Part 4.
Laurel Manor
“The High Priest took Lina with him?”
“That is correct.”
“When?”
“Just moments ago.”
Lennon had come into my chambers early the next morning with the unexpected news.
With my face a mask of sleep and confusion, I stared at my bedside clock before looking back at Lennon, my face a mask of sleep and confusion.
It was seven o’clock.
Sunlight streamed through gaps in the curtains.
It was far too early to get up, let alone to face such an upheaval in castle dynamics.
Perhaps I was still asleep?
Dreaming it all?
Grand balls often stretched into the wee hours of the morning, and so it was not uncommon for the nobility to sleep past noon the following day.
Although I had left the party early, I stayed up until the festivities officially ended at three in the morning.
Then, before bed, I had to make sure the decorations were cleared away and the grand hall returned to its usual state.
There is nothing more disheartening than walking through the remnants of a party that has recently ended.
But I could not linger with such thoughts.
I had to immediately prepare the castle for the reception of the High Priest.
Since I had basically hijacked the first marriage of one of the most remarkable men in the empire, at the very least I thought I should try to be an ideal hostess.
Thankfully, I had made preparations in advance, so the swapping of decorations only took about an hour.
I had even decided to pay the servants extra for their long hours.
I couldn’t just have them work through the night without compensating them, even if that’s the way things are generally done.
I personally supervised and inspected all their work, so I didn’t get to sleep until dawn.
Nevertheless, I had instructed my maid that she must wake me early.
When my maid woke me at the appropriate time which was, as I said, necessary but far too early, she informed me that the chief aide was waiting outside.
I sleepily wondered if there had been a change regarding the High Priest’s visit.
I asked the maid to show Lennon in, and he strode in announcing,
“The Lady Saint and the High Priest have departed.”
“What…?”
In a flash, I saw all the elegant dishes and teacups that the servants had polished for the High Priest’s reception… but that was not the most important thing.
“But you said the High Priest Amos was coming here.”
“Yes.”
How strange.
Among the nine high priests, Amos was the only one who attended to his duties outside the confines of the High Church.
This meant that, compared to the others, he was better acquainted with Seria Sterne, who rarely visited the High Church.
Seria had always done her best to be well-behaved when it came to the High Church, as it served as the base of her divine power.
In order to avoid any unfortunate mishaps, it was simply better for her not to go there at all.
It could be expected that Amos would come to see Seria, at least to check in.
I couldn’t fathom why he had left with Lina as soon as he’d arrived.
“The High Priest Amos arrived at the castle half an hour ago.
He shared a brief cup of tea with His Grace and then immediately departed with the Lady Saint.
He did not even bother to eat, let alone have a proper cup of tea.”
“Did Lina go with him willingly?” I asked, genuinely curious.
“Well…” It was the first time Lennon hesitated in speaking with me.
“When the High Priest arrived… he was quite angry…”
“Excuse me?”
The High Priest was angry?
Amos, as far as I could tell from Seria’s memories, was not the type of person who easily lost his temper.
During Seria’s rebellious phase, he had dealt with her sternly, as the rules of the High Church held fit.
He was not particularly kind or warm, nor was he prone to fits of outrage.
Of course, Seria had not spent that much time with him, so she wouldn’t know too much about his emotional landscape.
“The Lady Saint resisted at first,” Lennon went on.
“But after the High Priest showed his displeasure and spoke privately with her… well, it ended with her sobbing as she stepped into his carriage.
They left at once.
By the way, I thought I should tell you that the Lady Saint’s inexplicable fit completely subsided by dawn.”
But the High Priest certainly could be strict and intimidating.
Amos was akin to a stodgy old professor.
Stern, serious, and unforgiving.
So it was understandable that Lina might wind up sobbing after a private scolding from him.
Lennon also related that the priestesses Callis had summoned to look after me had left as well, which I had expected anyway.
With the Sterne wedding concluded and my illness getting better, the priestesses had no reason to stay.
I’ll have to write to the head priestess later.
But I need to find out why they also left without a word of farewell.
Lennon was still standing there.
There seemed to be something else…
“Did you come into my bedroom this early just to tell me that?” I said.
Lennon cleared his throat and averted his eyes.
He had only looked directly at me a couple of times since he’d come in.
His early arrival had found me sitting up in bed wearing only my nightgown.
Well, it was called a nightgown, but it wasn’t much different from a chemise.
It had long sleeves and reached well below my knees.
Amongst close acquaintances it really shouldn’t be a big deal.
“Well… um…”
“What is it?”
Lennon almost never hesitated, but this was his second time in one morning.
I knew something was wrong.
I kept trying to get it out of him, and all he could do was clear his throat and delay.
There was a knock at the door and it immediately swung open.
It was Callis.
My flustered maid was trailing behind him.
He strode over and stood at the foot of the bed.
“Seria, grant me a moment before I depart.
It is important.” Callis was being assertive, clearly intent on saying his piece.
Yet I detected the slightest apprehension, as if he expected me to refuse his request.
Just a talk.
Fine.
I had something to return to Callis anyway.
“Excuse me, Lord Hanneton,” Lennon said, “But am I invisible to you?”
At Lennon’s jest, Callis finally glanced back at him.
“Please leave us for a moment,” Callis said.
“I apologize, my lord, but I am here on His Grace’s orders.”
“And did His Grace order you to chase all the guests from this annex?” Callis challenged.
“Of course not.
In fact, he asked me to attend to your every need.
But he also said that if anyone bothers Lady Seria, I am to drive them away on his behalf.”
So that was it.
I finally understood why Lennon had come to my chambers so early in the morning.
Only someone like the archduke’s chief aide could possibly succeed in driving away a noble of such high ranking as the Marquis of Hanneton.
But how could the Archduke of Berk keep assigning his chief aide to look after me?
Lennon had loads of responsibilities.
Without Lennon’s assistance, wouldn’t Rouche himself have to take on more work?
I dismissed my maid with a wave.
She quickly bowed and exited the room.
“Stay where you are, then,” Callis said to Lennon.
“Do as you like.” He was less energetic than usual.
He rubbed a hand over his face, weary from this standoff with Lennon.
Regardless of Lennon’s presence, Callis strode toward me.
I was still in bed and I didn’t bother getting up for him.
As he looked down at me, the dark circles under his eyes were obvious.
He looked like he’d hardly slept a wink.
“Seria.” Addressing me familiarly, by name, Callis Hanneton knelt before me.
My eyes widened involuntarily as I waited.
“I came to tell you I am sorry.
I know an apology cannot possibly account for all the harm inflicted upon you, because of me… but would you consider giving me another chance?”
I stared at him for a moment, letting his apology sink in.
“And what would be different if we were to marry?” I asked steadily.
“Are you confident, Callis Hanneton, that you would not run to Lina’s side if she called for you?”
“I am.
I…”
“No, Callis.
You would.
You would run back to her at a moment’s notice.”
Though I spoke firmly, those words hurt me, too.
I did not want to inflict pain on myself, but I had been mulling over these words the night before during the party, as I gazed at the sparkling crystal chandelier.
These words had to be said.
“Do you remember what you asked me last night?
You asked if I had pushed Lina over the edge.
Even the servant never doubted me.
But you did.
That made me finally understand.
I have wronged you, many times.
And my infamous reputation, all my evil deeds, they follow me.”
It made sense.
Callis had almost lost an arm because of Seria.
Seria was an absolute villain in the original storyline, that was irrefutable.
Now that I had taken over Seria’s body, I felt wronged because it wasn’t me who had done those horrible things.
But nobody else knew that.
So, in the end, what could I do?
Like it or not, I was Seria Sterne.
By flipping the outcome of the story’s ending, I wanted to survive by any means necessary.
I had figured that the only way to do so was to bear the consequences of Seria’s misdeeds.
Yeah, sure, but what about my feelings?
Whenever I saw Callis being overtly kind to Lina, I just assumed there was nothing I could do.
He was a main character, so being attracted to the original female lead was natural, perhaps inevitable.
Still, I trusted him, believing that in this world he truly loved me, as he claimed.
But belief is not always enough.
How could I ignore everything happening around me?
I couldn’t, but I forced myself to simply swallow all the pitiful feelings I felt, just so I could avoid a miserable death.
Knowing that I was in an impossible and unfair situation, how long would I keep trying to convince myself of these things?
How long until I simply have no choice but to accept that there is nothing I can do to alter the path of the storyline?
How long?
How long will it be before I give in?
“Callis, you… you hurt me so much.
I can’t live with that constant anxiety anymore.
I don’t want to wake up every day worried that you might go back to Lina…” Tears began to drip onto the blanket.
I wiped my damp cheeks, and said, “Callis, we have to end this now.”
Just then, the maid I had sent out earlier knocked and entered.
She was holding a ring box.
Sensing the heavy atmosphere, she quickly handed me the box and left again.
“Callis.” I held the box out to Callis.
It was the ring of the Marquise of Hanneton.
The token of engagement I had received from Callis.
“I’m returning this to you.
Take it.”
Callis stared at the ring box for a moment before reaching for it.
But as soon as his fingers touched it, he grabbed my hand.
“Seria.” Callis’s eyes seemed to cloud over, as though filled with unshed tears.
Seeing him that way, I had a sudden realization.
Since reincarnating into Seria, I had become adept at reading other people’s expressions, especially after a long period of observation.
Callis’s expressions always confirmed what he claimed, that he loved me.
Yet, it had been so easy for him to break our engagement.
What I realized was that even if one can expertly read another person’s expressions, one can never see into the depths of another’s heart.
Callis had gone silent.
A myriad of emotions flitted across his face, which made it difficult to read at the moment.
I just stared at him in silence.
Then he squeezed my hand tightly, as though he’d just come to a decision, before gradually loosening his grip and letting go.