Long Chapter!
Kirara Hoshi.
A third-year student at Jujutsu High.
Beautiful, but a guy.
Fashionable and sexy, but a guy.
Speaks with an adorable, cutesy tone, but a guy.
Dating Kinji Hakari from the same year, but a guy.
Kirara’s innate technique was [Love Rendezvous].
Explaining how this technique works is complicated…
Really complicated!!
But right now, the only thing that mattered was that this technique could leave behind specific markings.
Objects with the same marking would be pulled together by a powerful force.
The attraction was so strong it could even lift a car into the air.
It was the perfect tool for keeping Fraud Shikigami together.
The only question was, what exactly would Kirara’s Fraud Form be?
Kaito started to imagine all sorts of wild possibilities.
‘AIDS…?’
‘No, no, no, that doesn’t just magically spawn out of nowhere.
I can’t just assume someone has AIDS just because they have a boyfriend!’
‘Kirara and Hakari clearly have a pure, loving relationship.
There’s no way they’d catch something like…’
‘Wait a minute.’
‘Is Hakari really that pure?’
Kaito couldn’t help remembering Hakari’s history in the original manga.
He was in a same-sex relationship with Kirara.
He had an insanely intense, almost intimate deathmatch with Hajime Kashimo.
And when he fought Uraume—Sukuna’s personal cross-dressing chef—he literally stripped them down to nothing but a tube top by the end of it!
Sukuna: ‘I’ve been cucked!
I’ve been cucked!!’
Out of the three most feminine, pretty-boy characters in all of Jujutsu Kaisen, every single one of them had some sort of ambiguous, questionable entanglement with Kinji Hakari…
Was Hakari really a good boy?
Kaito was still very skeptical.
‘Whatever, it doesn’t matter.
I just need their Fraud Shikigami.’
He had a solid plan now, but he couldn’t put it into action just yet.
Feeling bored, Kaito looked over at Megumi, wondering if he could get a bit more entertainment from him.
“What do you want now?” Megumi asked, instantly on high alert.
“Nothing much, I was just thinking…” Kaito pondered for a moment.
“Summon your two big dogs so I can take a look.”
“Big dogs?” Megumi narrowed his eyes.
‘Does he mean the Divine Dogs?’
‘He can pilot my Shikigami clone to activate the Ten Shadows, so he could just summon them himself.
Why is he specifically asking me to summon them?’
Given this guy’s track record so far…
“You aren’t planning to make my Divine Dogs mate with your Divine Dogs, are you?!?” Megumi stumbled back in horror.
“Huh??” Kaito was genuinely stunned for a second.
But right after, his one eye lit up with pleasant surprise.
“Do they actually have that function?!”
‘CRAP!
I just gave this guy a new idea!’ Megumi panicked.
“Of course they don’t! I just suspected that’s something you would try to do,” Megumi denied instantly.
“Oh, is that so,” Kaito sighed in disappointment.
“Actually, I just wanted to see if I could summon the Fraud Forms of Shikigami.”
“In the future, someone else inherits the Ten Shadows Technique, but she’s always been super wary of me and refuses to let me try.”
Even now, Kaito didn’t forget to patch up the lore of his fabricated future.
It really was a shame he wasn’t born a professional scammer.
“Is that true?” Megumi was still highly suspicious.
“I guess letting you try is fine, but don’t do anything weird!”
Megumi was very protective of his animal friends.
Kaito naturally agreed.
Outside the dormitory.
“The anomaly and the vessel are both in there,” Jogo sneered as he peered through the window from a distance, showing a grin full of blackened teeth.
‘Two birds with one stone!’
He prepared to launch an immediate assault, but Hanami reached out and stopped him.
“Do not forget what Geto said,” Hanami warned.
“We must exercise absolute caution regarding the anomaly.”
Jogo stopped.
He didn’t fully trust Geto, but he respected his intelligence and skills.
“Did you notice something wrong?” Jogo asked.
Hanami: “Do you not see two vessels in there?”
Both of them had been focused on Kaito and Yuji.
Only Dagon, who just wanted to eat as many sorcerers as possible, had looked over at Megumi and the [Fraud Megumi] Shikigami under Kaito.
“Puu~”
“Hmm? You’re saying the sorcerer next to them is acting strange?”
Jogo and Hanami looked over.
After a few moments, they noticed the problem too.
The black-haired sorcerer kept tapping on his phone.
Even when he put it down for a moment to make a hand sign and summon two canine Shikigami, he picked it up again right away and kept tapping.
He wasn’t staring at the screen—he only glanced at it occasionally.
He wasn’t texting someone.
It looked like he was continuously sending out some sort of signal…
“I understand,” Hanami deduced.
“It’s a dead-man’s switch. If they are attacked, he doesn’t need to send a distress signal—he simply stops sending the continuous signal. They even factored in the possibility of a ‘Curtain’ blocking communications.”
Jogo understood right away.
Dagon gurgled happily, impressed by Hanami’s cleverness.
“In that case,” Jogo outlined the plan.
“Hanami, you grab both vessels. We can figure out which one is the real one later.”
“That kid with the phone goes to Dagon. You have to snatch his phone immediately and continue sending the signal.”
“I’ll handle the anomaly.”
Hanami and Dagon confirmed they understood.
Using Hanami’s concealment, they crept closer and closer to the dormitory.
They could clearly hear the commotion inside.
Someone was laughing hysterically, shouting, “Holy crap, it actually works! But why does the white one only have a head?! Hahahaha…”
Jogo nodded to Hanami and Dagon, signaling it was time to attack.
Cursed energy surged into his hand, condensing into superheated flames that blasted a massive hole straight through the exterior wall of the dormitory!
The three Special Grade Cursed Spirits charged inside instantly!
They rushed toward their respective targets, aiming to end the battle in the blink of an eye!
Yet, the voices inside were even faster!
“With this treasure, I summon…!!” x2
Kaito had no idea who the attackers were.
He had no idea what their objective was.
He only knew one thing: it was suicide-bombing time!!!
“[Eight-Handled Sword…]!!”
Jogo’s hand lunged toward him at blinding speed!
The massive, concrete-colored hand, reeking of sulfur, rapidly expanded in Kaito’s vision!
Kaito’s one eye widened.
He realized he wouldn’t finish the chant in time.
‘LOWER HALF OF GOJO, SAVE ME!!!’ he screamed internally.
Desummon.
Resummon!
The Lower Half of Gojo that had been waiting in the corner suddenly appeared right in front of Kaito.
Because it was shorter, it didn’t fully block Jogo’s hand, but the impact slowed Jogo down for a split second.
But that pause lasted only a moment.
The [Fraud Megumi] mecha Kaito was using wasn’t fast enough to dodge in time.
‘Trash Fushiguro!’ Kaito cursed mentally as a million thoughts flashed through his head.
He didn’t forget to insult Megumi even on the brink of death.
If he got grabbed and dragged out of the [Fraud Megumi] cockpit, the Mahoraga summoning ritual would be canceled anyway!
Left with no other option, Kaito desummoned [Fraud Megumi].
The instant [Fraud Megumi] vanished, Jogo’s massive hand slammed shut!
He missed the falling Kaito by just a few millimeters.
Kaito smacked onto the floorboards and bounced backward twice.
‘Fuck!
How did three Special Grades spawn out of nowhere?!’ Kaito thought frantically.
‘They’re definitely trying to capture me to use as a slave!
I refuse to become a Suku-Fleshlight!!’
‘How am I supposed to fight this?
What do I do?’
‘The World-Cutting Slash?’ At this point, whether Sukuna learned it or not didn’t matter.
But would it even be enough?
Jogo could survive as just a severed head!
How was a Suku-Blob supposed to fight three Domain-capable Special Grades?!
‘Wait, did Megumi pull it off?!’
The poster boy for stress actually hadn’t reacted slowly at all.
He had chanted the first half of the incantation almost completely in sync with Kaito.
‘I got interrupted, but he should have successfully summoned Mahoraga… right?’
These thoughts raced through his mind in a split second.
“…” Kaito darted his eye sideways.
Yuji, who had only practiced cursed energy for half a day, and the [Fraud Yuji] on the floor were both stuck, tightly wrapped up by thick tree roots.
But where was Megumi?
He was nowhere to be seen.
“TRASH FUSHIGURO!!!” Kaito couldn’t hold it back.
‘No, wait, I still have a backup plan!
I set up Fushiguro’s dead-man’s switch to Gojo!
If Gojo doesn’t receive a text for more than ten seconds, he’ll realize something is wrong and warp here to save us!’
Tap, tap, tap—
Dagon clumsily tapped his tentacles against the smartphone screen, making rhythmic clicking noises.
Kaito burst out laughing.
“You guys are animals! You even stopped that?”
“We are curses, but we are also the true humans!” Jogo declared, incinerating the bothersome Lower Half of Gojo into a ball of fire.
Even Kaito’s custom ultimate move for the Lower Half of Gojo—Hollow Technique: [Squirt]—was evaporated mid-air the second it fired.
Kaito closed his one eye.
With all his other options gone, he had only one move left.
“I surrender!!!” Kaito yelled.
“You clearly weren’t trying to kill me just now. I surrender! Don’t shoot, I’ll go with you quietly!”
“If you want to use me as a Suku-Fleshlight… go right ahead!”
Jogo looked at Hanami in utter bewilderment.
His eye clearly conveyed the question: ‘What the hell is a Suku-Fleshlight?’
Hanami shook her head, indicating she had no idea either.
Bound by the roots, a chaotic storm of emotions raged in Yuji’s heart, but he couldn’t speak.
He didn’t blame Kaito.
It was his own fault for being so weak…
As for Megumi… yeah, he was still hanging on the wall.
“But I have one condition,” Kaito said.
Just as Jogo assumed Kaito was going to spout some nonsense about letting the Sukuna vessel go, Kaito extended a tentacle and pointed straight at Hanami.
“I can see this beauty still has her charm. I want her to carry me!”
“…” Jogo.
“…” Dagon.
“…” Yuji.
“…?” Hanami.
Kaito looked left and right, feigning hesitation.
“I’ll take your silence as an agreement.”
He moved over to the tied-up [Fraud Yuji] by himself.
Looking back at Hanami, he spoke softly:
“You are the most beautiful cursed spirit girl I have ever seen!!”
“However, getting physically intimate right away goes against my gentlemanly principles. Let’s wait until we get to know each other better.”
“I’ll just stay on this Itadori, and you can carry us both away.”
“Don’t hold back. Bind me tightly with your wood!”
Hanami took a bewildered step back.
For a moment, she couldn’t formulate a single word.
She looked at Jogo, her expression caught somewhere between a question and a plea for help.
“…Just do it,” Jogo finally said after a long silence.
‘Geto, is this what you meant when you said we needed to exercise absolute caution?
Is this the anomaly we’re supposed to treat with courtesy if things go smoothly?
He’s just a pervert!’
Hanami silently shifted the roots binding [Fraud Yuji], creating a small opening.
Kaito squirmed inside.
“Umm…” Hanami finally couldn’t hold it in anymore.
The voice of a gentle woman echoed directly in Kaito’s mind.
“Your appearance is not human either. If you are willing to become our comrade, what you said earlier… I might consider it…”
Dagon panicked!
Fun fact: Mahito’s hobby was finding faults in humans.
Jogo’s hobby was collecting cursed tools.
Hanami’s hobby was fresh air.
But Dagon’s hobbies were swimming and, well…
Hanami.
Dagon: ‘I’m being cucked!
I’m being cucked!!!’
Kaito paused for a moment.
As the tree roots wrapped tightly around him, he laughed.
“That sounds wonderful.”
Hanami’s voice really was pleasant.
Unfortunately for her… he was 100% human.
As soon as the roots sealed him in, Kaito’s eye became eerily calm.
His tentacles stabbed straight through [Fraud Yuji]’s skin.
‘You three probably didn’t hear what I said earlier.
So I’ll say it again.’
“The absolute fraud. The consequent lack of stress tolerance. And the one who taught me how to suicide-bomb is…”
The dead look in [Fraud Yuji]’s eyes was replaced by a spark of consciousness under Kaito’s control.
But almost instantly, that spark morphed into a gaze burning with sadistic cruelty.
Mysterious tattoos began to manifest across his skin!