This chapter had a song and bad Dimentia dialogue, so I cut the song and rewrote her dialogue to be better!
Chapter 9: The Universe’s Greatest Plague The Almighty Tallest were sitting on the couch in their private quarters, looking disappointedly at Tak on their T.V.
screen.
Orbot and Cubot were also in the room.
“We’re very disappointed in you, Tak.” said Red.
“Yeah.” replied Purple.
“You said-” His sentence was cut short as there was the sound of a loud vacuum in the background.
The Tallest and the robots turned to their right to see a Hispanic human maid in a pink gown, white apron, yellow gloves, black shoes and hair, and glasses vacuuming the floor.
“H-Hey!
Consuela!” Red called.
“No vacuuming when we’re on the T.V.!” The maid turned off her vacuum and replied, “Misser Red, we need more lemon pledge.” “Well, go to the store and get some.” Red replied, annoyed.
“Nooo.
I no have the money.
You go.” “How about I lend you the money, and you go to the store and buy some?” “Nooo.” She went back to her vacuuming.
The Tallest just sighed.
“Anyway,” continued Red as he turned back to Tak, “you said you had things under control, Tak.
You had the Brown Star at your disposal, but you go and lose it along with the planet.” “Look, it wasn’t my fault.” replied Tak.
“I would’ve had those guys if it wasn’t for Zim dropping in unannounced and ruining everything!” “Wait a minute!” Red replied.
“ZIM?!
Didn’t we have him banished?” “Not good enough, it seems.
He broke into my lair and practically gave the GKND that Star!” “Of course.” Red sighed.
“The only way to dispose of rogue Irken soldiers is to lock them away.
We’ll send a message to every soldier stating that Zim is officially on the most wanted list.
For now, just rest and await your next orders, Tak.” “Go to Planet Aquaria!” suggested Purple.
“It’s the best place for a vacation!” “Will do, my Tallest.
And I assure you, I’ll get him next time!” The screen shut off.
“Well, now that that there business is outta the way,” said Cubot, “what do y’all reckon we should do about this ‘Number 1’?” “I ‘reckon’ we should fix that chip!
ORBOT!
Is it ready yet?” Red shouted.
“Oh, yes!
And I have it right here!” he said as he held a small chip.
“Well, put it in!” Orbot opened a slot in Cubot’s neck and began tinkering.
“The think bone’s connected to the talk bone!
The talk bone’s connected to the mouth bone!” he said in a sing-song voice.
“That should do it!” “Good.” replied Red.
“I don’t think anything could’ve been more annoying than that cowboy chatter.” “YARR!” screamed Cubot in a pirate voice, making the Tallest leap off the couch in surprise.
“Feelin’ ship-shape with me new voice chip, I am, arrgh!
Ah beggin’ yer pardon, squires, but what do ye suppose we be doin’ about this Nigel Uno lubber?” “I think that’s the wrong chip.” stated Orbot.
“Really?!
Are you sure he doesn’t normally speak in pirate?!” asked Red sarcastically.
“I like the pirate voice!” Purple replied.
“Ugh!
Never mind!
Call in the Star Wolf Team!
Surely, they have the skills to dispose of this new operative.” Orbot looked worriedly.
“Are you quite sure that’s a good idea, sirs?
You know they have Rattlesnake Jake in their gang, now.
He’s the Grim Reaper, you know.” “Aye, he be more vicious than a crazy lady drivin’ a truck down a country road, he is!” “I don’t care if he’s the Grim Reaper or the Demon King himself.
Just go get them!” “Well, worry not, sires!
Me and me matey here will have those swabbies over in a jiffy!” Cubot exclaimed as he sped off.
“On the bright side, he’s a lot more exotic, now!” said Orbot.
“Just go get Star Wolf and FIX THAT CHIP!” At Red’s command, Orbot shot off after his piratey companion.
GKND H.Q.
Dib was aghast seeing the enormous space station, which was, unsurprisingly, in the shape of Dimentia’s head.
When they landed in the hangar and went to the main room, they were greeted by Dimentia, Jeremy, and Gabe.
“Another job well done!” praised Dimentia.
She then noticed Dib and asked, “Who’s this?” “Oh, uh, Dimentia, this is Dib Membrane.
He came all the way from Earth to find an Irken called Zim.
He helped us while we were on Secco.” Nigel answered.
“Dib, this is-” “NUMBUH 256!
Supreme Leader of all GKND, Dimentia herself!” Dib exclaimed excitedly.
“You’re more beautiful than I imagined!” Everyone else in the room was in great shock.
Dimentia herself just blushed.
The last time someone thought she was pretty was… Dimentia shook the whole thought off, not wanting to go down that road again.
“Well, Dib, I appreciate you helping my operatives, but I’m afraid we can only have one operative per planet.
Now, if you just promise not to say anything about this whole thing, you can pack your things and be on your way.” “WHAT?!
But I just found the GKND Headquarters!
I can’t go back to Earth!
I WON’T!
At least not without Zim!
You can’t send me back!
Please let me stay!” Dib begged as he got down on his knees.
“You know, Dimentia,” Nigel started, “we wouldn’t have been able to get that Star without Dib’s help.” “Yeah!” Ava replied.
“And we can really use his technical know-how!” Dimentia looked at the begging Dib, and thought for a moment before saying, “Okay, you can stay.” “YEESS!!” “But only until you catch this Zim character.
Afterwards, we’re sending you straight back to Earth.” “Understood.” Dib replied, with a lot less motivation in his voice.
“…Huh?” Nigel then took notice of the mariachi band standing on the railing at the top of the stairs.
“How did they get here?” “Who?” Dimentia asked, looking where he viewed.
“What are you talking about?” “Don’t you see them?” “See who?” “Er…” Somehow, the owls were invisible to Dimentia?
“Never mind.
Must be delirious from the heat.” “Man!
How cool is this?!” Dib asked excitedly.
“I’m actually working with GKND!
This is a paranormal investigator’s dream come true!” “How about we give you the tour?” Ava offered.
“You guys go do that.
I need to speak with Dimentia.” Nigel said before walking off.
“Okay.
See you later, Nigel.” Ava waved him off.
Grand Supreme Galactic Leader Dimentia’s Throne Room “So, what’s new?” asked Blue.
“Nigel and Ava found another Earth kid on Secco, called Dib.
He’s only staying for a short while, but I fear his paranormal investigator instincts may cause him to get nosey.
I want the three of you to keep an eye on him while he’s here.” “But what do you plan to do about You-Know-Who?” “Don’t worry.
I doubt anyone on Earth will listen to what a monster has to say.
In the meantime, we-” “Dimentia.” Dimentia turned, startled, to see Numbuh 1 standing in the doorway.
“Oh, Number 1!” “Numbuh 1.” “Whatever.
How long have you been there?” “I just arrived.
Who are they?” “Oh, these are the Magiblots!
They come from my planet.
They may be creatures of darkness, but they’re ever so loyal!” she said with a smile.
“Riiight.
Anyway, I need to ask you something, Dimentia.” “Anything for a loyal operative!” “It’s that… Before I came here, I was allowed to say good-bye to my friends.
But there’s actually one friend I never had the chance to.
I mean, a couple really, but-” “We’ve been over this, haven’t we?
The people of Earth can’t fathom what lies out here.” “But we had a fight!
I mean… Rachel and I; my old Supreme Leader… we sort of had this argument and we never got a chance to make up.” “Then was she truly your friend?” “Of course she was!
She was just doing her job; and after I broke up with Lizzie, she tried to cheer me up, but I turned her down and…” “…” Dimentia narrowed her eyes.
“You must let these attachments go.
If I let you go back even briefly, you will fall to the plague.” “Come on, I wouldn’t age THAT quickly.” “I don’t just mean adulthood.
I mean love.” “Love?!” “Of all the things that could cause the adulthood disease, from newspapers to vegetables, love is the worst of them all.
It causes nothing but pain and misery.
And we kids shouldn’t have to trouble ourselves with it.
Take your ex-girlfriend, Lizzie, for example, she was overbearing and overwhelming, always trying to pull you away from your important duties.
That’s exactly the reason why I sent Gabe and Jeremy to try and break you up.” “But they didn’t break us up.
The Computer did.” “I know, and that’s another example.
Love makes people do all sorts of stupid and crazy things.
Your Computer was overwhelmed by love for you and tried to nearly kill both you and Lizzie.” “Well, I know my relationship with Lizzie didn’t go so well, but… w-what does this have to do with Rachel, anyway?!” He blushed.
“Whether it’s Rachel, Lizzie, or even one of your other friends, the more you got attached to them, that attachment would develop into love.
Love would force you to abandon your duties, your desires and passions, and succumb to responsibility.
And that leads to adulthood.” “Alright, this is the most ridiculous thing, yet.” “All love is bad, Nigel.
It takes away from us what’s truly important: our duties as operatives.
Sure, love may seem pleasant and warming at first, but it only leads to hurt and betrayal.
The same hurt you felt when you were banned from the cake mission.” Nigel bit his lip.
So, she knew about that.
“Well, if she knew that was going to be the last time we saw each other, it would’ve been different!” “You don’t understand.
All these emotions and attachments were a hindrance to you, and they only resulted in pain.
Believe me, we’ve collected plenty more info.
Your cousin always gossiped about you behind your back, your friends at Sector V liked to make fun of your butt.
Be it friendly love, family love, or romantic love, it leads to pain.
Even I have to keep my operatives on a leash.
You may enjoy your time with Ava, but when you’re out there, it’s duty first and friendship, strictly, second.” Nigel wanted to grind his teeth in aggravation.
“It pisses me off more that you even know all that.” “I know.
It’s shameful to pry, yet it’s a necessary evil.
All operatives here have shame and humility that they’ve left behind.
But you were chosen for your deeds, not your embarrassment.
Be thankful you can leave it all behind.
Now, why don’t you go get some sleep?
A bath, too.
Secco’s intense heat shows no mercy.” “Sigh…sure.” “Oh, that reminds me: I got you something!” She snapped her fingers, and an alarm clock appeared in her hands.
“I know how that alarm clock sound always bugs you in the morning, so I got you this one!
Check it out!” She pushed a button on the clock.
HAANH!
HAANH!
HAANH!
“What do you think?” Nigel looked at it strangely.
“Well, it’s less noisy.” “Perfect!
Now, run along and get some rest!
You’ll need it to find all those shiny Star Pieces!” Nigel turned to leave.
“Oh, one more thing?” Nigel returned attention.
“Mind your vocabulary, too.
Some words also taint you with adulthood.” “…Didn’t stop Numbuh 4.” Nigel left on that note.
“Hmm.” Dimentia frowned.
“Well, you three…” she acknowledged her Magiblots, “go check on that downstairs.
I need to be alone.” They melted into the floor and vanished.
The Supreme Leader shut her eyes.
Visions of a circus, a twin, a shadowy being with a white flame head flickered in her mind.
She bit her lip and grasped her arm.
Yes… a plague indeed.