New week guys, help me push the story forward 🙂
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“Pure fraud. Total immunity to stress. The one who taught me the true meaning of self-destruction was…”
“Megumi? Megumi!”
Kaito was slapping Megumi Fushiguro across the face with a tentacle, over and over.
God only knows what went through his head when he and Yuji dragged themselves back to the ruined dorms and found Megumi still embedded in the wall like a modern art installation.
A single ray of golden sunlight pierced through the cracked concrete, bathing him in a heavenly glow.
They’d almost been eaten as midnight snacks, and this guy was out here sunbathing and cosplaying as Jesus?
Kaito went to work with a rapid-fire series of backhands laced with Reverse Cursed Technique, healing and slapping him at the same time.
“…” Megumi’s eyelids fluttered open a crack.
Kaito had gotten a little too into the rhythm and couldn’t stop in time.
Another tentacle smacked him right across the cheek!
“BANG!”
Meeting Megumi’s dazed, bewildered stare, Kaito felt a tiny prick of guilt.
He quickly softened his voice into a gentle, soothing tone.
“Wakey wakey. Congratulations, you’re now an adorable bankrupt deadbeat. The Mahoraga you summoned demolished the whole Jujutsu High campus. The repairs alone will have you working minimum wage without food or water until your next life. But don’t worry, you can always pimp out your animal Shikigami to pay off the debt. The furry market is super lucrative these days.”
Megumi shot upright.
What the hell??
Mahoraga destroying the entire school?
That part, he actually believed.
Hundreds of years ago, a Gojo clan head with the Six Eyes and Limitless had died alongside a Zen’in clan head who summoned Mahoraga in a suicide attack.
Rumor had it that it was supposed to be a friendly sparring match.
The Zen’in head just got so tilted about not being able to get past Infinity that he decided to go nuclear.
The results were a bit too nuclear.
But Megumi clearly remembered getting knocked out before he could finish the ‘Furube’ incantation!
Had he summoned Mahoraga in his sleep through muscle memory??
‘Did I really suicide-bomb in my dreams??’
“Kaito, why are you always messing with Megumi?”
Yuji scratched his head with his severed right arm, which he was holding in his left hand.
Sure, Megumi was a little cold, a massive tsundere, and always scowling… but he didn’t deserve this level of psychological torture, right?
“Who’s messing with him?” Kaito said with dead seriousness.
“Itadori, you haven’t entered the real adult world yet, so you don’t get it. Liability is all about finding the root cause.”
“Think about it. If Megumi had summoned Mahoraga successfully and let it fight the three cursed spirits, and I’d used [Fraud Itadori] to clean up afterward, we’d have lost one dorm building at most. Right? But look at us now! Forget the dorms, the cafeteria’s gone too! What are we supposed to eat??”
“So Megumi bears primary responsibility for this incident. That said, purely out of humanitarian goodwill, I’m willing to sponsor the reconstruction of the school toilets.” You are reading on novelping dot com, the official source.
Yuji blinked, his brain short-circuiting as he tried to process that twisted logic.
Rubbing his throbbing temples, Megumi finally pieced the timeline together.
“Let me get this straight. You fought those cursed spirits, leveled the entire school yourself, and now you want to pin it on me?”
“Tsk, tsk! Listen to yourself! Where’s your class consciousness?” Kaito sounded heartbroken.
“If I hadn’t shown up, you’d have become Sukuna’s personal meat suit! Then you’d have gotten early-onset dementia from tanking Unlimited Void, lost your mind, and suicide-bombed a stray dog on the side of the road! So what’s the big deal about taking the fall for me??”
Watching Kaito spout this shameless nonsense with such righteous outrage, Megumi couldn’t help thinking of a certain white-haired bastard who was supposedly his benefactor.
He didn’t even have the energy to argue anymore.
“Where’s Gojo-sensei? My updates stopped coming, so he should’ve rushed back by now, right?”
“Ugh, don’t bring him up.” Kaito waved a tentacle in disgust.
“He’s basically the cops in a horror movie or the hardworking, oblivious husband in an NTR doujin. They only ever show up after the deed’s already done.”
Just outside the ruined dorm walls, Satoru Gojo landed right as that sentence was spoken.
His face twitched.
He’d rushed back the second he got the intel.
Going by the timeline, three or four minutes at most had passed between the fight breaking out and the message reaching him.
His travel time was basically zero.
Who could have guessed the fight would already be over?
And not just over.
It had been an apocalyptic brawl that leveled the whole Jujutsu High campus, blowing Gojo’s previous estimate of Kaito’s destructive power out of the water.
He’d ditched his meeting halfway through to rush back, only to get stuck on mop-up duty… and he hadn’t even managed to do that cleanly.
Gojo stepped through the gaping hole in the wall.
Hearing footsteps, Kaito turned his blob body around.
“Oh, look~ The King of Jujutsu has arrived. There were three cursed spirits… so why’d you only bring back an octopus head?”
Kaito stared at the red octopus head dangling from Gojo’s hand.
It was Dagon, without a doubt.
This was not the cute, floating cursed womb form.
Even in his severed state, Dagon had clearly reached his fully evolved form.
His mouth tentacles were still twitching weakly, indicating he wasn’t quite dead yet, but his eyes were vacant.
Gojo tossed Dagon’s head onto a mostly intact bed.
“The first one I found was the volcano-head. He was digging through the rubble like crazy, trying to unearth his buried friend. The second I engaged him, this octopus showed up. Judging by the cursed energy fluctuations, he’d probably just force-evolved out of his cursed womb state. His Domain Expansion was pretty good, though.”
Gojo paused, his eyes drifting away, clearly displaying a hint of guilt.
“This octopus yelled at the volcano-head to run, popped his Domain, and dragged me inside! I crushed it fast. Really, really fast! But as for the other two… they got away. Even my Six Eyes can’t pick up their residuals.”
Kaito stared Gojo down with his single eye.
After a long, suffocating silence, he suddenly asked, “For real?” Enjoying the story? Read on at g.com.
“Super real!” Gojo promised.
“Right, I get it.” Kaito clapped two tentacles together.
“Since the octopus dropped the classic anime line, ‘Run, I’ll hold him off!’, you figured his friend would stand his ground and drop the classic anime response: ‘I’m not leaving! If we die, we die together!'”
“And because you were expecting a dramatic standoff, you decided to goof around inside the Domain for a bit, didn’t you?”
Megumi silently turned his gaze on Gojo.
Based on a lifetime of experience with his teacher, that was exactly the kind of thing he’d do!
“Of course not…” Gojo said, then whistled at the ceiling.
In his defense, Gojo really hadn’t wasted much time inside the Domain.
At the very most, he’d spent a second or two trying to pluck a coconut from one of the palm trees on the beach.
Who knew the volcano-head would ditch his friend and bolt without a second thought!
And who knew the tree cursed spirit, beaten within an inch of its life, still had the stamina to hide them both that well!
Kaito shook his head.
Whatever.
If he wasn’t constantly testing limits and goofing off, he wouldn’t be Satoru Gojo.
“I’m going to make the Lower Half of Gojo streak naked through Shibuya and broadcast Little Gojo’s ultimate technique, ‘Squirt,’ to the entire world.”
“Hey, hey! That’s way too cruel!”
Despite his playboy demeanor, the pure-hearted Satoru Gojo, just two years shy of turning thirty, completely lost it.
He scrambled to justify himself.
“Actually, catching the octopus is super valuable! He’s got the entire Cursed Warehouse inventory stored in his stomach! If they’d gotten away with all those cursed tools, it would’ve been a disaster!”
This was the perfect chance to cure Gojo of his chronic goofing-off syndrome, and Kaito wasn’t about to let it slide.
He hit him with an ultimatum.
“Make a Binding Vow right now that you’ll stop playing around. Otherwise, he’s not just streaking. I’m putting the Lower Half of Gojo on a global fan meet-and-greet tour! First stop: Times Square!”
Gojo didn’t fully understand how that would work, but his instincts were screaming, ‘Oh god, please no!’
He answered in a split second.
“I ACCEPT!”
“Excellent.” Kaito nodded in satisfaction.
“Then go finish cleaning up the mess.”
“Also, your meeting with the higher-ups isn’t over yet, right? Take me with you. There’s no point hiding my existence anymore. This whole plan to destroy Jujutsu High was Kenjaku’s doing! This isn’t some run-of-the-mill villain. It’s time to bring the hammer down!”
~ Don’t forget your stones 🙂
Check out my new HxH Fanfiction:
Hunter x Hunter: Starting as the Number One Player