Not allowed to disparage yourself. Bai Yi did not feel like he was disparaging himself, but perhaps he was. He made sure to remember it.
“Oh.”
“Oh what? Copy it another hundred times.” Xiao Shiyun left rather hurriedly. “I still have matters to attend to, stay here by yourself.”
Refusing to copy it, Bai Yi turned around and walked toward the bedroom, but halfway there, he retreated and stood before the desk. He spread out a blank sheet of paper and picked up the brush, thinking it over carefully. He had better meticulously note down Xiao Shiyun’s preferences.
Starting today, pursuing Xiao Shiyun was his mission, so he had to treat it seriously. What did Xiao Shiyun like again? He liked nitpicking, liked scolding people, liked criticizing other people’s memorials as complete garbage, and liked extravagance and waste.
Fine, after this analysis of his, Xiao Shiyun became utterly worthless in his eyes. He shouldn’t think that way either; at least Xiao Shiyun treated him reasonably well.
Ultimately, Bai Yi wrote down what Xiao Shiyun disliked on the paper: he disliked him running around blindly, disliked him mentioning the word “home,” and disliked other people chatting him up.
The last time they went to the night market to dress up as ghosts and scare people, the effect was quite good. He should like rather unconventional activities, so Bai Yi wrote the word “unconventional” on the paper as well.
When he picked up the paper and looked at it, no matter how he looked, it felt off. Was this a handbook for pursuing someone? This was clearly a handbook for picking flaws.
Should he study what kind of dishes Xiao Shiyun liked to eat tomorrow? Bai Yi nodded and noted it down on the paper, but he didn’t know how to cook either.
Assuming he wanted to pursue a girl in university right now, what should he do? Deliver milk tea, buy flowers, show warmth and concern, and occasionally act cool to show off. Or send a piece of jewelry as a gift, accompany her to the library for self-study, and take the English CET-4 and CET-6 exams together.
That would work. Bai Yi wrote down hand-made milk tea, drinking and playing Truth or Dare, picking wild flowers for Xiao Shiyun, tying them together and gifting them to him, and accompanying Xiao Shiyun late into the night while he handled political affairs.
No issues there, he would do exactly that.
Bai Yi returned to the bedroom with the list, covering his chest with the properly enumerated paper, closing his eyes contentedly as he prepared to fall asleep.
In the middle of the night, during his sleep, he vaguely felt something crowding him. Bai Yi couldn’t tolerate that even a little bit. Damn it, this was his bed. In his subconscious, the right to occupy territory belonged to him. Bai Yi kicked out blindly. He wasn’t going to let anyone fight him for the bed. Whoever dared to steal his sleeping position and yank his blanket, he would pull a gun and shoot them dead.
In the darkness, a sharp intake of breath was exceptionally clear. In his dream, Bai Yi felt like he received a barrage of slaps.
He was slapped awake. Xiao Shiyun slapped Bai Yi’s left and right cheeks, speaking with an airborne anger, “Hey, you are sleeping in my bed.”
Bai Yi, who had been jarred awake from a beautiful dream, wished nothing more than to chop someone down. Without even opening his eyes, he pushed Xiao Shiyun away. “Get lost, I want to sleep, don’t disturb me!”
Xiao Shiyun let out a furious laugh. He unfastened his belt and threw it on the floor, pulling open the ties at the waist of his thin inner robe. He stripped it off casually, crowding onto the bed without any regard for decorum, squeezing Bai Yi into the inner side of the bed. “You insist on sleeping like this, right? Don’t regret it when you get out of bed tomorrow morning.”
The moment Xiao Shiyun lay down, the blanket was rolled away by Bai Yi. Bai Yi wrapped himself tightly into a silkworm cocoon with the blanket, sealed tight on all sides, revealing only a single head.
A cold breeze swept over him. After Xiao Shiyun lay there for a while, he resolutely decided to snatch the blanket back, grabbing a corner of the blanket and yanking it back. When he finally pulled it over himself, Xiao Shiyun turned his head and discovered that Bai Yi wasn’t wearing any clothes, so he couldn’t help but toss the snatched blanket right back over him.
The paper covering Bai Yi’s chest fell right beside Xiao Shiyun’s hand, utterly oblivious to the fact that the strategy guide he wrote was being read from beginning to end.
Under the candlelight, Xiao Shiyun’s gaze focused on the very first line of characters he wrote: “Dislikes running around by myself and being chatted up by people.”
Heh, he actually possessed quite a bit of self-awareness.
“Hand-made milk tea isn’t poisoned, right? Truth or Dare… what on earth is that?”
Xiao Shiyun folded the paper he wrote properly and placed it back right beside Bai Yi, at the exact same angle from which it was picked up earlier, appearing so rigorous as if he hadn’t even left a fingerprint.
The early autumn night was somewhat cool. Xiao Shiyun cushioned his head with his arm, as moonlight quietly crawled onto his sleeve. Tonight was different from previous nights; the moonlight seemed whiter, and time became more drawn out.
It lasted until Bai Yi threw his hand over Xiao Shiyun’s body. The heat source transmitted from the contact between skin and skin constantly permeated into every single vein of Xiao Shiyun’s body.
Bai Yi began to snore, looping his arm around Xiao Shiyun’s neck and wantonly throwing a leg over Xiao Shiyun’s waist. No matter how he pushed, he couldn’t push him away, sticking to Xiao Shiyun’s body like a piece of dog-skin plaster.
“Bai Yi?” Xiao Shiyun attempted to remove Bai Yi’s hand, trying to no avail.
Bai Yi’s lips moved slightly. “Milk tea… don’t go.”
Thinking entirely about food. Two black lines slid down Xiao Shiyun’s forehead.
Forget it, he would just sleep like this. Xiao Shiyun resigned himself to fate and closed his eyes, for the first time not waking up during the third watch of the night to drink tea, sleeping deeply through a dreamless night.
Before he could get enough sleep, a pot boiled over early the next morning.
“Xiao Shiyun! What did you do to me?! Where are my clothes? Why are you not wearing clothes either?!” Bai Yi carried an expression as if struck by a heavenly thunderbolt, clutching the blanket as he shrank into a corner of the bed.
Xiao Shiyun unhurriedly put on his clothes and fastened his belt. “Is what I did still not obvious enough?”
Bai Yi scooped up a pillow and threw it at Xiao Shiyun. “Did I agree?! Beast! You actually did this kind of thing to me while I was unaware!”
“Meaning it’s fine once you are aware?” Xiao Shiyun raised his eyebrows and asked, methodically catching the pillow he threw.
“Of course not! The two of us are sworn brothers. Even if we like each other, we can’t do this kind of thing, right? Even if we are going to do it, you have to give me time to accept it! I’m telling you, if this matter were placed in the modern era, the two of us would make the social news section.” Bai Yi wrapped himself tragically in the blanket.
Outside the main hall, the carriage to pick up Xiao Shiyun for the imperial court session was about to arrive. Xiao Shiyun looked down at Bai Yi from above. “I would like to ask, what exactly did I do to you?”
“You still dare to ask me! Isn’t it just that kind of thing?” Bai Yi found it hard to speak of, losing a chunk of his momentum.
Xiao Shiyun let out a cold laugh. “Fine, then let me tell you what happened last night.”
You walked into the wrong room, slept in the wrong bed, snatched my blanket, and almost caused me to catch a cold. Not only are you completely unreasonable, but you also have a terrible temper.
Xiao Shiyun held back what he originally wanted to say. If he just let Bai Yi continue to misunderstand like this, it seemed it would be quite interesting instead.
Shifting his tone, he said, “You kept crying out that it was hot last night, and no matter how I called you, you couldn’t be woken up. You held onto me tightly without letting go, telling me not to leave. I merely fulfilled your wish, so you ought to thank me.”
Combining the false with the true, he hadn’t completely lied to Bai Yi either; Bai Yi really had pro-actively held him.
“You walked to the wrong bed, so it ultimately wasn’t me who tied you up to come here, right? After all, so many people want to climb onto my dragon bed every day, how could it be your turn without my permission?”
Bai Yi couldn’t out-talk Xiao Shiyun, and he was so angry he wanted to give him a beating.
“So in the end, I still have to thank you?” Bai Yi asked.
“No need to thank me, it’s time for me to attend court.” Xiao Shiyun, dressed in human-like elegance, executed a refined departure, leaving Bai Yi completely bewildered in the wind.
Bai Yi didn’t believe an ivory tusk could pour from Xiao Shiyun’s dog mouth. Running into a person as malicious as Xiao Shiyun, he wanted to give up from the very first day of officially pursuing him. Making milk tea for him? Forget about it.
It was the thirty-sixth day of missing the originally gentle and considerate Xiao Shiyun.