Headache, headache, headache.
Ji An’s ears were ringing incessantly, a constant buzzing sound.
The feeling that You Fu’s development had veered off the expected path was like trying to hold onto a handful of non-Newtonian fluid: you had to grip it tightly to keep it, otherwise, with the slightest slack, You Fu would slip through your fingers.
He looked at the person on the hospital bed and absentmindedly picked at a hangnail on his finger.
You Fu had become so haggard that his once fair face had turned ashen, and his lips, once a faint red, were now colorless and cracked, bleeding.
“I’m sorry, I kept you from your work.” Those were You Fu’s first words upon waking.
Once he was sure everything was normal, Ji An released his tightly clenched hand.
“Let’s go home.”
Ji An leaned against the bedroom door, watching the person inside shuffle to sit on the edge of the bed.
Despite Ji An’s gaze, which was almost fixed on him, You Fu showed no discomfort. He lay down on the bed and pulled the blanket over himself, reminding Ji An to hurry to work.
Ji An pulled the door shut, watching as the person inside shrank inch by inch until he disappeared from view. Ji An took a few steps with his briefcase, hesitated, then tossed it onto the sofa and barged back into You Fu’s room.
You Fu sat up, “Brother, is there something else?”
“Yeah.” Ji An picked up the pillow from the bed, “Bring your blanket to my room.”
The two blankets on the bed were close together, and You Fu sat awkwardly on the bed, “Is that really okay?”
“What else? Do you really want to exhaust yourself to death?” Ji An lay down on the bed, impatiently urging, “Lie down or get out.”
You Fu lay down beside him, “Did you know I need this to fall asleep?”
“I just confirmed it not long ago. Why didn’t you tell me before?”
You Fu lowered his eyes, unable to hide his loneliness, “You hate me.”
Yes, what good would it do to say it? He hated You Fu, and what else could You Fu expect but curses and punishment? Ji An’s heart trembled, “I do hate you, but I hate it more if you die.”
Like on a snowy day, he grabbed You Fu’s hand, not looking at his expression, only feeling the hand slowly return the grip, their fingers interlocking.
Ji An had shared a bed with others almost exclusively with You Fu.
When You Fu was little, they used to sleep together. Back then, Ji An couldn’t afford a better place, and the narrow room only had a single bed. Fortunately, You Fu was small and thin, not taking up much space, so they could sleep, though they had to press close to each other.
In the hot summer, with the air conditioning not working well, they would sweat from the other’s body heat.
Back then, Ji An had been ruthless, making a floor bed for You Fu.
But the child was frail, got sick from sleeping on the floor, and it cost a lot to treat him.
Full of resentment, Ji An sent the child back to the bed and slept on the floor himself.
Hearing the even breathing, Ji An opened his eyes. You Fu’s face was right there. Ji An rarely observed his face so closely. The features were perfectly arranged, the thin lips never curving into a smile, the nose high and straight, the skin flawlessly white. Ji An remembered that from middle school until now, You Fu had never had acne.
Ji An disliked his eyes the most, not because they weren’t good-looking, but because being locked onto by them felt unpleasant. The eyelids were so thin that they almost became monolids, the eyelashes long and straight, and the deep brown eyes, with their sharp shape and slightly lowered brows, carried a certain sharpness.
Little You Fu wasn’t much different from now, just with more flesh on his face. Back then, Ji An would bully him, always pinching his cheeks, watching the narrow face become cuter with a bit of flesh, more like a child his age should look.
Now…
Ji An pinched his face, finding little flesh, the sharp chin resting in his palm.
The chubby little boy had grown into a certain adult male.
Not cute at all!
Ji An drifted off to sleep too, and when he woke, the room was dim. They were no longer holding hands, and You Fu had snuggled into his blanket, pushing Ji An to the edge of the bed, holding his waist, head buried in his chest, sleeping soundly.
“Bastard.” Ji An had just grabbed the hand around his waist when it turned and tightly clasped his.
Ji An was speechless, reluctant to wake You Fu, or he would have slapped him awake.
Struggling to pull his hand back, Ji An could only try to lull himself to sleep, thinking it wouldn’t be uncomfortable if he slept. He drifted in and out until he woke again, finding it still dark outside.
He wondered why time seemed to pass so slowly. Checking his phone, he found it was already the next morning, and he had slept for over ten hours.
You Fu showed no signs of waking. If not for his breathing tickling Ji An’s chest, Ji An might have thought he had died.
It wasn’t easy for You Fu to sleep well, so Ji An maintained his position, idly scrolling through his phone.
After over an hour, the person in his arms stirred.
You Fu lay in Ji An’s arms, trying to organize his still groggy mind. His hair was yanked, forcing him to look up, and he was met with Ji An’s striking face, his long lashes accentuating the slight tilt of his eyes, the clear light pupils like spring water touched by sunlight.
You Fu’s breath caught, forgetting to blink.
Seeing his dazed expression, Ji An thought he wasn’t fully awake yet, raising an elegant brow, “Little brother, do you know what you look like right now?”
You Fu shook his head.
Ji An taunted, “Like a dumb dog missing a brain.”
You Fu’s face turned cold, his mouth opening without making a sound. Ji An understood his lip movements; he was saying “woof.”
“Pfft, looks like you slept yourself stupid, can’t tell good words from bad.” Ji An was in a good mood, not minding that You Fu had clung to him all night, “If you’re rested, get moving, I’ve been holding you all night.”
You Fu sat up, and Ji An reached out to grab his chin, pulling him close. You Fu winced and leaned in to avoid falling on him, placing his hands on the pillow.
Ji An’s fingers brushed his lower eyelid, “Not bad.”
You Fu didn’t blink, staring directly at the person below.
Ji An released him, “I got you two days off, so you don’t die at school and leave me to deal with it. Go make me breakfast.”
You Fu agreed, getting out of bed to cook.
Even when taking time off to study at home, You Fu never fell behind, spending his time at the desk watching online courses and doing practice problems.
He glanced at the phone’s lock screen, a hastily drawn stick figure with a small dot at the corner of its mouth, a dimple.
In the company of the figure in the drawing, he picked up a pen and wrote “Ji An” densely on the paper, not “Brother.”
You Fu and the room that dogs couldn’t enter became a place where dogs couldn’t enter, but You Fu could.
Ji An, in a rare act of kindness, allowed him to sleep in his room until his insomnia was cured.
You Fu climbed into bed, turning off the lamp.
Ji An turned to grab his hand, hearing rustling sounds as You Fu wrapped his arms around him.
Ji An froze like a statue, trying to push him away, “What are you doing?”
You Fu buried his face in his neck, “Sleeping.”
Ji An was tickled by his nose, “If you’re sleeping, then sleep, why are you hugging me?”
You Fu retorted, “Didn’t we sleep like this yesterday?”
“Can’t you sleep just holding hands?”
“No difference.”
“How is there no difference?”
“Holding hands, I wake up, then I have to hug again.”
“…”
Ji An wanted to say that while this helped You Fu sleep, it kept him awake, but the next moment You Fu released him, moving to the edge of the bed, dejectedly saying, “If Brother is uncomfortable, then forget it. I can sleep without hugging, don’t worry about me.”
The tone was soft, the voice small, yet Ji An found it grating, hesitating for a moment, “Fine, hug then.”
You Fu hugged Ji An through the blanket.
“?” Ji An, “Aren’t you cold?”
You Fu sensibly said, “If I hug Brother to sleep, we’ll end up in the same blanket, and Brother will be uncomfortable. Don’t inconvenience yourself because of me.”
Ji An thought, I’m already inconvenienced enough, what’s a little more?
But whether sensible or not made no difference, because in the middle of the night, You Fu naturally slipped into the blanket. Ji An was awakened by the breath on his face, finding himself in You Fu’s embrace, tempted to kick him off the bed, blanket and all.
He tried to lift one of You Fu’s arms, but as soon as he did, You Fu opened his eyes, looking at him with a deep gaze.
So sensitive?
Feeling inexplicably guilty, he silently put You Fu’s arm back, and You Fu watched him for a moment before closing his eyes and holding him tighter.
…
At the company.
Xun Yi was handing out wedding candies to the design department, a smile never leaving his face.
Ji An received a beautifully packaged bag of candies, “Congratulations, congratulations, is it a boy or a girl?”
“A girl!” Xun Yi was immersed in the joy of being a first-time father, grinning, “Seven pounds six ounces, cried so loud when she was born, the nurse said she could be a singer one day.”
Gu Ziyu chuckled, teasing, “Why didn’t you have a boy? I still think your wife having a son would be better.”
Ji An, “Why?”
Gu Ziyu snapped his fingers, “Think about it, sons take after their moms, daughters after their dads. If you have a daughter who takes after Xun, when she grows up, won’t she be mad at him? Saying, ‘Why is Mom so pretty, and I take after Dad?'”
His last sentence was in a high-pitched imitation of a woman’s voice, causing the office to burst into laughter.
Ji An smiled faintly, stirring his coffee, a bit preoccupied.
Gu Ziyu squeezed over, “What’s up, Brother An?”
Ji An shook his head, making his way through the crowd to the boss’s office.
After explaining his reason for coming, the boss looked up from his computer, “Not going again? You always find excuses to skip team building. This time, Xun Yi not going is understandable, his wife just had a baby, but why are you, a bachelor, following suit?”
Ji An pulled a chair over and sat in front of him, “I have a younger brother.”
The bald boss was sharp-tongued, “Is your brother your wife?”
Ji An was scalded by his coffee, “Cough, no, I mean my brother has depression, the pressure of the Gaokao is high, he needs company.”
“Isn’t that normal? There are plenty of people with depression in China, if everyone needed company, half the workforce would be on strike. He’s quite grown up, always sticking to you isn’t right. You need your own life, don’t always be a loner. Do you have an issue with the company’s team building arrangements?”
Ji An shook his head, “No.”
“Explain it to him, it’s just two days, surely someone his age can take care of themselves for two days?”
Ji An pressed his lips together, his gaze dropping. The words “he can’t sleep without me” were hard to say, struggling internally to find another reason.
The boss didn’t make it too difficult for him, “Xiao An, don’t always keep to yourself, this is a good opportunity to interact with other colleagues. If you’re really worried, bring him along, he could use a break from the pressure. This time we’re going to the mountains.”
Ji An didn’t understand why the company always chose the mountains for team building, with so many mosquitoes and nothing to do. Was climbing supposed to symbolize rising success, like the money trees they had in the office?
Ji An remembered when he first joined the company and was forced to work overtime by the boss, he deliberately killed a money tree by overwatering it. The ruthless bald boss even held a memorial for the tree, collected some money, and bought another one.
“I’ll ask him.” Ji An took a sip of coffee, stood up, and left without looking back, showing no mercy to the boss.
The boss sighed, wasn’t it said that older employees were supposed to be better at handling social situations? There were plenty of people younger than Ji An in the company, but none who disregarded the boss like him.
The boss recalled Ji An’s expressionless face as he poured hot water on the money tree and felt a pang in his heart.
He had known then that Ji An was ruthless, just because he joked about not giving overtime pay. Even after the pay was given, Ji An never apologized for the tree.
If it weren’t for Ji An’s outstanding ability and unique design vision, he would have gotten rid of this troublemaker long ago.