Qing Ci flipped off the bed like a leaping carp, tied up her hair in a few quick motions, and headed toward Qin Chengze’s Biluoxuan.
Outside the door, she could already hear the servants inside trying to persuade him.
“Young Master, please apply some medicine. If you leave this wound unattended, it could fester and become life-threatening.”
Qing Ci walked in and took the ointment from the servant’s hand. “Out. I’ll handle it.”
The servants were more than glad to have someone take over this task, freeing them from the blame of failing their duties. Besides, Qing Ci was the Young Master’s personal maidservant—applying his medicine was her job.
As they retreated, they lowered their voices to warn her.
“Be careful. The Young Master is in a foul mood.”
“I know.”
Qing Ci closed the door.
Qin Chengze sat on the wide Babuchuang bed, watching her through the pale blue bed curtains.
Qing Ci swept the curtains aside. His wound must have been on his back—nothing was visible from the front, only that his lips were slightly pale.
“Take it off yourself, then lie down.”
Qin Chengze didn’t move, still staring fixedly at her.
Qing Ci frowned. “It wouldn’t be proper for me to strip you myself. I don’t know my own strength—I might hurt you.”
Qin Chengze lowered his eyes, his hand slowly moving to his waist to undo his robes, his movements listless and weak.
“Hurry up. You’re acting like a concubine preparing for the emperor’s bed.”
Qin Chengze’s throat bobbed. “You’ve never seen a concubine prepare for the emperor’s bed.”
“It’s nothing but hesitation and coyness—exactly what you’re doing right now.”
Qing Ci should have felt sorry for him, but she couldn’t help letting out a laugh.
Qin Chengze’s expression stiffened, his hand freezing on his collar. “What are you laughing at?”
“Laughing at you for claiming you have some chronic illness. How foolish—aren’t you afraid people will mock you?”
Qing Ci reached over and peeled off his blood-stained white robe, tossing it to the floor.
Qin Chengze obediently lay down on his stomach, muttering under his breath, “What else was I supposed to do? I originally thought I could just marry her and ignore her. I hoped you would understand me. But when you stopped paying me any attention day after day, I knew—I couldn’t marry this Commandery Princess.”
Qing Ci understood perfectly well that even if he truly had a chronic illness, Nanjing Wang would never call off the marriage on the Commandery Princess’s behalf. This was a marriage of political alliance; neither Qin Chengze nor Commandery Princess Nanhua could resist it.
“You are the eldest son of Grand Preceptor Qin, the brother of the future Crown Princess. You were never destined to make your own choices.”
She looked at the vicious scars on his back. The Grand Preceptor had truly struck with full force.
Qin Chengze had been pampered his entire life—when had he ever endured such pain?
“How many people in this world envy my fortunate lot? My father is the foremost military commander, my sister is already the confirmed Crown Princess and future Empress. I should have wind when I want wind, rain when I want rain, enjoying all the splendor in the world—yet I cannot marry the woman I love.”
The medicinal powder stung fiercely on his wounds, and Qin Chengze couldn’t help but hiss through his teeth.
Qing Ci’s touch grew even gentler.
“I have always understood your helplessness. But I refuse to become a woman fighting for a man’s affection against rivals, and I cannot accept my beloved sharing a wedding night with someone else.”
Qin Chengze nodded. “I understand.”
“So let our memories forever remain a secret belonging only to the two of us.” Qing Ci paused, then said softly, “I will still be by your side, braving fire and water for you, protecting you for a lifetime without worry.”
She had been in the Taishifu since she was very young, training day after day on the mountain with Qing Wan and Qing Fu. She was the most outstanding one, always grasping things instantly—her brilliance made Qing Wan and Qing Fu seem dull by comparison.
Her master held her in especially high regard, sparing no effort in passing down everything he had learned in his lifetime.
But after all, she was just a girl. She had known fear of pain and resentment of hardship. When she killed for the first time, she had nightmares for months, and it was Qin Chengze who patiently stayed by her side, comforting her and coaxing her back to happiness.
As time passed, she found herself longing to see Qin Chengze, anticipating his arrival.
Qing Fu said she must have fallen in love with the Young Master. Perhaps that was it—this was love.
So she told Qin Chengze, I like you.
Young Master, I like you.
She was only thirteen then. Under the cool breeze of Qifeng Mountain, Qin Chengze’s eyes sparkled like stars.
Qing Ci, I like you too.
That was his answer.
Qin Chengze pushed himself up with his arms and grasped her hand. “I don’t want you behind me. I want you by my side.”
Qing Ci shook her head. That was nearly impossible.
She had been young then and understood nothing, but slowly she came to understand—what it meant to be born noble, what it meant to be worlds apart, what it meant to be swept along by the tide of circumstance.
“I won’t leave you. You can always find me. But Chengze, don’t forget who you are. Don’t defy the Grand Preceptor. This is your fate.”
The corners of Qin Chengze’s eyes reddened slightly, the deep pool of his gaze speaking of endless helplessness.
Qing Ci pressed him back down to lie flat and continued applying the medicine.
“The Grand Preceptor has already reached the pinnacle of officialdom. Why does he still seek a marriage alliance with Nanjing Wang? That Nanjing Wang once contended with the Emperor for the position of Heir Apparent. Though he lost and was enfeoffed to the southern border, the wealth and military strength of the southern territories remain a thorn in the Emperor’s side.”
Qin Chengze pressed his lips together tightly and said nothing.
Qing Ci added, “The Taishifu and the Crown Prince are as closely linked as branches of the same tree. Wouldn’t forming such a marriage alliance truly risk the Crown Prince being suspected by the Emperor of harboring ambitions?”
Qin Chengze let out a low chuckle. “So what if he’s suspected? The southern border has been well-behaved for years, and the Crown Prince has won the hearts of the people and the support of the court officials. The Emperor can’t depose him without solid evidence.”
Qing Ci paused in her work, a slight frown creasing her brow.
“Have you forgotten how the General of the Guards was wiped out? Whatever tricks you know, the Emperor knows them too.”
The General of the Guards had held differing political views from the Grand Preceptor and shared part of the military command. Grand Preceptor Qin had ordered Qing Ci to plant incriminating evidence in the General’s residence, then exposed traces of his alleged contact with enemy nations, leading to the confiscation of his property and the extermination of his family.
Such affairs were hardly uncommon in officialdom.
Qin Chengze said, “The Emperor and the Crown Prince are father and son after all—severed bones still connected by sinews. As long as he doesn’t truly rebel, the Emperor won’t do anything to him. This realm is destined to pass to the Crown Prince anyway.”
Qing Ci was left speechless.
If she said more, Qin Chengze might think she was jealous of Commandery Princess Nanhua and couldn’t bear to see him marry.
But there could only be one sun in the sky, and the Emperor was still in the prime of his life. Now that the court had reached a state where the Crown Prince’s word was law, how could the Emperor tolerate such a Crown Prince and such a Taishifu?
She understood all the reasoning, but it was no match for the word “ambition.”
“A Ci, stay by my side.”
Qing Ci nodded. She had never thought of leaving Qin Chengze. She would serve him loyally for life, protect him—but she would never again regard him as her beloved.
He did not belong to her.
Seeing her nod, Qin Chengze’s eyes finally held a smile. He grabbed her hand, stained with medicine, and pressed it against his bare chest.
“Can you feel it? It beats only for you.”
Qing Ci tilted her head in confusion.
Don’t all human hearts beat this way?