I’m so high…~!’’
‘Quick fingers.’ Lili noted down with narrowed eyes. ‘It’s not carelessness but confidence. Maybe I won’t be able to catch this one off-guard after all.’
Instead of pondering, Lili aimed her crossbow and pressed the trigger. An iron bolt flew through the air and nailed another War Shadow in the shoulder. She clicked her tongue, loading another bolt and this time finishing it for good with a shot to the head before the Monster could react.
The Adventurer was caught between two more of the living shadows that followed right after the first.
He ducked under a wide, sharp set of claws, using the War Shadow’s momentum to grab onto its arm and push it into its fellow Monster. For a moment, Lili thought his eyes narrowed, and a click of the tongue escaped him, but it went away a moment later, replaced by a snobbish grin as he ducked and managed to destabilize both monsters into the ground with a quick leg-swipe.
A tiny sphere was unclipped from beneath his dark cloak. Lili’s eyes widened in surprise, because she recognised the item pretty well.
‘A Supporter item?’ She thought as Roy threw the object at the monsters. The volatile silk expanded, trapping strong claws beneath its clutches, pinning both monsters down and forcing them to thrash against the silk. ‘Is he the Supporter of his Familia? Is that why he stepped in to help earlier? Was he just taking pity on someone just like him?’
Her hands tightened against the wood of her weapon. ‘What a joke.’ She thought bitterly. Someone who could dispatch monsters that easily and without a care, a Supporter like her?
It really showed the lack of talent she had been aware of for years, but it didn’t make the fact sting any less.
Without fanfare, she fired twice, and both pinned War Shadows died with a bolt through the head. It was only after the fact that she remembered the Adventurer in front of her.
After all, the prideful pricks didn’t like getting their Excelia ‘’stolen’’.
‘’Nice aim you got there.’’ Instead of scorn, Roy offered praise and a nod, further cementing the idea that the man may actually be the Supporter of his group. ‘’But really, it was to be expected. Something called to me that you knew your shit, lil gal.’’
Her left brow twitched at the mention of her stature, but she swallowed down the venom in her tone. Offering her own praise instead. ‘’No, no… Master Roy is really incredible. Dealing with War Shadows so efficiently. Lili just stole your kills, so she apologizes.’’
‘’Damn, who put so much belt to your ass for you to talk like that?’’ He raised an eyebrow, making her freeze. Suddenly, ‘realization’ entered his eyes. ‘’Ah, I get it. All them praises going to the final price, huh? Guess not even this place is safe from hidden fees.’’
‘’L-Lili would never!’’ She protested. In reality, she did use sweetened words to inflate many Adventurers' egos and get more money, but she had never been called out on it! ‘’This lowly Support swears on her life. Lili would never cheat Master Roy from his rightful—‘’
‘’Cut that. It was funny the first few times, now I’m starting to genuinely feel bad.’’ He waved her off, taking a step forward that made her almost flinch… if it wasn’t because he was just handing her the four iron bolts she had just used. ‘’I respect the hustle, so chill, will ya?’’
‘When did he pick them up…?’ Lili had never seen him crouch for it, but she shook her head and took them with a tiny, tight smile. ‘’Ah… Lili is thankful.’’
‘’Yeah, sure.’’ He chuckled with a knowing stare that made her skin crawl. ‘’Now, let me just cut this silk off so you can bisect them fuckers—Hm?’’
The man’s head snapped to the side. Lili frowned in confusion, only to hear the soft bat of a pair of wings a second later.
‘A Purple Moth? No, it’s lighter. Then, it must be…’ From one of the floor’s many connecting caves, she caught sight of a pair of blue wings. ‘A Blue Papillo!’
Sure enough, the creature revealed itself entirely. A butterfly-like creature the size of her torso, with four see-through blue wings that, with each flap, released a small cloud of powder. Enough to make any mixing apprentice or potion merchant salivate.
‘’Finally, I’ve been searching all over for this fucker!’’ The man shouted, breaking Lili out of her musings. ‘’Come here, you little money bag!’’
‘’W-wait, Master Roy!’’ Lili shouted, but the man was already dashing through the room. ‘That idiot, Papillos are fragile; if he breaks the stone, I won’t get to harvest all the wings!’
The monster, obviously, wasn’t dumb. The shouting and grinning madman running straight at it made it panic. Its wings batted swiftly as it tried to escape, and the man followed right after, forcing Lili to play catch-up with her much shorter stature and stride.
‘Damn it, I knew it, he’s an idiot through and through!’ Lili scowled, pushing herself the extra mile, because being left behind was worse, as she wouldn’t have an Adventurer-shaped shield if things went wrong. ‘’Master Roy… Lili can’t run as fast…!’’
‘’Just around the corner, this is a dead end, I can tell!’’ He shouted, laughing all the while, like this chase was some sort of game. ‘’I can already hear the money bags clinking when I make them into happy candies~!’’
‘D-Drugs…? Don’t tell me this is one of the junkies that crawl around the Red Light District… I knew ten thousand valis was too good to be true—’
Lili froze because, as per the man’s words, there was indeed a dead end that forced the Blue Papillo to face them directly.
The only problem was that Lili also recognized the room. A glowing, green quartz rested in the middle of it, secreting a sickeningly sweet-smelling substance that made her blanch.
Because feeding on that sap were dozens upon dozens of Monsters. Most of them were War Shadows, with a few Killer Ants, and most worrisome of all, four Purple Moths that flew above the room… while the Blue Papillo hid in a corner.
And all of the Monsters stopped eating at once, turning to them with hateful, glowing red eyes, the chittering of mandibles, and deep growls of anger.
‘It led us to a Pantry!’ Lili felt herself pale while turning to Roy. ‘’Master Roy, we have to run, I have some smoke bombs to—‘’
‘’Why?’’ He frowned, looking at her like she was a weirdo. ‘’If it’s only this lot, I’ll take them on. Just shoot the ones I take down. Only headshots ahead, Lili!’’
The Pallum stared in complete befuddlement as Roy Raynolds dashed forward. Against all logical sense, he reached the War Shadows first, punching one right in the face while the other monsters prepared to swarm him all at once.
Lili decided right then and there to use this opportunity to escape. After all, the monsters would be too busy eating his corpse to go after her.
‘’YOUR MOM IS SO FAT, SHE HAS TO TAKE TWO AIRPLANE SEATS!’’
That was until a blinding red glow filled the entire room. It made her freeze and clutch her crossbow with absolute fury for a few seconds… until she snapped out of it and looked upon the scene.
The first War Shadow had a knife through its throat, making it choke in its own foul, black tar-like blood. Yet, as an enraged and wild Ant tried taking its place, jumping at Roy to tear him apart with open pincers, the man clapped his hands, and suddenly, it wasn’t him getting torn apart, but one of the Purple Moths that was previously near the ceiling.
Before she could question where Roy had gone, he dropped from the roof and into another War Shadow’s back, who fruitlessly tried to throw him off while Roy choked the life out of it while cackling like a goblin.
‘A Magic Item and chantless magic?!’ Lili’s eyes widened in shock. ‘Just how… what kind of Level One has all that?! Was he lying to me? He…’
‘’Come on, Lili, take the shot!’’ Roy called out. The one-eyed monster was facing her directly while Roy merely laughed from the place on its back. ‘’Shoot the ugly fuck, it will be taking as much from the front as from the back—pause.’’
Lili was now torn, but decided to abandon her first option, taking out her crossbow and following the instructions. The bolt pierced right through the War Shadow’s crowned head, letting Roy move straight into the next enraged Monster inside the pantry.
‘Who the hell are you, Roy Raynolds?’ Lili questioned with a frown as the once hopeless situation flipped. Since the Monsters only focused on Roy, they were easy prey for her precise shots. ‘Haa… At least I know what I need to take.’
As she thought that, her eyes focused on the black cloak around the man’s shoulders. For a second, Lili caught a glimpse of some engravings glowing a bright white from the inside.
After all, that thing would be worth a fortune, and she needed to take it. Otherwise, the idiot might actually get smart and prevent her from running away with that strange red spell.
There really wasn’t a break day for poor, pitiable Lili.
-X-x-X-
-Roy Raynolds-
‘’I think that went really well.’’ I nod, arms crossed while watching the guild employee count or magic stones and drop items.
‘’Master Roy…’’ Lili looked the tiniest bit more ragged, with messy hair and blood-stained clothing after cutting so many carcasses. Her chestnut eyes stared at me with all the subtlety of a dagger to the neck. ‘’We had to use four antidotes because you kept inhaling the Moth’s Poison.’’
‘’I was just checking if it was a good ingredient for hallucinogens and recreational drugs.’’ I shrugged, scratching my nose, which still itched a bit. ‘’It certainly has a kick to it.’’
‘’And what about when you almost got us killed when you stomped on a Killer Ant’s legs?’’ She pointed out flatly.
‘’Bastard bit me in the ass!’’ I defended, pointing at my backside, where my pants now had a hole in them, and my left cheek had a faded scar from the Monster’s pincers.
‘’…You literally took a Frog Shooter by the skin on its back and made it charge at a pack of War Shadows while shouting ‘Goblin Mode’... whatever that is.’’
I pressed a hand to the girl’s lips, making her flinch and almost scowl. ‘’Do not reveal my shame, Lili. Using such a technique on low-fodder thrash… Do you know how difficult it is to get a working Goblin Mode Pass?’’
The petite girl just looked to the ground with a lost look, murmuring something about ‘stupid adventurers’.
Though in my opinion, that run was pretty fruitful. I felt genuinely slow when moving around, so much so that I needed my armor to tank a few grazing blows. Throwing myself at that pantry probably worked in my favor too.
…Though Lili does look a bit traumatized now.
‘Speaking of…’ My eyes side-glanced the Pallum girl from time to time as she paid attention to the guild worker in front of us. ‘She’s a cunning little one, ain’t she?’
During our few hours together, I noticed that Lili wasn’t all that sweet and thankful like she showed when I first contracted her. Pushing people’s buttons was my specialty, and if anything, she reminded me of a little thief. She hadn’t even brought up or split up what I stole from that dude hours prior, probably pocketing it for herself.
I didn’t quite ‘pity’ her—Pallums were the hobbit race, after all. For all I knew, Lili could be a forty-something street rat just using her appearances to trick people, but I did say the truth during the dungeon dive.
‘I respect the hustle. Bitches gotta eat, and I’m no one to say the wrong or right way to do it.’
…If she stole from me, however, I was punting her ass into a wall.
Fair is fair, after all.
‘’Two dozen War Shadows’ magic stones… seven Frog Shooters, four Purple Moths, a dozen Killer Ants, and one Blue Papillo, right?’’ The man in front of us asked, tired brown eyes looking over the single War Shadow nail and two Blue Papillo wings. ‘’With these drop items… Ninety thousand valis in total. Astounding work.’’
I put my hand on top of Lili’s head, drawing an undignified squeak out of her. Looking at the Guild Employee straight in the eye, I grinned. ‘’Ninety thousand is just swell. Thank you, Gary.’’
‘’…My name’s Rory.’’ The man sighed, placing a hefty bag of coins on the counter.
‘’Yeah, like I said, Gary.’’ I nodded.
I waved the man off while pushing Lili along after taking the money. No matter how good her act was, she couldn’t hide the disdain and suspicion on her face as we exited the Guild.
‘’My bad there. I just have some… under-the-table agreements with a Familia.’’ I explained once we were out of earshot.
Not entirely a lie either. The Blue Papillo wings were for that dog-girl from Miach’s pharmacy, but the War Shadow nails and some of the stones, I saved for the three hungry fat-asses I had at home.
And I had the perfect excuse.
‘’I want to avoid the formal quest the Guild puts out. I get slightly less money, but some useful teaching on the side, you catch my drift?’’
Lili blinked. Her shoulders sagged in relief a moment later. Her stare did a complete one-eighty as she put up a smile and clapped her gloved hands.
‘’Of course… Master Roy is pretty smart. The Guild’s fees do take away part of the profit, after all.’’ She praised.
‘’Now you’re speaking my language, Lil Lili.’’ I resisted the urge to snort as the girl’s smile became strained. ‘’I think we are going to get along just fine. Here, your part.’’
Quickly enough, I counted the valis in my bag, not trusting an overworked employee to not mess it up, and divided the profit.
Lili quickly snatched the bag with a radiant smile. Yet, that same smile vanished as she searched the bag, replaced by one of absolute befuddlement and open-mouthed shock as she kept counting.
‘’U-um… Master Roy?’’ The girl tired. ‘’There’s thirty-five thousand valis here.’’
‘’Yeah?’’ I frowned and started counting on my fingers. ‘’The bolts that broke against monster bodies, and the maintenance for the crossbow. That dagger you’ll have to re-sharpen yourself or pay someone to do it. Not to mention cleaning those clothes of yours—My personal opinion? Just burn them and buy new ones.’’
As I listed off, Lili’s eyes widened in surprise, and her mouth started opening and closing like a fish’s.
‘’The rest is just a bonus for stroking my ego, really.’’ I admitted with an easy smile. ‘’But seriously, if I just paid you the ten thousand, you’ll probably make an actual profit of… what, five thousand valis?’’
‘’…More like three thousand.’’ The girl whispered before slapping her mouth closed.
‘’Exactly. Though damn, my math was off.’’ I huffed.
‘’Anyway, getting the people to carry your shit unhappy is the best way to fuck yourself over, and probably get stabbed and robbed—‘’ I didn’t miss how Lili went ramrod straight for a second there. ‘’—So this is me bribing you for more services. Call it investing in the shortstack market.’’
That brought her to a pause, nose scrunching up adorably. ‘’What’s a shortstack?’’
I subtly looked at the girl’s waist and covered chest. My gaze went unnoticed, as the girl was too distracted between clutching her earnings tight and trying not to bolt away.
‘’You’ll learn when you’re older.’’ I mocked, making Lili scowl. ‘’Anyway. Be seeing you around, Lili.’’
I waved the girl off while walking away. Lili remained in her spot before quickly scurrying off, probably to either spend or hide her earnings.
Idly, I noticed some stares following her form. Especially from a rust-haired chubby man with raccoon ears and a greedy glint in his eyes as he side-glanced the running Pallum while chatting up two other, lankier guys.
‘…It ain’t really my place to step in. Life’s tough, and you have to take it by the reins and make her your bitch.’ I decided with a shrug.
Though, for just a moment, the image of a smiling Bell came to the forefront of my mind. If it was the adorable bunny that noticed, she’d probably do something so sickeningly kind that it would be stepping right into dumb territory.
‘Haaa… damn that adorable bun.’ I cursed, scratching the back of my head. ‘Fine, maybe I’ll do something… if Lili asks me to. I ain’t no charity worker.’
With that in mind, I decided to grab something to eat. The sun was starting to set, and my last meal was breakfast, so maybe I’ll stop by the Hostess—
‘’Ah…’’ I patted down my belt, pulling out a small, coin-filled purse. ‘’I did kind of forget to give Syr her shit.’’
Here’s hoping the girl was smart and had some pre-made food at home or at least ingredients.
-X-x-X-
‘’That’s my whole paycheck you took! I have been starving, Roy!’’ The silver-haired waitress pouted, arms crossed below her bust.
She was, indeed, not smart enough.
‘’Who genuinely spends her entire paycheck without having leftover groceries? Unless Mama Mia is a slave-driver, you can’t convince me that you live check by check for shit.’’ I countered, leaning against the table. ‘’Like. Do you only wash your clothes after you’ve used them all and go the rest of the day commando, you perv?’’
The accusation made the greedy waitress sputter. I even heard someone choke down a laugh.
‘’T-that’s not the same thing!’’ Syr said.
‘’Course it is.’’ I scoffed. ‘’Am I right, or am I right, lads?’’
‘’You’re right, lad, meow.’’ The brown-haired catgirl said while passing by the table.
‘’Thank you, lad.’’ I saluted.
Syr looked in open-mouthed shock at her co-worker’s betrayal, and I took the opportunity to place the purse in her hands, closing her fist on it.
‘’There. Now you have your money, oh broke-ass waitress.’’ I smiled, patting her shoulder twice. ‘’So… do I get my free meal?’’
‘’Of course not!’’ Syr huffed. ‘’Hmph, I bet if Anya gave the assignment to the Little Storyteller, she would have gotten me my purse by the hour.’’
I blinked, tilting my head to the side. ‘’Who’s Anya?’’
The brown-haired cat girl passed by once more, with an empty tray and a flat expression. ‘’Hurtful, meow.’’
‘’Ah, right.’’ I pursed my lips. ‘’You’re still using that fake-ass cat tone, though, so…’’
‘’Fair, but it attracts custo-meow-rs, nya~’’ She grinned.
God, that was horrible.
Can’t argue against it, though. Half the time I heard Anya, she either gave me cuteness aggression or the urge to give ear scritches—Honestly, all cute girls with animal features do that.
‘’Never mind…’’ Syr sighed, storing away her purse before putting up that happy, deceitful smile once more. ‘’So?’’
‘’So?’’ I raised an eyebrow.
‘’Your order.’’ She pointed out. ‘’You wanted food?’’
‘’Shit, right.’’ I cleared my throat. ‘’I’ll get, uhh… the pasta and whatever’s the special today. Make that six orders to go.’’
Syr nodded, walking to the counter behind her and ringing a tiny bell resting on top of it. ‘’May! Six orders of pasta and the roasted mushroom and onion soup, please!’’
‘’Coming right up~!’’ A cheerful voice shouted from behind the kitchen’s doors.
‘’Anything else?’’ Syr asked.
‘’Eh… just a beer to kill time while the food gets done.’’ I shrugged.
The silver-haired girl nodded and hurried to the counter. Meanwhile, I took a seat and started thinking of dreadful things.
Like finances.
Seriously, at the rate I was ‘’taming’’ monsters, we’ll need to either move out or get a second house, and my wallet did not like either of those options.
‘Hm…?’ Something caught my interest from the corner of my eye while I mentally bitched about lost money. A pair of books rested on the counter. Neither of them had a title, and the covers were made of leather that looked a bit worn down. ‘’Did someone leave their diary here?’’
A cold mug was placed in front of me, and I took in the cold beverage eagerly. ‘’Interested in literature? You didn’t strike me as the type.’’ Syr commented.
‘’Nah, they just felt… weird, I guess.’’ I shrugged. For a second, the waitress’s expression stilled, but a blink later, and it was that easy-going smile. ‘…Instinct tells me I’m going to get tricked.’
‘’Well, some customer left them here last night. I think they’re some sort of stories? Just not my type of book.’’ She said, then struck her palm with a closed fist as if she just had a eureka moment. ‘’Oh, I know! Little Story-teller likes fantasy books, doesn’t she? I could let you borrow them, then~’’
‘’Ah yes, taking someone else’s shit, my favorite pastime,’’ I commented flatly, hiding a smirk behind the wooden mug. ‘’And I’m sure this ‘borrowing’ is from the bottom of your heart and not because you want us to come spend our entire day’s salary here.’’
‘’Hey, I can be kind-hearted too!’’ Syr pouted. This time, I didn’t resist the urge to pinch the cheeks of the little liar. ‘’Ow, owwww! What are you doing? Assault, it’s assauuuuuult! Ryu, save meeee!’’
The mentioned green-haired elf, who had just finished cleaning a nearby table, looked at the scene with a flat stare… then proceeded to take a few steps away to clean a different table.
Shit was so cold I almost got burned.
‘’How about we use our honest words?’’ I suggested, putting my empty mug down.
‘’But first release meeee…’’ She complained, and I conceded. Syr rubbed her slightly red cheek and frowned at me. ‘’You know, you’re not going to get a pretty girl to like you acting like that.’’
I palmed my chest and released a fake gasp of shock. ‘’How could I ever live, knowing a pretty waitress won’t like me? Oh, the horror, the horror, I say!’’
Yet, for some reason, my words brought a sly grin out of her instead of another pout.
‘’Whoever mentioned something about me?’’ Syr hummed, false wonder in her tone. I clicked my tongue, knowing I handed that one for free. ‘’But I’m reassured an Adventurer like Roy finds me pretty… It means you’ll come to eat many more times!’’
‘’Gold-digger behavior,’’ I scoffed.
‘’I’m not a gold-digger!’’ Syr protested, arms crossed.
‘’Are too.’’ I pushed.
‘’Are not!’’ She rebuked further.
‘’Are too.’’
‘’HeWhoTakesTheBooksSaysWhat?’’
‘’What?’’ I frowned, then froze. ‘’Fuck!’’
‘’Hehe, I win~!’’ Syr cheered, giving me a small wave as she went to attend another table. ‘’Tell the Little Storyteller it’s a thank you for that amusing night, fufu.’’
Defeated by the rules of the universe, I merely sighed. A few seconds later, six different, steaming bags of hot food were placed in front of me.
‘’Thank you for your purchase!’’ A cute, petite catgirl said with a bright smile. Her chef outfit, and especially her hat with cut-outs for her ears, made her look genuinely adorable. ‘’Hope to see you again.’’
‘’Yeah, yeah.’’ I pulled out my wallet, glaring between the books and the waitress all the while. ‘I’ll know what your plot is yet, Syr Flova… Mark my words!’
No, I was not sore because I lost to that stupid wording. This was clearly some sort of evil ploy to steal all our money from that waitress.
-X-x-X-
-Bell Cranel-
‘’Come on, birdie, work with me. This shit is basic math!’’ Midna huffed, arms crossed.
‘’Math is hard…’’ A tall and buxom woman with wings for arms merely tilted her head to the side. Her face held a cute little smile that didn’t fool anybody. ‘’Dodo doesn’t need math anyway, because Dodo knows everything!’’
‘’Everything except basic multiplication.’’ Midna poked holes in the overused phrase.
‘’Gah!’’ The woman recoiled as if struck, hiding away within her feathers. ‘’D-dodo knows math! It’s just… uhhh, Dodo saved it inside her second brain, hehe…’’
Midna’s lone eye lidded so far down that it looked like it may pierce through the girl’s feathery shield. ‘’…Nine times seven.’’
Dodo froze. ‘’It’s… um…’’
‘’Nine times seven, bitch, come on!’’ Midna pulled at her orange locks. ‘’It’s the same as seven times nine!’’
‘’…Twenty three?’’ Dodo replied sheepishly.
‘’…’’ Silence took over the room for a moment. ‘’I’m going to turn you into stuffed turkey and not in the kinky way.’’
‘’Bwahh…’’ Dodo looked on the verge of genuinely crying.
Meanwhile, Bell…
Bell was, surprisingly enough… angry.
Well, not angry, angry. She didn’t like feeling that way, and it usually didn’t end well for anyone involved… but she was at least a bit annoyed!
‘’Bun-bun, you’re going to stare a hole in the floor at this rate,’’ Midna commented from her place on the couch.
‘’…I know.’’ She sighed. ‘’I just… I just wish he told me stuff.’’
‘’Well, hoomie told me, so… silver linings?’’ The goblin tried, and Bell shot her a flat stare, making her recoil and go back to her stuff. ‘’A gal can catch a hint.’’
Why was she staring at an empty spot in the living room? Well, because that’s the place where their table used to be. Now empty space because someone decided to let a certain goblin put it—and two chairs!—inside his shadow… and then decided to go for a solo run in the Dungeon!
Getting the information from Midna was surprisingly easy, too. Bell just had to… kind of stare at her? She didn’t understand why that made the usually mischievous Goblin feel awkward, but if it worked, then it worked.
‘He’s still not back… Goddess is out, too…’ Worry clung to her chest, but she shook it away. ‘They’re fine, Bell. Roy won’t be reckless enough to go past the first few floors… right?’
Oh, who was she kidding? He totally would!
But before she could decide to grab her equipment and do an escapade to the Dungeon, the front door opened, slamming against the wall with a sound that made her ears flatten against her skull.
‘’HELLO, THE HOUSE!’’ A certain brown-haired man shouted with a smile. ‘’Guess what, ladies, I broke gender stereotypes today and decided to get you dinner!’’
The first one to shoot out of the couch was a floating Midna. ‘’Look at you go, hoomie… now gimme! Teaching this bird-brained idiot got me hungry as hell!’’
‘’Settle down, you hungry wench—Hey, you can’t just take two, dammit!’’ Roy protested, trying to push away his goblin lover. ‘’Sit your fatass down. I brought some magic stones from the Dungeon, too.’’
But Bell didn’t focus on the fighting lovers, or the moving shadow appearing behind Roy in the form of a tall, pale Label with blank eyes stealing away one of the food bags while he wasn’t looking.
Instead, her red eyes focused on the man himself. His clothing specifically looked the tiniest bit ragged, with a few blood stains here and there that, thankfully enough, her sense of smell told her it was monster blood and not the man’s.
…Her nose also told her he reeked of dried sweat and an aroma distinctly his, and that brought a strange heat down her core—No, bad Bell. You’re supposed to be angry and disappointed, not… that!
‘’Roy.’’ And so, her voice brought the room to a pause as her eyes settled on the man. Roy turned to her with a smile that immediately fell. ‘’Why didn’t you tell me you were going to the Dungeon?’’
‘’Bitch you ratted me out?’’ He shout-whispered to Midna, still making eye contact with her.
‘’Hoomie, do you not see that stare? She’s terrifying.’’ The goblin whispered back, hiding behind his back. ‘’Besides, you took the whole fricking table, dumbass.’’
‘’…Touche.’’
Did they not know she could hear them clearly? Or they did know and were hoping their usual theatrics would get them out of a scolding?
‘’Seriously, I am the Familia Captain, aren’t I? You guys need to tell me this stuff.’’ Bell crossed her arms, glaring at the two. ‘’Just because of… that, you shouldn’t just recklessly go on your own. I was worried sick and—What’s that?’’
Her rant was brought to a pause as Roy pulled something other than food out of his bags. A book, with a faded brown cover without a title, but surprisingly clean, white pages.
‘’…Book?’’ He said meekly. ‘’Story book from Syr. Book calm bnuy?’’
Her ears perked up at the words. Part of her anger was, much to her shame, suddenly dissipated at the thoughtful gesture from both the waitress and Roy.
With lips pursed and some hesitation, her hand stretched and grasped the thick book, feeling the cover between her digits.
‘’…This is not over.’’ She reminded him before that stupid smile could form on his face. ‘’I’m just… momentarily distracted.’’
‘’Sure, sure~’’ Roy chuckled, taking a seat beside her and presenting the only remaining bag of steaming hot food that smelled genuinely amazing. ‘’A meal while you read?’’
‘’Aw, but I wanted Master to feed Dodo, not bunny…’’ The brown-feathered girl complained with a pout while Midna tried to stuff her face with food to shut her up.
‘’I…’’ The thought of being fed like a babe, or as those couples did in the cafés, brought a strange warmth to her chest. ‘’I’d like that…’’
While Roy set down the food on the now-returned table, Bell decided to peek at the book’s index. It had been a while since she found any interesting fantasy stories, and this could be very fun.
The first paragraphs brought her confusion.
‘’There are two types of magic. The first is what certain races are born with. The second, called Falna, is granted by a deity’s blessing.’’
Hm, so it was going to be a story about magic? Bell liked these ones in particular, as often when she was little, her Grandpa used to tell her all about impressive heroes and their magic teachers.
‘’The latter is, in a sense, a form of self-expression.
‘’What are you interested in? What do you accept? What do you hate? Desire? Sorrow over? Worship? Or vow to?’’
‘Huh…? Why are… Why are my eyes feeling kind of heavy?’ Bell wondered as she went over the last line on the page.
‘’What do you truly long for?’’
Thud.
…
‘’Think this must be the first time I had seen a book knock someone out without the need to throw it at their face,’’ Roy commented with a frown.
‘’Why did she even pass out?’’ Midna frowned, floating to the table as Roy pulled the passed-out bun on the couch. ‘’Huh…? Hoomie, this book’s empty as shit.’’
‘’The fuck you mean empty?’’ Yet, when he was handed the book, it was indeed empty. Not a smudge of ink on it. Not a single word. ‘’…I knew that waitress was pulling the rug on me. What is this crap?’
‘’Master, Master!’’ It was that time that the self-proclaimed Dodo decided to interrupt. ‘’You should read the other one before the mean gobbo does!’’
‘’Who the hell are you calling mean? I had to walk you through multiples of freaking two for an hour!’’ Midna scowled, while the giant girl hid between her long wings. ‘’Oh, so now we hiding after talking shit? For a bird, you much more resemble a pussy!’’
‘’Bet.’’ Roy, for his part, merely grinned and took the other book. ‘’Let’s see…’’
And a few seconds later, another thud echoed in the room.
That’s when the front door opened, and a certain, tired-looking Goddess entered the house, taking off her sandals at the entrance and stopping while looking at the scene.
The scene of a living shadow in a corner, stuffing her face with noodles, while Midna tried in vain to shake the bunny-hume awake. Meanwhile, Dodo was pulling the sleeping Roy into her fluffy embrace with a beaming smile.
Hestia’s azure eyes focused on the goblin. ‘’What did you do this time?’’
‘’Nothing!’’ The floating creature threw her hands in the air. ‘’And why am I the first suspect?’’
‘’Why wouldn’t you be?’’ Hestia rebuked, making Midna click her mouth shut.
‘’Hehe… Dodo’s plan worked!’’ The bird claimed, drawing the attention of the two. ‘’Master read the second Grimoire after the bunny-lady read the first, so Dodo gets an excuse to cuddle Master without letting go, hue-hue-hue!’’
The silence was so thick for a moment that it could be slapped, and it would jiggle like jello.
‘’THEY READ WHAT?!’’ Until it wasn’t, thanks to a petite Goddess’s exclamation.
-X-x-X-.
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Author's Note:
Since Roy and Bell come as a package deal, I thought it was fair for both to get a Grimoire each. Does it make sense considering how rare they are? No? Yes? Maybe? Idk.
What will be interesting is how magic would manifest in both of them. From my understanding, your interpretation is magic is what ends up giving you a personalized spell from a Grimoire. Bell, in canon, was still an innocent lil cinnamon roll, so for him, it was all heroes and stuff.
This Bell is a bit different, as she is already ''corrupted'' with Roy's... Roydness.
As for Roy, oh boy. He comes from our world. Essentially, magic to him can go from bubbles to ''this is the mega-galaxy-destroyer deathbeam that will take 12 chapters to destroy the planet!'' So whatever he gets, it's bound to be skewed by his perspective as an outsider.
Anyway, enough theoretical mumbo-jumbo. Lili and Roy's interaction... I had a few ways to go about it, but as you may have seen, I ended up choosing extreme caution from Lili's part, and acceptance from Roy.
Lili knows Roy is an idiot and super weird, but he has expensive stuff on him and is ''seemingly'' a ''weak'' adventurer, so she'll stick along for a bit.
Roy knows Lili is a street rat and will probably try to rob him. He is unbothered by this fact. Better have a cute shortstack try her shot than some crackhead in Florida, kekw.
I also publish on other sites, if you wish to check them out:
FFN: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/15809388/HamsterX42
QQ: https://forum.questionablequesting.com/search/35199387/?c[users]=HamsterX42&o=date
Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HamsterX42