After that visit to the Han family, Han Yue noticed that Chu Ci’s relationship with his elder brother had become unusually close.
Han Qiang was not someone who liked to appear in public. Compared to Han Yue, he had far fewer social obligations. His leisure activities mostly consisted of gambling, drinking, and spending time with women. Aside from his group of privileged second-generation friends, he rarely interacted with outsiders.
Now, whenever Han Qiang went out to play cards, he would basically bring Chu Ci along. Once, he even had the entire card table moved to Chu Ci’s home. It was said that Chu Ci was quite skilled at cards; whenever he sat down, Han Qiang’s luck would improve significantly. Sometimes after playing, they would drink together and chat. Chu Ci was gentle, patient, and tight-lipped—an ideal conversation partner.
This caused Han Yue a long period of frustration, as if his “two-person world” had been disrupted.
Han Yue was someone who valued a private life as a couple. Originally, Chu Ci had no friends or family, and no social obligations after work. Whenever Han Yue came home, he would see Chu Ci, and they would spend at least ten hours a day together. But now Han Qiang kept dragging Chu Ci out to play cards. Sometimes Chu Ci didn’t even come home for dinner, and weekends were heavily occupied as well. Han Yue felt severely deprived and dissatisfied.
If it had been people like Zhao Ting who kept calling Chu Ci out, Han Yue would have already gone over with a gun and kicked down their door. But this was his elder brother. If he wanted to kick the door, he would have to go through the Han family first.
Once, he found time to complain to Han Qiang:
“Brother, I finally manage to stay in Beijing long-term, why do you keep dragging my… partner out to play cards? Every time you take him away, I’m left alone at home—basically locked in an empty house.”
Han Qiang retorted, “I don’t ‘keep’ calling Engineer Chu out. It’s only once or twice a week, and I always inform you in advance. Besides, do you really think that’s called ‘keeping a partner’? That’s basically confinement. You get angry just because he talks to Zhao Ting a few times. Aren’t you afraid he’ll resent you later?”
Han Yue was momentarily speechless.
From any perspective, it was indeed good for Chu Ci to go out occasionally. Moderate social interaction and outdoor activity could alleviate depressive symptoms. Maintaining contact with the Han family could also strengthen his relationship with them. Moreover, playing cards was not some improper activity—far better than drinking, gambling, or chasing women.
Han Yue felt troubled, so he went to consult Ren Jiayun, who claimed to have minored in psychology in university with perfect scores.
After hearing the situation, Ren Jiayun asked, “Do you think Engineer Chu’s mood has improved recently, or worsened?”
“…I’m not sure. He’s always like that—very quiet.”
“For patients with depression, social interaction and recreation are sometimes more effective than medication. Besides, as long as he’s under your control, what do you have to fear?” Ren Jiayun paused, then added, “Actually, I suggest you see a psychologist. I happen to have a friend in that field…”
Han Yue sneered. “Me? See a psychologist? I don’t have depression.”
“You may not, but don’t you think your temper is too bad? It goes beyond normal emotional fluctuation. Last time, because Engineer Chu said a few words to Zhao Ting, you beat someone until they had acute gastric bleeding… Alright, I know you didn’t mean it. But be honest—with Chu Ci, were you able to control your emotions at the time? Were you really fully conscious?”
Han Yue froze. After a long pause, he said, “I… I don’t remember clearly.”
“You don’t remember because you weren’t fully conscious. You insulted him instinctively, hit him instinctively—you didn’t have enough rational control at that moment. Han Er, this is already a psychological issue. A normal person with self-control would not hit someone just because their partner spoke a few words to a friend.”
“…I told you it’s not like that,” Han Yue said, then paused and sucked in a breath. “Anyway, it’s not as serious as you say. What psychological issue, what lack of self-control? I’ve been in the military for so many years—who ever said I was mentally abnormal? If I really went to see a doctor, wouldn’t it become a joke? People would think I’m actually sick!”
As a physician who believed in science and materialism, Ren Jiayun was almost furious at Han Yue’s outdated thinking. Avoiding treatment! Obsolete mindset! From a psychological standpoint, everyone has some degree of mental issues—what era is this still treating psychologists like mental hospitals?
“Listen, Han Er, believe it or not, I don’t care. He’s your partner, not mine. But if you keep this up, next time you’ll still lose control—and it’ll be worse. Don’t tell me you’ll change, because domestic violence is addictive. Look at all those men who usually treat their wives well, but when they drink, they beat them. Then they sober up and kneel to apologize—what good does that do? Nothing! If the underlying issue isn’t resolved, it will happen again!”
Han Yue was stunned.
Before he could respond, Ren Jiayun snapped, “One day you’ll beat Engineer Chu to death!” and hung up.
That night, Han Yue couldn’t sleep. He kept tossing and turning, thinking.
His movements eventually woke Chu Ci, who asked irritably in a half-asleep state, “What are you doing in the middle of the night?!”
Han Yue leaned over, patted his face, and asked in a low voice, “Chu Ci… on my birthday that day, when I hit you… what did you think?”
Chu Ci frowned, pulled the pillow over his face, and refused to answer.
Han Yue persistently patted his back and blew on his ear. After a while, Chu Ci finally lost patience and said coldly:
“I wanted you to die.”
Han Yue froze completely and said nothing for a long time. After a moment, he quietly said “oh,” then slowly lay back down and stopped moving.
Ren Jiayun thought that after hanging up on Han Yue like that, he would definitely be in trouble. Unexpectedly, two days later, Han Yue personally came to find him and asked him to introduce a psychologist.
Ren Jiayun was shocked. “Did you hit someone again these past two days?”
“No.”
“…Argue with Engineer Chu again?”
“No.”
“Then why are you suddenly—”
Han Yue’s expression changed. “Wasn’t it you who insisted I see a doctor? Now that I’m here, why are you questioning me so much? It makes it sound like I’m not welcome.”
Ren Jiayun thought: I’m just afraid you’ll cause trouble. You’re the one volunteering to see a doctor—I should be relieved.
Following Han Yue’s request, he prioritized confidentiality. Han Yue insisted that the doctor must be strictly private and not leak anything. Ren Jiayun guaranteed professional confidentiality and introduced a qualified psychologist friend, even personally escorting Han Yue to the appointments. They agreed on weekly sessions.
After three visits, the psychologist met with Ren Jiayun and stated directly:
“Han Er has explosive personality disorder tendencies.”
Ren Jiayun had already anticipated this and nodded. “I thought so too. Just not severe.”
“Yes. He often becomes angry over minor issues, acts impulsively without considering consequences, and although he feels strong regret afterward, he cannot guarantee it won’t happen again. He is a typical case of wanting self-control but lacking actual control. For example, when he described hitting that engineer, he said it was a ‘reflex kick,’ but that ‘reflex’ is actually impulsive aggression under emotional loss of control. If this continues, he will repeat similar behavior—and as the condition deepens, the violence will escalate, followed again by stronger remorse.”
Ren Jiayun was startled. “His temper has been like this for years. He’s been this way since he was a child. Could it be that…?”
The doctor friend shrugged. “From what he described, I can tell he lacked parental and familial affection during childhood. You could say he grew up completely detached from family emotional bonds. Kinship, friendship, and romantic love are the basic external factors that shape a person’s emotional world. He doesn’t lack friendship, but he has failed quite severely in both kinship and romantic attachment. This personality disorder may have formed very early in his childhood and has been continuously deepening over the years. As for why it never erupted, it’s simply because there was never a triggering event.”
“A trigger?”
The doctor friend smiled faintly. “You should already see it clearly. Han Er has rarely had conflicts with his family over the years. First, because he seldom goes home and has little opportunity to clash with them. Second, because his upbringing instilled in him the belief that a man must bear the burden of the family, which gave him a natural sense of responsibility toward them. He told me he has never really been in a serious relationship. Although he has had partners before, none were emotionally intimate, and they all eventually broke up. In other words, those past partners never created a psychological crisis for him and could not serve as triggers. The real source of severe insecurity was the engineer he hit last time.”
Ren Jiayun unconsciously adjusted his posture, listening more intently.
“I’ve also learned from you that this engineer… didn’t exactly, well, favor Han Er. That attitude of rejection created an unprecedented psychological crisis for him. He feared losing the person he cared about and feared being abandoned. The incident on his birthday when he assaulted someone clearly showed an uncontrolled psychological fear response. It’s possible that he had never experienced this kind of crisis since birth, so once it appeared, it triggered his impulsive, uncontrollable, irritable personality disorder.”
“…Fuck, so is there any hope for him?”
The doctor friend spat out his tea. “Come on, Old Ren, this isn’t surgery. What do you mean ‘hope or no hope’? If there were none, he’d already be sent straight to a psychiatric hospital! This kind of condition can only be treated slowly through psychological counseling, systematic desensitization techniques, and at most some hypnotherapy. Don’t worry—Han Er has lived this long without any major breakdown. He’s not going to suddenly go insane and start killing people.”
Ren Jiayun let out a sigh of relief. “Desensitization therapy isn’t a problem. He’s in Beijing these months anyway; once a week should be fine.”
“He must attend,” the doctor friend stressed firmly. “Although desensitization is painful, it’s necessary. If one day he can subconsciously accept that the engineer has broken up with him, then his explosive personality disorder will be mostly resolved.”
After returning, Ren Jiayun relayed everything—embellished and exaggerated—to Han Yue. He added, “The doctor said Engineer Chu may have been the trigger for your psychological issues, but he is far from the end of the problem. If you don’t resolve this, you’ll end up having serious conflicts with the commander and his wife, your brother and sister-in-law, and even your comrades you’ve risked your life with. If you don’t want to end up completely alone, you’d better honestly go through psychological treatment.”
Han Yue remained silent for a long time, then said in a low voice, “Tell that doctor I’ll come every Wednesday night.”
Ren Jiayun nodded and was about to call the doctor when he suddenly heard Han Yue murmur to himself, “But it’s useless. I can never accept the idea of him possibly breaking up with me—even if it’s just a hypothetical scenario…”
Ren Jiayun looked up in shock.
All he saw was Han Yue lighting a cigarette, the flame of the lighter snapping open. Head lowered, he leaned toward the fire. In the curling smoke, his expression could not be seen.