the lower half of Gojo: If neither side’s condition deteriorates, who wins?]
Kaito couldn’t help but laugh when he came across this thread while mindlessly scrolling through the forum.
He couldn’t believe people were actually powerscaling two literal lumps of dying meat.
The Jujutsu Kaisen fandom truly had an infinite capacity for brain rot.
Logically, this was just a troll post, and he should laugh and scroll past it.
But Kaito couldn’t resist dropping a comment:
“Suku-Blob definitely wins!”
To his surprise, someone immediately fired back: “Uraume has blinded you. Half Gojo stomps Suku-Blob flat with one foot.”
Kaito sat up straight.
Sure, he could ignore it and keep scrolling to pass the time.
But that was a loser’s mentality!
If a war was declared, he had to fight!
“First of all, I’m just looking at the facts,” he quickly typed in his reply.
“Second, Miwa has blinded you. Even though Sukuna has been reduced to a pathetic blob, he still has some cursed energy left. The lower half of Gojo doesn’t have his cursed energy core anymore. Cursed energy versus zero cursed energy—how can you not see who has the advantage?”
The other guy seemed to be monitoring the thread, firing back a new reply instantly.
“Does Suku-Blob’s meager cursed energy even compare to Flyhead’s? Could he block a stomp from Gojo’s lower half? He’d be flattened into a Suku-pancake!”
“The regurgitated Suku-Blob counts as a cursed object,” Kaito scoffed, typing quickly.
“How is the Lower Half of Gojo supposed to exorcise a curse without any cursed energy? You don’t understand the basic power system, yet you’re trying to argue? THAT’S HILARIOUS.”
The other person went quiet.
After a long pause with no reply, Kaito figured he’d won.
Just as he was about to declare his absolute victory, his opponent launched a stubborn counterattack.
“Why are you assuming the lower half of Gojo has no cursed energy? Just because his core was destroyed doesn’t mean his legs don’t have any residual cursed energy. Even a tiny amount is enough to stomp the Suku-Blob to death!”
To be fair, it was a good point.
But the debate had started, and Kaito wasn’t about to give up.
“Then why are you assuming a headless Gojo can see the Suku-Blob to aim a stomp?”
Opponent: “Cursed Energy Sensing!”
Kaito asked, “How is he sensing anything without a brain? How is he processing the information? With Little Gojo?”
Opponent: “Even if the lower half of Gojo can’t see, he can just stomp around blindly until he flattens him.”
Kaito: “Suku-Blob looks like a slime, and he still has one eye left. He can just squirm on the ground and dodge!”
Opponent: “Then tell me how exactly Suku-Blob defeats the Lower Half of Gojo. He’s tiny. Even if he can use his cursed technique, could he cut through Gojo’s leg hair?”
“Finally took the bait,” Kaito thought, grinning as his plan came together.
Everything else was set.
Now, he just had to prove that Suku-Blob could definitely win, and victory would be his.
“He just has to wait him out,” Kaito typed, delivering what he considered his final argument.
“Suku-Blob only needs to wriggle around enough to dodge. Once the lower half of Gojo gets tired, Suku-Blob will crawl up his leg, launch a surprise attack through the back door, and incarnate directly inside him!”
Then came the follow-up.
“What if my Suku-Blob turns into the lower half of Gojo’s shirikodama? Do you think he can pull that out with his toes?”
Finally came the killing blow.
“If you refuse to enter the Gojo hole, how will you obtain the Gojo legs?”
Flawless logic.
A true one-hit knockout.
The other guy stopped replying.
That settled it.
This legendary debate was destined to go down in forum history, and Suku-Blob had emerged as the undisputed victor.
“The sweet taste of victory is like fine wine. Time to celebrate with a cold one!” Kaito cheered, happily chugging a bottle of ice-cold Coke.
“Burp~”
Letting out a satisfied belch, Kaito got ready to find another thread to pass the time.
Suddenly, a blaring truck horn echoed from outside his window.
HOOOONK—
‘Living next to the elevated highway is too damn loud,’ Kaito frowned, getting up to close the window while making a mental note to move out soon.
Wait, wasn’t this area supposed to be restricted from heavy truck traffic?
He barely had time to think before a huge hole burst open in the highway guardrail outside.
Something flew through the air in a wild arc, heading straight for Kaito’s floor.
The King of Trucks was coming, looking furious and terrifying.
“Truck-kun??”
The fight was over the moment the outer wall broke.
“HAHAHAHA! WHERE ARE THE PEOPLE? WHERE ARE THE WOMEN?” Sukuna roared, losing his mind under the moonlight after a thousand years behind bars.
And just to be clear, he was looking for women to EAT.
Like, full Hannibal Lecter style.
Nearby, a blood-soaked boy stood unsteadily on his feet.
It was the Grade 2 Jujutsu Sorcerer who had nearly been exorcised by a Grade 2 Cursed Spirit—the poster boy for stress himself, Megumi Fushiguro.
‘Damn it!
This is the worst-case scenario!’ Megumi thought, cold sweat mixing with the blood running down his forehead.
The Special Grade Cursed Object had fully appeared.
With his injuries, there was no way he could win.
He had to use ‘that’ technique.
Megumi clenched both hands into fists…
Splat—
A soft, sticky lump suddenly appeared out of nowhere and hit the concrete.
Megumi stared at the fleshy, slime-like blob in total confusion.
‘Another enemy!?’
Sukuna ignored Megumi, who was standing right there, because he was too busy with his own wild ranting.
But now, he sensed something.
He turned and frowned at the pile of meat on the ground.
“Hss… Ugh. I’m not dead?” Kaito muttered, his consciousness slowly returning.
So the rumors about average people taking down bodybuilders in one hit were true.
He hadn’t even gotten angry yet and had survived a direct hit from Truck-kun.
He just didn’t know how badly he was hurt.
He figured he was missing at least an arm or a leg.
Kaito tried to move his body.
The lump of meat on the ground squirmed.
“!!” Kaito froze.
Why couldn’t he feel his arms or legs?
Had that truck really turned him into a human nugget?
He didn’t want to believe it, so he told himself that his body was just numb for the time being.
He kept struggling, squirming on the pavement.
Sukuna and Megumi—one frowning and the other with fists raised—stood in complete silence, watching this bizarre piece of meat wriggle and roll on the ground.
Several seconds passed.
Finally, Kaito managed to flip over, exposing a single eye and a mouth.
“Hah… whew—” Kaito let out a long breath.
“Oh? The moon is out. What a nice night… Wait?” He had been hit by a truck in his apartment that morning.
Why was he outside at night?
Kaito realized that something was really wrong.
Had he been thrown out of his apartment and left outside all day?
That couldn’t be.
Which meant…
In dead silence, Kaito shifted his body again.
That was when he noticed the two figures standing on either side of him, staring intently.
On his left: shirtless, tattooed, pink hair, four eyes.
On his right: sea-urchin hair, clenched fists, covered in blood, suicidal tendencies.
Kaito recognized them right away: Sukuna and Megumi Fushiguro.
Had he been Isekai’d?
And why did they look so tall?
Kaito looked down at himself and felt his soul sink.
He had become the Suku-Blob!!!
The exact same pathetic, ugly, near-death form of the strongest King of Curses in history—the one he had just been arguing about online, the one turned into countless memes…
‘Are you kidding me??
If I’m gonna get Isekai’d, at least give me a decent body!’
Sukuna narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing the lump of meat that was radiating a cursed energy signature identical to his own.
‘Such a ridiculous form, yet that is undoubtedly my cursed energy…’ Sukuna thought.
‘Was there a flaw when my fingers were turned into cursed objects?
Or did some other accident occur over the centuries?
It even seems to have developed a consciousness.’
‘Tch.
What the hell has Kenjaku been doing?’
“Whatever. I’ll just absorb it,” Sukuna scowled.
Obviously, he would take back whatever power belonged to him.
Still ignoring Megumi, he stepped toward Kaito.
Kaito figured out what Sukuna was planning almost instantly.
Fight back?
Sure, his mind seemed to be flooded with various techniques, combat experience, the Shrine innate technique, and even a strange new technique.
But come on, he’d just make Sukuna laugh.
Suku-Blob fighting full Sukuna??
Let’s be real!
There was only one way out of this!
Kaito spent another 0.001 seconds finalizing his plan.
He took a deep breath and screamed at the absolute top of his lungs:
“EMPEROR ITADORI, WAKE UP! COME GET YOUR PET SUKUNA ON A LEASH!!!”