JAY POV The first morning of the trip started way too early.
I was standing outside the hotel with everyone else, still half asleep, while the teachers were explaining what we were going to do.
“Hiking,” one of them said.
I looked at Kiefer.
He was smiling.
“Don’t tell me you’re excited about this.” he said “I am.” i said “Of course you are.” he said He laughed.
I looked down at my shoes and realized one of my laces had come loose.
I bent down to tie it, but before I could, Kiefer crouched in front of me.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Your shoelace is untied.” he said “I can do it.” i said “I know.” he said He started tying it anyway.
I just stared at him.
“Kiefer.” i said “What?” he said “I can tie my own shoes.” i said He looked up at me and smiled.
“I know.
Let me.” he said I couldn’t help smiling.
He finished tying it and stood up.
“Now you won’t trip.” he said “I wasn’t going to trip.” i said “Sure.” he said I pushed his shoulder lightly.
We started walking with everyone else.
The hiking trail was beautiful.
There were trees everywhere, mountains in the distance, and a cool breeze that actually made me glad we’d come.
I was carrying my bag and jacket, but after a while, Kiefer took both from me.
“Give me that.” he said “I can carry it.” i said “I know.” he said He took the bag anyway.
“And your jacket.” he said I laughed.
“Why are you carrying everything?” i said “Because I want to.” he said “You know you’re making me feel useless, right?” i said He laughed.
“Then you can carry me.” he said I stared at him.
“Absolutely not.” i said He laughed again.
I couldn’t stop smiling.
The whole morning was like that.
Every time I got tired, he noticed.
Every time I stopped to fix something, he waited.
He kept checking if I was okay without making a big deal about it.
At one point, I slipped slightly on some loose rocks.
His hand immediately caught mine.
“You okay?” I nodded.
“Yeah.” He didn’t let go immediately.
He just looked at me for a second.
“You scared me.” I smiled.
“I’m fine.” He squeezed my hand.
“Good.” We kept walking.
And honestly, I couldn’t imagine spending the trip with anyone else.
LILY POV I saw everything.
I tried not to.
But I did.
I watched Kiefer tie Jay’s shoelace.
I watched him carry her bag.
Then her jacket.
I watched the way he kept checking on her while we walked.
Every little thing.
It shouldn’t have bothered me this much.
It was just a shoelace.
Just a bag.
Just a jacket.
But when it was Kiefer doing it for Jay, every small thing felt bigger.
I looked away.
Ella was walking beside me, talking about something, but I barely heard her.
My eyes kept going back to them.
Kiefer was walking beside Jay now.
Their hands brushed.
He smiled at her.
She smiled back.
I looked down at the ground.
Why did it hurt this much?
I knew he loved her.
I knew they were together.
I knew I had no right to feel jealous.
But knowing that didn’t make the feeling disappear.
I tightened my grip around my own bag.
I tried to focus on the hiking trail.
The trees.
The mountains.
The people around me.
Anything except them.
But then I heard Jay laugh.
I looked up without thinking.
Kiefer was smiling at her again.
And that familiar feeling came back.
That horrible feeling in my chest.
I wanted to be the person he worried about.
I wanted him to carry my bag.
I wanted him to look at me the way he looked at her.
I wanted all of it.
And I hated myself for wanting it.
I looked away again.
Maybe I should just enjoy the trip.
Maybe I should stop watching them.
Maybe I should let this go.